You. Are. Not. Her. Boyfriend.
She is fucking someone else and going on vacation where they will fuck the whole time. You have been sent to friend purgatory.
Stop lying to yourself and pretending there is even a remote chance that there is a future for you two, and get the fuck on with your life. Don't be a pathetic door mat, take charge, make change, move on.
There are PLENTY of fish in the sea, you're just being lazy and complacent. Get off your ass and do it. Guaranteed you will find someone else, and when she comes crawling back seeing the new you, you will be already past that point, having seen the light of what can be if you put your mind to it, and will tell her to fuck off.
