When I was 18 I ventured to the seedy section of Boston called the Combat Zone. I heard all the sordid stories of prostitutes and strippers as well as the crime and how rough it was. I was curious to what really went on down there so one night I skipped out on my friends and headed into Boston to check it out. I was 5'11 long blonde hair and weighed 135lbs. I had on jeans and a t-shirt and definitely peeked the interest of a few men as I walked down the street. I was new to sex with girls and had never had sex with a guy. I knew I wasn't gay or anything like that. I walked by a few strip bars and some adult book stores and came to one that looked interesting. I didn't see anyone in the store so I went in.

As I walked in I was stopped at the counter by the clerk who asked me for my ID. I gave him my drivers license and he laughed and said sure kid have fun. I was very young looking. I was 18 but I looked closer to 14 or 15. I walked up and down the aisles looking at the huge collection of porn magazines and sex toys. When I came to the back of the store I saw another section called Peep Booths. I asked the guy who was sitting at the desk what it was. He asked if I had ever been to a peep show before. I told him no I hadn't he said well its a bunch of booths inside where a person can go and watch some porn videos. I asked how much it was and he said $3 minimum. I gave him a $5 dollar bill and he gave me my tokens. He said go inside and find a booth and enjoy. I took my tokens and walked inside. It was so dark I could hardly see my own hand in front of me. As I walked along I felt hands grabbing my cock and ass. I kept moving not stopping. I walked up and down through this maze of booths and came to one that I thought I would try. I went inside and locked the door behind me and put a token in the machine and the video started playing. As the video played I could see in the booth and noticed a hole on one side of the booth. I looked down and saw a man in the other booth obviously jerking off. I sat up on the chair and watched my video. When the time expired I put another token in.
I then heard a knock on the door and a man said open the door please. I thought it was the man from upfront but when I unlocked the door a black guy pushed his way inside and told me to be quiet. I was very scared. He asked why I was there and I said I was just watching a video. He asked me if I sucked cock and I told him no I was straight. He laughed and said that doesn't mean anything. Lots of straight guys suck dick. I then noticed that he had his cock out. It was very big. Much bigger than my 5.5 inch cock. He told me to suck his cock. I told him I didn't want to. That's when he took out a bottle and said here sniff this it will make you feel better. I didn't know what they were. I asked and he said they were called poppers. I took a sniff and all of a sudden I felt so lightheaded like I was high. I had no control and I went to me knees. The guy then took my head and shoved his cock into my mouth. Suck it he said. I didn't know what to do my head was spinning. I began sucking his cock and I could taste his salty precum. He was holding my head shoving his black cock deep into my throat making me gag. First time my ass he said. You're a natural. I was starting to get my head straight when he stuck the bottle under my nose and told me to sniff it again. I did and it all started again. My head was spinning. I felt helpless and was doing what he told me to do. Then I heard him unlock the door. I saw out of the corner of my eye the door open and could see 2 or 3 guys standing there watching as I sucked my first cock. About 5 mins later I felt him pull my head closer and he shot his load into my mouth and told me to swallow it. I was choking and trying to swallow but it was too much. I spit some out and it landed on my shirt. He let go of my head and I sat there on the floor looking up. Then he got out and another guy got in. He took his cock out and told me to suck him. Feed him some poppers I heard a voice say and the bottle was placed at my nose for me to inhale. I knew what to do at this point and inhaled. Then opened my mouth to take this new guys cock. He was also black and very fat. I sucked his cock and he came rather quickly. Another guy came in and said he wanted my hole. I was pleading for him to not do it. But he pulled my pants down and spun me around and told me to bend over. I did and he again fed me some poppers. He said this will make it better and I felt his cock press against my virgin asshole. I wanted to scream but my head was still spinning and I felt him enter me. I couldn't believe all of this was happening to me. I felt his cock open my tight hole and slide in and out. His balls were slapping my balls as he thrust in and out. That's it baby take that dick. You like it don't you he said and I said no. Then another person held the poppers under my nose again. They were controlling me with these poppers. He fucked my ass and shot his load deep in me. When he pulled out I felt his cum run down my legs. He was then replaced by another and then another. In all I took 4 cocks up my ass and sucked off 4. They all left me there when they were done using me and I sat in the booth crying my eyes out. I was so ashamed and didn't want to leave. After about 30 mins I gathered myself up and walked out. Not making eye contact with anyone. When I got outside there were 3 or 4 guys standing outside and I walked past them. As I walked by they said good night sweet cheeks and all laughed. I felt like shit. I kept walking even when a prostitute asked me if I wanted a date. I kept that story to myself until just now. I now know this was my reason for becoming bi later in life.

Since getting released from prison recently after doing the best part of a decade in there my wife has tried to make me feel very welcome back at home and she tries to do anything she can to make my transition back to the outside works as easy as it can be. The truth is though that I would much rather still be in the prison. I heaps prefer the prison environment, everything you need is there or easily obtainable. The sex is out of this world and since prison although I’m not gay I have no interest in women and would much rather sex with another man. The raw animalistic nature of man to man sex is something they cannot be surpassed. So easy to just proposition another man and within the hour have his cock balls deep in your ass. 

So, I have a confession. More of an admission I guess.

I'm not homosexual, maybe I'm bisexual. It's hard to tell, because I've never been with a man. I've always loved women, and I'll never stop wanting them. But lately, I've been thinking about experimenting with being a "bottom".

I guess I should start from the beginning here. The last girl I was with, I guess it was a year or so ago, was the love of my life. I had finally found the girl I wanted to marry, to be with until one of us died. I was happy, and she was EXTREMELY adventurous sexually. Our first night together before we were a couple involved a threesome with her friend. It was actually initiated by her friend actually. That's another tale though.

SO, after we started really dating, things clicked quick, and we fell in love. Love isn't something that I throw around without meaning, she's actually the first of any of the girls I was with that I truly felt it for.

Sex was fantastic. We fucked like rabbits, we fucked in public, in my car, just, wherever, whenever. I STILL to this day dream about the sex. Well, while she would be blowing me, she would always massage around with her other hand, and one day, she went low and started pushing her finger against my asshole.

I never really got into the idea of having my ass fondled, but she was the kind of girl who would convince me to jump off of a cliff. I mean, this girl was heavenly, with a mix of the devil. Natural beauty, un-dyed Raven hair, tits that were out of this world, hell I doubt I'll ever do better.

Anyway, so she starts working around it, and I'm not so much in a panic, but just wondering what I should do. Damn if she didn't figure it out for me, a quick deep throat made me release whatever pucker I had as I felt the ecstasy of her pleasuring, and she worked her finger right in.

