I feel for you dude. You need to get a motion sensitive hidden cam, then you should be able to see when she's doing it.
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Yeah, I've thought about it. Little expensive and with shared funds, hard to hide on a statement. Also not sure where I could put it where she wouldn't find it.

I'm almost thinking she might turn off the phone it records from just because it was off tonight after coming home and the toys were moved. ARGHH!!!

Is the phone in plain sight? is there anywhere in the room where you could hide the phone just to see if you can hear her playing? That would be a start...
So it turns out, it actually turned off because the battery died. I got a recording but not of her :(
Doh! well at least you know it's working. Just keep at it. You'll get her eventually. ;)
So good news, she's going back to work so that reduces the window of "opportunity" to just one hour in the morning where she'll by herself. Fingers crossed :D