How It Started 3 1 and 2 were posted earlier
After Jack left I jumped up and got in the shower. It was Saturday and I didn’t have to work until Monday. I thought I had better hurry before Jack gets impatient and starts to get angry. I had grabbed a razor and some shaving cream before I got in the shower. I have been shaving my private areas for a couple of month now. I didn’t have very thick hair on my arms or legs and I had never had much facial hair. I only shaved maybe once a week and only because it looked straggly. I shaved my legs and what few hairs I had on my chest. I made sure my ass and front side was smooth. The plug was still in my ass when I got ready to shave there so, I had to pull it out, shave and then put it back in. My body felt strange when I got out of the shower. It was cool and tingly. I went to the mirror and started doing my hair. I was trying to curl it while I was blow drying it and it sound funny but, it was looking pretty good. I put on some make up to help me look more like a girl. When I got done I went to get something to wear. I didn’t have a lot of clothes to wear. Mostly what I had were panties, sleepwear, and a couple outfits. I never needed much because I only wore them in my room. I put on a thong and found a pair of shorts that were really tight and short. I remembered I had bought a halter top when I bought those shorts. Then I heard Jack say “Come on Sue. We don’t have all fucking day.” He was mad, so I hurried up and put on the shirt I had on last night and tied it over my stomach. Then I thought “OH FUCK. I had forgotten my chastity device.” I got it out of the drawer and put it on my dick. I clicked the lock and didn’t know what to do with the key. I stuck it in my pocket and ran downstairs.
When I got downstairs, Jack was in the kitchen. I said “I’m sorry for taking too long.” Jack looked me up and down. He said “You are worse than a woman. Did you wear everything I told you to?” I nodded yes. “Well let’s see.” He replied. I unbuttoned the front of my shorts and turned around. I pulled them down over my ass and bent over. I reached back and spread my ass cheeks so, he could see the pink jewel on the end of the plug. He walked over and rubbed my ass. Jack grabbed the end of the plug and started to pull it out. The fat part the plug slipped out of my ass and he pushed it back in. I moaned when he did it. Jack said “You like that sissy don’t you. Now turn around and show me what else you got on.” I stood up and turned around. He snickered when he saw the lock and said “That’s nice. Where’s the key?” I reached down and got the key out of my pocket. I handed it to him with my hand shaking so much I almost dropped it. Jack said “Is that the only one?” I nodded yes and Jack smacked me a crossed my face hard. He said “Don’t lie to me. Is this the only key?” My eyes watered up as I shook my head no. He told me to go get the rest of them. I ran to my room and got the other two keys. I went back to the kitchen to where Jack was standing and put my hand out with the keys. He took the keys and said “This better be all of them or you will be sorry.” I blurted out “I’m already sorry.” And he just laughed.
“Come on Sue.” He said “Were going for a ride.” My eyes got wide with fear. I had never been out of the house dressed like this. I said “Please Jack no. I don’t want to leave. I’ll be good and do anything you want. Just don’t make me be seen like this.” Jack said “It will be ok. You look great and where we’re going nobody will see you.” I was kind of flattered that he thought I looked good but, was scared of where he was taking me. He grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the door. We got to the driveway and he told me to get in his truck. I got in the passenger side and he started to back out when he said “Slide over here next to me.” I slid over and it looked like I was his girlfriend on a date. We didn’t drive far before he was reaching in his pants and pulling his cock out. I looked down and knew what he wanted me to do. I slid down the seat and turned so that I was facing his lap. I lowered my mouth until it was just above his cock and he pushed the back of my head down on his cock. I bobbed my head up and down sucking him. We were going down the highway with me sucking him the best I could when I heard a horn blow. I never stopped but Jack laughed and said “I think the truckers like you. Get back on the seat with your knees pulled up.” I never stopped sucking his cock as I climbed back on the seat and put my knees under my body. My mouth was on his cock and my ass was up pointing towards the passenger window. I didn’t look back not wanting to see who was going to see me. Jack told me to take my shorts and thong off. I shook my head no with his cock in my mouth. He grabbed the hair on the back of my head and shoved me down until his cock was all the way down my throat. I couldn’t breathe this way and he knew it. Then Jack said “Do it and I will let go.” I couldn’t get my shorts off fast enough and when I did he released my hair. Now my ass was bare and facing the window for everybody to see. Jack loved it. He would speed up to catch some trucks and then slow down when we were beside them. He did this a couple of times and then told me to reach back and pull my plug out. I did as I was told and the he said “Start fucking your ass with that thing until I tell you to stop.” The plug would stretch my asshole when the fat part went in and out. I was still sucking his cock and every time the large part would pass though me, I would be forced to take a deep breath causing me to suck him deeper in to my throat. He rolled the window down and I could hear horns blowing and I thought I heard people hollering something. This went on for a while and then Jack rolled the window up. He told me to sit up and put my shorts back on.
