I regret my past.
I am 45, married to a wonderful man, but my past haunts me, and that is the reason I am here.
I was very free spirited, when younger, had more than a handful of men, and even after dates with men I never wanted to see again, I would usually give head, for them not to feel let down.
After one of the parties, I was left alone with four "friends", from which I had sex with one, and I gave bj to another, before, and we were all drunk and more than that, the room was full of sexual charge, and they wanted me to do something with them. The two I had previous encounters before, already had their cocks out, but I was aware enough to evade this, I told them they can watch, and I did kind of a striptease, but I only got my top off.
This ended in them pleasuring themselves, all four of them, and finishing on my breasts. One of them filmed the whole thing.
The day after, he told me he deleted it, and I took his word for it, only to realize, years later, when I stumbled upon a porn site, and after seeing all the home made videos, that men never delete those. Since then, I have been roaming porn sites, with amateur content, looking for myself.
This thing would end my marriage, for sure, and I can't believe, that I could have been that stupid. My only hope is, that cameras weren't as good then, and that it got lost in some phone transfer. But I am still looking.
