What a bunch of crap!! A tech guru I know, who worked with law enforcement, said if your wifi pass is hacked and someone downloads illegal content off your IP you will be the one taking a ride in the party van to visit bubba!

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is a so called actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas.

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. Read it all. Do not skip any sections. Do not skip ahead.

Pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

Note: For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off around Halloween. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

CHILI, TEXAS STYLE !!!
Note from Frank: "Recently, while visiting Texas (I'm from Springfield, IL) I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original judge called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light beer booth, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that even though I was inexperienced as a Chili taster, the chili >wouldn't be all that spicy. Besides, they told me, I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting {censored-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, >sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will >eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about judge number 3. He appears to be a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. Atleast during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

THE NEXT TIME anyone wants to post or talk about about rape of any kind. Just REMEMBER BIG BUBBA is waiting for your ugly ASS in prison!!!😭

Anybody else get very dirty feelings when they see a girl with those bubba gump lips?

Hi guys, long time reader, first time poster.

I confess just the other day I achieved intercourse with a teenager. I wrote out how it happened for your fapping pleasure. Before the trolls arrive, I will not post pics or vids, as I enjoy banging this girl, and will not likely enjoy getting banged by Bubba if I ever got caught. Yes this is a true story.

I have changed our names to protect both of our identities.

***

I had arranged to meet Beth before the group gathering. Tonight is the youth group's Christmas banquet, and she thinks that she's coming in a bit early to get in some photographs.

Well, she is. I told her that I'd like to send some proofs to a modelling agency, and that I need a model to work with. She was flattered and more than willing to comply. Beth is a simple country girl, homeschooled. I asked her once about her schooling, if she learns about biology, physics, math, if her mom is really capable of teaching it. Turns out there's lots that she doesn't get taught.

I really wanted to know how much she knew about sex, and a general sex-education in highschool would include STDs, so I ask her if she's ever heard of chlamydia. She answers, "It's pronounced clematis, and it's a viney plant with white flowers." No sex-ed.

When she arrives, she's wearing a stunning crimson red dress. It hugs her curves. It's strapless, and shows the top of her cleavage, and shows more than half her thighs. The best part of the dress is the zipper up the front--it goes from top to bottom, and there's a zipper head on each end. She's let the heads run a couple of inches from the hem on both ends. She weighs maybe 100 pounds, this dress shows off her perfect legs and ass like nothing else.

Her blonde hair is up in a fancy kind of bun, with long strands dangling down. She isn't wearing any stockings and her legs are smooth and white, and wears a mid-calf-high leather boot, with heals. She's about 5'2" usually, with the boot maybe 5'4". For a 15 year old homeschooler, she has sex appeal down.

"Come right in!" I motion her into the studio I have set up. The studio is in the same building as the banquet, where this youth group meets. She wasn't warned, but I have three high-definition video cameras in the room--one at front, one at side, and one in the opposite corner, close to the ceiling. I intend to revisit this appointment in my mind many times, and the recorded video will help.

"So, today we're going to take a few shots and get them submitted to a modelling studio, to get their feedback on my photography technique. Ready?"

"Sure", she answers with a hesitance, "But what's the video cameras for?" She motions to the obvious cameras.

"Don't pay them any mind, they are for my own purpose. Just ignore them!" I keep cheery and focused, not gonna let this get derailed. I flick on the three high-wattage flood lamps and get some lighting going.

Beth sits on the provided couch. It's a slouchy couch that I selected exactly for that reason. She sits on it and immediately loses balance. Her arms and legs all go out to rebalance, and I get a glimpse of everything wonderful. Perfect "little girl" white cotton panties. And you know damn straight I caught a few clicks, nevermind the video.

"Whew! I almost fell right over!" She wiggles to sit upright. I get her in a few positions: upright, laying on her belly, laying on her back, standing in front of the couch, standing on the couch. A couple of favorites: I got one where she is laying on her belly, and she is facing the camera, head propped up on hands, with elbows to the floor and her knees apart and feet up towards her head. What a glorious view for the camera behind her; on the couch, laying on her back, she has her two hands almost cupping her breasts, pursed lips facing the camera, and her one leg straight and the other upright and bent. God I love her legs.