I got turned around and when I looked up I saw that we were pulling into a mall parking lot. I was scared as hell, not knowing what Jack was doing. He said “We are going shopping. You need some new things to wear.” I was scared. I had never been in public dressed as a girl. I had fantasized about it but, never had the courage to do it. He parked the truck and got out and said “Come on lets go.” I just sat there and refused to get out and Jack said “Sue, you better do what I say or I will take you to that truck stop on the highway and let all the truckers that you just flashed fuck you until can’t walk!” I knew I had to do what he said so; I got out and walked into the mall with him holding my arm really tight. Our first stop was Victoria Secrets. Jack was picking up lacy thongs and sleepwear. Then he turns and said “You need some bras. What size do we get? Double A-.” and laughed. He called a sales woman over and asked where they kept the bras that would fit his girlfriend. It was funny I almost smiled when I thought about him calling me his girlfriend. She pointed to the area of the store to go. He found some bras that were for flat cheated women. He handed me several and then he saw the garter and stocking. He like them and grabbed a few of them. My arms were full of things and he walked me to the checkout. I put the stuff on the counter and the girl scanned them. It was over $400 of stuff. I looked at Jack and he bent down and whispered to me “You better get your credit card out before I start sending your pics to my friends.” I paid for the thing and we left the store. The rest of the day was more of the same. We want into a lot of store and bought more clothes. Everything he picked out was slutty clothes that a prostitute might wear. He even made me but heels and boots at a shoe store.
We were walking down the mall and I was amazed that all day nobody seemed to know I was a guy. I even had seen a few guys checking me out like I was girl. Then all of a sudden I saw a group of guys that I had seen before. They were friends of Jack and John for the gym or the bars. I never looked up and just walked by them. Jack stopped to talk to them. I walked down the mall and thought I better stop and wait. After a few minutes Jack walked up and grabbed the back of my neck and said “Don’t you ever walk away from me? You should have stopped and chatted with the guys that will be fucking you soon!” I didn’t know what to say but, “I’m sorry” Was he really going to make me fuck all his friends? Maybe he was just threatening me. Then he said “You owe me for that and I know how make you pay.” I guess we were done at the mall because he led me out to his truck and we started to drive.
We drove for awhile to a place I was not familiar with. It was a part of town that was run down and an area that most normal people go. There were vacant building everywhere and a few people that looked like they were wondering around. Jack pulled the truck over and said “Get out! I want you to get out of the truck and walk down this street. I’ll pick you up in three blocks if you make it that far. All you got to do is anyone you pass you got to ask them if you can suck their cock! If they want you to you got to go with them and do as they say. Suck them; fuck them or whatever it takes to get them to cum on or in you.” I panicked and pleaded Jack not to make me do this. I told him I would do anything he asked just please take me home. He said “Tell me what you will do to make this not happen.” I started blurting out that I would suck his cock anytime he wanted and he could fuck my ass as often as he liked and I would be a good slut for him. He said “OK only two blocks then.” I screamed “NOOO, I’ll dress like a whore and you can show me off to anybody you like. I will act like a slut and you can take me anywhere you want and show me off to your friends.” Jack said “Just one block unless you got more to offer.” I thought and then whimpered “I will suck and fuck all of you friends and I will be your whore to use. Please don’t make me walk down this street.”
Jack said that he would agree to this if I proved that I was a good whore. He said “Pick someone on this street and suck their cock and we could go home.” I didn’t have a choice and it was better than having to walk three blocks and have sex with everyone on the street. I looked around and pointed to an old bum that was sleeping in a doorway. I figured he probably not interested. Jack pulled the truck next to the doorway and rolled down my window. Jack said “Go ahead and ask him.” I called out to the man and he just grunted. I yelled again and he rolled over and I seen his face. In the doorway he was all balled up but, when he looked up I saw he was a black man. “Tell him” Jack said. I said “Sir, Do you want me to suck your dick? I will if you want me too. He got up and started to walk towards the truck and Jack said “Show him your ass.” I turned around and put my ass up toward the window. I pulled my shorts down over my ass just as he got to the truck window. He was looking at my ass and Jack asked him if he wanted to get in. I heard the door open and I moved over to let him in. He got in the truck without saying anything. Jack said “Ask him again.” I asked him if he wanted me to suck his cock and then he started reaching in his pants. He unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and pulled out the biggest fucking cock I had ever seen. Jack started laughing and said “Good choice Sue.” His cock looked more like an arm than a cock. It was at least a foot long and as big around as a beer bottle. I knew there was no way I could suck his dick. Jack started to drive and told me to get busy. I crawled down to the floor in