She looked at me, and just held her finger in as she stroked my cock with her other hand, and smiled. I smiled too, because, I loved her, in my head I was worried that if I enjoyed it, she might think I was weird.

Well, more and more times during sex, she would work her finger in during a blow job right to the point where she started working her finger in and out. I didn't stop her, because she enjoyed it, and honestly I did too now. It was an extra pleasuring to my already fantastic fucking.

I decided to pay her back with some ass play of my own one day, and I turned her on her belly as I massaged her, working down along the hump of her bottom, spreading her cheeks and working my tongue in. She moaned in joy as I tongued her ass and fingered her clit at the same time. I had never eaten a girl's ass before, but if there was a girl to try it on, it was her. I had fun, she was very clean, as am I, so I wasn't worried about anything "gross". Who am I kidding, I freaked out at first, but in the moment, you just go all in. You know it.

Well, the next night, she decided to PAY me back for her pleasure. She told me to lay on my back, because she wanted to give me a massage. I told her it wasn't a big deal, because massages didnt do it for me. They still really dont. I don't find them too erotic unless I get a bj at the end. Which I never did haha.

She playfully tells me to just do it, so I abide. She starts massaging me, and after a few moments, I realize she started working a lotion around my bottom. Now, I've been told that if I posted a picture of my ass, and hid the fact that I was a dude, I could have men jerking off to it. I've often considered doing it as a joke. Then revealing that the ass belonged to good ol' me. Anyway, back to the story..

She starts rubbing lotion on me, and beckons for me to get up on my knees and elbows. She starts to use the lotion to stroke my dick and balls, and it feels fucking fantastic. I'm wondering to myself, "My god, how can it get any more awesome??!!" When all of a sudden, I feel a warm moistness start to tickle around my cheeks. I tensed up when I felt her breath roll over my ass, a little warm air against my bottom.

Suddenly, she begins licking and rolling her lips around my ass hole as she strokes. I tried my best to not cum, but it was probably the best feeling I've ever had in my entire life. I came BUCKETS. I'm pretty sure I applauded her.

So, some time passes, and one day after lunch on a weekend, she tells me she wants to start using toys. Again, I've never used toys. Never really figured much for them, as I have the perfect toy for a girl right between the legs.

I tell her to get whatever she wants, and we'll try them out. So, a few days later a package from Amazon shows up at our door (we lived together for a bit in a nice rental house) and low and behold, she ordered a vibrating dildo.

I joked with her and said I was sad that she didn't think my dick was up to par anymore and she laughed and said that they were the same size, she just wanted to try a few things. So the night the dildo came, I was eager to see what she had in mind.

She asked me if I'd fuck her in her ass. I'd never had anal sex with a girl before. Don't get me wrong, I tried. My ex some time before her flew off the bed in pain because I was too big. And since then, its never really been anything I thought of doing. The vagina and mouth work just as well.

I said hell yeah, and after careful careful careful amounts of effort, we got it in, and the fuck began. At first it was slow, incredibly slow. Almost to the point where I was just wanting to take it out and fuck her normal. But, as she always did, she surprised me. She started fucking speeding up to the point where it was like I was railing away at her like normal. I still was careful, I'd read too many horror stories.

In all this, I'd forgotten about the dildo. The purple, ugly, veiny didlo. The damn thing sat next to her as I fucked her ass sideways.

Now, I've watched a lot of pornos. And they've been the best education a man could ever need. I grabbed the damn thing, I never held one before, so it was like holding another man's penis. Odd. I decided I was going to double penetrate my girlfriend. I slowed down enough to work it in, and with the satisfactory moan from her, I did my best to maintain a rhythm. Eventually, I handed the rains of ol' Veiny to her and it was epic. She came a lot, I came a lot, and it was a fantastic night.

A few nights later, because I was out of town, I came home to her in a sexy little number and the ol Veiny on the bed. I figured we'd be repeating the night we had earlier in the week, and I was excited. The way she could work a dick, damn I hate the guy who she's with now...

So, we set about it, and she gets the lube out and starts applying it all over the dildo. I kind of had an idea what she was up to. I'm not a moron, and I'm horny like 99% of the time. The other percent I'm sleeping. She asks if she can use it on me.

I stared at her for a while wondering if there was a wrong answer here. I didn't know if it'd be like Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, where I had to "Choose Wisely", or not. I decided, since she and I had been having wild nights, what the hell. We only live once.

Well, haha, it didn't work out. I did not have the anal space for anything like that, and honestly, I was terrified. I could tell she was disappointed, but not completely downtrodden about it. She told me that we'd have to work up to it. I agreed, if only to appease her.

So over the next couple of months, she would use two fingers instead of one, increasing slowly to three, to the point where it almost hurt when she was working her hand in and out.

Well, things didn't work out between us, and we ended up breaking up before ol' Veiny ended up anywhere near my ass. This is where I'm at now, and I can't figure out what's going on in my head.

I've had thoughts about having a dick jammed into my ass, and it subsequently railing it. I mean, not just any dick, a fit, young fellow like myself. Not a beary old dude. I dunno, there's just something about it that turns me on. I dunno if its because I still am drawn back to the passion with my ex, and kind of "finishing" what we set out to do, or what. I mean if that was the case, I'd just stick a dildo up there and call it a day. I think there's more to it than that.

I have what some may say is a sexy penis. Its not ugly or funny looking, its just exactly what its supposed to be. And I think thats the kind of penis I'd hope for haha. I see some of them in porn, and its kind of a turn off. So, I know its not the penis that draws me.

I've thought, maybe just a girl with a strap on? But I dunno, I feel like if I were to go that far, why not have it be a real, pulsing, throbbing cock?

These are questions I ask myself all the time. I know I love women, but maybe I'm not opposed to the idea of an attractive man. Only sexually though. I couldn't have a "relationship", per se. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm a supporter of equal rights, politically, sexually, you name it. I'm just not gay in that way. If at all. I think its a sort of bicurious attraction that I'll never fullfill. I dunno. I just had to get it out I suppose. I don't really talk to anyone about my sexual habits, so I figure a sex message board might be the place to do it.

It was a Friday evening in late March 2019. My wife was halfway through her two-week overseas trip to visit her brother, and I had the house to myself (except for my cat). Earlier that week I’d texted Jamie to see if she was up for a visit to one of our local XXX theaters, a possibility we’d tossed back and forth since earlier in the year. She and I met the previous October, when a buddy of mine had arranged a gang bang as part of our group’s ongoing activities. Using Craigslist personals, our cadre of six to eight guys, aged 50-plus, had fucked close to a dozen women over the previous year. With that platform’s demise, activity was down considerably, but we’d had one great last party, with Jamie as the target. She’s in her mid-30s, a petite 5’1” and just slightly more than 120 pounds, a natural brunette with dyed-blonde streaks, a shaved pussy, and 34B tits. On that October 2018 Sunday afternoon, five of us guys (ranging in age from 53 to 67) worked her over for the better part of three hours. Every hole was violated multiple times, she had semen leaking out of both lower orifices (not to mention the multiple shots she’d taken down her throat), and her orgasms had easily surpassed the two-dozen mark. Driving her home later that day from the hotel room where we’d done our dirty work, Jamie insisted she’d had the time of her life.

