How It Started 3 1 and 2 were posted earlier
After Jack left I jumped up and got in the shower. It was Saturday and I didn’t have to work until Monday. I thought I had better hurry before Jack gets impatient and starts to get angry. I had grabbed a razor and some shaving cream before I got in the shower. I have been shaving my private areas for a couple of month now. I didn’t have very thick hair on my arms or legs and I had never had much facial hair. I only shaved maybe once a week and only because it looked straggly. I shaved my legs and what few hairs I had on my chest. I made sure my ass and front side was smooth. The plug was still in my ass when I got ready to shave there so, I had to pull it out, shave and then put it back in. My body felt strange when I got out of the shower. It was cool and tingly. I went to the mirror and started doing my hair. I was trying to curl it while I was blow drying it and it sound funny but, it was looking pretty good. I put on some make up to help me look more like a girl. When I got done I went to get something to wear. I didn’t have a lot of clothes to wear. Mostly what I had were panties, sleepwear, and a couple outfits. I never needed much because I only wore them in my room. I put on a thong and found a pair of shorts that were really tight and short. I remembered I had bought a halter top when I bought those shorts. Then I heard Jack say “Come on Sue. We don’t have all fucking day.” He was mad, so I hurried up and put on the shirt I had on last night and tied it over my stomach. Then I thought “OH FUCK. I had forgotten my chastity device.” I got it out of the drawer and put it on my dick. I clicked the lock and didn’t know what to do with the key. I stuck it in my pocket and ran downstairs.
When I got downstairs, Jack was in the kitchen. I said “I’m sorry for taking too long.” Jack looked me up and down. He said “You are worse than a woman. Did you wear everything I told you to?” I nodded yes. “Well let’s see.” He replied. I unbuttoned the front of my shorts and turned around. I pulled them down over my ass and bent over. I reached back and spread my ass cheeks so, he could see the pink jewel on the end of the plug. He walked over and rubbed my ass. Jack grabbed the end of the plug and started to pull it out. The fat part the plug slipped out of my ass and he pushed it back in. I moaned when he did it. Jack said “You like that sissy don’t you. Now turn around and show me what else you got on.” I stood up and turned around. He snickered when he saw the lock and said “That’s nice. Where’s the key?” I reached down and got the key out of my pocket. I handed it to him with my hand shaking so much I almost dropped it. Jack said “Is that the only one?” I nodded yes and Jack smacked me a crossed my face hard. He said “Don’t lie to me. Is this the only key?” My eyes watered up as I shook my head no. He told me to go get the rest of them. I ran to my room and got the other two keys. I went back to the kitchen to where Jack was standing and put my hand out with the keys. He took the keys and said “This better be all of them or you will be sorry.” I blurted out “I’m already sorry.” And he just laughed.
“Come on Sue.” He said “Were going for a ride.” My eyes got wide with fear. I had never been out of the house dressed like this. I said “Please Jack no. I don’t want to leave. I’ll be good and do anything you want. Just don’t make me be seen like this.” Jack said “It will be ok. You look great and where we’re going nobody will see you.” I was kind of flattered that he thought I looked good but, was scared of where he was taking me. He grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the door. We got to the driveway and he told me to get in his truck. I got in the passenger side and he started to back out when he said “Slide over here next to me.” I slid over and it looked like I was his girlfriend on a date. We didn’t drive far before he was reaching in his pants and pulling his cock out. I looked down and knew what he wanted me to do. I slid down the seat and turned so that I was facing his lap. I lowered my mouth until it was just above his cock and he pushed the back of my head down on his cock. I bobbed my head up and down sucking him. We were going down the highway with me sucking him the best I could when I heard a horn blow. I never stopped but Jack laughed and said “I think the truckers like you. Get back on the seat with your knees pulled up.” I never stopped sucking his cock as I climbed back on the seat and put my knees under my body. My mouth was on his cock and my ass was up pointing towards the passenger window. I didn’t look back not wanting to see who was going to see me. Jack told me to take my shorts and thong off. I shook my head no with his cock in my mouth. He grabbed the hair on the back of my head and shoved me down until his cock was all the way down my throat. I couldn’t breathe this way and he knew it. Then Jack said “Do it and I will let go.” I couldn’t get my shorts off fast enough and when I did he released my hair. Now my ass was bare and facing the window for everybody to see. Jack loved it. He would speed up to catch some trucks and then slow down when we were beside them. He did this a couple of times and then told me to reach back and pull my plug out. I did as I was told and the he said “Start fucking your ass with that thing until I tell you to stop.” The plug would stretch my asshole when the fat part went in and out. I was still sucking his cock and every time the large part would pass though me, I would be forced to take a deep breath causing me to suck him deeper in to my throat. He rolled the window down and I could hear horns blowing and I thought I heard people hollering something. This went on for a while and then Jack rolled the window up. He told me to sit up and put my shorts back on.
I got turned around and when I looked up I saw that we were pulling into a mall parking lot. I was scared as hell, not knowing what Jack was doing. He said “We are going shopping. You need some new things to wear.” I was scared. I had never been in public dressed as a girl. I had fantasized about it but, never had the courage to do it. He parked the truck and got out and said “Come on lets go.” I just sat there and refused to get out and Jack said “Sue, you better do what I say or I will take you to that truck stop on the highway and let all the truckers that you just flashed fuck you until can’t walk!” I knew I had to do what he said so; I got out and walked into the mall with him holding my arm really tight. Our first stop was Victoria Secrets. Jack was picking up lacy thongs and sleepwear. Then he turns and said “You need some bras. What size do we get? Double A-.” and laughed. He called a sales woman over and asked where they kept the bras that would fit his girlfriend. It was funny I almost smiled when I thought about him calling me his girlfriend. She pointed to the area of the store to go. He found some bras that were for flat cheated women. He handed me several and then he saw the garter and stocking. He like them and grabbed a few of them. My arms were full of things and he walked me to the checkout. I put the stuff on the counter and the girl scanned them. It was over $400 of stuff. I looked at Jack and he bent down and whispered to me “You better get your credit card out before I start sending your pics to my friends.” I paid for the thing and we left the store. The rest of the day was more of the same. We want into a lot of store and bought more clothes. Everything he picked out was slutty clothes that a prostitute might wear. He even made me but heels and boots at a shoe store.
We were walking down the mall and I was amazed that all day nobody seemed to know I was a guy. I even had seen a few guys checking me out like I was girl. Then all of a sudden I saw a group of guys that I had seen before. They were friends of Jack and John for the gym or the bars. I never looked up and just walked by them. Jack stopped to talk to them. I walked down the mall and thought I better stop and wait. After a few minutes Jack walked up and grabbed the back of my neck and said “Don’t you ever walk away from me? You should have stopped and chatted with the guys that will be fucking you soon!” I didn’t know what to say but, “I’m sorry” Was he really going to make me fuck all his friends? Maybe he was just threatening me. Then he said “You owe me for that and I know how make you pay.” I guess we were done at the mall because he led me out to his truck and we started to drive.
