Fortunately, all of these things are easy to obtain! Go to Walgreens, and in the "Family Planning" aisle, look for a product called "DIY Rape Kit". It contains sedatives in the form of a cherry-flavored packet you pour in her water. It contains a birth control pill, and it even has a wash cloth to clean her up with afterwards! It's really the best on the market. Don't go for the Walgreens brand either, because generics aren't as good. Wouldn't want the washcloth to be faulty and not get her clean enough.
I buy a couple of these every Friday on my way home from work. The clerk at Walgreens recognizes me when I come and, and I always get a friendly smile and a greeting, "Hey! It's that guy who rapes everyone! How's it going this week?"
My life is awesome.