between the bums legs and put my face in front of his cock. I reached to the side of the seat and moved it as far back as it would go. This gave me room to move around and kneel in front of him. He smelled terrible. He smelled like burnt wood and strong body odor. I started licking his cock and it tasted just as bad as it smelled. I tried spitting on it a lot to help the taste, but it only helped a little bit. He was getting hard and thank god it didn’t get much bigger. I was licking up and down his cock and he was moaning. I put the head of his cock and tried to take him in my mouth. I was only able to get a couple of inches in and my mouth was full. Jack must have thought I wasn’t trying hard enough because he grabbed the back of my head and started pushing me down. Even with him pushing, it wouldn’t go down my throat. I only had less than half of his cock in me. The bum was starting to breathe heavy and was moaning. Jack pulled my head back and said “Not to fast Sue. Don’t make him cum yet. I want to see how much of that monster you can take in your sissy ass.” I pleaded with Jack not to make me do that. I knew his cock would hurt me and probably give me some sort of STD. Jack didn’t want to hear it. “We can go back and you can fuck all the men in that area if you want.” Jack said. I told him that I didn’t want to do that either. He said “It your choice.” I knew I would lose. I lost the last night. I lost this morning and I’m going to lose now.
I got up without saying a word or looking at either one of them I got up and pulled down my shorts and thong down. Jack said “Bend over and let your lover pull that thing out of your ass.” I leaned towards Jack and put my ass up towards the bum. He looked at my ass for a while with a confused look on his face. Then I thought “Oh fuck, he thought I was a girl.” He reached out and touched my ass and I cringed. He spread my ass cheeks and was looking at my bottom with a pink jewel in it. He grabbed the plug and started pulling like he didn’t knew what it was. He kept pulling harder watching my ass stretch around it until in came out. He looked at the plug and then I saw him put it his pocket. I remember thinking it was kind of funny. He must have thought the jewel was worth something. I got back up and moved until I was sitting on his lap. I rose up until I could point his cock at my asshole. I sat back down and started putting pressure on it to push it in. It felt like I was sitting on a pole. It wasn’t going in at all. I pushed back as hard as I could and it never went in anymore. I looked at Jack and said “It’s not going to fit.” Jack told me to look in the glove box. I opened it and saw some condoms and some gel. I grabbed the condoms and Jack hollered “No slut, use the gel.” I squirted some of the gel on my hand and reached back to put it on his cock. I thought I better use a lot and put more in my hand to spread on my asshole. I got back up and put his cock back to the entrance of my ass and pushed. “OH FUCK” I squealed. Only the head of his cock went in me. It felt so big and burned as my ass tried to stretch around it. It still only went in an inch or so and stopped. I would push back but, my ass won’t open for it.
Then all of a sudden we hit a big bump in the road. The jolt slammed me down on his cock and another couple of inches went in me. I screamed like I stabbed and was not able to breathe. The pain was terrible. I was trying to maintain my balance while I got used to the size of his cock. Jack saw what the bump did and must have got an idea. He started giving the truck gas which pushed my back towards the bum’s cock. Then he would slow up and then give the truck gas again. This made me moved back and forth on the bum’s cock. Another inch slide in me and I was holding on the dash trying to control. All of a sudden Jack turned down a street and I recognized the area. We were back at the mall. I thought “Oh no, everybody was going to see me.” That was not why Jack came here. The mall was big and had a road that circled it. When we hit the first speed bump I knew why Jack came here. The bum’s cock slammed another inch in me. The mall road had a lot of big speed bumps on it to keep people from speeding. I was doing my best to hold on to keep control when Jack said “Put your hands on your head Sue.” I knew that meant there would be nothing stopping that cock from going all the way in me. I let go of the dash and put my hands on my head when the next bump hit. His cock slammed into me and I think I almost blacked out. I pushed with my legs trying to lift myself some and the next bump came. More and more of the bum’s cock was going deeper into my ass. The speed bumps seemed to be very close together and my legs were tired and I couldn’t lift myself anymore. Every bump pushed his cock farther in me. My ass didn’t hurt much now but, I felt a lot of pressure on my insides. My weight forcing down and the speed bumps slamming me on his cock must have pushed the bum over the edge. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down hard on his cock. I felt his cock drive deeper than ever and I felt his course hair rub against my ass. He was all the way inside me. My stomach felt like I had been punched in it. He grunted as he came in my ass and then he released me. I was too weak to lift myself off his cock and just sat there impale by his big cock.
Jack reached over and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me towards him. The bum’s cock was yanked out of my ass and Jack said “Funs over get the fuck out dirt bag. Get the fuck out.” The bum never said a word and just stuffed his cock into his pants and opened the truck door. As soon as he was out Jack sped off. He looked at me and said “What a slut you turned out to be. Time to go home sissy.”