We drove for awhile to a place I was not familiar with. It was a part of town that was run down and an area that most normal people go. There were vacant building everywhere and a few people that looked like they were wondering around. Jack pulled the truck over and said “Get out! I want you to get out of the truck and walk down this street. I’ll pick you up in three blocks if you make it that far. All you got to do is anyone you pass you got to ask them if you can suck their cock! If they want you to you got to go with them and do as they say. Suck them; fuck them or whatever it takes to get them to cum on or in you.” I panicked and pleaded Jack not to make me do this. I told him I would do anything he asked just please take me home. He said “Tell me what you will do to make this not happen.” I started blurting out that I would suck his cock anytime he wanted and he could fuck my ass as often as he liked and I would be a good slut for him. He said “OK only two blocks then.” I screamed “NOOO, I’ll dress like a whore and you can show me off to anybody you like. I will act like a slut and you can take me anywhere you want and show me off to your friends.” Jack said “Just one block unless you got more to offer.” I thought and then whimpered “I will suck and fuck all of you friends and I will be your whore to use. Please don’t make me walk down this street.”
Jack said that he would agree to this if I proved that I was a good whore. He said “Pick someone on this street and suck their cock and we could go home.” I didn’t have a choice and it was better than having to walk three blocks and have sex with everyone on the street. I looked around and pointed to an old bum that was sleeping in a doorway. I figured he probably not interested. Jack pulled the truck next to the doorway and rolled down my window. Jack said “Go ahead and ask him.” I called out to the man and he just grunted. I yelled again and he rolled over and I seen his face. In the doorway he was all balled up but, when he looked up I saw he was a black man. “Tell him” Jack said. I said “Sir, Do you want me to suck your dick? I will if you want me too. He got up and started to walk towards the truck and Jack said “Show him your ass.” I turned around and put my ass up toward the window. I pulled my shorts down over my ass just as he got to the truck window. He was looking at my ass and Jack asked him if he wanted to get in. I heard the door open and I moved over to let him in. He got in the truck without saying anything. Jack said “Ask him again.” I asked him if he wanted me to suck his cock and then he started reaching in his pants. He unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and pulled out the biggest fucking cock I had ever seen. Jack started laughing and said “Good choice Sue.” His cock looked more like an arm than a cock. It was at least a foot long and as big around as a beer bottle. I knew there was no way I could suck his dick. Jack started to drive and told me to get busy. I crawled down to the floor in between the bums legs and put my face in front of his cock. I reached to the side of the seat and moved it as far back as it would go. This gave me room to move around and kneel in front of him. He smelled terrible. He smelled like burnt wood and strong body odor. I started licking his cock and it tasted just as bad as it smelled. I tried spitting on it a lot to help the taste, but it only helped a little bit. He was getting hard and thank god it didn’t get much bigger. I was licking up and down his cock and he was moaning. I put the head of his cock and tried to take him in my mouth. I was only able to get a couple of inches in and my mouth was full. Jack must have thought I wasn’t trying hard enough because he grabbed the back of my head and started pushing me down. Even with him pushing, it wouldn’t go down my throat. I only had less than half of his cock in me. The bum was starting to breathe heavy and was moaning. Jack pulled my head back and said “Not to fast Sue. Don’t make him cum yet. I want to see how much of that monster you can take in your sissy ass.” I pleaded with Jack not to make me do that. I knew his cock would hurt me and probably give me some sort of STD. Jack didn’t want to hear it. “We can go back and you can fuck all the men in that area if you want.” Jack said. I told him that I didn’t want to do that either. He said “It your choice.” I knew I would lose. I lost the last night. I lost this morning and I’m going to lose now.
I got up without saying a word or looking at either one of them I got up and pulled down my shorts and thong down. Jack said “Bend over and let your lover pull that thing out of your ass.” I leaned towards Jack and put my ass up towards the bum. He looked at my ass for a while with a confused look on his face. Then I thought “Oh fuck, he thought I was a girl.” He reached out and touched my ass and I cringed. He spread my ass cheeks and was looking at my bottom with a pink jewel in it. He grabbed the plug and started pulling like he didn’t knew what it was. He kept pulling harder watching my ass stretch around it until in came out. He looked at the plug and then I saw him put it his pocket. I remember thinking it was kind of funny. He must have thought the jewel was worth something. I got back up and moved until I was sitting on his lap. I rose up until I could point his cock at my asshole. I sat back down and started putting pressure on it to push it in. It felt like I was sitting on a pole. It wasn’t going in at all. I pushed back as hard as I could and it never went in anymore. I looked at Jack and said “It’s not going to fit.” Jack told me to look in the glove box. I opened it and saw some condoms and some gel. I grabbed the condoms and Jack hollered “No slut, use the gel.” I squirted some of the gel on my hand and reached back to put it on his cock. I thought I better use a lot and put more in my hand to spread on my asshole. I got back up and put his cock back to the entrance of my ass and pushed. “OH FUCK” I squealed. Only the head of his cock went in me. It felt so big and burned as my ass tried to stretch around it. It still only went in an inch or so and stopped. I would push back but, my ass won’t open for it.
Then all of a sudden we hit a big bump in the road. The jolt slammed me down on his cock and another couple of inches went in me. I screamed like I stabbed and was not able to breathe. The pain was terrible. I was trying to maintain my balance while I got used to the size of his cock. Jack saw what the bump did and must have got an idea. He started giving the truck gas which pushed my back towards the bum’s cock. Then he would slow up and then give the truck gas again. This made me moved back and forth on the bum’s cock. Another inch slide in me and I was holding on the dash trying to control. All of a sudden Jack turned down a street and I recognized the area. We were back at the mall. I thought “Oh no, everybody was going to see me.” That was not why Jack came here. The mall was big and had a road that circled it. When we hit the first speed bump I knew why Jack came here. The bum’s cock slammed another inch in me. The mall road had a lot of big speed bumps on it to keep people from speeding. I was doing my best to hold on to keep control when Jack said “Put your hands on your head Sue.” I knew that meant there would be nothing stopping that cock from going all the way in me. I let go of the dash and put my hands on my head when the next bump hit. His cock slammed into me and I think I almost blacked out. I pushed with my legs trying to lift myself some and the next bump came. More and more of the bum’s cock was going deeper into my ass. The speed bumps seemed to be very close together and my legs were tired and I couldn’t lift myself anymore. Every bump pushed his cock farther in me. My ass didn’t hurt much now but, I felt a lot of pressure on my insides. My weight forcing down and the speed bumps slamming me on his cock must have pushed the bum over the edge. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down hard on his cock. I felt his cock drive deeper than ever and I felt his course hair rub against my ass. He was all the way inside me. My stomach felt like I had been punched in it. He grunted as he came in my ass and then he released me. I was too weak to lift myself off his cock and just sat there impale by his big cock.
Jack reached over and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me towards him. The bum’s cock was yanked out of my ass and Jack said “Funs over get the fuck out dirt bag. Get the fuck out.” The bum never said a word and just stuffed his cock into his pants and opened the truck door. As soon as he was out Jack sped off. He looked at me and said “What a slut you turned out to be. Time to go home sissy.”

