Unfortunately, anonymous, guys like tend to have more success with straight women. :( I am the opposite -- I'm a beta male, more Luke Skywalker than Han Solo, more Jean-Luc Piccard than James Kirk, more Superman than Batman. Mine is a quiet confidence, and I am contemplative and introverted, like many men who, like myself, grew up in Silicon Valley. Yet, unfortunately, every time a woman hears that I have feelings for her, either she just wants to be friends or she doesn't want me in her life at all. So I've never had a girlfriend.
The good news is that I did recently lose my virginity, at 39, to a much older lesbian...and she said it was largely because of my personality; it made her feel safe to do that with me. :)
I don't know if a fully realized romantic relationship is in my future....but I have discovered that sex with a close friend is an amazing experience. I hope more sex will follow and I hope I will only have sex with people I care about and with whom I form an emotional connection. She did invite me back as I was able to give her three orgasms. :)
