Is this the most epic amateur video on the internet? You be the judge. I put together hundreds of pics of my girlfriend for this epic compilation slideshow. She gets multiple facials. She inserts multiple random objects in her pussy and ass. And there's plenty of bunny ears, just in time for Easter. So check it out and judge for yourself. THIS IS EPIC!
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So, I have a confession. More of an admission I guess.
I'm not homosexual, maybe I'm bisexual. It's hard to tell, because I've never been with a man. I've always loved women, and I'll never stop wanting them. But lately, I've been thinking about experimenting with being a "bottom".
I guess I should start from the beginning here. The last girl I was with, I guess it was a year or so ago, was the love of my life. I had finally found the girl I wanted to marry, to be with until one of us died. I was happy, and she was EXTREMELY adventurous sexually. Our first night together before we were a couple involved a threesome with her friend. It was actually initiated by her friend actually. That's another tale though.
SO, after we started really dating, things clicked quick, and we fell in love. Love isn't something that I throw around without meaning, she's actually the first of any of the girls I was with that I truly felt it for.
Sex was fantastic. We fucked like rabbits, we fucked in public, in my car, just, wherever, whenever. I STILL to this day dream about the sex. Well, while she would be blowing me, she would always massage around with her other hand, and one day, she went low and started pushing her finger against my asshole.
I never really got into the idea of having my ass fondled, but she was the kind of girl who would convince me to jump off of a cliff. I mean, this girl was heavenly, with a mix of the devil. Natural beauty, un-dyed Raven hair, tits that were out of this world, hell I doubt I'll ever do better.
Anyway, so she starts working around it, and I'm not so much in a panic, but just wondering what I should do. Damn if she didn't figure it out for me, a quick deep throat made me release whatever pucker I had as I felt the ecstasy of her pleasuring, and she worked her finger right in.
She looked at me, and just held her finger in as she stroked my cock with her other hand, and smiled. I smiled too, because, I loved her, in my head I was worried that if I enjoyed it, she might think I was weird.
Well, more and more times during sex, she would work her finger in during a blow job right to the point where she started working her finger in and out. I didn't stop her, because she enjoyed it, and honestly I did too now. It was an extra pleasuring to my already fantastic fucking.
I decided to pay her back with some ass play of my own one day, and I turned her on her belly as I massaged her, working down along the hump of her bottom, spreading her cheeks and working my tongue in. She moaned in joy as I tongued her ass and fingered her clit at the same time. I had never eaten a girl's ass before, but if there was a girl to try it on, it was her. I had fun, she was very clean, as am I, so I wasn't worried about anything "gross". Who am I kidding, I freaked out at first, but in the moment, you just go all in. You know it.
Well, the next night, she decided to PAY me back for her pleasure. She told me to lay on my back, because she wanted to give me a massage. I told her it wasn't a big deal, because massages didnt do it for me. They still really dont. I don't find them too erotic unless I get a bj at the end. Which I never did haha.
She playfully tells me to just do it, so I abide. She starts massaging me, and after a few moments, I realize she started working a lotion around my bottom. Now, I've been told that if I posted a picture of my ass, and hid the fact that I was a dude, I could have men jerking off to it. I've often considered doing it as a joke. Then revealing that the ass belonged to good ol' me. Anyway, back to the story..
She starts rubbing lotion on me, and beckons for me to get up on my knees and elbows. She starts to use the lotion to stroke my dick and balls, and it feels fucking fantastic. I'm wondering to myself, "My god, how can it get any more awesome??!!" When all of a sudden, I feel a warm moistness start to tickle around my cheeks. I tensed up when I felt her breath roll over my ass, a little warm air against my bottom.
Suddenly, she begins licking and rolling her lips around my ass hole as she strokes. I tried my best to not cum, but it was probably the best feeling I've ever had in my entire life. I came BUCKETS. I'm pretty sure I applauded her.
So, some time passes, and one day after lunch on a weekend, she tells me she wants to start using toys. Again, I've never used toys. Never really figured much for them, as I have the perfect toy for a girl right between the legs.
I tell her to get whatever she wants, and we'll try them out. So, a few days later a package from Amazon shows up at our door (we lived together for a bit in a nice rental house) and low and behold, she ordered a vibrating dildo.
I joked with her and said I was sad that she didn't think my dick was up to par anymore and she laughed and said that they were the same size, she just wanted to try a few things. So the night the dildo came, I was eager to see what she had in mind.