Should I post this? maybe not. Will I post this? I am still not sure if I will. I should give you a little background about me so please stick with me. I am Karen and I am 24 years old. I am just under 5 foot tall very slim with almost no breasts at all, I don't have to wear a bra they are that small. I am a natural red head with the temper to match. Until this confession I was a virgin. I was never popular growing up and never had many friends. I never even masturbated to orgasm till I was 18. OK my confession starts on December 31st last year. My boss invited me to her new year party. She has always been kind to me but the invite was a bit of a shock, I almost didn't go. I am so glad I did though because my life would have carried on the same boring path.

I bought a nice black derss for the party with matching black lace underwear and a pair of killer heels that rose me up over five foot tall. I got my hair done too cost me almost £100 but in the end the I loved the whole look. I got to the party quite early, bang on 8pm and it was just me, my boss and her husband. She wasn't surprised to see me there early as I am always early for work too. Now my boss (Susan) is 42 years old but looks a lot younger, her breasts unlike mine were very big and since I was early she wasn't quite ready and only had her bath robe on. What was really funny was, her husband (Mark) had not heard me coming in and walked into the room totally naked. He was the first man I had ever seen naked in real life, I froze but he didn't bother at all, he just said sorry and left. Susan laughed as she saw my face, she said don't worry as he was a show off. She said I should come and help her get ready as her dress was a bit tight and she needed help getting it on. She took me to her room and again there was Mark still naked on the bed, she dropped her robe, and I was very aware of being in a room with 2 naked people. She told Mark to get out and I watched him go, his cock was very big. She grabbed her dress and turned towards me, the first thing I notched was she was totally shaved, she asked if I was OK? and laughed. It was then I noticed I was getting very wet. She pulled the dress on and she was right it was very tight and I could hardly get the zip up, she ahd put a bra on but I noticed she didn't bother with panties. Her breasts were trying to escape and she asked me if she looked OK? I told her she tooked amazing.
Some more of her friends arrived and I noticed I was the only person from work there. All were couples except one boy James. Susan introduced him to me and the look on her face told me she had brought me there for him. It was a little later she asked if I liked him? I said he was nice and she said good and added he is single. I was a little more relaxed by then but drinking wine always relaxed me. It came to midnight and I was standing with James when the new year came in. He turned to me and before I could do anything her grabbed me and kissed me. Not the usual new year kiss, his tongue pushed its way into my mouth, It took me a second but gave in and let him kiss me. I lost myself in that kiss and I have no idea how long we kissed but when we stopped everyone was looking at us. Susan came up and gave me a new year kiss and whispered into my ear that we could use her room if needed.
It was around 2am I was a little drunk and James and I had been kissing a lot, he took my hand and led me upstairs. I fell back on Susans bed and he got on top of me and kissed me again this time his hand was under my dress. I stopped him and told him I was a virgin. I thought that may scare him off but he said he would be gentle with me. I stood up and he unzipped my dress and it fell to the floor, he undid my bra and since it was padded I said "I hope you are not disapointed with the size" he smiled and kissed both nipples. Then he pulled my panties off and I stood naked in front of him, he was the first boy ever to see me naked and I was shocked at just how relaxed I was. It took him seconds to get naked and I was on my back on the bed. Now yes I was a virgin but I had been using a vibrator on myself for 3 years. I opened my legs and felt the tip of his cock at my pussy, then he pushed it in. He fucked me for how long I have no Idea but it felt great and I was in heaven. I felt him get faster and then he exploded inside me, It was then I looked up and saw Susan watching. He got off me and I was lying there feeling exhausted and satisfyed. Susan came over and sat on the bed. Then without warning she touched my pussy, her finger went deep inside me and she pulled it out covered in my juice and James cum, she licked it clean. I had no idea what to do or say. James kissed me and I felt her finger inside me again, his kiss kept me busy as she fingered me then her finger was gon and I looked up and saw her leave. James was hard again and this time he took me from behind and as he fucked me his finger went in my ass, I know I screamed at that point but he kept doing it. Again he shot his cum inside me. I fell forward onto the bed and just lay there. He got beside me and cuddled me. I must have fallen asleep then because the next I knew it was morning. James was still beside me and I reached down and put my hand round his cock, it reacted right away and got hard. He woke up and kissed me, I said I had to pee and got up and walked to the door, I was still naked and knew the bathroom was just across the hall. I made the short dash and got in the toilet, I sat down and my god I thought it would never stop. I never locked the door and in walked Mark, naked, he said sorry and shut the door. I finished and opened the door for that short dash again. Mark was still there smiling. I still don't know why but I just walked out letting him see me. He asked hif James had satisfyed me and as I walked away he said I had a nice bush. I got back to James and he was on the bed his cock still rock hard. He told me to get on top and I did as he asked, the feeling of his cock going it that was was the best, I bounced up and down and once again he shot inside me, this time when I got off he asked me to lick his cock clean, I did as asked and was on the bed with my ass in the air.
We talked for a while and I asked him if we could keep seeing each other. He said we could but he only wanted sex not a girlfriend. I was a little sad at that but said that was OK because now that I had finally done it, I wanted more, lots more. He kissed me and said he had to go, leaving me alone in Susans bed. A short time later Susan came up wearing a robe and asked if I had a good time? I told her I had then it came back to me what she did to me last night. She took off her robe and got in the bed beside me naked. She asked if I minded her touching me last night? I said I didn't mind but was a little shocked. She leaned over and kissed me her hand went right to my pussy and slid right in. She moved down and her mouth was on my pussy licking and her teeth gently biting my clit, I was shocked and happy both at the same time, her tongue was doing things I never thought possible and for the first time in my life another person made me cum. She took my hand and said to come down stairs, and as we walked down the staires I saw there was still a few people from the party still there, everyone was naked and I saw Mark getting his cock suck by another man and it took me a second to see it was James. 3 women were playing with each other and Susan gave my hand to an older man, I had met him the night before but never knew his name, he said nothing but turned me round and bent me over his cock going inside me in one smooth motion, Susan sat down on a chair in front of me and they way he was fucking me it pushed my face almost into her pussy, then he moved me so it did. I kissed her as he fucked me then my tongue took on a life of its own and I licked her, He shot his cum inside me and pulled out then I felt another cock go in again after he cum another cock took his place, my face still at Susans pussy as every man fucked me, I think a few took me more than once but I cant be sure. I was exhaused more than I had ever been before. I lay on the floor unable to move, one of the women was between my legs licking me I could do nothing but lay there and let her. Mark picked me up and put me on the couch he turned me over and I felt him rub something into my bum then I got the shock of my life, his cock was at my bum pushing its way in, I screamed and tried to say no, but one of the women kissed me, Mark pushed it in and slow at first started to fuck my bum, god it hurt but not as much as it did when it first went in. He gently fucked my bum the pain getting less and less. I kissed the woman back grabbing onto the couch, he didn't cum in my ass but when he pulled out it felt nice. I lay on the couch watching others fuck and James came upto me and kissed me and asked if I was OK? To my own surprise I was, totally knackerd but OK. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up I had a cover over me and everyone was gone except Susan, she was still naked and was watching what I thought was porn on her PC but it was only after I got a close look that I saw it was me getting fucked in the bum by Mark. She said hi and then told me that even though she had filmed it, the movies never go public, ever.
She poured me a glass of wine and I noticed the time, it was 4pm, I called my parents just to let them know I was OK and was staying at Susans that night also. I also noticed I was starving and Susan cooked us some dinner, I asked where everyone was and she told me they had all gone to the pub and Mark would be back soon. I was aware I was still naked but it felt very natural and since I had no idea where my dress was didn't give it another thought.
Mark came back a little later and as soon as he got in the house he got naked, Susan had told me that they almost never wore anything at home. he kissed Susan and then me and asked how my bum was? I told him it was a little sore but OK. His cock was getting hard and I grabbed it and he pushed my head down towards it and I took him in my mouth. I licked the tip pulling his foreskin back exposing the head of it. He didn't cum and he led me up to their bed, Susan came with us and we fucked and licked for ages.

Susan drove me home the next morning and the following day I was back at work. Susan treated me the same as she always did but that night I went home with her again. This kept happening, sometimes it was just her sometimes her and Mark, but a lot of the time there was others there too. I fucked anyone who was there, I had gone from innocent virgin to total slut. James would come at least once a week and we became quite close, maybe because he was the only one there my age maybe because I really liked him and I started seeing him away from Susans too, it would always end with sex and he introduced me to sex in public, we got caught more than once but that was part of the thril.
I moved into Susans house last month, something my parents still don't understand but they think I am renting a room from them, maybe I am but I pay for it with sex. James all but lives here too now
To the outside world I am inoocent office worker but in private I am a wild slut

I hope you like my confession believe it or not I don't care I did this for me but if you cum to it thats good too

This fantasy is told as me telling my SIL what will happen to her

Fantasy Story: Blackmailing my prim sister-in-law

Julie
Me: This is how I want to see you dressed for your fucking tomorrow ok? Don't forget I saw everything and I will tell John (husband)if you don't do as your told
Me : You must wear very short skirts and high heels when ever we meet or you are completing a task.
Do you understand Julie, WELL do you!
J : yes yes my god! ok I will wear short mini skirts with high heels
Me: make sure it's very very short with very high heels
J : yeh ok i will but I need to go and buy some today.
Me: send me pics of you trying it on
J: yeh, ok
S: I will give you tasks to perform which you must complete. They will all be sexual and photos must be provided as proof.
Task 1 - find a male from anywhere you like and suck him off and tell Him to cum on your face.
S You get off the bus at green street and walk to the village dressed like a whore.
I will be watching you, your "cum fuck me heels" clicking on the ground with each step making your very short tight skirt rise up forcing you to keep pulling it down to avoid showing your arse and cunt.
I will be in the car my cock in hand stroking the full length ready for shooting my cum into your mouth. As soon as you get there sit in the car facing the door and open your mouth wide and do not close until the last drop off spunk splashes on Your tongue. Now you will swallow, I want you gagging Julie as the thick gooey cum slides down your throat into your belly.
J: Oh my god!
Me: this is nothing Julie, by the time I have finished you will be like a rag doll.
Next I will slide your red knickers down your long legs and over your heels, you won't be needing them. I then crudely stuff 3 fingers up your cunt getting them in as far as I can, then I will jam another finger in and I jam then in and then pull out, jam in, pull out, as I finger fuck your cunt as hard and fast as I can.
Me: You have a nice cunt Julie, then you tell me how juicy it is and how much you want to be fucked, make sure it's filthy
J: my cunt is so fucking wet. I love you jamming them fucking fingers in my cunt, I cnt wait until you are fucking me and filling my cunt mouth and arse full of spunk.
Me: I'm going to fuck you in the hotel so you get in the car your little skirt riding up your thighs until your cunt is on show. Now as I am driving I want you to put your feet on the dash and spread your sexy long legs really wide and start stuffing your fingers in and out of your cunt. I am going to drive past your House where you will lift up your cunt and finger yourselves hard fast where anyone who looks will see you. What a fucking slut Julie is they will say.

To be finished , What next??? Please comment

When you give them a tip like this, your packages never go missing and your door dash is never late

I confess that tonight I had the worst sexual experience of my life. This is the type of shit that happens in American Pie films and I really didn�t think could ever happen to me. After spilling all of this out on paper I realized it is fairly long winded and I can�t be bothered checking for mistakes, so I�m sorry if there is any, plus I have put a quick summary at the bottom for all those who can�t be bothered reading.

I recently started dating this really cute girl. She is rather stuck up and spoilt, but is fairly hot, so I thought I would give it a shot with her. Problem is, she is a virgin, so progress has been fairly steady as she wants to make sure she loses her virginity to the right guy.

She invited me around to her house today to meet her folks for the first time and text me earlier today to bring protection as she had a treat for me. I thought, sweet, I get to fuck her. I go to the shop and make a purchase of those numbing rubbers (I have only had sex twice, and for some reason thought it was a good idea to last for ages on her first time.) Anyway, so I rock up, meet the parents, sit down for a civilised lunch and then go upstairs for the magic to happen. Only when we get there, she tells me to not shut the door as her parents don�t like her to have guys in her room while to door is shut. To make matters worse her Dad comes upstairs while I�m perched on the end of her bed and goes into his room right next door to us, turns on the TV and starts laughing like I have never heard anyone laugh before to a show on the box. To make matters worse, her room is right opposite the bathroom and none of the doors are closed, so I thought, if he gets up and goes to the bathroom, he is going to walk across his daughter getting broken in for the first time.

Then I thought, maybe I got it wrong and maybe she didn�t mean we would have sex, or maybe she didn�t expect her Dad to be in the next room. But sure enough, she flicks on the tv, sits next to me and whispers in my ear �you bring the condom?� I tell her yes and she tells me to put it on. Right now I�m freaking out, but don�t want to pass up on this opportunity to fuck this girl, so whip out my dick and start stroking it. She watches me for a bit and then tells me to put the rubber on, but I tell her I have to be hard first. She tells me I can feel her tits to get hard, but only over her shirt. By now I just go with it, but think it is a bit weird she won�t let me feel under her shirt if I�m about to stick my dick in her pussy. I awkwardly feel her tits until I�m hard and slip the condom on.

