WTF?

Random Guys Try to Fuck a Pornstar

Random Guys Try to Fuck a Pornstar

Woman With Half a Body Attempts Coitus

Woman With Half a Body Attempts Coitus

Milk and Cereal

Milk and Cereal

YIKES! Chick Has Crazy Breakdown!

YIKES! Chick Has Crazy Breakdown!

Threesome Gone Bad

Threesome Gone Bad

Fucking In An Internet Cafe

Fucking In An Internet Cafe

Board Posts

14
Anonymous
@soapbox
19 Oct 2011 4:09AM
• 10,303 views • 2 attachments
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To The Cunt Across the street and her shitty kids.

I don't believe in hitting women, but god damn it Paula one of these days Im gonna bounce your fucking head of a car wind shield. Sorry you got knocked up by every Nigger west of the Fucking African Continent, sorry that your husband finally saw the light and left you for learning none of your shitty kids are his, both of you being white and with monkeys for children should have been his first fucking sign you spread your legs for any Gold Tooth Monkey with a criminal background, and it pains me to no fucking end Unemployment cut you off after learning you were selling acid on the down low and your current Nigger boyfriend is doing time for a kid sex beef.
But the next fucking time you slam your rusty piece of shit car into my mail box, I am gonna kick you in the fucking tax rebate box you call your pussy! And for fuck sake, clean up your god damn yard, tell your shitty kids to stop setting fires on this block. And dont give me that, 'aint my kids' THERE ARE NO OTHER FUCKING HALF BREED KIDS ON THIS BLOCK! THEY DON'T EVEN MAKE THE EFFORT TO RUN AWAY, I KNOW, I CAUGHT LITTLE ASPIRIN OR TYLENOL OR WHAT EVER THAT LITTLE SHITS NAME IS SETTING FIRE TO A TIRE AND ROLLING IT DOWN A HILL.

I HOPE TO CHRIST, SOCIAL SERVICES TAKES THEM AWAY FROM YOU. FUCK IT, EXPECT THEM IN THE MORNING, ONE LOOK AT YOUR SHITTY HOUSE AND 9 MONKEYS, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FINALLY SEE MY TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!


now i feel better

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Anonymous
@confessions
06 Sep 2012 1:10PM
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Julie called last night to tell us she was engaged. We both saw it on Facebook but she really wanted to tell my wife. The fiancee was headed out that night on a business trip and she wanted to go out and celebrate. So I became designated driver. Bar talk was the typical "what's been going on over the past 2 months". Sort of weird since everyone sees everything on Facebook these days. At some point it turns to our old jobs (we all used to work together). Then we get to the stories. Blah blah blah. At least my cokes were free since I had the keys. I was about 6 cokes in, 3hrs later, and pretty sure both women were blitzed. My wife kept giggling, which made Julie giggle, and the cycle would just repeat. No one slurred words, so I was hoping the hangover would be mild. I told the bartender to watch them for a moment, grabbed the keys, and moved the car near the door. With his help I got them both in. They could walk, I was just being overly cautious. My wife wanted the back seat. She got in, buckled, and pretty much laid down for the ride home. Julie took the passenger seat and we were off. I figured since they were both blitzed we'd just head to our place. Julie could crash on the couch and we'd take her home in the morning.

Like I said both women were pretty blitzed. My wife was asleep within minutes. Julie giggled a bit more, looked back at my wife, then put her hand on my lap. She rubs back and forth a couple times and then says my wife's a lightweight. I tell her she's blitzed too and she giggles even more. Her hand slowly goes from rubbing to unzipping. I start to protest and she giggles a little more then leans over. Rubbing, to unzipping, to stroking, to kissing, to sucking. It took 30 minutes to get home, she drained me in 20. I actually had to pull over on the turnpike before I went. She worked me so hard, every last drop, then sucked while she played with my balls to make sure I had none left. The whole time my wife was still passed out in the back.

Julie's little snack seemed to sober her up a bit. She giggled some more, told me to blame everything on her being drunk. I guess she had a crush on me but she was my wife's friend at work, and we'd already started dating. When we got home helped me get my wife out of the car. I laid my wife on the bed and Julie said we should undress her. She'd hate to ruin a dress with vomit. It took some drunk ballet but we got the dress off. Then Julie spread my wife's legs.

My wife told me years ago that she'd never been with another woman. Julie just couldn't resist. I sat on the edge of the bed watching her slowly go down on my wife. She was drunk, out cold, but Julie was on her knees working her just as hard as she'd worked me. When Julie started to get up I stepped behind her.

