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I don’t even know where to begin.. this is something that happened earlier this year and I’ve only told one person about it so trying to write it all out to understand my feelings. I guess I’ll give you a little background I’m 23 pretty average life I guess I work at a popular retail store and live with my boyfriend. That same store is where I meet my boyfriend Ryan (not gonna use real names) over a year ago. Everything in the relationship is great and refreshing especially compared to the shit I went thru with my ex. But still like most things in my life I managed to messed this up too. Josh got hired and started working in the back in like the warehouse area where my boyfriend worked at the time. I would find excuses to go back there and see my bf even though he was busy most the time. Josh stood out right away, he was older but also super tall like I guess maybe 6’4 and he just looked kinda mean we’ll I guess intimidating would be a better way of putting it. At first he ignored me but soon he would make little comments, like oh you’ve come to see me or hey where’s mine you gotta feed me too, when I would bring my bf some snack or lunch. His eyes were different though, he would make the most intense eye contact with me and I felt like I was going to melt right there and then. Anyways it’s a long story but I guess that should be enough background or at least that’s the most I wanna share on it. His comments and flirting started to get more blunt even in front of my bf. My boyfriend was still really nice to this guy even though he was a jerk to most people, he would give him a ride home almost every night even though it was out of his way. Well one night my bfs car was having trouble so I went to pick him up and guess who still asked for a ride home that night too 🙄 that whole car ride I felt nervous like I guess butterfly type feeling in my stomach and my words were mush like I know I must not of been making sense. Anyways we dropped him off and went on to have a fun night back at his apartment. Well the next day my bf was off but I had to work and was clocking out for the day when Josh came up to me and asked for a ride home. He said his aunt was having an emergency and he had to get there asap but couldn’t find anyone else to give him a ride. I felt a pit in my stomach but for some reason kinda like flattered to that he would ask me and I’m honestly the type that tries to always help if I can so I thought whatever no biggie it’s just a ride so I take him home. The whole care ride I felt ancy like I have some nervous habits and tics from childhood and I know I must’ve been showing them a lot cause I felt kinda off.Once I was at his place he said come inside he needed to make some more calls and might need a ride to the emergency room. Again my gut was telling me I probably shouldn’t of gone inside but I felt in control and I wanted to help if he did need another ride. Inside his place he told me to sit and wait on the couch in the living room cause he was going to make some phone calls in his bedroom. I sat and waited and then when he came back, he had changed he put on I guess these athletic pants but to me they looked like tights and he had a noticeable huge bulge sticking out the front he also had a tank top on. At this point I felt nervous and got up I all of a sudden was picturing my boyfriend and I felt super light headed and dizzy. I started mumbling words and kinda stumbling towards the front door and he stepped in front of me put his hands on my hips and pulled me into him for a kiss. My head was spinning even faster but I was also getting turned on, I had always noticed his sexy hands, it’s one of the first thing I check out and his were huge and always veiny so feeling them squeeze all over my body was making my body respond. I tried to kinda push off him cause I knew what I was doing was wrong and felt so overwhelmed but I felt frozen too. He was very physical right away, he started by grabbing my wrist and wrapped my hand around his cock. Besides the huge size the thing I actually immediately noticed and was scared at how hard it was, it felt like cement.The first words he spoke to me was to say in a deep voice I haven’t been able to get out of my head since, “why are you trembling baby” and pushed me back down on the couch we had been sitting at before. Before I could speak another word he had pulled his cock out of his pants and pushed it into my mouth. Right away my jaw hurt at how much I had to open up my mouth to accommodate his size I also was having a hard time breathing and started to choke. You would think this was a bad thing but I actually strangely enjoy that choking feeling and was getting wet at how demanding of my mouth he was. He started to say much more at this point. He said he could tell how much I wanted him cause my eyes were stuck on him like glue but I always looked away and pretended they weren’t. He also said and made me say much more degrading things especially about my boyfriend. But that was later on. At this point he was still in my mouth but I could feel myself getting wet. I felt a combination of scared, guilty, overwhelmed but also very encaptured by the moment. He pulled down my pants but kept on my socks and shoes. He started to rub my clit in little circles. My breathing was basically hyperventilating at this point but he kept having me repeat things he told me back to him and then finally made me repeat and admit I wanted him inside of me, I wanted him to take me. At this point I lost it. Tears started to form and I knew i was going to lose it but instead of losing it on him I gave in. I lost on myself. I said yes. I cried out and admitted he was right I wanted him, I wanted him to have me. He pushed in and my immediate reaction was to pull away. I was wet but he was so thick and hard it felt like I was going to tear just from his head. He had an evil laugh and seemed to like that I pulled away, he told me he was expecting that. He spit all over and eventually put his heavy cock inside of me. I immediately felt a tightness and fullness I hadn’t really experienced before. I also felt like I had to pee BAD. I felt so overwhelmed and repressed I was freaking out. He kept talking to me and kept making me speak even though I felt like I couldn’t control what was coming out of my mouth it was just mush. “It feels like you’re splitting me open” is all I was able to manage at first until I had my first earth shattering headache inducing body shaking orgasm on his dick. I was making a mess of everything, what looked like some sort of female ejaculation as the best way I can describe it was shooting out of my vagina, I don’t know if it was pee or squirting or what but it made a mess everywhere. I never felt more self conscious. He continued to have his way with me. In a bunch of different positions. I felt like a rag doll with him. He seemed into making me do things he must’ve seen in porn a lot cause he kept making me lay on my belly and reach back and grab my toes and also had his hands in and around my mouth a ton. He kept taking his two big fingers and putting them in the insides of my cheeks and just gripping me and moving me around by my face.The whole situation felt like a blackout and fast forward to today and I still feel just as mixed up. Still with my boyfriend and tried to move on but there’s a part of me that replays that day a ton and now it’s starting to happen even when I’m with my man. That’s why I’m writing here I guess to say my story, admit and realize I do have this kink and to just and sort it all out 😩💁♀️XO
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Board Posts
What's the difference between dog shit and niggers?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.