A couple of times I glimpsed her panties again, and made an "Oops!" kind of sound, so as to play innocent with her. It was obvious that it didn't *really* bother her, and she wasn't ever really embarrassed that it had happened.

Half an hour has passed and I probably have 100 photos, all very excellent. She loves the attention and follows every suggestion.

"Beth, have you ever been tanning?" She's white like my bed linens.

"No, Mom and Dad have me working the greenhouse and I don't get out to go to school, so not really."

"Your skin is very white, can we try something?" She nods. "Come sit on the couch."

I put down the camera and walk up to face her sitting on the couch, and put my hands on her calves just above her boots.

"If we rub your skin a little bit, they'll get a bit of color. Like a little bit red. Are you ticklish?" She shakes her head no.

It was a lie, that her skin should change color. There's no real truth behind it, but it was a lie based on truth: she doesn't like how white her skin is, and I want to touch her. I put my hands on her calf, right above the boot, and drag my fingertips in small circles, over her knee and up to her lower thighs.

She giggles, and doesn't protest. Her skin has changed color though, on her face; she is flushed.

I pull up her chin to look up at me standing in front of her, and do the same to her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, ears and behind the ears. When I got behind her ears, she closed her eyes and leaned in, so I took my time moving on. I tickled her hair, her neck, and moved to her shoulders. "Sit forward", I tell her.

She moves to the front edge of the couch, and I step on the couch to get behind her, then sit behind her with one leg on either side. "Now sit back." Her full weight is leaned against me, and if she knew what a hard-on was, she would feel mine pressed right against her lower back.

I continue massage tickling her shoulders, down her arms, and get back to her neck and ears. She lets out a soft moan and says "That feels really relaxing."

"And it's working too, your skin is changing color." There's no mirror for her to see, so I think she has to take my word for it. "I need to get every inch of your skin, so you're going to have to trust me." She doesn't react, or speak or flinch or anything, so I take my turn.

I casually make continuing tickle circles down her shoulders, to her collarbone, back to her neck, just beyond her collarbone. Her skin is so smooth, and without blemish, and she is totally relaxed and pressing her weight into me. Eventually I reach the hem of her dress, and am massaging her breasts. It's not a fondle or a cupping, but the same tickling. They're so tender, and they almost feel hot to the touch, but that might be in my head.

I continue to tickle up and down her chest, from hem up to neck and ears, and back down again. If she had any reason to be suspicious of foul play, it could be because I would be massaging this part of her body for 10 minutes alone. I even made sure to reach in under her dress a tiny bit, where the zipper head has been let down a bit. And when she didn't protest about that, I let slip in my fingers just under the hem of her dress, right onto her covered breasts. It's tight-fitting, so I don't insist on getting them in, just a bit of foreshadowing for her to think about.

"How are you doing?" I ask her, softly. "Mmmhmm" She responds without words, and I think she slouches a bit. I remember the camera that is facing the couch, and that it probably has a nice view of her crotch right now. OH! Her crotch..

I reach one hand down to her knee, and start massaging there, while the other tickled its way down the front of her dress. Agains she never protests that I ran my hand over her breast, over her belly, pressing in every step of the way. When both of my hands are on her knees, I start to do a drag kind of tickle, straight lines on her thighs, inside, on top, outside. And repeat, each time getting closer to the hem of her dress. Inside her thighs, on top of her thighs, outside of her thighs. Up and down. Repeat.

As I reach the hem of her dress, on my next pass I make a subtle gesture for her to part her legs, I just sort of push her knees a bit outwards. On my next trip up, I am not only inside her thighs, but reaching all the way down to the back of her thighs.

"Beth, do you still trust me?"

