This is my first ML confession... and i welcome intelligent comments, feedback and shared experiences.

Within the last month or so...some things have been changing in my path as a submissive.
i have increased hungers... my fetishes are intensifying... and i am giving in to my cravings in new ways.

i am doing things i have never done before, privately, on my own.
No one is ordering me to do them... they are coming from within me... like a physical manifestation of my lust.

i confess that this week, i masturbated myself on a dirty, public bathroom floor to express some of that lust...
i sat on the floor in a large stall, in a corner, with my legs open to touch myself.
i let my imagination take me to a place that always affects my body and i rubbed my clit...

i liked it. i want to do it again...and again...
It felt dirty and whorish and desperate... i was safe but i felt vulnerable.
i was surprised how deeply i enjoyed it and how much i want to keep doing it.

Now, it's like...i need it... it's erotic and freeing. Expression of our desires and sexuality can happen anywhere, anytime. We just need to allow ourselves to make it happen... to indulge.
i wonder what i will try next...

i agree with much of what you said, @ChanceEncounter, however, i remember how it was for me in the beginning. i think it takes a little time to find your tribe, so to speak... or to build your circle of people you can enjoy bantering with. ML is a slice of society and just like the rest of society, we won't click with everyone who crosses our paths. i say give it some time. *hugs*

i was very, very quiet... but, when i knew i was alone, you could hear my heavy breathing echo off the walls...

Sweet! Sounds great... thank you, @Stray! :D

i do :)

Thank you, Inq! :D

You're right, creativity and a little bit of bravery... but, i knew i was safe. A new place definitely enhances the experience.
Yes, i am exploring on my own without any orders or instructions from a Dom... but... i do have "inspirations"...
i have been taken (led) in this direction where my hungers can surface... but, in a way that allows me to explore it for myself, in my own way, without direction, just an enjoyable amount of encouragement. i am more in touch with my genuine self, both as a female and a submissive than i have ever been before.

That place in my imagination? It's where my darkness lies...

No, i am not... it may seem odd, i know, but i just haven't taken that plunge.
How do You think it may be helpful for me?

You're most welcome, Ky...and thank you for your friendship. i am happy you enjoyed my confession.
i assure you, it's completely real...it was just this past Monday night. Something followed it the next night...but i am saving that for another confession... (teaser alert)

You said something critical here, "To willingly take yourself past the point of humiliation you might have felt before and just submit yourself to your own urges..."

Did you see this quote in my profile? "A slave (or submissive) submits primarily to her own nature… That she requires a material, extrovert focus for her submission, i.e. the Dominant, does not alter the fact that on the spiritual level her submission is essentially introverted. One could say that through the Dominant she submits to herself by proxy…"
[partial quote, edited for illustration here]

We could have an entire discussion based on this quote and your comment, but... i mention it because it is the core truth of how i came to the place to embrace the freedom to play like that at all. It was my own nature (my urges, as you said) that i submitted to that night... and yes, it felt intense. Do i have an "extrovert focus" for my submission? Yes... but that is not the focus of my confession... and you saw that.

There were women moving in and out of the bathroom the entire time. i stayed so very quiet...but perhaps, one day in another setting, i will feel free enough to allow myself to make sounds, no matter who is present. i didn't cum, but i am working toward being comfortable enough and staying long enough to make that happen.

It's great that you want to hear more...and you will. i am considering how to safely experience a men's room adventure :)

lol

LOL hilarious

i like it, i wanted to see more :)

my favorite part is that you said she sucked the soul out of your dick. Thank you for sharing... but... i wonder, does your girlfriend usually take care of your needs?

She's gorgeous..

Did i? i like that, Ky.
i also very much like that you're playing scenarios about me in your mind.

i love to lose myself... to sink, as i call it, into my lustful indulgences...

When i think about being discovered, i would like to say i would keep playing...
i would want to watch them be excited by my exposure and pleasure...
i don't want to cover up... i want to be free enough to continue without hesitation.

If they come in and close the door...well, that would require another confession. :)

*smiles* You're welcome and good for you.

Please remember that being a Dominant is about far more than sex and it's not for everyone.
That being said, dominating a woman in bed can be very enjoyable and your favorite kink.
There's nothing wrong with that...as long as you can find a compatible partner, as you already know.

Good luck in your search :)

O.o hmmm... i hadn't thought of that... *imagination starts up again*

Thank you! That's definitely true :D

Oh my... this is a delicious idea... thank you so much for sharing your story.
What an adventurous wife you have :) Good for you!
i will take this suggestion *grins* Do you two have sex after she visits these places?
i assume you would pounce on each other the first chance you got... :D

Indeed :)