How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.
Why do niggers cry during sex?
The Mace.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
Why do niggers stink?
So blind people can hate them too.
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a spic?
Someone too lazy to steal.
Why don't niggers take aspirin?
They refuse to pick the cotton out.
What do nigger kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
What's a niggers idea of foreplay?
"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."
Why do spics drive low-riders?
So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
What do you get when you cross a jew and a gypsy?
A chain of empty retail stores.
Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox?
Cats keep covering them up.
What do you call an apartment full of niggers?
A COON-dominium.
Why are there no nigger astronauts?
Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.
How do you babysit a niglet?
Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
How do you get him down?
Teach him to say "Motherfucker."
How else do you babysit a niglet?
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.
How do you get him down?
Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piata party.
Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.
What is a nigger on a bike?
Thief.
What's long and black and smells like shit?
The welfare line.
What do you call 50 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.
What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life?
First grade.
How was break dancing invented?
Niggers trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.
Why do niggers keep chickens in their back yards?
To teach their kids how to walk.
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
You ever try to take a rib from a nigger?
What is a nigger?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
"I set WHO free?"
Why are chimps always frowning?
They know in a million years they are going to turn into niggers.
Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
The harder you hit it the more English you get.
How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?
All of them if you put them in the ashtray.
A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
Who cares.
A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
The spic, because the nigger had to stop on the way down and spray paint "motherfucker" on the wall.
Why don't spics have barbeques?
The beans keep falling through the grill.
You hear about the new car made in Israel?
Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A quarter-pounder.
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.
How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.
How many niggers does it take to pave a driveway?
One if you spread him real thin.
How do you blindfold a chink?
Dental floss.
How do chinks name their kids?
They throw silverware down the stairs.
What's the difference between a nigger and a bag of shit?
The bag.
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.
When does a Black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room.
What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education?
Nigger.
What do you call a nigger in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.
There is a nigger and a spic in a car, who's driving?
The cop.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
He doesn't know he's black.
How long does it take a nigger bitch to take a shit?
9 months.
Why don't nigger women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken.
Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
Why do Mexican cars have those little steering wheels?
So they can drive handcuffed.
Why are niggers like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.
What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms?
Niger nigger nigger.
How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?
Tell them its a raft.
Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth.
What can a pizza do that a nigger can't?
Feed a family of four.
Why did the nigger carry a piece of shit in his wallet?
I.D.
What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?
A nigger dressed for church.
Why do niggers have flat noses?
That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails.
Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"
Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.
What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers?
It comes in a spray can.
What's the difference between niggers and pit-bulls?
It's still legal to own a pit-bull.
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
Why do niggers walk the way they do?
Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit?
He ate six crocs before they could pull him out.
Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.
How do you stop a nigger from going out?
Pour more gas on him.
Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week.
What do you do if you run over a nigger?
Reverse.
Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.
Who were the three most famous women in black history?
Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother Fucker!
Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?
You put it on the front of your car.
What do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common?
They're both niggers.
How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read?
They're both niggers.
Why do niggers wear wide-brimmed hats?
So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
Why did so many nigger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the niggers would jump up and start dancing.
What do you get when you cross a nigger with a Vietnamese?
Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.
What's black and tan and looks good on a nigger?
A Doberman Pinscher.
What's the fastest animal in the world?
The Ethiopian chicken.
Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?
He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.
Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?
He tried to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.
Why was golf invented?
So white people get a chance to dress like niggers.
What do you do if you see a nigger with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.
Why did god create orgasms?
So niggers know when to stop.
Why did god give niggers rhythm?
Because he fucked up their hair, nose and lips.
Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
Why can't nigger women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.
How do you fit 15 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
You don't.
Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?
My nigger I can paint him whatever color I want.
Why do seagulls have wings?
To beat the niggers to the dump.
What's a crying shame?
When a bus full of niggers drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty seats.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his ass?
A dart.
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because one of them lost a quarter.
What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
How many spics does it take to have a bath?
Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
What do a nigger and an apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why are niggers always buried 12 feet deep?
Deep down they're good people.
What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?
The length of the chain.
What's black, orange, and very pretty?
A nigger on fire.
What do you have if you've got a nigger up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement.
How was copper wire invented?
Two jews fighting over a penny.
How do you starve a nigger?
Hide his welfare check under his work boots.
How do you get 12 niggers in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check.
How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.
Why are there trees in Harlem?
Public transportation.
How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.
What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it nigger."
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