Once I�m bagged up she gets on the floor and, as I�m sat on her bed, begins to suck on my condom covered dick. It is hard to call what she gave me, as it didn�t seem like any blowjob I have ever heard of. She didn�t even fit the whole of my head in her mouth, just kind of sat there, completely still with the tip of it in there while she gave me the weakest handjob I could have imagined. With the condom on I couldn�t even feel anything. Probably about 3 minutes go by with me pretending to be thrilled until she says �am I going to make you cum?� I just told her yes and to keep going, realizing that if she expects me to cum, she probably doesn�t expect sex from me. Due to the sound of her Dad, her awful skills and the numbing condom, I decide I�m never going to get off and just fake an orgasm. I whip the condom off and tuck my hard-on back into my pants and ask her what she wants doing with it, she tells me to flush it down the toilet.

I go into her bathroom and lock the door. What happened next... I am not proud of... and it makes me cringe to think about this, but I decided to skirt some suntan lotion I saw on the side into the condom. I don�t know why, as no one would have seen it once it was down the crapper, but I did it in a moment that I will from now on refer to as the stupidest moment of my life. I throw the rubber into the toilet and flush, but sure enough it just bobs back up, I have to wait a minute until I can flush again, but it doesn�t go down, third time isn�t lucky and her dad knocks on the door and asks if I am alright. I panic, fish to condom out and drop it into the waste bin next to the toilet and leave. I tell the girl that it wouldn�t go, and she freaks and tells me to get rid of it as her Mom disposes the trash. I go back into the bathroom and grab it out of the bin, then fling it out of the window. I look down into their backyard and realize it hasn�t gone much of a distance and has landed right on top of a hedge in the garden which makes it easily visible to anyone looking out of the bathroom window. I think about going to get it, but I decide I�m just going to make a dash. Thank her parents for their hospitality, say goodbye to the girl and then leave in a hurry.

Still trying to wrap my head around it. I can deduce two things... what should I do?

1. She was fine with the possibility of her Dad catching her, she is a bit kinky. She sucked my dick, obviously likes me and will probably let me fuck her soon. I�m not going to get anyone hotter than her any time soon. She�s a keeper.

2. She is a freak who leaves her door open. It will be hard to fuck her with her parents around, so I got to get her to mine. She is pretty rubbish and inexperienced sexually. Her Dad will probably beat my ass to a pulp when he sees the condom on his hedge. Ditch the bitch.

Summary: Met hot girl > Went to hers and she gave me an awful blowie > Decided to fill a condom with lotion and flung it onto her garden hedge > Carry on going for that pot of gold or ditch and run?

ROUND THREE / UNEXPECTED DAY THREE

Continuation of my Minnesota adventure: May 2024 [another very long post]

To recap:
I was visiting T, my 52-year-old long-time red-haired FWB, for the first time since October 2021. In the interim, she’d had major female surgery, put on some unwanted weight due to the anti-depressant meds she’d been taking (although she still looked amazing to me), and dumped a 20-y/o lover because “he came too fast, didn’t have a decent job, and couldn’t eat pussy to save his life.” I’d made the drive from Denver to her small town, located a couple of hours southwest of the Twin Cities, with the intent of doing what we always did. That involved catching up on news since the last time we were together, taking in concerts, museums and other attractions while spending the weekend in the Twin Cities, and having sex – lots and lots of sex.

I woke up around 7:30 Tuesday morning, following another three-hour fuck session that had wrapped up around two a.m. Because T babysits her two-year-old grandson every weekday afternoon, I had only planned to sleep over for two nights and then come back for her on Friday. She was dead asleep alongside me, with the covers pulled up over her head, so I left her alone and got dressed in the living room. Her car, a Ford Focus, had been running on fumes the previous evening, so I filled it up at the nearest gas station and then stopped off at a drive-thru for a bagel. Culinary note: I asked for the bagel to be toasted, with cream cheese on the side. Who the fuck toasts a bagel without slicing it first??? Sheesh.

Anyway, I returned to her place and was having my breakfast when T came out of the bedroom and plopped down beside me. I noticed she’d put on yoga pants and a loose-fitting sweatshirt, which clearly indicated she was officially "not in the mood." She is NOT a morning person, and that includes morning sex. I offered her half my bagel, which she declined. She’s also not a breakfast person. “Are you sure you want to leave today?” T asked. “I thought we settled that on Sunday,” I replied. “I’ll be back Friday afternoon and we’ll spend the weekend in St. Paul.” She gave me one of those inscrutable looks that leave guys like me clueless. “Well, Donna is coming over for dinner. We do this every few weeks and, besides, she wants to meet you.”

Donna was one of T’s former coworkers, a tall Nordic blonde who’d succumbed to T’s bisexual charms during a blizzard in February and was apparently still infatuated with my red-haired Viking princess. “You can leave if you want,” T teased, “but you’ll miss out on a fun dinner.” Something told me that dinner wasn’t the only thing I’d miss by heading north, so I agreed to delay my drive by a day. Hey – I may be clueless when it comes to women, but I like to think I’m not an idiot!

We spent most of the day pretty much the same as on Monday, watching TV, reading, and having light-hearted conversation. After homemade bean burritos for lunch, I agreed to help her sort through her massive clothes collection that took up most of a second bedroom. It was a claustrophobic environment dominated by two huge dressers her grandparents had left to her. Piles of clothes occupied every flat surface, but the drawers were nearly empty. Our task was to divide the wardrobe up into Donate and Keep. I suggested the latter category was likely to include “fits me now” and “I hope it’ll fit again someday.” That remark earned me a not-so-playful punch on my arm, followed immediately by an offer to “kiss and make it better.”

For about two hours, I pulled out articles of clothing as T passed judgment on each item’s future. It was really humid, even with the a/c running, so she'd changed into a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that had been cut down into shorts. Occasionally she felt compelled to try things on to see if they fit – some did, but many did not – which meant she was regularly showing me her tits while putting on blouses, and turning around to show off her lovely ass with each skirt or pair of pants we came across. There was hardly any floor space, so we were constantly bumping into each other. T was also being very tactile – stroking my arm, smacking me on the ass when I didn’t move out of her way fast enough, and delivering a series of random kisses. Finally, I got up the courage to ask about her behavior.

“You know,” I began apprehensively, “I can’t help but notice how affectionate you are. It’s like the old T has returned.” During past visits, she’d regularly initiated public displays of affection, but I never felt comfortable asking about this behavior – mostly because I didn’t want it to stop. “Why now; why me?” She froze with her hand halfway reaching for a hanger and turned to face me. “You really want to know?” she asked quietly. “Always,” I said. “I used to behave like this a lot, because I’m an affectionate person, but my actions kept getting taken the wrong way. Nearly every guy I’ve been with assumed I was coming on to them sexually, as in, I wanted to fuck them right then and there. You, on the other hand, never give me that vibe, because I know you truly care about me as a person, not just some sex object.”

I must have had a weird look on my face while trying to process what she’d said, because she stepped over the huge pile of clothes still on the floor and bumped up against me, wrapping her arms around my neck and planting a seriously hard kiss on my mouth. The phrase, “You know I adore you,” escaped my lips before I could even think about what I was saying. In return, T took half a step back and countered with, “Well, if you must know, I really DO want to fuck you, but that’ll have to wait because it’s almost time for me to go be with my grandson.” With that she giggled, pushed past me to climb out of the room, and called back in my direction as she was putting on her sneakers, “I’m watching him over at their place, because I don’t want to inflict him on you two days in a row. I’ll be back around 4:30.” And with that, she departed.

At 5:00 there was a knock on the door, so I hopped off the couch and went to answer it. T had previously texted me to say she wouldn’t be home until six o’clock but offered no further details. I opened up to greet a tall, slender woman with close-cropped blonde hair and a narrow face, carrying a grocery bag in each hand. I said, “You must be Donna,” at the same moment she said, “You must be Zac,” and we both laughed. I grabbed the bags out of her hands and took them straight to the kitchen. Since T lives in a double-wide trailer (err, “manufactured”) home, the counter was a mere three steps away. I explained that T was running late, and Donna countered with, “Yeah, she called to tell me that while I was at the Hy-Vee (the local supermarket), so I should just get dinner ready without her.” I offered to act as a backup chef, so we both did food prep. The menu included cucumber salad with onion, sliced tomatoes drizzled with olive oil, beer cheese soup, a baguette of French bread, and strawberry ice cream for dessert.

As we worked, we chatted amiably. I was curious about T’s experiences while working alongside Donna, and she confirmed that the stories I’d heard about harassment were true. “She just seems to attract asshole guys,” Donna said with conviction. Then, as she realized what she’d said, added, “Well, not you, obviously.” I laughed and countered with, “The jury might still be out on that one,” but she was quick to disagree. “Oh, no. T says you’re the sweetest guy. She told me you filled up her tank yesterday.” I couldn’t resist the double entendre. “You mean her car’s gas tank, right?” Donna burst out laughing. “Yeah – that, too.”

