i confess that life is short and if you are on this site you are wasting it. god is real and you will meet HIM? READ THE BIBLE???REPENT AND TURN TO CHRIST SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO BURN!!!
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So I went to Church yesterday for the first time in 13 years, The only problem, I ate some beans on Saturday night, as the preacher was preaching I thought I could get away with letting a silent but deadly ass fart, well I forgot I was sitting on a wood bench, which will amplify farts, so as I ripped ass I rattled the whole fucking bench which is about 30 feet long, I then heard alot of laughs around me and I looked at this guy next to me and he was bright red, so being the nice guy I am, I moved way over and plugged my nose as if to blame him for the fart, anyways the service went on and I was miserable with holding more farts in, which can cause serious fucking problems, as the congregation was singing, I ripped ass again, shitting my pants with the squirts, I then proceeded to get to the bathroom down the hall, and as I was walking a piece of poop fell out by my shoe, so I walked alot faster then, Anyways I then said fuck it and went home, I think I better not eat beans and fucking corn, cabbage together, I cant post any pics of my pants because I burned them along with the bible.
I confess. I`ve been defecating in church confession stands. I figure its just like a toilet anyway. The entire church is. There is no god anyway. Only weak minded people follow a bullshit book like the bible. If you want science fiction that bad go see star wars. But if you cant afford it, I guess you can go to the church and get a free copy. Anyway. BURN DOWN ALL CHURCHES. They are a waste of space....
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