So what does one do when stereo typical terms do not match me? (no smart ass answers, it will just show you can not read nor take anything to heart from anyone who asks.. think about that please).

This pic makes me wish there was someone who truly wanted to be mine.
It makes my heart pound and crave many things.
I am not submissive and will not dominate.
I want who ever to talk and truly tell me things and I can tell them.
I would love for someone to want me to guide both of us but I want them to truly share in what we do.
I want them to have a real interest in finding new ideas with me and be open to all to learn about but we find what we want to share and how and what we do not want.
If someone in general has been watching us in what we look at for ideas and what drives our dreams AND what we do and how...., The words could only be the following in general to describe what they feel looking at it all...
Warm, Loving, Kind, Giving, Thoughtful, Fun, Hot, Kinky, Caring, Protective, Sweet, Funny, Real Love and so on.

Terms are used to place a box for someone to fit in...
A box can not define all I am and what I am not. That should be good :)

What I crave to give and someone to crave to give to me?

I like to take time and even edge for pleasure and NOT to use against someone.

slow 69 and for sure share in a kiss or swallow :)
Touch and play with each other to relax and bond.
Rub balls and any area to the point of pleasure and NOT harm or use in CBT or those ways.
Lightly pinch and rub nipples and breasts.
Lick,kiss and such nipples.
(can say same for cock or real clit and not what some call a dick).
Rub areas of body softly.
Edge each other.
Hug each other with nothing on and might just close eyes and just feel safe and loved.
Kiss and not just the lips :)
Both will at any time want to just give oral, lick and play with the others clit or cock and by default we want to do something for the other but can ask they watch and just enjoy too. Same for many things:)
Play in the bath or shower together.
Let me know they crave getting anal be cleaning their self well.