Five months later, I contacted her to ask if she wanted to accept the offer I’d made on that drive home. Jamie returned my text midday Thursday, and I agreed to pick her up the following evening for a night of as much semi-public debauchery as she could handle. It turned out she’d just been released from jail that day, having served five days in the county lockup for failing to appear at a DUI hearing. Subsequently bailed out by a friend, she announced how horny she felt, clearly ready for some action.

She popped into my car wearing a black mesh see-through top (no bra), covered by a light zip-up jacket, plus a black micro-mini skirt (barely covering her ass) and ankle boots with four-inch heels. I asked what she was wearing underneath the skirt, and in reply she grabbed my hand and shoved it between her thighs. “Black crotchless panties. You like them?” she asked. Her pussy was silky smooth and already wet.

We drove over to Circus Cinemas, the XXX movie house in North Denver. The downstairs area is an adult store, featuring tons of videos for sale plus every possible type of sex toy you can imagine. Upstairs there are three theaters, each showing hardcore fuck films. One is devoted exclusively to gay porn, while the other two show a constantly rotating mix of professionally shot hetero porn drawn from studios like Brazzers, Vixen Video, etc. A few years ago, the owners had installed new fold-down stadium-type seats with armrests in between each. The theaters have seven or eight rows of five seats each, but the place rarely has more than 12-18 patrons at any one time.

I paid our $12 entry fee and we headed up the stairs. This place has CCTV with monitors in each theater, so it’s possible for customers to see who’s coming in and whether they’re heading for one of the movie theaters. Women don’t come here often, so the appearance of a female always draws considerable attention. Couples seem to fit into one of three stereotypical roles. Most are there for stimulation, so they come in, watch the screen for 20 or 30 minutes (some sit stoically while others might engage in some light petting), and then split, presumably to return home to fuck while the juices are still flowing. A smaller number are there to show off, gladly allowing those around them to watch-and-jerk while they engage in oral sex. We usually see the girl go down on the guy, suck him dry after a short spell, and then they leave.
The third group, by far the rarest, is where the woman is there to engage with random customers. This almost always involves her performing blow jobs on assorted guys, while her companion either (a) simply watches, (b) finger-fucks her at the same time, (c) either goes first or patiently awaits his turn, or (d) joins in. In all the times I’ve gone to CC, I’ve never seen any full-on intercourse – well, except for that one time a truck-driver type fucked a cross-dresser in his ass.

Jamie was clearly ready for us to be part of that third group. We slipped into Theater One, where she promptly led me down to the front row. Most of the action takes place in the darkened recesses of the back row, but it’s a cramped space. Jamie clearly preferred the front, where there were no obstacles for anyone to approach her. It was 7:30 on a Friday, but the place was pretty empty. I counted five guys in both theaters, and none of them seemed ready to hit on Jamie. She slipped her hand into my sweats –I’d worn sweatpants commando-style, anticipating the action to follow – while I reached over and started to play with her pussy. After about 15 minutes of this, and with no one coming forward she said, “Let’s get out of here and head over to Pleasures.” On our way out, she talked me into buying her a pint-sized vibrator from the bargain bin, which would come into play much later that evening.

West Colfax in Denver is an old Jewish neighborhood that is now mostly Hispanic. A fixture at King & Colfax is the old Act I & Act II porn house, which was bought out a few years ago by the folks who operate multiple Pleasures adult stores around town. They remodeled the place, which mostly involved splitting the two big theaters into five mini-ones, and thankfully solved the problem of the place always smelling like piss. It’s a pricier entry fee ($24 for a couple), and they’re adamant about two things, both of which were told to us several times while I waited for the cashier to hand over my change. No unaccompanied women – ever – and couples are required to stay together the whole time.

We walked through the entry door into a dark corridor lined with viewing booths. Another aspect of this place is the melding of an old-time porn theater with modern booths, each with its own video screen and hundreds of XXX movie options. Your ticket price includes unlimited viewing over a six-hour period, although I’ve never seen anyone’s ticket checked to see if they’re overstayed their welcome. There must be 40-50 booths in all; some have doors that lock on the inside, but most are fairly open. The hallways wind around in a way that you almost wish you’d brought some breadcrumbs to scatter so you can find your way out again. This place was far better attended, and Jamie certainly attracted a lot of attention as we worked our way toward the east side of the building and its multiple mini-theaters.

Each theater shows a different porn genre, and it’s marked on the doors so you know what to expect. Only one runs pure hetero porn, though, and that’s where we were headed. It’s the theater farthest from the entrance, with two rows of five padded theater seats WELL PAST their sell-by dates, plus fairly spacious aisles all around the block of seats. Jamie again led me to the front row, but this time we had plenty of company. The first guy, around Jamie’s age, wasted no time in unzipping his jeans and pulling out his semi-hard dick. She tugged on his trouser leg to urge him closer and immediately sucked him all the way into her mouth. Then she wrapped the fingers of her right hand around the base of his shaft while working her lips around the cock-head, meanwhile reaching over to me with her left hand and grabbing my wrist. She pushed my hand in between her spread-apart thighs, and I responded by shoving two fingers into her pussy and pressing my thumb against her clit.

This first guy lasted maybe three minutes and pulled out just as he was coming. Some of his semen landed on her outstretched tongue, but most got deposited on her chin. Before she had a chance to wipe it away, however, a much older guy (mid-50s?) jumped in front of her with his pants already down around his ankles. She went to work on him immediately. Meanwhile, I climbed down off my seat and knelt as close to her front as possible. Once she realized what I had in mind, she twisted toward me while pushing her companion over to the other side. This gave me much clearer access to her pussy, and I took full advantage. I did everything to her that she liked, with two fingers deep and up against her g-spot, my tongue flicking her clit and occasionally sucking on it hard between my lips, and pulling out my fingers to replace it with a rigid tongue. She loves to have her asshole worked as well, but with the narrow confines of the seating and the fact she was sucking off a guy who partially blocked my full access to her crotch, that was one maneuver that would need to wait until later.

