Look if you want it then do it. If you don’t then don’t. You are trying to hang in the middle and hint around. Just tell him what you want and do one or the other. Sounds like you done made up your mind so might as well just come out and say come give me some dick. And I bet when he gets there you whore out like you haven’t in years lol.
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I think I'm in denial. he's coming but I'm still telling myself maybe he just wants to hold me. I still don't believe it so I'm just going to let him do whatever he wants

If he is coming he is coming to fuck. And you wouldn’t have called him if you didn’t. Affairs are not advisable in my book but if you are gonna do it hook up with this guy a few times and cut him loose and make sure he knows it very short term. People that fall in love and have to meet 3 times a week always get caught. Doing it when you have an opening is way better. So what will you be wearing when he gets there?