Let me know they crave we share anal be already being clean and wanting me to go to a nice place we make at home where they sexualy and with love and care touch, clean me out, play with ass, out side the anus and inside. If they want as they play, I want to play with theirs also :)
If they want they can rim me but I do not need that. If they do, I truly think of doing that also but so afraid and am not sure if I can.
Being so clean might mean we need time and play to cause our anus to make the mucus as we get turned on and want anal even more. This part if done right I like the feel and hope they would too:)
Before any anal, I truly would love any oral given and want to give it too:)
We talk about how we want to share anal. Do we want the other to slide in the others wet hole and just go till we cum then swap?, Give to the other for their pleasure then swap? Both edge how ever we want?
Want the other to ride at any speed or how ever hard but not more than the other likes.
Want the other to sit in our lap in them and they contract their anus and do what ever feels great to them even if it is to jerk to edge and enjoy the feeling over and over or jerk to near cum and then ride hands free to cum and then play to get hard and do again?
Ride dick till near cum and stop, then when they are ready ride some more and see how long that can go?

Every way one can think but both talking and together doing any of it all together any way it can be done.

I can not be called a sissy or alpha as I do not act or do as others show those terms to be.

I want toys to be included in ideas.

Size of the person is not what I need.. It is the want as I have to share pleasure and find ways to make that even better even with toys.

I can cum from my fingertips just penetrating over and over just in the lips (for lack of better terms) of my anus just as hard as when I use a toy over 6in around.

It is the persons need, want and craving for ME and to give me pleasure I want more than anything.
But I am the same so I must have someone like me who loves to give for the others pleasure but also wants to get pleasure being given just because they need,feel,crave,want,love to as I would.

Any race or gender that matches the respect and deep care for me that I have for them is fine with me. I am more open to beings and their hearts than the outside of their body.

As one small example..
If they are just 2in fully deep but foreplay makes me cum hands free when they give anal then I will crave them making me cum hands free first and want them balls deep and they cum from my anus being warm and tight around them as they do not pull back and slip out but as they work against my clamped tight anus they can push deep into and cum like crazy as I watch them :)

If they want to fill me up, then use a nice thick toy (I am not into long and pain so I never myself used a long toy.) that is 5 to over 6.5 inches around... I have used them and it has not made me where I can not choose to grip tight :)

If they want toys then great!
Nothing like each having a vibe near the P spot controlled by the other as we do 69 :)
I kind of like the idea :)

well...

One day I hope someone like me finds me :)
I wish in general the world had terms and places for many like me....
Not into hate or shame but shared love deeply with a true soul connection :)

I'm new here but here goes...i confess that I'm bi curious and let me explain I adore woman I'm attracted to them however when I masterbate I like to imagine lying in bed face down being railed hard like a sissy I like to stroke my cock on my knees pretending to ride slapping my ass on the bare floor, I've even licked my own cum up, I'm a virgin and well maybe it's getting to me but lately I've been masterbating more alot more and the fantasys are getting stronger to the point it's all I want.