Old Guy neatly shot his wad down her throat and got replaced right away by some hefty Hispanic dude. I kept eating and fingering her pussy, and she rode up against my face through three or four orgasms plus a total of four blow jobs to completion. My knees were getting sore, so I stood up just as Guy No. 4 (a chubby white guy in his 20s) blasted her face. At that Jamie was ready for a break, so I helped her up and scraped most of the jizz off her chin before feeding it to her. The crowd of guys, which had grown to about 15 from the time we’d started, let out a collective “Ooh.” She called out to the group, “Don’t go too far, boys. I’ll be back shortly.”

We found our way through the maze to one of the bathrooms, and I locked the door behind us as she sat down to take a pee. “Did you bring any condoms?” she asked. I admitted to be holding half a dozen, so she smiled and said, “Oh, good. Let’s go back and see who wants to fuck.” As we walked into the mini-theater to return to our seats, Jamie stopped short and confronted the same old guy who’d been her second oral customer. “You’re still here,” she stated rather than asked. “You got enough left to give me a good fuck?” He appeared speechless and could only nod, so she grabbed hold of his shirtfront and half-dragged him behind her as she made her way to the front row again. “Give him a rubber,” she instructed me, so I did and then went to lean against the side wall to watch what came next.

Jamie reversed herself and knelt on the sagging theater seat, halfway leaning over the back while spreading her legs. Old Guy dropped his drawers to display a reasonably erect dick, tore open the condom wrapper and expertly slipped it on. He leaned up against Jamie, trying to find the proper height to allow him entry. Meanwhile she reached down between her legs and helped guide him into her pussy. There was a bit of confusion and halfhearted thrusts as they tried to work out between them who was going to do what. But they eventually fell into a satisfactory rhythm, and Old Guy gave her everything he had. The room was quiet except for the XXX video playing up on the big screen, so it was possible to hear clearly the guys grunts as he thrust forward, the slap of his thighs on her ass, and the moans coming from her mouth as she rubbed her clit while getting fucked.

At this point the room was pretty full of guys. Most of them had their dicks out and were stroking them. Off in one corner I noticed, for the first time, two fairly hefty cross-dressers who were clearly T-gurls, complete with breasts on display by their low-cut outfits. The smaller one was on his knees, sucking some skinny guy’s cock. Meanwhile the larger one – at least 6-4, 275 – pushed away a couple of guys who were standing in the row behind Jamie. I later learned s/he went by the name of Brittany, since as we were leaving an hour or so later, Jamie made a point of collecting a phone number. Anyway, Brittany stood right in front of Jamie as she was getting fucked, waited a beat or two to size up the situation, and then moved those feminine garments aside to reveal a massively thick cock. Without saying a word or waiting for Jamie’s reaction, s/he pulled Jamie’s head forward with one hand while guiding that dick between her lips with the other. The sight of her choking on that monster may have been too much for Old Guy, because he quickly finished up inside her and withdrew.

Jamie forced her way off that cock and asked Brittany to fuck her. S/he grunted by way of reply and went to the front of the room. I offered up a condom as s/he passed by, only to be told in a high, lispy voice, “No thanks, I’ve got my own.” Brittany ripped open a Magnum, worked the latex over the massive cock-head and down the impressively thick shaft, and took Jamie fairly brutally. S/he grabbed Jamie’s buttocks and lifted her up off into the air, which was the only way Brittany could achieve full penetration without kneeling on the floor; that’s how much of a height difference there was between them. This repositioning forced Jamie’s head down to the bottom of the seat, her face plastered against the faux-velvet-covered seat back. Brittany pounded her mercilessly for at least 40 or 50 strokes before letting out a most unladylike bellow and freezing in place while “her” cock pulsed inside Jamie’s pussy. After withdrawing, Brittany spun Jamie around and stuck that jizz-covered dick into her mouth. Jamie calmly licked it clean and then tilted her head back so she could drain the cum from the used condom she’d grabbed out of Brittany’s hand and suspended up above her face. Those still assembled (literally) gave her a standing ovation.

As all good actors know when it’s time to leave the stage, Jamie decided the conclusion of her encounter with Brittany was the perfect exit line. She stood up, somewhat shakily it seemed, pointed to the jacket she’d shed so that I knew to grab it, and then took my hand as we made our way out of the theater. Knowing I hadn’t gotten much of Jamie’s attention so far, although I’d enjoyed the show immensely and was proud to have used my oral skills to make her cum multiple times, as we headed toward my car she said, “Let’s go back to your place and try out some of those toys you told me about. I can’t wait to run my new vibrator over my clit, and my ass needs some serious Zac-attention.” But the rest of the evening’s activities will have to wait for another time to be told.

So this happened last night and I guess I am sharing it with everyone here because I have really no one else to tell; well, who I want to tell. So my friend came over to hang out, we usually hang out every so often. Anyways so I will basically get straight to the point. So he is gay and well I am not, but I like sex and feeling good. So we were just talking about our lives and ended up on sex life and he was talking about gay sex. So I was asking him about it kind of in depth and now, i guess another confession is I know guys get the prostate stimulated so I always kind of wondered what getting a cock in my ass would be like, but it was only every a thought, nothing more. Well I won't lie, he did a good job at selling it and I guess could tell I seemed interested and offered and I was pretty much like, why not, maybe it will feel great.

So we went to my bed and got ready, he got me to lie missionary on the edge of the bed and he used my astroglide to get himself and used his fingers on me, that felt a little weird, I wont lie. I will say though he was like, good as a first time I guess, he used lots of lube and took it slow, like was always asking me how I was doing, very communicative. However, it just felt like I was reverse shitting, which was an odd feeling; it wasn't painful or anything, but odd. To add, he is not small, he also is not some 10 incher or anything but he is kind of long and not too thick which I am going to take as a blessing on my end.

After a while it turned from feeling like I was reverse shitting to feeling like I just really needed to take a shit, which is kind of gross to say but I guess that is just the bodies natural feeling when something is in your ass. He would ask if he could go faster or harder and it got to a point where, again it didnt hurt but I was kind of just wanting him to finish so I told him to just do what he had to, to finish. I can assume that this point he didn't fuck me as hard as he possibly could but man, he absolutely gave it to me none the less and it was a little overwhelming. When he came he pushed every bit in and it felt like he was trying to get his dick in my guts. Him finishing in me was def the less weirdest feeling, I don't know if it was because he was relatively deep but I did not feel a thing, no warm filling me or anything. Eventually he pulled out and my ass felt empty but I still felt like I had to shit. So I was trying not to run to the bathroom but after a few minutes I just to go to the toilet. I don't know what came out of me, nothing solid, lube and jizz combo I am guessing, dunno how much of what but yeah. After I was finished we hung out a bit and he asked me what I though of it and I told him it was okay but I don't think my cup of tea. I didn't tell him how I had to basically shit a good portion and how my ass felt a little beat up and how I didn't really get anything from it, though I will admit even today I am not in any pain, and I wasn't there either it is just, I dunno. I am not sure if he expects it again but I will most likely have to pass on it.