She knew it was coming, and giggled as my fingers teased her first. Pounding any woman when she's bent over in a hell of a visual. Pounding your wife's best friend, while she's eating your wife, that's almost too much. Even though Julie drained me earlier I knew it wouldn't last but I was determined to make her go first. Soon enough she was moaning, my wife started softly moaning in her sleep, and then I felt her shiver. Once I was certain she was going I decided to go for the gold. I used a wet finger first, then slowly worked my way into her ass. Her moans changed. I could tell she wasn't expecting that. So I pressed her head into my wife's snatch while I pushed harder into her ass. I'd wanted to give her a facial, but getting it in her ass was all I could handle. She purred as I drained my second load.

Obviously I'm typing this up this morning. Julie and my wife are still passed out and it's a little after 1pm. We'd all called in sick. Thinking about it I think it was a setup. My wife would never agree to a 3some, and Julie didn't seem all that blitzed. If it wasn't a setup then it sure seemed like it. If it was, then she got more then she expected!

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Anonymous
@random
03 Feb 2015 5:36AM
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Damien: Everybody hates me!
Mr.Mackey: Why do you suppose that is?
Damien: Because I'm the son of the devil!
Mr.Mackey: Uh huh that's a good start, why else?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaaah
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny! Dude, Kenny is dead.
Chef: Hello there children. Let me sing you a little song:
I'm gonna make love to you woman
Officer Barbrady: Well you ain't Fiona Apple,
and if you ain't Fiona Apple I don't give a rat's ass.
Reporter: What would drive a man to such a disgusting act?
Some Woman: My god that's disgusting!
Stan: Whoa dude, how do you have sex with a chicken?
Stan: At least im not a little pig fucker.
Cartman: God damn it!
Stan: Dude!
Kyle: Huh Sick
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah
Cartman: You get you bitch ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie!
Mr.Garrison: You got to hell!
Stan: You butt plug.
Kyle: Damn!
Cartman: Well screw you too.
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Sure Hun.
Cartman: Kick Ass!
Cartman: Hey, ill blow your freakin head off you peice of crap!
Mr.Mackey: I mean your one screwed up little kid, do you understand?
Cartman: He is a very disturbed little boy.
Ms.Cartman: You want some Cheesy Poofs?
Cartman: Yeah I want Cheesy Poofs!
Ms.Cartman: You can have a eensy weensy bit can't you?
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Cartman: Okay!
Ms. Cartman: I bought you some Cheesy Poofs and Happy tarts!
Cartman: God Damnit!
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Mr.Garrison: Dumb ass, what a retard!
Stan: You fat fuck!
Kyle: Screw You.
Stan: Dude.
Mr.Garrison: Don't be such a little wuss!
Officer Barbrady: Fruitcake!
Cartman: Bitch.
Wendy: No, I'm not acting like a freak!
Cartman: Well I was standing out in a field and I had this huge satellite dish
sticking out of my butt, and then there were hundereds of cows and aliens, and
then I went up on the ship, and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye!
Stan: What the hell are you talking about!
Mr. Garrison: There are no stupid questions, just stupid people!
Wendy: Barf is gross!
Cartman: Nobody gives a rat's ass!
Pippins: Lunchy munchy hmm!
Stan: Oh yeah? Well at least my moms not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!
Cartman: Damnit, would you shut the hell up?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Starvin' Marvin: Yeah I want da cheezy poof!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Hankey: Howdy Ho!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Cartman: Son of a bitch.
Jesus: Yay, believe in me, and ye shall find peace, the way is paved with gold for ye who seek truth!
Ring Announcer: Wearing very very black trunks...the king of all that is evil...
Towns People: Barbara Striesand, Barbera Striesand!
Barbera Striesand: I'm Barbera Striesand!
Chef: Barbera Striesand?
Leonard Maltin: Barbera Striesand.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby!
Leonard Maltin: Leonard Maltin.
Leonard Maltin: Sydney Potier.
Chef: Sydney Potier?!
Stan: Oh yeah.
B.S.: Your some little hick!
Stan: You ugly skank!
Cartman: Damn your black heart, Barbera Stiesand! Hey! Why dont you stop dressin' me up like a mailman, and making me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!

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Anonymous
@soapbox
03 Oct 2013 3:54AM
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I'm fucking pissed. I just found out that this US Marine that I've chatted with got arrested in a sting operation for soliciting sex with minors. We both have profiles on a site similar to this one and that's where we chatted. He wasn't too bright, obviously, but he was a sweet kid who is just a horny sexual libertine.