"Oh, yes!" She answers almost as a plea. "Put your hands on the back of my head." She reaches around, and clasps her hands on the back of my neck. At the same time I am continuing my upward travel to the hem of her dress, which has no risen because her legs are parted. Very gently, raking my fingers over the insides of her thighs I can feel the warmth that comes from the prize at the end of the road..

Then it happened, my thumbs caught the slightest glance of cotton--her panties. I almost froze it was so unexpected. I mean, I was going there, that's what I wanted, but now that I had arrived I was caught in fear.

"Are you done?" She asks. Her hands are rubbing my head, and she's almost squirming in my hands, as though to try to provoke me to continue.

"Not unless you are", I answer. She relaxes again, and sighs. She wants it.

Now, I pick up her one leg with both hands, and hook it on the outside of my knee. She complies and does her other leg for me. Now spread wide open, she leans her head on my shoulder, and for the first time I notice her breathing--it's quite heavy, she is silently panting.

So I work my way up from her knees, tickling her thighs, knowing that this time I will touch her, and there's no going back.

Every inch closer, she breathes another heavy sigh, I can feel her tensing her whole body, gripping and pulling my hair with her hands. Finally, with my thumbs, I feel the cotton again, and I rake up against it, making circles again.

Then, I hold my hands steady on either side of her panties, just millimetres from her crotch, and, holding my own breath, with my right thumb, gently press into the cotton. At first, light as a feather, and when I'm done, with enough pressure that Beth is squealing. She has never been touched like this.

I start to stroke my thumb up and down the cotton, where her pussy lips divide. It is so hot, and there is considerable friction from how wet she is. Beth is moaning with every exhale.

With the rest of my hands, I grip her under her thighs, right around to her ass, still stroking her very damp panties. She is almost pulling my hair out, writhing in ecstasy, moaning louder with every breath.

I move one hand from her thigh back to her chest, and stroke heavily her chest and neck and ear, and cup her clothed breast. I slow my stroking--I'd like to change pace, but don't want to disappoint her.

Now cupping her vagina and her breast, I just hold her tight, pressing her back against me. Breathing silently, but heavily, she finally speaks.

"Oh my God, Andrew. That is incredible. That feels so good. I don't want you to stop."

"Let's skip the banquet, eh? What do you say?" I have my eyes on the prize, and want to seal the deal. We're only a few rooms away, but nobody knows we're here, and we could stay all night. The banquet starts in about 30 minutes.

"Well.." she pauses. It's clear she wants to go.

"Ok, I tell you what. Let's stay here for a little while longer, go to the banquet, then come back. I promise you won't regret it." Beth is obviously excited.

"Andrew?" She asks. "I want more."

"Let me give it to you then." I slide out from behind her, thankful for a chance to breathe and give my own boner some space. She's now slouching right back against the couch, with her ass on the front edge.

I kneel down in front of her, and reach up her thighs, and under her (now unzipped) dress, grasping both sides of her panties at her waist. She lifts her ass a little and with a quick tug I have them at her ankles, then over her boots.

I look up and see in her full glory: perfect shapely thighs, knees slightly parted, and a perfect, swollen, parted and glistening wet pussy. She has a dirty-blonde patch of hair in a neat little V-shape above her labia, then a perfect hairless stomach.

"If you want to prove to me you're ready for this, then you'll have to leave these behind." The look of shock on her face, as a twirl her panties around my index finger, is priceless. I'm going to make this sweet innocent girl the hottest fuck toy there ever was.

She bites her bottom lip, looks up to a corner of her eye and finally nods to agree.

I can't tell you how precious a sight that is: I am knelt before her, panties in hand, her dress unzipped almost to her naval, legs slightly parted, red and swollen pussy in plain sight, sweat running down her face and hair plastered down, and now this look of mischief, of innocence lost, of lust across her face…

I rub my hands from her knees to her waist, on the outside of her thighs a few times, gradually working inwards. She's now looking into my eyes while I do it, and every time I get closer to her pussy her smile cracks even wider. Just as my hands are about to make contact, she closes her eyes and arches her back, but I stop, lean in, and blow a gentle breeze right over her swollen clitoris.