She asked me if I'd fuck her in her ass. I'd never had anal sex with a girl before. Don't get me wrong, I tried. My ex some time before her flew off the bed in pain because I was too big. And since then, its never really been anything I thought of doing. The vagina and mouth work just as well.
I said hell yeah, and after careful careful careful amounts of effort, we got it in, and the fuck began. At first it was slow, incredibly slow. Almost to the point where I was just wanting to take it out and fuck her normal. But, as she always did, she surprised me. She started fucking speeding up to the point where it was like I was railing away at her like normal. I still was careful, I'd read too many horror stories.
In all this, I'd forgotten about the dildo. The purple, ugly, veiny didlo. The damn thing sat next to her as I fucked her ass sideways.
Now, I've watched a lot of pornos. And they've been the best education a man could ever need. I grabbed the damn thing, I never held one before, so it was like holding another man's penis. Odd. I decided I was going to double penetrate my girlfriend. I slowed down enough to work it in, and with the satisfactory moan from her, I did my best to maintain a rhythm. Eventually, I handed the rains of ol' Veiny to her and it was epic. She came a lot, I came a lot, and it was a fantastic night.
A few nights later, because I was out of town, I came home to her in a sexy little number and the ol Veiny on the bed. I figured we'd be repeating the night we had earlier in the week, and I was excited. The way she could work a dick, damn I hate the guy who she's with now...
So, we set about it, and she gets the lube out and starts applying it all over the dildo. I kind of had an idea what she was up to. I'm not a moron, and I'm horny like 99% of the time. The other percent I'm sleeping. She asks if she can use it on me.
I stared at her for a while wondering if there was a wrong answer here. I didn't know if it'd be like Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, where I had to "Choose Wisely", or not. I decided, since she and I had been having wild nights, what the hell. We only live once.
Well, haha, it didn't work out. I did not have the anal space for anything like that, and honestly, I was terrified. I could tell she was disappointed, but not completely downtrodden about it. She told me that we'd have to work up to it. I agreed, if only to appease her.
So over the next couple of months, she would use two fingers instead of one, increasing slowly to three, to the point where it almost hurt when she was working her hand in and out.
Well, things didn't work out between us, and we ended up breaking up before ol' Veiny ended up anywhere near my ass. This is where I'm at now, and I can't figure out what's going on in my head.
I've had thoughts about having a dick jammed into my ass, and it subsequently railing it. I mean, not just any dick, a fit, young fellow like myself. Not a beary old dude. I dunno, there's just something about it that turns me on. I dunno if its because I still am drawn back to the passion with my ex, and kind of "finishing" what we set out to do, or what. I mean if that was the case, I'd just stick a dildo up there and call it a day. I think there's more to it than that.
I have what some may say is a sexy penis. Its not ugly or funny looking, its just exactly what its supposed to be. And I think thats the kind of penis I'd hope for haha. I see some of them in porn, and its kind of a turn off. So, I know its not the penis that draws me.
I've thought, maybe just a girl with a strap on? But I dunno, I feel like if I were to go that far, why not have it be a real, pulsing, throbbing cock?
These are questions I ask myself all the time. I know I love women, but maybe I'm not opposed to the idea of an attractive man. Only sexually though. I couldn't have a "relationship", per se. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm a supporter of equal rights, politically, sexually, you name it. I'm just not gay in that way. If at all. I think its a sort of bicurious attraction that I'll never fullfill. I dunno. I just had to get it out I suppose. I don't really talk to anyone about my sexual habits, so I figure a sex message board might be the place to do it.
About 20 years ago, my fiancée (now wife) moved into a basement apartment. The first night we were there, loud techno music pulsated from the apartment above, beer bottles or vodka bottles would occasionally roll across the floor. This happened damn near every night and we didn’t want to be the “new” rude neighbors that stopped the fun of these party goers but we both had to wake up early and go to work. Honestly it was getting beyond annoying. We never got to see who lived above us and it was about time I had a little peaceful talk with them.
The thud of techno and drunken dancing consumed the night, I was pissed as was the wife. I opened the door to the hallway and was about to climb up the stairs so I could talk to our parting neighbors. I heard a woman laughing above me and then several thuds. Shit, she fell down a few stairs but she was still laughing about it. Some guy was laughing about it too, I hurried up the stairs and found this raven haired blue eyes beauty barely able to move lying on the stairs.