My spun sissy fantasy all last night was, having a sexy 18 year old girl find out I'm wearing tiny little girl panties in a sex shop. Humiliated I beg her to keep quiet and let me run away in shame, but I'm led to the back to the porn booths/gloryholes and made to strip down to only the panties for her to not tell everyone inside. She grabbed my clothes as she snapped a picture with her phone camera, and told me to do whatever she said or I'll be left there in panties as she tells the whole store. She wants to film me saying my full name, address, and beg to be her sissy sex slave. Sissy porn is played while I masturbate till she gets back with " supplies " and I'm bound, blindfolded, with a choice of begging for chastity or being castrated. I'm crying like a real sissy bitch as she locks the smallest cage made on my now non existent penis, laughs, and breaks off the key in it. She tells me to decide either work the gloryhole for her to record and post online or be led out of the store by leash publicly and permanently her sissy slave.... Crying and humiliated I'm stopped at the front door of the store where I hear men and women laughing at me, she says out loud " you're not a man you're a sissy who will never touch that tiny little limp sissy clit again, I locked it in chastity and broke the key so you can only cum from having a sissygasm ever again. Then she slips something over my balls followed by pain, and explains the castration band stays on until I can cum like a true sissy. Proving that I am and always have been a sissy for dominant women and real alpha Males to use and abuse to fill their sexual wants and fantasies, or allow her to take the last of my masculinity permanently. Tears flow down my face as she records me bound, blindfolded, on a leash in front of a crowd of strangers at a sex store with the smallest chastity cage made and a castration band break my mind and any remaining delusions of being a man. I start to beg and plead with her to let me try and have a sissygasm right there with everyone watching and laughing as I swear to do anything she tells me to because I am her willing and obedient sissy slave for life if my mistress will allow me too try and save my worthless tiny sissy balls by having my first sissygasm right there for all to see. She agrees with conditions, my sissy clit is strictly off limits any touching or stimulation will cost me my balls no excuse, I must sit on and ride a dildo till I sissygasm or give up no vibrators allowed, and I have to suck every cock put in my face/swallow every drop of cum shot in my mouth/thank every man for his cum . I'm made to thank her for proving that I am not a man, and then she tells me the punishments for any failures plus I have to pick the handicap I want to endure while she she creates an online pay per view video blog to post all the humiliating videos she has got planned for my porn career. I can swallow one m2f transformation pill with every load of cum I swallow if I want estrogen lubrication on the 10 inch long 3 inch thick big black dildo, or swallow one pill everyother cum load but with numbing cream on the dildo make having a sissygasm take extremely long. I ask for more pills and estrogen lubrication and start to cry again when she says everytime I fail to swallow the pills or one drop of cum eagerly and with a smile another band will be added to my balls castrating me faster, failing to thank anyone sincerely results in an extra band, pill, and my home address. Every man I make cum before I can sissygasm adds a band I find out after I look into the camera and tell everyone that will ever watch my full name and that I wanted all this to happen and i willingly consented to this "forced feminization" video asking everyone to enjoy my "fantasy" come true of being actually made into a permanent sissy publicly in a forced feminization "simulation" movie with a forced fake smile acting excited about losing my failed life as a male. After the second band gets added everyone starts choking me unconscious with their cocks while telling me to rub my sissy clit and cum for everyone like the sissy I am, my castration is happening regardless and I should hurry up and have my first sissygasm and actually cum for the last time of my life. My first sissygasm has me shaking and moaning like a girl, then the blindfolded is removed as I cry and sob seeing my dead black balls knowing It's to late. I have to finish off the movie by thanking all the viewers, all the men who feed me their cum and feminization hormones, and my mistress for making my dreams come true turning me into a sissy that will never cum again. But my nightmare has just started... message me if you want to hear more.

Horny need a hungry pussy or sissy to suck and ride this cock

Sometimes I'm so prideful when my tiny dick gets almost 6 in hard and I get to fuck my hot girlfriend. I can' even make her cum if I talk dirty to her. But then sometimes I look at it And think of it as my little sissy clit. About 10 years ago I was at my girlfriend's house and fell asleep in her bed naked. Her sister knocked which woke me up but immediately came in. She literally laughed when she saw my tiny shrimp dick. My girl told me she would always ask about it and how we had sex. She would tell her that it gets almost 6-in hard  and her sister was saying there's no way. Eventually everyone in our town heard about it. At parties and bars I got asked a few times bye guys and girls to show it to them. I would chub up and whip it out or get embarrassed and walk away. The girl I'm with now for 5 years told me her ex has a huge one. She didn't know how many inches but she says it's the size of her big dildo. Which is like 10 in. I always ask her if she wants to go out and look for a big dick for her and she says no. My big dick friend has offered to help. I'm going to give her her ecstasy And when she's high we will let her know he's been coming over to watch the videos on my phone of her masturbating and fucking me. I use my  rubber pussy on him because he comes quick. Trying to get him used to her so he doesn't two pump chump her. Last two times I gave him a handjob and I suck before he comes and he comes in my mouth. 
I want her to ride him And the first time it comes out she's going to reach to put it in and feel me sucking it. That'll be the first time she had any idea I had a desire to suck cock all of a sudden. Wish me luck!

I confess that I am a complete panty slut living in persistent denial. It all started 8 months ago when my girlfriend of 4 years left me to go back home - a party school style atmosphere total shitshow of a town. Well I had begun to grow a little submissive to her - not outright, she wasn't interested in my attempts at having her 'fuck me' with small vibrators and dildos - and I was becoming a compulsive masturbater because I had these fantasies of her dominating me in some way. Never direct, never like 'Oh I want to be feminized' or anything like that - but alas.