"OH GOD!" She nearly screams. Her hands reach out and behind her, looking for something to clutch.

The smell is invigorating. She has told me before about how her parents are "all-natural" eaters. She's clearly not on her period or ovulating. Just a clean, salty-sweet scent of lust.

I lay a few gentle kisses on her abdomen, then where her abs and legs meet, then a couple right up inside her thigh…

"Andrew are you going to…" She can't even finish the question.

I kiss her right on the clitoris. Then her labia. Then her pubic hair. My hands are rubbing up and down the inside of her thighs, and I lay my tongue flat across her lips and stroke up towards her clit.

"Mmmm… Oh that feels really good." Beth is moaning again with every breath. With one hand I rub her on her pubic hair, and up her belly, then under her dress until I reach her breast. To my amazement and delight, she doesn't wear a bra with this dress and I have in my hand her naked, erect nipple. Her breast is hardly bigger than a handful, a B-cup if I had to guess.

As I roll her nipple between thumb and finger, she starts jerking her body, throwing her back against the couch, then forward, legs up, then down. My other hand has now hooked a finger in between her lips, and it is soaking wet. I've been almost constantly licking and chewing her lit, and as you all know she is in an elongated state of climax.

I can tell that this wave of climax is near finished, so I start to let her down gently. My hand on her breast moves to her back, so that I'm holder her around her waist, I start licking slowly and broadly her lips and thighs, and my other hand is holder her behind her knee.

"Beth, I told you that we could make your skin look a little redder!" Her face is totally flush, and her crotch is bright red and swollen.

"Wow", is all she can muster.

Holding her tight, I move my head out of her lap, then let go, leaning up and in towards her face. She's looking into my eyes and watching me come close. Then I grab her by the back of her head, and kiss her right on her lips. She is clearly caught off guard, kissing like this is much more intimate than being orally satisfied.

She almost resists until I show her how to do it -- aha! The difference now isn't that she doesn't want it, but that up until now she has simply done as she was told, and is completely inexperienced. I kiss her top lip, her bottom lip. I lick her top lip, then kiss it again. I see her, in between kisses, licking her own lips, realizing that this is what her pussy tastes like.

I pull her chin down and her mouth open and thrust my tongue onto hers, licking her tongue, pushing and teasing it. Then a couple of gentle kisses again, and I pull back to stand upright.

If she knew to look for a boner, I'd almost be poking her in the face with it. I mean, I'm still fully clothed but holy hell this raging hard-on…

"It's time to get to the banquet if you want to make it in time." I look her in the eyes, turning off the bright, hot lights, and taking in her sweet sight.

She lazily, almost drunkenly stands up, her dress half unzipped and not even on straight anymore. Her hair is a mess, she's obviously been pulling her own hair too. She wiggles her dress and it straightens out, then she zips it fully up and fully down. Then I see her eyeing her panties I left next to the couch.

"Nuh-uh!" I exclaim. "These are mine." I hold them in my hands, and give them a big whif--just more of the same sweet smell I've come to know and love, then stuff them in my slack's back pocket.

Here we are, both of us dressed, we walk out the studio and to the banquet.

All of Beth's friends, and the teenagers I chaperone, are there. All of them all dolled up, wearing big smiles. Naturally the girls and the boys have found themselves on opposite sides of the room, looking and giggling at each other.

"Beth! You look so beautiful!" they all exclaim.

One of them, holding her hands, asks her, "There's something about you, you look different." Beth doesn't answer. "You're glowing!"

I leaned into Beth's ear and whisper, "Told you!" Then walk away, to let her be with her friends.

The next two hours are the longest two hours of my life. I still have her panties in my back pocket, and sat across the room from her; she sat with her back to me. Occasionally, she'll turn to see her friend, to chat with her, and I'll see her long, perfect legs, knowing at the end of them is my sweet, naked pussy.

