Curiosity ki**ed a cat.
I understand this saying, and if I might add, curiosity is what brought me here, and it is the reason, why I decided to write this confession.
I am in my 30's now, my sex life is uneventful, even though I was always interesting to men, but if I can share anything, that can be the only out of the ordinary relationship I ever had, and it was at the sole beginning of my sexual life.
I had an older bf, and we started having sex as soon as I became legal. This was my "crazy phase" every girl goes through, he was a punk, low life in retrospect, but at that time, that was exciting. We had sex all the time, everywhere, and one night, we were drinking at his place, with one of his friends, when he started groping me. His hands were everywhere, and I became a bit uncomfortable, but he said "let him watch".
So he did, he jerked off, with a beer in his hand, while we did it.
It was interesting, new, over the top, and since I was "the crazy girl", I went for it.
Then they started organizing this "by accident", and it happened two more times.
First time he stood up, and unloaded on my chest, second time, he got bolder, and did it on my face.
This is where all the "craziness" evaporated out of me, I got scared, thinking about what will the next thing be, and broke it off with my bf.
I remember feeling awful about myself, and it is kind of funny now, but the fact that I did nothing similar afterwards, while browsing boards here, tells me I might have enjoyed it, even though my consciousness never let me admit it to myself.
And that is my humble confession.