But before we could delve into additional semi-smutty talk, T returned and gave Donna a big hug and kiss. “Did you rope Zac into helping you with dinner?” she asked. “He volunteered and did a great job cutting up the vegetables,” she replied. I’d suggested we do the salad Hungarian style, dressed with sour cream, vinegar, and a dash of paprika. Lacking a dining table, we took our plates and bowls to the living room – five steps from the kitchen (!!) – and ate at the coffee table. I parked myself on T’s leather recliner, while the ladies sat on the couch.

After dessert, I gathered up the dishes and offered to do clean-up, to which there were no objections! While I was washing, drying and putting things away, T dragged out her cannabis paraphernalia and the two of them were soon “dabbing away.” Donna asked if they should save some for me, but T put the kibosh on that. “He’s got too much of a tolerance for pot,” T explained. “We split a tube Sunday night, and he didn’t even get high. I don’t think it affected him at all.” I chimed in with, “Well, it made me horny.” T responded with a laugh. “Geez, Zac, you’re hornier than any guy I know, so it clearly wasn’t the pot talking.” Naturally, Donna had to come back with, “So, how horny was he?” There was some whispering that followed between the two of them, and I was too far away to hear the conversation, except for the part where Donna said out loud, “How many times?” and then followed with “Oh, my god.”

I wrapped up my KP duties and started back toward my seat when T piped up with a request. “Zac, honey – can you go pick up something for us to drink? We’re too wasted to drive.” I reminded her we still had that Smirnoff swill from the night before, but T said, “Oh, I poured that out. It wasn’t very good.” That was the understatement of the week! Donna suggested a bottle of wine so, after a brief discussion of white versus red, they agreed “red” was the best choice. I grabbed my car keys and left the two of them puffing away on the couch.

The same woman who’d helped us the previous evening was back behind the counter. “How was that Smirnoff?” she asked. “Looking for another bottle?” [That's the issue with small towns; everyone knows your business!] I told her it was the worst stuff I’d tasted since that shot of vodka I’d sampled in a Bratislava grocery store decades earlier. That got a laugh out of her, and we chatted for about ten minutes about our respective overseas adventures, until I suddenly remembered why I was there. Two minutes and $15 later, I was on my way back to T’s place with what was reportedly a halfway decent bottle of California Cabernet.

As I walked into her place, the lights were off and no one was up front. I set the bottle down and slowly felt my way forward. The bedroom door was closed, and the rest of the place was nearly pitch-black. Because of the harsh Minnesota winters and the lack of decent insulation in her place, T keeps all the windows blocked year-round, because “it’s too much trouble to always be redoing them.” It’s like a goddamned cave in there; you can’t tell whether it’s day or night without opening the door and looking outside. I had my hands outstretched to aid in moving ahead, but thankfully it’s a very narrow hallway with no obstacles. I put my ear to the bedroom door but couldn’t make out any sounds. I thought about calling out, but instead I retraced my steps to the living room, stripped down to just my boxer briefs, and returned to where I’d just been standing.

As quietly as I could, I twisted the door handle and pulled the bedroom door open. The first thing I noticed was a pile of women’s clothes lying on the floor. Peeking around the corner, I saw two naked women erotically positioned and illuminated by the dim bedside lamp at the far side of the room. T was lying on her back, her thighs spread wide and the fingers of her left hand making slow circles around her clit. Donna was sitting on T’s face, grinding away, while the palms of her hands were pressed flat against the bedroom wall, since T’s double bed has no headboard. Neither woman was being particularly vocal – Donna was breathing hard, but quietly, whereas whatever sounds T was making were being directed straight into Donna’s vagina. I took off my boxers and began to stroke my cock, which was quickly at attention.

I was being quiet, but Donna turned her head and caught me out of the corner of her eye as I was standing at the side of the bed with my cock in my hand. “Guess—who’s—back?” Donna managed to announce, in between gasps for air. T mumbled something that I couldn’t understand, but Donna was apparently skilled at interpreting mouth-to-pussy speech. “She wants you to go down on her,” Donna translated, so I wasted no time climbing onto the bed and hopping to it. I pushed T’s hand aside and wrapped my lips around her little button-clit. I sucked on it hard, which really sets her off, and then I shoved two fingers deep into her pussy.

Eighteen months earlier, when T had the first of two back-to-back vaginal surgeries, she was worried they would affect her “pleasure parts,” as she called them. But for the past two nights, I was a witness that she was as orgasmic as she’d ever been. Meanwhile, Donna was raking her crotch up and down T’s mouth, and I looked up just as T took the hand she’d been using on her clit and stuck her middle finger deep into Donna’s ass. “Well, that’s an interesting turn of events,” I thought to myself. T was not a fan of anal play on herself, although she occasionally enjoyed it when I moistened my index finger and rimmed her butthole while simultaneously circling her clit with my tongue. She calls it “the double roundabout.” This was the first time I’d seen her finger-fuck another woman in the ass, although she’s never been shy about pounding a girlfriend’s other hole with her fingers. It didn’t take long for me to get T bucking and moaning, and I stayed with it until she exploded into a thigh-quivering orgasm.

After lifting myself up to catch a breath, I decided not to continue with more cunnilingus but instead mounted T, shoving my cock into her ultra-moist pussy. She made a half-hearted effort to push me away, but my 225 pounds was no match for her 140, so I stayed put. With Donna’s firm ass staring me in the face – she hadn’t dismounted from T’s face, despite already having had at least one orgasm – I balanced precariously on top of T and used my hands to grip Donna’s buttocks and spread them apart. Seconds later, she had the experience of two tongues on her, with one at each hole.

T mumbled something, with Donna apparently understanding her query, because she replied, “He’s got his tongue in my ass.” I sure did! But while focusing my attention on the shapely tush in front of me, I’d stopped fucking T and simply left my cock motionless, albeit balls-deep in her pussy. She seemed miffed by this lack of attention, because she responded by wrapping her legs around my thighs and humping up against me, fighting to attain yet another orgasm. Donna came with a grunt and a shudder, moaned, “Ohhhh, gawd!” and rolled off T’s face to collapse on the far side of the bed. Unfortunately, her unexpected dismount caused her knee to smack against the side of my head, and I think I might have lost consciousness for a few seconds. When I regained my senses, I’d rolled off T, having ended up on the same side of the bed where Donna had landed.

“Are you OK?” Donna asked, with concern in her voice. “Did I hurt you?” I pressed my hand to the spot where her knee had made contact with my skull. “No blood, no foul, I guess,” was my flippant reply, which was enough to elicit a hearty laugh from both women. It seemed like a good time to take a break, so I slid down to lie across the bottom edge of the mattress and laid my head on my outstretched arm. T said, “I think we could all use a drink,” and for once, I agreed that was a good idea. She climbed off the bed and slipped quickly into the kitchen, where we could hear her cursing because she couldn’t immediately find a corkscrew. I was torn between remaining in the bedroom and watching Donna play with her clit, which she was doing absent-mindedly, and following T into the kitchen to lend a hand with the wine. With the cry, “Zac – come here. I need you,” the decision was made for me.

I found T leaning back against the sink, the wine bottle in one hand and a fairly elaborate corkscrew device in the other. “I think I’m too high to figure this out,” she admitted, so I relieved her of both items and managed to extract the cork without damaging my hand, or my male ego. T looked absolutely delicious, nude with her pale pink nipples at full attention, her flushed skin accentuating the freckles on her chest, her red triangle down below curly and enticing, and the tang of pussy juice in the air. We stood there, wordlessly, for a few seconds – each checking out the other person’s body – until she reached out and wrapped her hand around my semi-tumescent cock. Then, she uttered a sentence any red-blooded male would love to hear in that situation: “I want to watch you fuck Donna, and then I’ll clean you both up.”

She and I have performed this act before, but the last time was pre-COVID. Back in 2019, while spending a fuck-filled four-day weekend in a St. Paul Airbnb, she’d picked up a waitress at the neighborhood pastry shop. We’d gone there for breakfast two days in a row, where during each visit T got more and more flirty with the young woman behind the counter. On Day Three, after telling me to pay the bill and then scram, she somehow talked Simone into coming over to our place once her shift ended at noon. Awaiting her arrival, T told me Simone was only interested in girl-on-girl sex, which was OK with me. And true to her word, Simone showed up on time, stripped off her clothes, and dove into T’s pussy as if she hadn’t had sex in months – which turned out to be the case. I sat on the sidelines, stroking and watching, as they both worked each other into multiple orgasmic frenzies. Taking a break, T said to Simone, “I’m thinking about sucking Zac’s cock, because I love the taste of his cum, but I’d like it even better if it came dripping out of your pussy.” Simone seemed more than a bit skeptical, until T told her that I’d do her doggy-style so she didn’t have to see me fucking her, and that I’d do my best to ejaculate quickly. Given the stroke job I’d been doing on myself the previous 30 minutes, that last part wasn’t going to be a problem. Simone agreed, somewhat reluctantly, and I took her from behind – a deliciously tight 22-year-old pussy that needed only half a dozen pumps to get blasted. T fulfilled her part of the bargain and even managed to make Simone orgasm one last time as my man-jizz ended up all over T’s face and then down her throat.