True Story From The Annals Of Newport Beach:
Around 6pm, I went over to my favorite bar, JoJo’s, in Newport Beach for a beer and to find a pool game. The bar has a nautical motif, lots of fish nets, stuffed fish, pictures of big surf…that sort of stuff. The bar’s in front and there’s tables behind. It’s a cool little place pretty much locals only, the tourists don’t know the place even exists.
I’m 25, work in Irvine just up the street inland but I live in Newport Beach. I love the beach, love the town and am very happy with my life.
Sitting at the bar was this luscious little babe who looked vivacious, young and eager, with white short shorts, golden legs all the way up to her waist, really cute face, lips, eyes and nice natural tits…a handful at the most but very attractive. She looked at me and I looked at her and it was love t first sight. She was sooooo fucking cute! I wanted to fuck her right there but….and she knew it!
I sat down next to her and went through the preliminaries: Her name was Cindy, she was from Whittier but someone told her about Jo Jo’s and she thought she’d try it out. I thought it was unusual for a girl by herself to have come all the way down from Whittier just to try the place out. I was wondering what she was up to. She said, ”oh no, I’m not alone, my friends are sitting at the table back there,” pointing to the back where the pool tables are and the eating tables. “I’m just getting the beers.”
Yep…there were three girls sitting back there, all by themselves. She got the beers and invited me back to join them, and I went.
As it turned out, there were two really cute girls and one guy. He is rather effeminate but actually a guy. It turns out he was Cindy’s brother--so I could see a bit of a problem of her going with me to my place later.
We all chatted and laughed, chugged several beers and were all feeling quite good. I was flirting heavily with Cindy and she knew what I wanted—her, all of her, and she was ready for it.
Then Cindy came clean: “Jeremy is looking to try something he’s never done before. He isn’t sure about who he really is and wants to experiment. He wants to see what it’s like to be with a guy”. I said, “HUH?” “WTF”? I asked if he is gay and the three girls all screeched and giggled looking first at him then me. Cindy said that Jeremy would like to, “you know”. I said, “no, I don’t know, what the hell are you talking about?”
Monica whispered, “Jeremy wants to see what it’s like to suck a guy’s, you know. You know what he wants to do…he wants to suck a…GUY”! All the girls screamed in their Valley Girl accent. Cindy said, ”he is wondering if you would let him suck you off.” The girls screamed again laughing and giggling and having a great time. Cindy said, “I’ve been trying to find him a guy who would let him do it. Would YOU let him?”
I’m looking at her and I can see the ultimatum on her face--let him suck my dick or she won’t go with me tonight. “So, does he swallow?” The girls screamed with delight crossing and uncrossing their legs.
So far, no one had even spoken to Jeremy to ask him anything. The conversation was between me and the girls. Monica said, “if he has to I guess he probably would.” I replied directly to Cindy, “how about this; I’ll let him suck my cock [the girls screeched in laughter] if you’ll go with me tonight out on a date.” Cindy knew what I wanted. She said, “YES, let’s do it”.
”Ok girls…put some lipstick on him first, make it real nice…I want a red ring on it when I’m finished.” The girls knew exactly what I meant and set to work doing preparing him for his first submission to a guy.
All three girls whipped out their lip color, outline pencils and started in. They were chattering like a bunch of parrots in a tree, telling Jeremy about how he was going to like his first oral experience with a horny guy, who by now, needed his dick sucked. They were primping and painting his lips. When they finished, he did look like a girl: small, submissive and ready to suck! My dick started swelling at the thought of a virgin mouth around my demanding pole. I made a mental picture of how he would look after I had fucked his mouth…ejaculated in it…and then made him swallow all the sticky fluid.
When he was ready to go, I got up and looked at Jeremy’s face. He looked flustered by all the activity but ready to take his first step to see if he was gay. Cindy looked up at him and said, “just relax Jeremy, this is what you wanted. Just do whatever he wants you to do. Don’t say “no” to anything--just do it--that’s what guys like.” “When it comes to sex, guys like to be obeyed,” Hearing that made my dick swell more.
OH BABY…THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN. A BLOWJOB FROM JEREMY AND THEN….FUCKING HER ALL NIGHT LONG….ALL NIGHT LONG!!!
Jeremy sheepishly followed me out to my car…as SUV….blacked out windows. I got in the front and started it then turned on the AC. Then I got in the back and had him sit in the back too. I had on rather tight slacks…good fabric..thin, flexible and tailored. He could clearly see my excitement AND my boner lifting up those thin slacks. I was enjoying this especially since he had never had a cock in his mouth and mine would be the first oozing erection he had ever tasted!
Then he asked…”what do you want me to do”? I asked if this was his first time and he said “yes”. I almost ejaculated right them. I told him to lean over and kiss my hard on. He was kind of slow so I put one hand on his head and guided his mouth to my crotch. I held him there while he kissed and nibbled my dick through my slacks. I was so hard now that my dick hurt. I told him to unzip my slacks while I undid the belt.
His hands were literally shaking with excitement. I pulled my slacks down shorts with them. My boner sprang up right in his face. I laughed and said, “well…there he is…in all his glory”. By now, he was leaking cum…I pushed Jeremy’s mouth down on the tip so he could suckle the slimy liquid oozing out of my urethra. I had him lick it off. He pulled long stringers of cum back with his tongue as he began exploring my erection, the head, shaft and testicles.
I was ready so I pushed his head down until penis met teeth. “Open your mouth Jeremy…he wants to come in and get sucked”. Jeremy opened his mouth and in he went. Tongue met glans…glans met back of throat. Jeremy gagged, further exciting me. I pulled back to let him suck the head then we’d go slow while he got used to having a demanding penis in his mouth. Jeremy looked up almost pleading…torn between desire and revulsion. I had to laugh because I knew he had no option, his brain would force him to suck my dick and drink my cream even if he consciously didn’t want to. He was a twink and he had no choice but to pleasure me…with his mouth!
A few years back, I had let a friend suck me off one time in high school. He had literally begged me. When it came time to do it he told me he didn’t want to put my dirty cock in his mouth and suck it. But…he had no choice…he had to do it. He was being made to do it by something he didn’t know what. That was what was happening here. Jeremy’s mind was making him carry out his fantasy of submitting to a horny male who would make him go all the way…including swallowing semen.
I had my hand on Jeremy’s head and I pushed and pulled his head [and mouth] up and down my cock. I was determined to make it last so I pushed him off and them made him lick my balls. I wanted him to worship the source of the testosterone and sperm that he was about to eat. He actually sucked them, one at a time, while I humped his face telling him what a good job he was doing.
OMG…I was HOT, HOT, HOT! I could hardly wait to see how he handled a load of my sticky cum in his mouth…LOL!
Then, back to my totally stiff erection. I pushed his head down on it again and, this time, began in earnest to fuck his mouth. Not deep but just enough to make him choke on it now and then. In and out. In and out. In and out. In and out. I let him suckle and lick the head…. In and out….until I was ready.
I held his head tight and began spurting. I was grunting and swearing and pushing his head down on it…I was making him eat my entire masculine issue. My prostate, testicles and other glands emptied their rich cream in Jeremy’s mouth. He was green..lol! All that sticky, gooey slime in his mouth at one time…straight from between my legs. His stomach was wretching. His eyes were literally bulging out…LOL! He had a mouthful of my cum and I really wanted to watch him swallow it..
“Just hold it in your mouth and just let it trickle down your throat”. He held it but motioned that it wasn’t going anywhere. I told him to open his mouth and show it to me. It was a big pool of sticky white cream that filled his mouth. I loved it! Then, looking very brave, he took a big gulp and swallowed. Then he took another gulp and swallowed again. He coughed and choked but it was down. He started telling me how rough I was on him but he liked it. He sounded like a girl. His mouth was sticky with cum and he was lisping. I laughed and patted him on the head. “You did a good job for your first time”.
We went back in to the bar and sat with the very excited girls. They could see just by looking at him that he had done it! His lips were glossy with semen and his mouth was sticky and gooey. They all questioned me at once: “How was it? Did you…you know…in his mouth? Did he swallow? Did he like it? Did YOU like it?
I told them “I liked it”, “he did a decent job for his first time” AND---here it comes---“HE SWALLOWED”. They screamed with laughter at the picture of him with a mouthful of cock and creamy cum, unable to take it all at once. They all at once started telling him, “you see, I told you there is a lot to learn about how to give a guy a bj”. “It’s not that easy. You have to find out how each guy likes it…then do It for him”. “Now you know what he likes”, they all sang in unison.
Cindy and I eventually took off for my place. By now, she was horny as a hoot owl after seeing her brother with cum in his lips and the smell of my semen on his breath. They could all smell it wafting around the table as Jeremy began to explained it…and how much he had liked it. He said he was hooked. Monica asked, “would you do it again”? Jeremy answered, “OH YEAH…I’D DO IT AGAIN….AND AGAIN”, again to the screaming laughter of the girls.
When we were alone, the first thing Cindy said was, “OK, show me what you made my brother do for you. I said, “OK but I’ll have to pull over so we can get in the back seat”. She was eager and I was erect again. I could hardly wait to teach her the meaning of respect and she was licking her lips in anticipation of her lesson in obedience. This One loves being a GIRL…and all the things that go with it. Hey…so does her brother….LOL!

