A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead".
The operator says, "How do you know?"
He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife says to her husband "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back."
And he says "What do you expect? You're in a wheelchair!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Husband and Wife were shopping at the grocery store. The wife takes off shopping and her husband
is looking for her.
He starts calling out "Crisco, Crisco".
The store manager walks by and says......"Sir the Crisco is in the baking aisle which is aisle # 6."
The husband replies, "Oh I dont want to buy any Crisco, Im just calling my wife".
The store manager says, "Is that her real name?" and the husband replies, "No that is what I call her
when we are out in public".
"So what do you call her when you at home?"
"Lard ass".
