Boards - Usually, clinician experience is one of the most important factors in determining the effectiveness

15 May 2013 2:46AM

Usually, clinician experience is one of the most important factors in determining the effectiveness of therapy. Unless you are seeing a student, find someone with more experience. (Students can be fine if this is all you can afford, they are being closely monitored by faculty.) You have to find the right therapist for you. There is nothing wrong with saying a particular person is not working for you and trying another. As long as you have realistic expectations about what they can do (there is no magic wand someone can wave and make you "better").

Also, make sure you understand from the first session the limits of confidentiality. This differs from state to state. If you say you are hurting or going to hurt a child, the therapist has to report this, though I think some states have a loophole if that is the specific reason you are seeking treatment, but not all. In some states, if you say you have hurt a child in the past and you still live with minors (even though you did not hurt them), they must report. Just make sure you understand the laws from the first session.

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thathappened

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16 May 2013 5:22AM

Also, is there anything I can do beyond therapy? Sports helped me out with anger so, I'm wondering if there is something out there to help me with this.

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Anonymous

16 May 2013 10:33AM

Just a hunch...grief therapy..
There are some practitioners who can help a person reach beyond the anger and rage to what was lost and to grieve.
To grieve is to recall the joy of what was lost, before it was lost...and at the same time feel the deep sorrow of the loss...a balanced awareness off loss and its value.

The challenge is to create a situation where you would not need to be violent to be seen or understood. What you described in V.... was, in part, a rage to demonstrate to your abuser what the pain of abuse can be like, by proxy of his vulnerable child.

The abuse or grief worker can provide you with ways of being seen and understood that short-circuit this need to act-out for understanding.

Also...a circle of men might be helpful...guys you can tell your shit to, who are committed to hear you without judgment, and respond only to your emotional issues.

Whomever you see, nobody can fix you, they can only lead you to the places you need to go to heal the wounds of your loss and to connect more deeply and compassionately with yourself and others.

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Anonymous

16 May 2013 10:42AM

www dot malesurvivor dot org

I was googling Sex Abuse Survivor Group Therapy in Long Beach and found that link

It looks like it has support tuned more in your direction
Also you can look for group therapy..or a therapist who will guide you into group therapy. In Group work...you deal with others who have suffered similar violations.

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Anonymous

16 May 2013 10:46AM

The power of working with men or mature women therapists is that they can make a space for you to rage and howl through the upper levels of anger and pain until you are exhausted enough, or feel seen enough to descend into the sadness and pain.

Most office complexes cannot have people yelling and screaming...you need isolation or thick walls for that...and a therapist who wont run away (physically or emotionally). If a therapist is ready to let you rage all you need to (promising never to harm her or yourself) then they are in the class of practitioner that can help you.

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thathappened

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16 May 2013 5:20AM

I've been through quite a few therapist for other other reasons, on top of this one. I understand what the consequences can be, law wise. I have put in a request to find a therapist who has a specialty in sexual abuse. Hopefully it's someone more experienced and can be more educated in this specific issue. Thank you for your feedback.

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