On this evening, however, there was no reluctant acceptance on Donna’s part. I carried three full wine glasses into the bedroom, distributed them accordingly, and then T announced the next stage in our hours-long fuck-fest. As soon as T explained what she wanted us to do, Donna and I looked at each other and asked, nearly simultaneously, “How do you want me?” That got all three of us laughing, but T had her own idea. “Do her missionary, Zac, so the cum won’t leak out before I gobble it up.” Thankfully I wasn’t drinking from my wineglass at that moment, because I would have probably done a spit-take onto her lovely striped cotton sheets. Instead, I drained the last of the liquid and handed my glass to T, who set it down on the nightstand closest to the bedroom door. Then I dove forward to shove my face into Donna’s crotch.

I’d caught her by surprise, but she didn’t voice a single objection, instead sliding her butt forward so she could lie flat on the bed. I tongued her slit for a minute or two – she tasted really good – and then hopped up onto my knees and guided my dick into her pussy hole. Donna reached up and pushed against my shoulders. I thought she was doing that to get me off her, but she only wanted to create enough room to pull her knees up and press them against my chest. This was actually a very effective fucking position for me, because her legs acted as a sort of spring against which I could thrust and retract. She supplied at least half of the motion, and I was able to hang onto her knees for leverage instead of having to use my arms to bear the weight of my body.

We built up a good rhythm, with lots of heavy breathing on both our parts. Meanwhile, T was sitting cross-legged on her side of the bed, finger-fucking herself with an in-and-out motion that matched my own pussy pounding. Just as T said to Donna, “Don’t be surprised, but he sometimes takes a while to come,” I froze on the downstroke as my cock pumped three or four streams of cum deep into Donna’s pussy. All she said was, “Done?” and when I could only nod my head, she used her legs to push me off her while holding her ass up off the bed. T swooped in and dove for the gusto, first licking up the drops of cum that had dripped off my cock as I withdrew, and then using her fingers to dig deep for the rest of the load.

I managed to stand up at the foot of the bed, knees sagging a bit against the edge of the mattress to maintain my balance. T was really slurping up what I’d left for her, and I jacked my dick a bit as I watched. Having completed her task on Donna, T spun around and licked me clean. “Fuck, that was fun!” she exclaimed, and then guzzled down the rest of the wine in her glass.

We’d easily passed the three-hour mark, and I was exhausted. The ladies climbed off the bed and headed to the bathroom, while I flopped down onto the mattress with the aim of slipping off to dreamland. T had other ideas, however. “Hey,” she called out, which awakened me from my near-slumber. “Donna’s staying over, so you’ll have to camp out on the couch.” I began to object, but my argument fell on deaf ears. “There’s just no room, Zac. Sorry. You’ll find an extra pillow and a blanket in the room where my clothes are.” I passed Donna on my way down the hall, pillow and blanket in hand. She’d stopped off in the kitchen for a glass of water and patted me on the ass while I was setting things up on the couch. I straightened up and gave her a kiss on the cheek, but she put her hand gently on the side of my face – coincidentally, the same side where she’d kneed me earlier – and gave me a deep kiss on the lips. “I’ll see you in the morning, OK?” she whispered. I thanked her for an amazingly fun time, which got a shy smile from her before she returned to the bedroom and closed the door.

I’m sure I fell asleep within minutes of stretching out on the couch. At six-foot-zero, I had just enough room to lie on my side (my preferred sleeping position) with my knees slightly bent. Even so, my head was pressed against one arm of the couch, and my feet rested up against the other one. Many hours later – I had no idea of the time, since the windows were blocked and my iPhone was in the other room – I was awakened by something stroking my lower leg. Forgetting where I was for a moment, I imagined it was my cat, Jemima, since she rubs up against me every morning as if to say, “Hey, human. It’s time for my breakfast.” So, when I opened my eyes to see Donna perched on the edge of the couch, as naked as she’d been the night before, I regained full consciousness damned quickly.
She put her finger to her lips and motioned for me to slide over. As skinny as she was, there was still hardly any room to accommodate her lying next to me, so she ended up mostly on top, one knee between my legs, her well-trimmed crotch pressed against my hip, her breasts against my chest, and her mouth a mere inch from mine. “I know T isn’t into morning sex,” Donna said in a very low voice, “but I hear you’re quite the fan, right?” I agreed and lifted my head up so I could give her a good-morning kiss. She slipped her tongue into my mouth while reaching down and wrapping her fingers around my rapidly rising cock. “Mmm, morning wood is the best wood, don’t you agree?” she teased. She squeezed me gently, and we continued to make out as she ground her pussy against my hip bone. Once she determined I was sufficiently erect, Donna threw her leg across my body and straddled me effortlessly. “You were on top last night, so now it’s my turn,” she said. Before I could object – not that it even occurred to me to do so – she had my cock all the way inside her pussy and was rocking back and forth on it with gusto. I reached up and tugged on her small nipples, which were like rock-hard cherries, and she worked her way into two very quick and enthusiastic orgasms.
Donna climbed off after her second orgasm but recognized I hadn’t had one. She teased me a bit with her tongue on the very tip of my cock, pushing my hands away as I tried (unsuccessfully) to engage her mouth more fully. “Be a good boy and put your hands behind your head,” she instructed, “or else I’ll leave you to take matters into your own hands.” At my age, I wasn’t sure how much cum I could muster, given the prodigious amount I’d pumped into her pussy just six or seven hours earlier, but any blow job was better than no blow job. [I think I read that saying needlepointed on a pillow, once.] Donna continued to tease my twitching cock, using only her tongue and resting her hands on either side of my body for balance. She must have toyed with me like this for 10 or 15 minutes before finally relenting and taking my dick all the way into her mouth. Her tongue action continued to be amazing as she bobbed her head up and down only slightly. Still, it was enough of a turn-on for me that I managed to ooze out a bit of cum as I orgasmed. Donna gave me a pretty smile, climbed off the couch, and said she was heading to the shower. “You could probably use one, too,” she insisted, so I joined her under a thin stream of warm water and soaped up her body as she returned the favor. We didn’t get into anything more sexual, but I truly enjoyed the mutual contact.

T climbed out of her bedroom about an hour later, already dressed for the day in a t-shirt and yoga pants. Donna and I were sitting on the couch, a respectable distance away from each other, as we watched a local TV news show. T greeted each of us with a kiss and then went into the kitchen to brew herself a cup of tea. Upon her return, she squeezed in between us and stretched out her legs so her feet rested on the coffee table. Looking at each of us in turn, she asked, “So, did you two have a nice morning fuck?” Before either of us could answer, though, she leaned over and kissed Donna on the mouth. “Thanks for taking one for the team,” she giggled. “You know I’m not into pre-noon dick.” I shot back, “I guess I'll set my alarm for 12:05 then.” T stuck out her tongue at me and said, “You’re leaving for St. Paul as soon as you get packed, and Donna will help me with my clothing once you leave.”

After that comeback, I had nothing more to say, so I placed my pjs and my shaving kit into my suitcase and headed for the door. T forestalled me as I passed through the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me in a sensuous hug. “I’ll see you on Friday, lover,” she breathed into my ear, and moments later I was in my car. My final, fleeting thought as I drove down Broadway toward the highway was, “Well, I think my tongue AND my cock can use the three-day break.”

A group of teens were partying by the beach and had decided to leave but their jeep was already past capacity. I had just pulled off the highway to text and could hear them yelling as to who was riding in the jeep. Suddenly my passenger door pops open and this cutie in a bikini asks where I'm heading. There's a couple guys and girls behind her all cheering her on to get a ride with me, obviously tipsy from beers on the beach. She's cute and so I say "where do you want to go?". She said a local golf course nearby as she had to work a tournament at one of the holes. It was a business game, basically a piss-up for guys and bikinis and beers at each hole.

I said ok and she jumped in. All her friends hooted and hollered and clambered back into the open jeep and took off. I took a second to look her up and down. She was a petite little thing, small breasts, super cute face with freckles. The thing that struck a nerve was this magnificent peach fuzz I saw along her body, like a little sexy cat.

I put the car in reverse and slowly backed up, and doing so reached across and touched her hair and innocently said "you do know that you have to pay for this ride right?"

"What do you mean?", she said furrowing her little freckled brow.

"I mean that I want something in return for driving you. Don't be scared honey I'm not going to hurt you, I just want you to stroke me cock as I drive. You don't want to be late for work do you?" Throwing the last part in brought her back to reality. "You can get out", I said, and stopped the car. "It's totally up to you."

She thought about it for a moment. Then another. I could see she was pissed off like a little princess that usually had boys happy to drive her around just to be near her. I liked that. Finally she said "Fine, I'll do it."

I said "great, let's go then", and unzipped my shorts and took out me semi-erect cock and put the car back on the highway. She tentatively reached across and lightly grabbed it. She stroked it gently and it grew to it's full size. I looked across and smiled. She gave me a "fuck you" look, but kept stroking gently. I'm not the biggest guy around but have a decent 7.5" cock. I asked her if she had seen one bigger than mine and she said "Yeah a guy on the football team has an enormous cock he likes to pull out at parties." I asked if she had ever done him and she said "No way, he's gross."

"What's the biggest cock you've ever had?", I asked. She looked away sheepishly. Flushed red a bit from the neck up.