Warning ! Gay content! So now you have been warned!

This confession is a long time coming, no pun intended.  Some years ago I was going through this experimental phase and went on this Norwegian grindr-like website
and started communicating with a nice guy and I asked him over after a couple of days of communicating with him. I told him that I loved going naked, still do, and that I was looking for something of a sexual nature. Let us just say that I was quite graphic and leave it there.

He told me to open the door naked and if I did that, then he would love to help me out with my sexual needs. Well, it turns out that when the day came, he rang the door bell and when I peeped through the peep-hole, I realised that I knew the guy. But by now I was simply too horny to stop, I invited him in, and he undressed to be just as naked as I was. 
We talked for a few minutes and then I asked him about the help he had offered me. I told him that he was welcome to touch me wherever he wanted to.

I would not say no to virtually anything he wanted to do, except golden showers and scat. 
He started by saying that he wanted to blow me. I was shocked to hear that. I know how that sounds, but it was just the fact that here was a  guy I knew telling me that he wanted to suck me off. 

It did not take more than that sentence to get me hard. He got down on the floor and started to blow me.
I was in heaven. And as much as I tried to resist cumming, I had to cum. And he swallowed everything I had and did not spill a single drop.
After he did that, he smiled and told me that I actually tasted great. That was certainly one thing I did not expect to hear anyone ever complimenting me on, the taste of my cum.

After that, he started French kissing me and yes I could still feel the taste of my own cum on my tongue and I fucking loved it!
Then I heard him get a text-message as it was a very distinct signal and he got up to check it. He then excused himself and told me that he would love to come back for more but he had to leave now because of some sort of emergency. As I was too turned on to give a fucq, I did not ask.

I did not expect to hear from him again, but he kept his word and did come back for more.

When my wife(19) left me(22) I was mentally broken and I let a lot of people use me. well not that many but a few. In particular I had my first same sex experience. I am not attracted to men. but for some reason I was absolutely willing to be truly abuesd. there were four(almost 5) men and three girls and one much older woman I did things with. the first experience He was between 40-50 chubby stubbly and actually not handsome in anyway. he made me into a regular fuck. he'd come around 2-3 times during the week and use me. the first couple of times were just oral. he told me to be in just a t-shirt and boxers when he arrived. the very first time he told me to get on my knees open my mouth and stick out my tongue. i closed my eyes. heard him unzip as he asked i if had ever sucked on a dick before. I replied, no. I think he liked that. he shoved a weak semi hard cock into my mouth and told me to suck him till he finished. he made me deep throat the first time. I didn't throw up or gag too bad. he wasn't as long as me but he was thicker. he finished on my face and said to be on my knees mouth open just like today next time he came over. he said he wanted me to call him daddy.

The guy liked my quietness and submissiveness and said I was very cute. he eventually got me to give up my anal cherry. he started by pulling me to my bed told me to set up doggy style he pulled down my shorts and licked my hole. I was so shocked and scared. I started apologizing but he said I was clean and he liked how I tasted. i tried to tell him not to because I afraid of catching something. I didn't want him to fuck me. he said he had a rubber and made me slide it onto him with my mouth. then he licked my butt some more and spit n it. I was so embarrassed. he slid it in and fucked me telling i was such a good boy. he kept at it for a few minutes then said the condom was probably making it hurt more and took it off and slid back into me before i could reply. he pushed my face down into the bed hard so to keep me from resisting. I was scared I felt raped and dirty and violated. I could feel him building up to orgasm as he said i'm going to breed yu. I started struggling and trying to push him off but he just held me down Ive never been very strong. he started saying be a good girl and take it. then he came in me. it was a lot there was so much. i just layed there cum dripping from my butt hole. he started chatting saying how good and nice i was as he started fingering my wet hole. I kinda felt good that i made him feel good but also like i was just raped because he didn't stop when he should of.

he kept fucking me for about 4-5 months 2-3 times a week sometimes less. he wanted to be my daddy and i had to be his little girl. he always preferred to cum in my ass. i tried to get him to use my mouth but he'd use it to get hard then he'd flip me around and slide in like i was property. i just finally gave in and let him tell me what to do. he preferred to take me doggy though a couple of times he spoon fucked me pinning me down my legs hooked immobile in his, my arms pinned and his hand on my throat. sometimes he'd make me cry and he'd muffle my mouth or force me to suck on his fingers. I finally cut him off when he started calling me his bitch and he was gonna breed me like a bitch in heat. he usually talked awful like that but it got worse and worse and when he wanted me to give it up to his dog i didn't let him come back.