Some fucking douchebag Homeland Security agent created a fake profile on the site, told my Marine friend that he had a son and a daughter who he was raising as cumsults who loved to suck their daddy's cock and invited the Marine to come visit and join in. This poor, dumb kid thought he'd struck gold and had met a real father who was head of a sex-positive household and just wanted to join in the fun.

What the fuck is Homeland Security doing running pedo stings, anyway? Have the smelly foreigners from the part of the world where bedsheets pass as casual wear been so lacks in their attempts to kill Americans that Homeland Security are now the small town cops who hand out traffic tickets for trumped-up violations like they're goddamn Jehovah's Witness Watchtower pamphlets because they have nothing better to do? Last time I checked, the purpose of Homeland Security was to keep the camel jockies from committing acts of terror . . . NOT ARRESTING HORNY U.S. MARINES FOR TRYING TO GET THEIR DICKS WET!!!!

That poor boy's life is over.

Bastard fucking Puritanical cunt-sniffing Pat Robertson's-dusty-old-butthole-licking addlepated fart-huffing ignorant ass-backward mosquito-raping dickless fuck-face shit-eaters!!! It makes me wish there was a god, so that the judgmental, unethical twat-wrinkles that support this unjust justice system could rot in Hell for eternity, getting ass-raped by sperm whales.

Fuck You, Dickworms! Fuck you in your fat, fucking assholes!!!

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Anonymous
@confessions
15 Nov 2012 4:49AM
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hit up the strip club on the way home from work. I heard they had 2 for 1's and specials on VIP. They'd just remodeled the place, hired new dancers, and were trying to get people in. I'm all for titties but what I didn't expect was to see my neighbor on the stage. I know it's a down economy but holy shit. Part of me said walk, part of me said stay. It's a full nude and I really wanted to see Desi's rack so I stayed. When she made me her face went from shock to surprise to naughty smile, all in seconds. After her bit she slipped down and hit me up for a dance. I wasn't sure about it. Then she asked if my wife knew where I was. Desi just had to toss that in. Might have been a threat but the way she said it made me brush it off as play. We went back and forth a couple times and she knew with a DD rack I was already hooked. I got setup with the "neighbor price" for 4 song full nude in a private booth (hey might as well go for gold).

1st song, meh
2nd song, way hotter and a lot of joystick play. Towards the end she even went for some pants kissing.

DJ outside the curtains announced the break and a new chick on stage. I looked over at Desi and caught that naughty smile as she unzipped her purse. I thought she was going for gum until I saw the wrapper. She unzipped and wrapped me, smiling the whole time.

3rd song was a combination of her amazing hands, her huge tits, and an amazing tongue. Every time I looked down at that bobbing head I smiled. My wife knew her. I knew her husband. My kids played with her kids. And mommy was sucking my cock to pay for the Christmas presents.

By the 4th song she'd worked me so hard that the slightest touch could set me off. She used her hands to tease the wrapper off, then begged me to finish on her tits. I could have been nice, but I figured it'd be more fun to miss. The first splash went across her chin and nose. The second was neck and chest. The rest left a beautiful pearl necklace across those amazing tits. I smiled knowing she'd have some other sucker's face buried in those later.

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Anonymous
@random
27 Jul 2013 10:27AM
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My family works "under-the-table" for cash and as hispanics that's not a surprise. In june my uncle sent my cousin his daughter maria the hottest one out of all her sisters, basically the one everyone wants to fuck, to come work with us as punishment because she dropped out of her g.e.d adult learning school. She's petite, decent body but her face is gold, it belongs on a magazine cover. One random day she surprisingly started coming to work earlier so after a week I started coming earlier too to try my luck with her but instead I ran into her getting plowed by our cracker boss in his office who's like 6'5 and she's barely 5 feet tall. He had her pinned down in doggystyle, all I saw was some ass motion until he lifted up her work dress and pulled out. His cock was ridiculously pale white and long, he stroked it a few times and got hard again then put it back in her which only went in like 4 inches before she began to struggle. Her face was red and her veins were coming out all over her neck and forehead, she didn't like it and kept stopping. They were getting dress when he told her he had to go to the atm to pay her but she didn't even answer him. I woke up at 3:30am for over a month just to see her get pounded by that monster and this one morning about 20 minutes into it he was plowing her from behind when she turned around and stared at him then turned back and slowly began moaning. They stopped fucking and started makingout, for so fucking long that workers started checking in, he gave his phone number to her and just sent her out. I don't see them fuck in his office anymore I'm sure they meet up though but I still check once in a while and one time I saw him casually getting head from this stupid black lady that always comes in late. We have this cute little blonde working with us who ran away from home and just turned 18 so I stayed late peeking through his window and saw her sitting there with him nervously and eventually he talked her into giving him head, it was short but hot she was spitting out cum bubbles and stroking him at the same time. God knows how many female workers he's fucked with, he's the reason why I want to be the boss.