“Are you okay??” I asked.
She didn’t say anything she just smiled, so I helped her to her feet and back up to her apartment.
“Stupid bitch,” chuckled a guy with a heavy foreign accent.
“Fuck you,” she slurred to him.
When I got to the top of the stairs to her apartment a tall guy stood in the door way with a smirk on his face. I looked past him and two skinny blonde females were dancing inside with their tops off. Damn. These people partied almost every fucking night like this. Part of me wanted to join them.
“Hope she’s okay,” I told the guy, “also, not to be rude but could you turn the music down just a bit? I’ve got to be up at 5am.”
“Oh, I’m sorry we didn’t even know you moved in to the basement,” the woman said, she was wavering on her feet, her speech was slurred but she had an accent too.
“Thanks! Have a great night, “ I said with a smile.
“Hey, you can have beer with us?” The guy asked.
I looked beyond him and saw the two topless females making out and then drinking more alcohol.
“Just one okay?”
So I went inside, and the two ladies smiled at me but kept dancing. The girl who fell on the stairs took her shirt off and was in a bra, she started dancing by herself. I sipped my beer. I started talking to the guy, it turns out that the raven blue eyed sexy lady who fell on the stairs was his sister and they immigrated from the Czech Republic. He worked construction and his sister was a secretary.
I asked about the two half naked women.
“They two dyke bitches. Sister’s friend. I fuck that one though,” he said pointing to one of the girls.
They seemed pretty cool, but I needed to leave. I finished my beer and shook his hand. His sister told me she was thankful for “saving my life,” and that I was a hero or some shit.
I went back down stairs and talked to my fiancée.
“Seems we’ve got a Czech discotek upstairs. Half naked women dancing around and the brother and sister rent the place. I drank a beer with them, they seem cool.”
The next morning I woke up and went to work. I got out of work at 1pm and had to pick my fiancée up at 6pm. Usually I would just go home and take a nap but that day I walked in the hallway and saw the raven blue eyed girl sitting at the base of the stairs.
“Hello,” I said waving.
“You married?” She asked.
“Engaged.”
“You have coffee?” she asked me motioning to my apartment door.
“Yeah, dark roast, good shit. You need some?”
“I borrow. Okay?”
She got up from the stairs. What a fucking body. Big tits, small waist and her tight little jeans left nothing to the imagination. She noticed me checking her out and smiled.
“I told two Hindu guys I shave pussy at work, now they want to fuck. I don’t want to fuck curry sauce,” she laughed.
I was like W T F. I just laughed with her and played it off; I didn’t even know where she was going with that.
“That’s good,” I told her.
She lit up a cigarette as I fumbled with my keys to open the door.
I opened the door and she followed me in.
“You and your wife party?” she asked me.
“My fiancée and I do yes. We smoke weed sometimes.”
“You have joint?”
I did, so I rolled one up. We smoked it and she started giggling.
“You cute,” she told me.
“You’re hot,” I told her. She giggled more.
This went on for weeks. She would come downstairs when I got home and we’d innocently flirt with each other, smoke weed and drink a few beers. It turns out the more she drank and smoked the looser she got with her body.
One day she came down already high as fuck on something. I would leave the door unlocked and she would usually just let herself in. We were pretty good friends at that point. She told me about how her brother would lure drunk women back and have sex with them. She said he was a pervert and she caught him spying on her in the bathroom a few times. Out of nowhere her hand was gliding across my crotch, instantly I was hard. I shrugged and immediately went to kiss her sexy lips.
Her hands unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down, she wasted no time stuffing my cock in her mouth as far as she could.
“Let see that shaved pussy,” I said.
Her pants came off and revealed the most beautiful shaved pussy my eyes have ever witnessed. My hands found her wet cunt, it was dripping.
“I wanted to fuck you first day,” she moaned.
She climbed on top of my cock and impaled herself on it. I pulled her bra away under her shirt and grabbed a handful of her soft perfect tits. I felt her pussy pumping my cock slowly at first, but she began pumping faster and faster until she let out a scream. Holy shit, did she just cum??
Her body was out of control, bucking and writhing in ecstasy. Surely the entire building could hear her screams of pleasure. I gripped her tightly, she wasn’t going to escape and hop off me, not after having an orgasm like that! I started thrusting deep into her over and over.
“Tell me when you cum,” she said as she started riding me in synch to my thrusts.