I then found another guy(Teen) but i was scared after that first guy and just sucked him off till he came in my mouth. I never talked to him again.

There was another guy(30's) but he didn't like me and got super paranoid after he smoked something. Maybe pot but I think must have been stronger cause he kinda flipped out.

the fourth guy(20's) was a random thing and had a huge piercing on his junk that made me bleed he came in my ass because he ripped the condom. he was nice enough but he left me dripping cum and blood so I never saw him after that.

The fifth guy(50's) was big bristly fat but scary strong and gray. he took me to his house after finding me online. it was a long drive(longer than he said it would be) maybe 40 min I was so scared. deep into the country. truly the middle of nowhere. He had an incredible house was well off. very smart. gentlemanly. but he scared the living out of me because i don't get lost easily and I was really lost. I had smoked a huge 2gm joint before he picked me up. when he got me to his house he made me lots of sweet cherry alcohol drinks(hard stuff too) and then gave me something called a popper to sniff i've never heard of that or since but the whole night was disorienting. I'm tall and slim nerdy and with few muscles and he was built like a brick house short thick and he had muscles. he had gay porn on and asked if i would dress up cute for him. He pulled out a few boxes of women's clothes and kink outfits I of course gave in. I dunno why. I'd never cross dressed before. He picked out the kind of clothes that drove me wild when I was with my wife. A long tight thin dress(the grope fantasy kind) nylons a black bra and matching panties. he said he wanted me clean so he showered and washed and shaved me before he dressed me. I didn;t have a hair left(except on my head) after he was done. The whole time he kept up with the alcohol and poppers. I was feeling pampered and feeling good. Between my submissive nature and all this attention and admittedly the fear I was getting truly turned on. He asked if he could tie me down but I couldn't let him. I was far too afraid. He told me I was passable or more or something. and he loved me and I really gave into him. I dunno why(maybe the drugs and stuff) but I let him have it all. He took me so many times that night I lost count. I fell asleep in his bed with him. and if my ass brushed into his cock he took me again. he fucked me in ways I was sure would break my body. he put my ankles up next to my head and I thought I would die. In the morning before he would drive me home I had to cum for him. That was the first time a guy had ever expected me to cum. I always had just given. Even with my wife I had mostly given though I did cum often in and for her. I'm not easily pushed to orgasm. So he made me lay in his bed stroking myself until I came. when I got home I fell asleep with his cum still in me and he had fucked me so hard long and roughly I was bleeding again. I of course never contacted him again but I've been tempted. The way he treated me was really well even if the whole ordeal made me feel like i was going to be murdered. that was my last bi/gay experience.

i might tell the stories of the girls i did stuff with during my breakdown but I mostly just wanted to get this out there. I'm a loner and I don't have any family so I've never had anyone to confide in I also have high functioning autism and PTSD from being orphaned and put in the system. Might be why I took my separation with my wife so hard. that and the abuses she inflicted on me. I'm just looking for any genuine thoughts. I don't want to be heckled. I know that what I did was weird and disturbing and dangerous. But I wasn't my normal self. So yea. that's about it.

So here it goes...

I recently moved to a new town and bumped in to an old college aquientance. We exchanged numbers and of course one thing led to another and before long our conversations turned dirty. As a couple of weeks went on we hooked up a couple times. But not long after, he husband found our messages on her phone.

That slowed things down some, but we still hooked up a couple times. Two days ago, out of the blue, I get a message from her husband about wanting a threesome. We exchanged a couple of messages and he said he is down for "anything you got."

What I should I do here? From the nature of the messages, it sounds like he wants some of me too. I have never considered myself gay or bj, so I'm kinda at a weird spot. Just looking for a few words of advice from you folks.

I have to confess that i have become a slave for a man who caught me cheating on my husband and blackmailed me into doing as he wishes, and now i cant stop and actually crave everything he does.

It began when my husband was away for one of his work trips, hes a big time business man so we have a comfortable life and very nice houses and many luxury cars.

I come from a sports family, both my father and my brother played professional sport and my mother was a 3 time national champ and an Olympic medalist in her sport, so physical training and proper diet are second nature to me and im still in as good a shape to day at 31 as i was when 18.
I'm 5 ft 4 athletic with c cups and a very defined shapely ass and train almost every day in our home gym and have a trainer who comes twice a week to keep me focused.

My trainer is a gay guy who is in his late 40s and runs his service with his younger adopted sister, who i had never met until he had an accident that saw him laid up for a few weeks and she took over his clients for him.
When she arrived at my door i was shocked at her appearance, She was breathtaking, her face was perfect, big boobs clearly enhanced and a muscular body that most men would be happy with.

We got to training right away and she was pushing me hard but all i could do was stare at every inch of her body and for the first time in my life i was dreaming about a woman in front of me, i have always been 100% strait but this was happening right now, and i was getting wet.
She kept telling me to focus and push harder and when i stood to move the next exercise she looked at my crotch and asked if i needed to change, i looked down to see a dark wet patch on my training shorts, embarrassed and shocked i just blurted out "im sorry, im just so turned on by you i cant help it".
She just looked at me for what seamed to be the longest time before asking if i was Bi, or was my husband not taking care of me? I told her i was strait and hubby and i fucked often but she was turning me on more than anything ever before. Again another long pause before she said that a shower would do me good and that she will wait for me to finish and talk about this then.

I went to the shower immediately and was cursing myself for being so stupid and weak when i heard her voice ask if i wanted my back washed,, i almost stopped breathing before saying yes.
She stepped into the shower and took her top off revealing fantastic fake tits and a ripped washboard stomach, leaving her loose running shorts on and told me to turn around.

She began washing my back and quickly went to my ass soaping my crack as her other hand came around to my breast then sliding down to my cunt, here teasing my holes had me almost cumming, she began kissing my shoulders and neck asking me if i want more yes yes yes was all i could say before she pushed me against the glass and i felt the unmistakable feeling of a cock entering my cunt????? What what what was all i could say as she began fucking me and i began the biggest longest orgasm of my life.