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Anonymous
@requests
09 Jun 2014 12:45PM
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guys. there's this video apparently making waves in ZA of a girl giving a guy head while crushing gold fish. i've going through the web looking for this bloody video and i cannot find it.

all i know is, it's part of the squishing nemo fetish, but that site just returns a black screen. i know you perverts out there have a neck for finding shit like this, any help?

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Anonymous
@confessions
02 Jan 2012 6:55PM
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I confess that I am a 26 year old male from London.

Up until New Years Eve I was a virgin. I am a bit overweight, not attractive in the best of lights. I am also quite shy, so not even confident enough to talk to the ugliest girl in the bar. The one thing I have going for me is my financial situation.

Being well off I had spent a few years flashing the cash in order to try and get a gold digger into bed, but it didn't work, so this New Years I decided to do something about my virginity and get an escort. I managed to find myself a really hot one (beautiful face and a killer body) and so after a bit of back on forth with STD tests and proof she was taking contraception I decided to book a GFE where I wouldn't use a condom.

I felt quite bad for her. Although she made a lot of money she must not have enjoyed it one bit. She started by sucking my dick. I hadn't masturbated for a few days beforehand because I wanted to see how many times I could get out of it. This only meant that I came within two minutes as I couldn't believe how mind blowingly amazing receiving head was. She swallowed my load which was hot because there was a hell of a lot of it.

I was quite nervous after that and couldn't really get hard enough to fuck her for a while, so she suggested I went down on her for a while. I absolutely loved how good pussy tasted, but really didn't know what I was doing and I could tell that she was faking her moaning. I then fucked her pussy which felt really good. After about 20 minutes of fucking her in as many different positions as I could get her into I could feel myself cumming and was scared that I wouldn't be able to get hard again afterwards, so asked if I could stick it in her ass.

It didn't feel as good as I thought it would. The sight of it in her butt was a huge turn on, but I could only go slow without it hurting my dick and was way too tight even with loads of lube (and I am not the biggest down below). After about 5 minutes of that I went back to her pussy and came inside her pretty quickly.

The next morning I fucked her again for a while and came on her face. There wasn't a lot of cum, but I wanted to try it and managed to splatter her a little bit. I then watched her shower before she left.

I can't wait for this weekend to try and get her over again.

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Thunderbolt1234
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@random
16 Feb 2014 11:36AM
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I didn't write this, I saw it in Playboy once, enjoy.

There once was a boy named Gimme-Some-Roy... He was nothin' like me or you,
'cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do.

As a kid, he sat in the cellar...sniffing airplane glue. And then he smoked banana peels, when that was the thing to do. He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola, he breathed helium on the sly, and his life became an endless search to find the perfect high.
But grass just made him wanna lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,
and the great things he wrote when he was stoned looked like shit in the morning light.

Speed made him wanna rap all day, reds laid him too far back, Cocaine-Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back.

He tried PCP, he tried THC, but they never quite did the trick. Poppers nearly blew his heart, mushrooms made him sick. Acid made him see the light, but he couldn't remember it long. Hash was a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong. Quaaludes made him stumble, booze just made him cry, Then he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high.

Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat...lived high up in Nepal, High on a craggy mountain top, up a sheer and icy wall. "Well, hell!" says Roy, "I'm a healthy boy, and I'll crawl or climb or fly,
Till I find that guru who'll give me the clue as to what's the perfect high."

So out and off goes Gimme-Some-Roy, to the land that knows no time, Up a trail no man could conquer, to a cliff no man could climb. For fourteen years he climbed that cliff...back down again he'd slide . . .
He'd sit and cry, then climb some more, pursuing the perfect high.

Grinding his teeth, coughing blood, aching and shaking and weak, Starving and sore, bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak. And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat,
As there in repose, and wearing no clothes, sits the god-like Baba Fats.

"What's happenin', Fats?" says Roy with joy, "I've come to state my biz . . .
I hear you're hip to the perfect trip... Please tell me what it is. "For you can see," says Roy to he, "I'm about to die, So for my last ride, tell me, how can I achieve the perfect high?"

"Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats. "Another burned out soul, Who's lookin' for an alchemist to turn his trip to gold. It isn't in a dealer's stash, or on a druggist's shelf... Son, if you would find the perfect high, find it in yourself."

