I was in Croatia, scouting base jumping sites, when the helicopter pilot pointed to a small village below and said "good slave girls there love your American cock every way you like." We landed and he led me to a stone farmhouse. An old woman at the door asked me "Do you believe in the Mother Mary and her son Jesus, or in Allah, the compassionate, the mericiful?" "I'm agnostic," I replied. "Okay you go room 2C," she motioned to a door on the left. I went inside, undressed, and laid out on the bed. Soon a young woman came in and closed the door. She was hot looking in pumps and a mini-skirt. She smiled at me, stroking her legs and asked "You like pig's grease?" "Whatever turns you on babe," I answered. She went over to a barrel by the dresser, removed the lid, and scooped out 2 handfuls of lard, and started smearing them over her legs and face. The stench was intolerable -- like a thousand unwashed jock straps marinated in urine -- so overpowering that I passed out. I'm not really sure what happened after that, but I must have had a good time because my wallet was $200 lighter when I got back to my hotel.
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