I felt it bubbling up, I was going to pop soon. I wanted to fill her with my cum, but second guessed myself really quick. She lived upstairs, my fiancée would find out if I got her pregnant really fucking quick.
I panted, “I’m going to cum,” and she jumped off me and swallowed my cock whole. I felt my cock spraying and expanding inside her warm mouth – deep inside her throat. I grabbed her long black hair and shoved her face deeper onto my meat. She sucked every last drop of cum up.
“Next time you cum in my ass,” she said smiling.
Damn. She was into anal? I’ve never done anal!
We fucked around for a few months after that. I got to tap that sexy ass of hers. Went through all kinds of lubes and tried every position known to humanity. She let me fist her, she told me that her body was my toy to “enjoy.” Eventually they moved away, and so did we. We’ve lost contact but it was some of the most fun times I’ve ever had.
Thanks Agata. You were a freak, and I miss that.
Yes, my wife eventually found out about Agata, and I eventually found out that Agata's brother was nailing my wife. Guess who has an open marriage because of the epic Czech discotek that was above us? Both my wife and I owe a lot to those Czechs :) I guess this is my confession about how my marriage opened up because of some awesome party people that lived above us a long, long time ago. I miss them.
I confess, I got my first ever gangbang last weekend ! My husband invited three friends over and we were all drinking. Everybody got pretty drunk and one thing lead to another. I've been hinting to my husband while in bed that I wanted to try another cock for quite some time. The idea seemed to turn him on but we just fantasized about it for months. Apparently he took me seriously though ! I ended up laying in the middle of the floor while they took me over and over, first one at a time and then all three while my husband watched. They took turns pounding my slutty holes. I had my first ever DP !
All three are really good looking guys, one has a huge cock. I felt like such a slutty little cum whore.
It was pure ecstasy for me. I spent the night drifting from one orgasm to the next. At one point I was cumming every few minutes. I have never known such intense pleasure . The next morning they started one by one leaving, going home to their wives and girlfriend. I was still laying naked in the floor, my body covered in cum and dripping out of me. I have never felt like a bigger whore or have been so sexually satisfied in all my life. The last thing I did before heading off to the shower and bed, was suck off my husbands cock to thank him. He had been hard and edging all night and his release in my mouth and face was epic ! Later I shot this selfie of my destroyed pussy and swollen sore clit.
my ass cheeks were bruised from my pounding from behind. oh well, the price I pay for being a naughty cum slut !
Looking for an omegle video that was titled 'omegle epic win'
Was a video of 2 girls, one skinny and one a little more chubby who were stripping/dancing and showing ass on cam, i had it on my favorites but it seems to have been removed.
Anyone know what i'm talking about?
EPIC Rate that ass! Calling on You!
I want to get pegged so bad! I've always enjoyed a "cheeky" finger up my butt, always from myself and recently I've adapted to my wife's pretty big dildo. Fucking myself hard in the ass with her dildo, I've never cum so intensely in all my life.
But my wife's an epic prude when it comes to anal stuff, I know i'd never get her to do it to me. To be honest I want her sister to do it. She's stunningly beautiful and a right kinky bitch. Would also love her to rim me mmmmm, god i'm making myself hard thinking about it.
Who else likes a good pegging?! Who you get it from?
I'm hoping my fellow pervs can help... I'm looking for a video i cant seem to find.
Its a voyeur type video, shot in an Apple store off of what probably appears to be a Mac cam. It happens to be directed at an ass. The girl is wearing grey leggings with an epic ass, eventually notices the cam is on, smiles and waves.
If anyone could post the link, I'd greatly appreciate it!
SERIOUS philosophical question for ML, folks...
So, where do you stand... Videos, or pics?
I'm no youngster so well remember when pics were about all there was, and what videos you could find were usually low quality, short rips off European porn videotapes. So for years, pics were 99% of what I fapped to (not counting non-computer sessions with just my imagination, or girls who either wanted me to fap for them or for us to fap together). Commercial porn on VHS (DVD was too rare and expensive) was mostly depressing shit with disinterested looking girls and shitty video quality, and I avoided watching any of it.