"Yours is the biggest I've ever touched", she said. "I've only had sex with my boyfriend and his is a lot smaller and he's sensitive about it. Can we please not talk about this anymore, it's making me uncomfortable."

"Fine", I said. "So what's the job like at the tournament? Or should I say drunken golf fest, haha."

That got a smile from her, and she told me about how the guys come to the hole and they give out free beer, some cheap business giveaways, and the guys all ogle her and try to chat her up. Once in awhile they give her their business cards and ask her to call them for "special work", which she said was disgusting. I asked how much she was paid and she said $100 for the 4-5 hours of work.

All this time she is stroking my hard cock like a natural. I kept glancing at the cute little sweetie, her little curves and that damn peach fuzz I wanted to touch with my tongue.

"How would you like to double your wages for the day?", I said. She looked at me quizzically, then her eyes widened, as I had a huge grin on my face.

"What do you mean... exactly", she said. "I'm not a prostitute", she said haughtily.

"Well you're stroking my cock for a ride, but I'm sure you don't do it every day", I joked. "I'm just saying that we are here now, and I really think you're a hottie. I'm surprised that you were the last one left behind to begin with. I'm offering some easy cash if you want. Let's say an extra $50 if you take off your top." I grabbed my wallet and pulled out $50 and put it on the dash.

She looked at the cash. She looked at my wallet full of cash. Back to the cash on the dash.

She said "My friends come from privileged families and I'm often not able to hang with them, so they leave me behind most times." She looked down at her knees. Then she looked up and said "but I guess taking my top off is pretty easy and then I'd be able to stay for a drink after work with the rest." So she grabbed the $50 and stuck it in her handbag, then turned to me and said "I don't have much to look at, not sure why you are wasting your money", then proceeded to show me the cutest little puffy tits I had ever seen.

My cock had gone a little soft with her sob story, but jumped back to attention with the new attraction! She noticed and said something like I guess you like what you see.

I asked her what she made in a summer. She figured about 10 tournaments at $100 per plus tips sometimes, so maybe $1200. I said I had about $600 in my wallet, about half her summer's wages, and said "How would you like to earn half your wages in a day?"

Her eyes went wide again.

I confess I got off work about 15 minutes early, so I went to my favorite place to park so I could take down my pants and stroke my cock for a while. When I pulled in to the lot, there was a truck already parked there. I couldn't tell if he was already doing what I was planning on doing, or if he just decided to park there for a bit. I pulled up a couple car lengths in front of him and turned off my truck. After a few minutes, he put it in drive and started to pull away, so I figured, "Oh well..." Then he pulled in front of me and put it in park again. I put my truck in gear, rolled down my passenger window, and pulled up next to him. He rolled down his window and said, "Hey". Small talk for a minute, then I asked him if he was having fun, and he replied he was watching porn on his in-dash DVD player. I told him I had a few minutes, if he didn't mind the company. "I was hoping you wanted to join me. Hop on in."

He unlocked the passenger door and I got in the seat. He had pussed his seat back so he could enjoy the movie. The screen showed about 12-16 different scenes to pick from, so he picked a big-tittied girl giving head to a well hung guy. After a couple minutes, he asked me if I was ok with him stroking his cock. I said it wasn't a problem. He took out his cock and started stroking it while we watched the porno. I couldn't stand it any longer... I reached over with my left hand, took his cock in my hand, and started stroking it. He wasn't hard, but it was so hot feeling his semi-soft cock in my fist. I stroked him for a while, then he asked me if I liked to suck. I told him, yeah, but I don't swallow... I prefer to feel it running all over my hand and face. He leaned the seat back and said, ok.

He repositioned the mirrors so he could keep an eye out for any traffic, so I leaned over the center console, and took his cock all the way into my mouth. He was nice and clean, and still semi-soft, so I held my head down and just enjoyed his cock. Then, I started bobbing up and down on his cock while I listened and he watched the movie. After a couple minutes, he told me to watch while he masturbated. He finally got hard, so I leaned over and started sucking him again. He was maybe 6.5" long and kinda thick, so he filled my mouth nicely. I opened my throat and took him all the way in until my nose was buried in his pubic hair. As I gave him head, I played with his balls with my right hand. I could hear him moaning over the movie, so I knew he was enjoying it. Then I heard him say, "Oh gawd...", so I started stroking him with my right hand... and he came all over my hand and his shirt, shooting one good blast up to the collar. As we cleaned up, I asked him if he liked to park and stroke here, but he said it was his first time in this place, and I gather he wasn't from around here, so it was just a chance meeting. I was so hard, but I decided it was hotter if I just left him there and went on home so I could fuck my wife. I just finished filling her pussy up with my cum and decided to let you know what happened to me on my way home.

Life, the Universe & everything.

Quotes from Douglas Adams, one of the funniest guys that ever lived.

RIP 1952 - 2001.
So long, & thanks for all the books.

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realised there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.”

“Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.”

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

“God puts an apple tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden and says, do what you like guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha." It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it... because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end.”

“He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each.”

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”

“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”

“I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.”

“If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.”

“If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.”

“If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.”

"INFINITE: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that, in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real "wow, that's big" time. Infinity is so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.”

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”

“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.”

“It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.”

“It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made p******** should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

“It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.”

“Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.”

“Life is wasted on the living.”

“Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor, at least no one worth speaking of.”

“Many words and expressions which only a matter of decades ago were considered so distastefully explicit that, were they merely to be breathed in public, the perpetrator would be shunned, barred from polite society, and in extreme cases shot through the lungs, are now thought to be very healthy and proper, and their use in everyday speech and writing is evidence of a well-adjusted, relaxed and totally unfucked-up personality.”

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.”

“That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.”

“The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.”

“The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.”

“The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phase, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?”

“The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.”

“The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

“The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.”

“The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.”

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

“This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”

“Time is bunk.”

“Time, we know, is relative. You can travel light years through the stars and back, and if you do it at the speed of light then, when you return, you may have aged mere seconds while your twin brother or sister will have aged twenty, thirty, forty or however many years it is, depending on how far you traveled. This will come to you as a profound shock, particularly if you didn't know you had a twin brother or sister.”

“We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!”

“We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.”

“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”

“A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.”

“It's no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase "As pretty as an airport" appear.”

“If on the other hand he went to pay his respects to The Door and it wasn't there...what then?

The answer, of course, was very simple. He had a whole board of circuits for dealing with exactly this problem, in fact this was the very heart of his function. He would continue to believe in it whatever the facts turned out to be, what else was the meaning of belief? The Door would still be there, even if the Door was not.”

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."

“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea ...”

“Men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Spirits were brave, men boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. Thus was the Empire forged.”

“You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon

airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in

deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me

when I was young!

Why, what did she tell you?

I don't know, I didn't listen!”

“...was there a reason behind it? There would be no point in asking... he never appeared to have a reason for anything he did at all: he had turned unfathomably into an art form. He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”

“Anything that happens, happens.

Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.

Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.

It doesn’t necessarily do it in chronological order, though.”

“Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”

“Who is this God person anyway?”

“On the way back, they sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms.”

“Well I think we've sorted all that out now. If you'd like to know, I can tell you that in your Universe you move freely in three dimensions that you call space. You move in a straight line in a fourth, which you call time, and stay rooted to one place in a fifth, which is the first fundamental of probability. After that it gets a bit complicated, and there's all sorts of stuff going on in dimensions 13 to 22 that you really wouldn't want to know about. All you really need to know for the moment is that the Universe is a lot more complicated then you might think.”

"`...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything.'

`But the plans were on display...'

`On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.'

`That's the display department.'

`With a torch.'

`Ah, well the lights had probably gone.'

`So had the stairs.'

`But look you found the notice didn't you?'

`Yes,' said Arthur, `yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".'"

"`Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.'

`Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the "Reader's Digest". They've got a page for people like you.'"

"`This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer, `I never could get the hang of Thursdays.'"

"Pages one and two [of Zaphod's p********ial speech] had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested Eagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of nest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it."

“this is obviously some strange usage of the word "safe" that I wasn't previously aware of.”

"`You'd better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It's unpleasently like being drunk.'

`What's so unpleasent about being drunk?'

`You ask a glass of water.'"

"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.'"

"There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are `Why are people born?' `Why do they die?' `Why do they spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?'"

"The fronting for the eighty-yard long marble-topped bar had been made by stitching together nearly twenty thousand Antarean Mosaic Lizard skins, despite the fact that the twenty thousand lizards concerned had needed them to keep their insides in."

"`We've got to find out what people want from fire, how they relate to it, what sort of image it has for them.'

The crowd were tense. They were expecting something wonderful from Ford.

`Stick it up your nose,' he said.

`Which is precisely the sort of thing we need to know,' insisted the girl, `Do people want fire that can be fitted nasally?'"

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.”

"Ford grabbed him by the lapels of his dressing gown and spoke to him as slowly and distinctly and patiently as if he were somebody from a telephone company accounts department."

“Arthur's consciousness approached his body as from a great distance, and reluctantly. It had had some bad times in there. Slowly, nervously, it entered and settled down into its accustomed position.”

