I confess that I am torn over whether I should talk to my ex who I haven't seen or talked to for two years.
We'd stopped talking after having an argument over how I was friends with someone she didn't like. She eventually did call back and apologized, saying she was wrong to try and control my life like that, and we did make up, but that didn't last long. Shortly after that, some other drama went down and we just stopped talking completely.
Anyway, sometime in May, she started trying to contact me again. I've been hesitant to answer her calls, so we haven't spoken, but the last couple days I've suddenly started feeling the need to talk to and see her again. The problem is that I can't for a number of reasons, like where she is, and the distance between us.
Unfortunately, right now I can't actually just see her whenever I want because of where and how far away she is, and even less so now due to COVID. In the past when we got to hang out we never got the amount of privacy we'd have liked but, in addition to things like hand-holding, hugging, and even kissing at one point, we also were able to get away with some groping and fondling without drawing too much attention.
Additionally, I only have one number for her that I can call, and calls made to it are usually monitored, so I am hesitant to just try calling her, because I'm worried that we'd just end up talking dirty on the first call. Which would be fine, if the person monitoring those calls wasn't her supervisor. So it could just make things harder on her, or at the very least it'd be embarrassing for her.
I honestly have really missed her though, and now I'm starting to think maybe I should just answer the next time she calls, or even try calling her myself. But I'm still not sure I should yet, so I don't know what to do... It just really sucks, and I feel like talking to someone before I make any decisions on this.