But once computer video quality got near TV level good, cable and DSL made downloading 5-20 and now even hour-plus videos take mere moments... and thanks to webcams, the majority isn't pro bitches with fake tits and obvious looks of boredom... I gotta say video is amazeballs. If I'd been able to download tens of thousands of 18-25 year old (I'm assuming the younger looking girls were 18, cuz, they MUSTVE been right?) girls who're at least as if not more freaky/horn than I was as a teen/early-20s guy and who were making non-profit hot as balls webcam vids for everyone to see doing themselves, their good girl friends, or their just as enthusiastic BFs... pretty sure I never wouldve left my bedroom for weeks at a time. The girls may be just as hot (sometimes hotter) as the pics girls, but even the plain looking girls drive me nuts... cuz you don't just see a frozen, posed moment of hips/ass, waist, tits and face, you see their writhing, hear their moaning and the squish of their wet poons, and (this does a LOT for me even if not other guys) you can watch the dozens of different intense feelings in their faces and almost even see the passion in their eyes... hell, take the right drugs and it can be damn hard to tell it apart from actually physically being there.
On the other hand, without an unlimited hard drive budget, there's only so many vids you can have. And many of them are either the same girls or groups of girls, or else the same guy with different girls who are similar enough looking to know what the dude's preferred type is. With pics, while I'm sure nobody's counted, I'd wager there's 10s if not hundreds of thousands of girls who've put homemade porn shots online. With vids it's hard to fap more than an hour or two without the same (admiddetly hot) girl showing back up, which can get a little repetetive. But then, with pics... I've been fapping online since the early 90s when Usenet had enough hot naked 15-25 (obviously I typo'd when I meant to say 18 there, right?) to make motherless give up in tears. I could go 5+ years without crossing paths with the same girl, even longer without seeing the same set of pics again.
The other good thing about a quality photo is, while it may not move, the good ones capture the girls faces in amazing shots, capture every curve, line and muscle of their bodies in an eternal moment. If you find a good 10-20 or more series of the same girl alone (or with a girl, dude, or group), scrolling throuh the set anyone with a non-tarded imagination can see a story in the photos which not uncommonly is hotter than any good video, since you need to fill in the gaps with your imagination - or you can find that one best shot and stare at it until your mind flies off in search of her pussy... or at least until your dick can't handle another stroke and your mind goes blank in an epic spoogerocket. Before that, for me anyway, I love finding a gorgeous photo of a true beauty (doesn't even need full nudity) and staring at it until the world melts away and until I blow my load I can linger my eyes across her frozen tensing and quvering muscles, her ecstatic facial expressions, and the look of "holy oh my god wow wow wow wow" in her eyes. And the effort it takes to make the girl's photo(s) fill my universe can keep me whacking for a full hour or more... while a good video can have my session over in 10 or 15 minutes. The exception being live cams where knowing I'm seeing something RIGHT NOW and that she's heading towards an orgasm almost as fast as I am mixed in with actually talking to the girl via cam or IM. In a way, fapping together with a camgirl, even if she's 5000 miles away and you don't know her real name... that's kinda magic. Whether in the same room or on different continents, you're talking to her live, often one on one with nobody else... discussing things you'd feel real awkward talking to a girlfriend about... I'd say that may be as close to actual fucking as is possible without being in the same room and at least doing oral.
It's near impossible to decide and even then I'd likely change my mind with each separate oral/hand and the rare fuck treat that comes my way because whether it's oral or more intense cam play over the net, nothing compares to a real dick-in-poon fuckparty with a girl you love (whether that's a romantic thing or just a real close friendship that occasionally crosses lines but (in my experience anyway) only tends to make the friendship deeper and stronger even if it's a one time, totally unromantic, physical thing that just serves to manifest the friendship or romance in a way words just can't.
So I dunno, I suppose I go back and forth between phases and there's times I download nothing but vids... but then will go DAYS fapping only to pics. Some of the best pics capture just the right moments for max hotness.... that first few seconds of penetrating a girl's puss and how that makes her back arch and her eyes widen and almost glow... the ecstatic grimace she has those first few serious thrusts... the minutes just before she's about to cum and loses all composure over her facial and body muscles... the divine art of a girl cumming... and that smile and the sparkling eyes of a girl just cum who's looking into her partner's eyes (or the cam if she's alone).
There's just so much LIFE in a video though.
What you all think, pics or vids best (or at least second best to taking a ride down the waterslide of ecstasy between the warm legs of a hot young lady)?
If you're a pix man (or pix lez) what are your favorite sites for real authentic looking non-pro pics, other than ML? Or your favorite ML galleries/groups? Or vidwhackers, what are your go to places? And why do you prefer one to the other?
