Thank you, I am too ^^
You're wrong about the luck part though, I am a very rationnal person and I hugely prefer to look things straight in the eyes than fooling myself. I realised long ago that you can't change someone by force, she must do the changes herself and you only tag along (maybe a little guiding is possible, but again only if she agrees to be).
My ex didn't understood that the choices she kept making (or not making in this case) was drifting her from me, so at some point I foresaw the two or three possible futures between us and did the only thing I tought was right : give her time to decide what to do (medic school requires a lot, so I knew it would it would take some time).
The problem about her is that she only know two ways of dealing with big problems : splitting ressources between the sides of an argument to try and content everyone or ignore the subject and let things resolve by themselves (consequence of lifelong wavy relations between her two parents and a control-freak mother that drove her whole life for her until I arrived). When I discovered the whole lover thing she tried to "split time", as I already said. It didn't work, so I let you guess what happened next.
"I don't know if it matters to me which one of the two it is" -> I don't think that it's very important to understands the ins and out. Focus on being honest with yourself, then with your gf (the earlier the better, they're some things that never fully heal, like trust).
I'd add that if you don't know now what you will like and what you won't, you will when you'll get there (like a blind people that enters a porcelaine shop and bump into something)
