Boards - I know exactly how you feel, OP. I used to think I was like that, but through sheer force of will I

27 Apr 2013 10:32AM

I know exactly how you feel, OP. I used to think I was like that, but through sheer force of will I added another layer on top - a "normal" person. Everyone who knew me way back when thinks I've recovered... What a crock of shit. I *wish* I had gotten over it. For a little while, I did, but the good guy I made myself into can't handle this shit any more. FFS, not even tearing up the roads on my motorcycle makes me the slightest bit happy anymore; I regularly go 95 mph(Way at the top-end of the speedometer on my Shadow 750) and the intensity of the wind whipping my face coupled with the feeling of my motor close to redlining seems almost laughable now. I am 20 for 2 more months, and I have lived as long as I want to live. There are only two things I'm looking forward to - spending $500 I don't have on a polygraph test to prove a point, and finally going to meet a girl I've been talking to for near 11 years who lives a few states up. After that, I have a few people on my shit list I intend to bludgeon to death with a crowbar as an insurance policy - I really do not want to cause my family distress with suicide, but I can't keep this going any more. I figure the best way to do that is to have that insurance policy so I don't pussy out, haha. The world would be better off without the scumbags I'm going after, anyways. Meth dealers, psychopaths(I suppose I'm one as well, eh? :P), pedos, dirty business heirs... Fuck all this shit. I'm just waiting for the day

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