Well she moved, and we were on good terms - we intended to make it work, and had some pretty good opportunities to hook back up in a new town and make it work. She dropped hints about like, 'You should go out and meet new girls hehe' and I would always think I was being tested and reply with 'Oh you know I'm only interested in you.'

Little did I know her intentions: She went back home and within 2 weeks sleeps with 3 guys - one night it was two in the same evening, slept with a guy she went out with around 9pm - he was too drunk by 1am ( she and I can party pretty hard ) and so she picked up a black guy that had been staring at her all night and he took her home for the night.

I found out about it - kind of a pry, had a feeling sort of thing "what did you do last night" - its not like the first time it's happened, I had slept with about 10 girls during out 4 year run - some of them were for a few months at a time kind of flings, we operated on a don't ask don't tell basis.

She told me about the whole thing - and I said it was fine, as long as she was still only interested in me emotionally - she said of course she was, promised that she loved me etc.

Well, when we had moved away, our side sex lives dried up - as we were living together, it was very hard to get away with the deceit and just keep on loving eachother . So here she was, back in the home town - with a plethora of options, while I was stuck in a very limited option

So this continues - she telling me she loves me while she's fucking other guys, but now she doesn't tell me about it - and I pretend I don't know. One night I am talking to her on the phone and she says she has to go - well I told her I'l call her later to chit chat and she says don't bother I will be at home all night just staying in.

Well I do call later, she doesn't pick up - I insinuate she has gone out, and it rings true - apparently she's at her new boyfriends house and had let him fuck her in the ass (our sacred thing) and that it was over -

This is the same girl on the phone that was flowery and sweet and said she loved me yesterday.

Corrupted, but access - and when the leash gets too long, they lose that delicate center of I can be free today and still be in love with the familiar.

Alas - what this has all created - is a monster. Me.

I am now completely addicted to the idea of being cuckolded - I ride huge black dildos every time I shower - I eat my own cum and pretend I'm doing all of it for her.

I want to be someone's sissy - but I want to be someone's man. I want to be treated with respect, but also in charge of sucking a man's cock and getting pounded like a slut.

I want to find a guy or girl who wants to prod my fantasy along, a mentor of sorts - someone who can motivate me possibly.

I'm a pretty average looking guy, not overweight - I'm not interested in sending you pictures right off the bat or anything, more interested in fielding questions for the time being.

I have to confess, I had the most amazing weekend, and I'm not completely sure where to go with it.

I recently met a woman who calls herself a cougar. She is beautiful, sexy, and kinky beyond anyone I've ever met. People always say that porn is fake, it's just acting. But some of the shit we did I feel like should have been in a porn video.

The entire weekend, we bonded. Not just physically, but emotionally. She and I are both going through divorces that have been brutal on our psyches. We've both been sexually repressed, and emotionally oppressed by our former spouses.

Over the weekend, we decided to just do anything and everything that came to mind. She tied me to the hotel bed and spanked me, flogged me, rimmed me, and pegged me. Sometimes she would flip me over and ride on top of me. She was so hot and horny that just her riding on top of me was enough for her to orgasm. She took me to the bathroom and "marked her territory," making me her official cougar cub. It was so hot and steamy. Watersports really isn't as bad as people might think.

When we went out, we switched roles. I bought her a pair of vibrating underwear and took her to all sorts of crowded places. We went to a fair that was in town, had dinner together... And then she told me that she had always wanted to go to a strip club, but was too shy. So we went to one near the hotel for some drinks before going back to bed. I had her sit on my lap, and I slid my hands down and fondled her soft little pussy while she watched girls dance topless. She creamed on my hand so many times, I just mixed it with my drink.

We had one hell of a weekend. And by the end of it, she told me that she wanted to take things long-term. We talked about how our relationship would function and what was expected out of both of us. She wants me to be her sissy slave, and maybe take HRT. (Which I am actually fine with, because I've thought about it for a while).

I was only in town on a business trip, and I am still fresh from divorce. It's a huge life-change, and I'm sure it would have a rocky start. But god damn, I can't stop thinking about her and fantasizing what life would be like together. I never get opportunities like this.... What do you guys think? Would you do it?

My sissy ass needs to ride it again.

Love a good sissy that moan and rides