As i staggered and fell down on my knees she came all over my face and chest with what felt like cup fulls of cum, it took us both some time to recover and wash the cum off, before drying off and heading to the bedroom for more, where she utterly ravaged me for hours and expertly introduced me to being fucked in the ass.

It was the greatest sex of my life and i couldn't believe she was trans as she was so beautiful, she explained that her brother had paid for extensive surgery in her late teens to help her become a woman and she promised to return the following day for more as she left me laying spent on the bed, she showered and left within minutes, as i began to get off the bed i jumped in shock at our new gardener standing outside the window with his phone pointed at me.

I ran to the bathroom in tears as i knew my husband would leave me in a heartbeat if he found out what i had done. I called him asking why the gardener was here a day early? as he explained why the gardener appeared at the doorway to the bathroom and put his finger to his lips to shush me.
I hung up the phone as he walked slowly towards me and said, "Now now little miss this will be our little secret if you play along, Ok" all i could do was nod yes as he touched my face moving the hair to the side and his other hand on my shoulder pushing me down to my knees, i soon realized why as he hung his cock in my face and told me to "Make me happy" i shook my head and began to say no as he slapped me so hard i almost blacked out, he grabbed my head by the hair from the back and spat in my face telling me that he owned me now and to suck his cock.

My head was pounding eyes watering as i took him into my mouth to suck him but i couldn't clear my mind to concentrate of sucking him properly and it only made him more frustrated, after a few mins he lifted me bent me over the vanity and drove his cock into my cunt and began fucking me like an animal, my head was hitting the mirror and knocking over everything as he stopped and withdrew from me and slowly pushed his cock into my ass and began very slowly fucking my ass telling me he was gonna make it last, in no time at all i began to feel the same pleasure i had experienced only 20 mins ago for the first time being fucked in the ass, i tried to block it out and tell myself i was being raped but it didn't help it just made it worse, i was going to cum and nothing could stop it.
He soon realized it as well and was calling me everything a whore gets called being ass fucked as i began to cum squirting all over my feet and floor and he pumped his cum into me.
He cleaned himself with a towel and kissed me telling me he would be back soon for more as he went back to the garden.

I showered and spent the rest of the day in a haze until my husband called asking about my new trainer and the gardener, my heart and soul froze as i hadn't told him about it, when i asked how he knew he said the gardener had called him and told him that he could see two women training in the gym and didn't want to be in view of them as he worked so he would return the following day to finish off that section, and that he was sorry for not going to the door before he started work, i realized then that this motherfucker was already playing his hand and my cards were still on the table..

The next morning i saw 3 missed calls on my phone and 3 texts, as i opened the texts my heart sank, 2 were from the gardener, pics of me and my trainer fucking and a text from her saying we have a problem and that she will be at my place at nine, i felt like i was going to pass out or vomit, i had no idea what was going on or how to deal with what had happened in the last 24 hours.

At nine the door rang, was my trainer and as i was letting her in i saw the gardener walking down the driveway dressed in casual clothes with a smile on his face, walked in and told us both to take a seat at the kitchen bench as he walked across to the drinks bar, returning with one of my husbands $200 bottles of white wine and 3 glasses. He poured 3 for us all in a way that wreaked of arrogance and ultimate power, placing a glass in front of us both told us to drink and to drink now because we are gonna need it.

For the next 15 mins he explained that what he had witnessed the day before and the pics and videos he had taken were enough to destroy both our lives, me being married to a well know corporate business man and from a famous sporting family, and my trainer for being an undisclosed trans who fucked me on her first day of training me. He said i now own you both and we would be safe and sound if we did what he told us to do.

We both agreed and thanked him for not going public, he then told both of us to stand and take off our clothes and we did as i think we both knew this was coming. He fucked both of us without mercy over and over for hours, he made her fist me ass he ass fucked me, i had my first DP with them both inside me, he throat fucked her so hard she threw up all over the bed then pushed my face into it as he fucked my ass and he then pissed all over both of our faces before demanding we wash him in the shower and then dry him.

Back to the kitchen he demanded, for more wine and us both being told this is what will happen every Tuesday and Friday for as long as he wants it, and if either of us fail to meet his needs he will destroy us both.
That was 7 months ago, and it has happened every week since, the dynamics have changed now and both her and i have come to love the degradation and being pushed to the limit by him, we even by him gifts and dress up for him some days. He's still my gardener but he never does it, he makes us both do it and my husband happily pays for it and the extra personal training hours because "his wife has gone through a sexual awakening and she now enjoys being fucked in the throat and ass".

I must confess to something.

I have a girlfriend. Well, more appropiately, a fiancee. I love her to pieces. We click, and i'd not be happy unless i spent my life with her.

But... before we met, i considered myself 100% gay. And i still get these cravings for 'male comfort'. Not just the sex, but to be embraced by another male. Dominated by another male. It fulfills my wants and needs on a very primal level.

I tried to give up men entirely for her, but as time goes on, it just gets harder, and harder, and harder, to the point that mistakes are made and friends are nearly lost.

We've talked about it before, and she has been dumped many times by guys who didnt know what they want. But she is my love interest. And i could never leave her, no matter what manner of guy stuff managed to come into my life. But her insecurity ultimately leaves me high and dry with my own needs, even though i've promised her shes the only woman i could ever love, and that my need for guys is strictly on a sexual level.

I dont know if i want to simply cave in and fool around with guys behind her back, or stick it out like i should. But the longer i stick it out, the worse off i get. Sometimes i even start flirting and being sexual with other men without even realising that im doing it. Its second nature to me.

Right now, more than ever, im intensely craving male comfort. To put it bluntly, i want to be ravaged for hours non stop by a big, burly, well hung man who will leave me limping the next day. None of that iffy half-way no-balls touching condom nonsense either. I mean raw, to the hilt, being bred so deeply that it takes a day or two to fully get all the seed out.

That being said, i want to give her the exact same. Shes a nympho, and pretty much wants the exact same thing that i do. I'll gladly give it to her over and over till the break of dawn, but i want the same. We've toyed around with pegging and all that, but it just doesnt do it for me. Toys dont really do anything for her either. (we're so much alike one another that its ridiculous).

I guess im a pretty shitty guy for being how i am, but i love my sweetheart, and i'd do anything for her. But some things never change, no matter how hard i try. In the end, thats all i can do though, right? Try?

I had to get this off my chest. Thank goodness motherless has an anonymous board.

If theres any guys out there who can sympathise with me, please, lend me a hand lol. I tend to befriend those who are understanding.