To be continued...?

Hi my names Bubba and I like to go outside and masturbate infront of women on the streets when I know they aren't looking.
You can call me Hubba Bubba. Ladies please feel free to leave your number so the love god can get back to you.

I fantasize over young children.... Mainly little girls, the thought of them playing with my hard cock as I poke it through a hole at the bottom of a pizza box.
"What IS This?!" she's says
" I dint noe bubba? :o taste it? Lick it, it looks like a lolipop to me "

Fuck yea u little cok munchR SUCK THAT FUCKIN COCK! ( before I abduct u, fuck ur every hole whether u like it or not, the soundif ur cris fall on deaf ears, as I bring u close to death with my fat full grown cock...
The feel of ur 2-OLD pussy, ass and mouth wrppd tightly aroundmy dick as I explode my hot stilt cum deep inside ur half dead , use body.... Fuck yea

bubba-booey.

nigger, bush bunny, spade, spear chucker, cotton picker, afro piece of whale shit. anjmima, fat lips, oprha smelling, bubba, buckwheat looking muther fucker pack that in your ass

I am so fucking sick and tired of the fucking whiny crybabies. I mean, no one is forcing you to come to the site, and they sure as fuck aren't forcing you to view anything on here. If the site isn't what you want, please, feel free to fuck off and let the rest of us enjoy it.
OMG. So they deleted your content, boo-fucking-hoo.
So they no longer carry the sort of thing that gets you off. MAYBE it's illegal, and ML is trying to do the best they can to comply to US internet laws so they don't go to jail, and get the site shut down, just so you can get off on watching some old man stick his cock in a clearly underage girl.
So they host things that you find disgusting. Guess what? The site isn't just for YOU! Someone likes it!
So please, instead of sitting there, jacking off with your tears over the fact that you can no longer find what used to get you off, kindly fuck off and leave the rest of us in peace, so we can enjoy what content isn't going to get us sent to jail.
I hope Bubba fucks your ass so hard you have to use a butt plug to keep your shit from falling out.

One day in 'Nam, I was fighting dem vietcong in the jungle when all of a sudden they sprayed agent orange all over my part of the platoon. many men were instantaneously killed by dem chemicals, but I survived. With my right hand I wrested the machine gun from my good friend Bubba Jones and I took a beltful of grenades from my dismembered commander Dan, and I plunged into the jungle looking for vietcong to kill. i figured i had just inhaled a lethal dose of chemicals and i had not long to live, so what better way to live than to kill commies?

needless to say, i killed maybe a hunnered of dem bastards and got given a medal by the army for heroic services to america. I love america, and it didn't bother me that i came out of 'nam with permanently oranged skin. So got a desk job at the airport, checking visitors for drugs and hooch. I met this one really purty drug smuggler, she cried when i caught her and told me she'd do anything I wanted if I let her go, and then she took off all her clothes and proceeded to give me a blow job. But I pushed her away and sent her to the slammer, because nothing was gonna come into america and infect our american youths on MY WATCH!

But the pull of 'Nam was always too strong. So one day i flew back to Saigon, and boy had it changed. I set up an american burger joint in the middle of pham ngu lao and sold burgers to all the rich backpacker kids who wanted to slum it in asia on their gap year or off their parents money. they were always eager to hear a story from a real vet, and they thought my orange skin was intriguing.

There was this one girl, Anna, she was supposed to spend three months around asia, but she ended up three months in my bed. we fucked every night and every day, and when she left she had a little orange baby growing inside her. her parents were furious when they realised, and flew over to 'nam to fight me. But I was tough, and hit them both hard in the nuts. So they respected me, and gave me money to marry their daughter. Turns out they were heirs to one of the biggest fortunes in American history.

Years down the track, after id fucked anna a lot more and produced many more orange babies, i decided to run for government. I needed a compelling reason to do so, but I figured i have orange skin and a compelling backstory.

Guys, would you vote for me if I told you this story on national TV?