Boards - Im going to apologize up front, because im going to be an vulgar asshole and say what your parents,

12 Jan 2017 2:14PM

Im going to apologize up front, because im going to be an vulgar asshole and say what your parents, her parents and your friends should have said to you. I am in no way looking down on your actions, they were quite honorable.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! the very fucking moment you realized that you loved this girl, you should have contacted the school and taken a minimum of a 6 month leave of absence and spent every fucking moment with this girl. goddamned dumb motherfuc...

once you realized how you felt about her, what she meant to you, you should have fucking begged this girl, on hands and fucking knees, to marry to you. you knew she had very little time. school could have waited, it would still be there in 6 fucking months. you should have given her everything you had. all of your attention, all of your time, all of your support, every goddamned ounce of strength you had.

*sigh*

I know this is all in hindsight, but these are things that should have gone through your thoughts and the thoughts of the people around you. all this being said, you did a very good thing. you gave her something she very much needed, a great happiness in time of immense sadness.

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Anonymous

13 Jan 2017 11:28AM

I appreciate and understand your point of view and believe me I did think about dropping out of school last fall both in those last few days before I had to leave and also during the semester. Unfortunately, there were other considerations too that I could not just walk away from. I don't come from a wealthy family. In fact I would say unlike a lot of my high school friend's families, we are probably lower middle class at best. My parents don't have college educations and have struggled mightily. My Dad worked sometimes two or three jobs doing things like working nights loading delivery trucks and things like that just to provide for our family and pay for me and my brother to go to catholic schools since the public school's suck where I grew up. They only wanted the best for us and the same opportunities as other kids from wealthier families. Me getting into and going to college was a huge deal in my family. I think one of my mom's sister's kids went to college and that was it in our family so far. We are a family only a generation removed from immigrating and of blue collar workers. A good job was something that you actually got benefits like working a union job on the assembly line. My parents wanted more than that for us. One of the only things that made it possible for me to go, along with financial aid and some money from my parents, was a partial scholarship that I received coming out of high school and based on certain criteria can maintain throughout my undergrad degree. However, one of the criteria along with keeping up grades above a 3.5 GPA and a moral clause, is that I cannot go part-time or take a semester off otherwise I forfeit my remaining scholarship. Believe me, I told Sara at the time that I did not care about any of that but she wouldn't hear anything of it. She wanted me to go back to school and make a better life for myself. She wouldn't have wanted it any other way and she really did tell me she wanted me to go on with my life and not hold on to the past. She wanted all of her friend's to live their lives and enjoy every moment. That was the kind of selfless person she was. Even in her final months she was more concerned with everyone else than with her and what she knew was coming. She had a kind of self deprecating, quirky sense of humor. Those last few months when you would start a conversation with "How are you doing?" She would come back with something like "Not dead yet." Just always trying to lighten the mood. Damn it, I'm crying again.

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Anonymous

16 Jan 2017 11:08PM

I'm really sorry OP.

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