"His eyes seemed to be popping out of his head. He wasn't certain if this was because they were trying to see more clearly, or if they simply wanted to leave at this point."

"There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind."

"`You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?'

`Really?' said Arthur. `No I didn't. For what offence?'

Trillian frowned. `What do you mean, offence?'

`I see.'"

"`She hit me on the head with the rock again.'

`I think I can confirm that that was my daughter.'

`Sweet kid.'

`You have to get to know her,' said Arthur.

`She eases up does she?'

`No,' said Arthur, `but you get a better sense of when to duck.'"

"The beak was a major piece of armoury. It was a beak that would frighten any animal on earth, even one that was already dead and in a tin."

"`Could we perhaps take a snake bite detector with us to Komodo?'

`Course you can, course you can. Take as many as you like. Won't do you a blind bit of good because they're only for Australian snakes.'

`So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly, then?'

He blinked at me as if I was stupid.

`Well what do you think you do?' he said. `You die of course. That's what deadly means.'"

"Mark turned and asked a passenger behind us if these planes ever crashed. Oh yes, he was told, but not to worry - there hadn't been a serious crash now in months."

"Virtually everything we were told in Indonesia turned out not to be true, sometimes almost immediately. The only exception to this was when we were told that something would happen immediately, in which case it turned out not to be true over an extended period of time."

"Komodo dragons sleep headfirst in large burrows. It is a very, very, very bad idea to even think of pulling its tail."

“Plenty of people did not care for him much, but then there is a huge difference between disliking somebody -- maybe even disliking them a lot -- and actually shooting them, strangling them, dragging them through the fields and setting their house on fire. It was a difference which kept the vast majority of the population alive from day to day.”

“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own laws.”

“The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place.”

“The big corporations are suddenly taking notice of the web, and their reactions have been slow. Even the computer industry failed to see the importance of the Internet, but that's not saying much. Let's face it, the computer industry failed to see that the century would end.”

“One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to find out how a cat works--you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you've got in your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis.”

“For thousands more years the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming on to the first planet they came across - which happened to be the Earth - where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.”

“The technology involved in making anything invisible is so infinitely complex that nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand million, nine hundred and ninety- nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety- nine times out of a billion it is much simpler and more effective just to take the thing away and do without it.”

“Since this Galaxy began, vast civilisations have risen and fallen, risen and fallen, risen and fallen so often that it's quite tempting to think that life in the Galaxy must be (a) something akin to seasick - space-sick, time sick, history sick or some such thing, and (b) stupid.”

“It wasn't his job to worry about that, though. It was his job to do his job, which was to do his job. If that led to a certain narrowness of vision and circularity of thought then it wasn't his job to worry about such things.”

“All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place.”

“Computer, if you don't open that exit hatch this moment I shall zap straight off to your major data banks and reprogram you with a very large axe.”

“I think all cats are wild cats. They just act tame if they think they'll get a saucer of milk out of it.”

“Look, would it save a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

“Now, either you all give yourselves up now and let us beat you up a bit, though not very much of course because we are firmly opposed to needless violence, or we blow up this entire planet and possibly one or two we noticed on our way out here!”

“Rome wasn't burned in a day.”

“The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction between right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as we go along.”

“The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don't even know you're making.”

“There is probably buried in the Western psyche a deep taboo about eating anything you've been introduced to socially.”

“Totally mad. Utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.”

“We are not an endangered species ourselves yet, but this is not for lack of trying.”

“Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters, which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.”

“If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've certainly learned something about it yourself. The teacher usually learns more than the pupil does.”

"Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in..."

"...he was at least twice as unbalanced now, and quite liable to fall off whatever it is that well-balanced people are supposed to be balancing on."

"In his dreams he was walking late at night along the East Side, beside the river which had become so extravagantly polluted that new life forms were now emerging from it spontaneously, demanding welfare and voting rights"

"Busy executives often didn’t have time for a full-time wife and family and would just rent them for weekends."

"It was impossible for Arthur to know this, but he just went ahead and knew it anyway."

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."

I have to bitch about fat chicks! I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly? One would imagine that a hefty individual might make an attempt to overcome their physical shortcomings by exercising a more cheerful personality. Not these trifling hoes....

Out at a local club last night with a couple of dudes, watchin' the Ravens lose. Not lookin' for anything but an Orange Crush and a jerked -chicken quesadilla. As the night rolls on, the DJ, in typical fashion, begins to ramp up the energy in the room. The ladies start dancing, the fellas start watching. My buddies and I are enjoying our pub grub. Things are good.

A herd of linebackers migrates to the dance floor, not far from where my crew was stationed at the bar. They're drunk, and they are ready to grind. There's the cute (but fat) one, the tall one, the thick one (looked like she preferred the vag), the shy (but fat) one and the one we nicknamed "Goliath". Goliath looks like she ran security for the rest of them... bout 6'5", 300+ lbs.

The Ravens lose and the next game comes on. No one in my group cares for either of the teams now playing, so we turn our attention to the dance floor to scope out the talent. Being the nice guy that I am, I strike up a friendly chat with the "shy" one. She's cool, easy enough to talk to. She wants to be a cop, and I can relate to that. We talk for a good ten minutes or so before I notice the "cute" one has maneuvered herself into a tactical grinding position against my left leg.

Now, I'm not much of a dancer, but I don't have the heart to say no to a women who has concluded that, after scanning the room (I picture the Terminator scanning his surroundings, data popping up on the screen and whatnot), my sweet ass is the one for her. So I go with it. Fuck it.

It's quickly apparent that this bitch is the drunkest of her posse. Her dance moves tease of the possibility of a rouge titty popping out, but it never happens, which is ok, because remember, she's fat. She's stumbling and mumbling and it looks like she's not making it out of the club with her dinner still inside of her belly. My buddies see what's going on and I can hear the fat jokes in their heads as they laugh and point.

My buddy walks up and hands me a cranberry and vodka. "Thanks brotha!" I take one sip before the sloppy drunk pile snatches it out of my hand (spilling a good portion of it) and within seconds the whole thing is gone. Oh well, at least I didn't pay for that drink, but this trifling hoe is getting to be obnoxious. I'm thinking that it's getting late, so the lights should be coming on any moment now.

WHAM! Drunky takes a mid-dance nap and hits the ground hard. I try to catch her arm before she makes contact, but the cellulite makes for a terrible handgrip, not that I could support her mass anyway, so she's down and dirty and the nasty bar floor. Her friend, the thick one, moves in to run a recovery mission, but she's not man enough to move her fat ass, so she calls for reinforcements.

Enter Goliath. Easily strong enough to pick all of her friends in one arm and a plate of cheesy fries in the other, Goliath scoops up her fallen comrade and turns her attention to me.

"What the fuck did you put in her drink?" Keep in mind, chubs stole MY drink.

Last call. Lights on. The thick one and the tall one help stabilize the cute one as they all make their way to the front door. I can see them starring me down, as if to accuse me of a wrong doing. The shy one has disappeared, probably pulling up the car (20 bux says all 1200 pounds of these bitches pile into a single 2-door Honda Civic.) Goliath is yelling something at me, but I'm not listening, I'm trying to remember if the bar has my card or not. They do. Better settle up. Fuck this huge bitch.

My crew and I pay our tabs and make our way out the door into the parking lot. WIN! There before us was a shiny black Honda Civic with 4 pissed off whales and one drunk manatee on the ground outside the passenger door. The front passenger seat, the center console and part of the dash was covered in cranberry colored vomit. Ha! I knew it!

The bison see us exit the building and the cussing begins. They really thought that I drugged this bitch. I mean, think about it, if was gonna spend my hard earned money on some sweet roofies, wouldn't I pick a victim that I could get into bed without the aid of a forklift? I don't even own a forklift. Fuck. I'ma punch these hoes in their Adam's Apples.

Goliath runs to grab a nearby security man. I hear her screaming to call the cops while she points her sausage man-fingers at me, and I see the security guy grab his radio. Time to get the fuck out of Dodge!

We jump into my buddy's Camry and squeal wheels out of there. As we drive off I look back to see a collective single-finger salute, to which I return fire, all the while maintaining a big smile on my face. Bye bye fatties.

About 10 years ago i was working at walmart. From the day i started the female employees where on me like white on rice. I was the new meat and i found out there was three cashiers that had a bet as to who would fuck me first. We got a hour for lunch and id go to my car and take a nap everyday. One day i got in my car and just laid my seat back when there was a knock on my window. It was one of the cashiers i was talking about. Shes standing there with a coke in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other. I unlocked the door and she got in. She wasnt ugly but just had her sixth baby and since she was only 5' tall all that baby fat made her look round. Anyway she dipped her pizza in ranch dressing and took a bite the ranch ran down her chin. I said look at that ranch dripping down your chin i bet you wish i was dripping down your chin. She set the pizza on my dash wiped off her chin washed the pizza down with a swig of coke and told me to whip it out. That girl gave the best head and swallowed my load. She milked my cock and told me my cum was sweet. She finished eating and she told me if it was ok with me she would love to suck my dick everyday on lunch. I never let her i just moved on to the next slutty cashier.