That said, while I don't download most things, what I do save is far more video than pics. I really can't say which I think is better, or why.
I am a swm and I wanna share some good luck I recently had. About 4 years ago I was casual ling seeing this super hot younger milf. I was in my early 30, she was in her early 20's. She was single, going through a divorce and didn't want a commitment. Sounds good to me. We would get together about once a week or so and have AMAZING sex. It was always epic. She was very submissive by nature and love taking it in the ass. She wasn't skinny but had the perfect set of DD's and the curves to match. It was great. Well after a year or so she met someone she really liked. She decided to end what we had. No bid deal. Fast forward 4 years. She's married to the guy now and we have remained strictly friends. So the other day I get a text from her. She wanted to ask me something. I say ask away. She wants to know if I'd be willing to get together from time to time and fuck the way we used to. She is not unhappy in her marriage but she would like to have the kind of sex we used to have from time to time. Of course I said I'd be a fool to turn that down and that I understand we need to keep it discreet. So now I can't wait to fuck her again. It's been a long time and the memories are faded. But new ones and possible vids will be made.
I confess I like hot really hot salsa feels coming out my ass the next day. Just makes the morning shit that much more epic.
I’d say its been 8 or 9 years since the last time I rammed a stick of butter up my ass while jerking off and fingering my asshole. I did it because it felt really good but that’s not the point of this story. I want to tell you of the events proceeding this fateful masturbation.
I’m sitting there watching The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and around 15 minutes go by and I feel a sticky wetness on my ass cheeks and ballsack. This is when I realized that the butter I had shoved up my asshole had melted and leaked out onto my couch and it had a very distinct putrid stench to it. It had mixed with my shit to create something far worse than shit. It was probably the worst thing I’ve smelt in all my life. It actually smelt many times worse than the time I had stuck a pickle up my asshole and forgot about until the morning after.
While standing there taking in this wonderfully putrid smell I realize that I cannot be the only one to smell this. So I waledk quickly upstairs with my ass cheeks clenched not wanting to spill a drop of my shit butter. I pull out from my sock drawer a heavy woolen sock and unload the contents of my asshole into it. I thought the smell was bad before. I now had the urge to do a barrel roll out my window to escape the horrid odor. I quickly tied the top of the sock and left my house.
As I walked down the street a brownish-yellow liquid slowly dripped from the bottom of the sock. The neighborhood kids became very curious as to what was going on and as they approached they caught a whiff of the putrid smell emanating from the sock. This is when Joanna, my neighbors 13 year old daughter vomited what looked like a freshly eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich all over the street. I nearly came in my pants at that moment. I had the sickest hard on. In fact the only thing keeping me from raping Joanna while she lay in a pool of her own vomit was my sock full of shit butter. I knew I had something to do and I was damn sure going to do it. I kept walking.
I finally made it to my local grocery store. An epic journey it had been. Every asshole in the vicinity could smell the putrid odor but nobody knew where it came from. I can still hear them in my mind. “What the fuck is that smell.” “This smell is so bad I think I am going to kill myself with a hammer” one man said. I even saw a fellow depraved maniac in the corner of my eye. I could tell because he had the same smile that I did. He was laughing with the same glee. I’m sure he’s raped a severely mentally challenged child in his lifetime. I know I have.
That’s when I saw him. The old nigger who sat in front of shoprite saying hello to every asshole strolling by. I fucking hated this man. I couldn’t tell you why. I just hated him. He could smell my shit butter. I could tell because he was gasping for air. I quickly approached him thinking “this will be the greatest day of my life. Nothing could stop me now.” This is when I felt a sudden burst. I realized later that I had shot a load off in my pants right at that moment.
I was arms length from the nigger now. I clenched the sock tight with both hands and swung it at the niggers face with all my might. I hit him in the cheek with such force that the brownish-liquid had sprayed out all over his face. He immediately threw up. I sat back laughing as he washed out his eyes with bottled water. He asked “why?” and I responded by dumping the rest of the socks contents on his head. Truly, I did it for the lulz.
While everybody was distracted I walked into shoprite and quickly shoved as many apples as I could up my ass. It was 4. I left shoprite with the most satisfaction I have ever felt in my life. I remember thinking “wow, I’m such a great person, I get 4 free apples, and I get to go home and jerk off to old.”
When I think back on that day, I can always remember how sweet those apples tasted. Nothing sweeter.