"Why, you jive mother-fucker!" says Roy, "I climbed through rain and sleet,
I froze three fingers off my hands, and four toes off my feet! I braved the lair of the polar bear, I've tasted the maggot's kiss. Now, you tell me the high is in myself? What kinda shit is this?

My ears, before they froze off," says Roy, "had heard all kindsa crap; But I didn't climb for fourteen years to hear your sophomore rap. And I didn't climb up here to hear that the high is on the natch, So you tell me where the real stuff is, or I'll kill your guru ass!"

"Okay...okay," says Baba Fats, "You're forcin' it outta me... There is a land beyond the sun that's known as Zabolee. A wretched land of stone and sand, where snakes and buzzards scream, And in this devil's garden blooms the mystic Tzutzu tree.

Now, once every ten years it blooms one flower, as white as the Key West sky,
And he who eats of the Tzutzu flower shall know the perfect high. For the rush comes on like a tidal wave...hits like the blazin' sun. And the high? It lasts forever, and the down don't never come.

But, Zabolee Land is ruled by a giant, who stands twelve cubits high, And with eyes of red in his hundred heads, he awaits the passer-by. And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the river of slime, Where the mucous beasts await to feast on those who journey by. And if you slay the giant and beasts, and swim the slimy sea, There's a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards the Tzutzu tree."

"Well, to hell with your witches and giants," says Roy, "To hell with the beasts of the sea--
Why, as long as the Tzutzu flower still blooms, hope still blooms for me."

And with tears of joy in his sun-blind eyes, he slips the guru a five, And crawls back down the mountainside, pursuing the perfect high.

"Well, that is that," says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone, Facing another thousand years of talking to God, alone. "Yes, Lord, it's always the same...old men or bright-eyed youth... It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to tell them the truth."

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Anonymous
@confessions
10 Jul 2024 2:57AM
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I fucked my sis in law.

No, it is not what you think, the deed has happened long before I even met my wife.

She was 21 when I met her, and I was 28. I got some success early in my 20s, so she was just a girl in a club, a smoking hot blonde gold digger.

We both knew why we were into this, so I bought her purses, shoes, a watch, and it went on for almost a year - casual hook ups, once a week, rarely more frequently, and I used all my leverage - hard anal was almost always on the menu.

She stopped it, just ghosted me, I guess she found someone.

Fast forward five years, and I met my wife. Again, a blonde, two years younger than me, and, I was in love head over heels.

I was sure, from the very start, that this relationship had a future, and when I "met" her sister, oh man, it was hilarious. She was so nervous, couldnt look our way, and quickly excused herself.

I came clean to my wife (then gf), the very same night. I was opened about it, told her what happened, and that she must know that, whatever her feelings were. She demanded details of our thing, and I must admit, I fully understood she meant the lenght of our relationship, and similar stuff, but I came off awkward "not understanding the question", and told her that we did a lots of nasty stuff, including anal. I could see she was shell shocked, and she did take some time to reflect on this, but, after a week or so, she called me, and after we met, she told me that she is not ok with what happened, but that she understands that it is not my fault, nor it is hers. So we moved forward, slowly.

It was awkward at first, but through some time, things got more relaxed.

We never spoke of it again.

Seven years have passed since then, and the only thing I noticed is, after we spend some time with her sister, that night, the sex is always happening, and it is always steamy hot. And she is always the one initiating it.

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FamFun69
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@requests
28 Jan 2016 2:54AM
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Hi all, im looking for a video that use to be on here. Its a casting video at some guys house.

The girl is a skinny red head with piercing green eyes . She starts off by stripping and almost sucks cock before getting shy and getting dressed to leave. He ends up convincing her to stay and the rest is gold. If anyone has it or knows where i can find it i would appreciate the help.

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rolo_tamazi
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@random
10 Dec 2013 6:19PM
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Brooke

Sixteen-year-old Brooke steered her car into the parking lot
across the street from the convenience store, on her way to a
postgame football party with her cheerleading squad.
She was going to buy some sodas and chips to bring to the
party, but she had also wanted to sneak in a six-pack of beer.
Her parents didn't drink, so the only way she could get some
would be to shoplift the beers. She had done a small amount of
shoplifting before, and it was rather easy.
By parking across the street and carrying her large
cheerleading duffle bag into the store while dressed in her
uniform, it would give the appearance that she was walking home
following the game. Then she could buy the pop and chips, but
slip the beers into her bag, as well.
As she walked into the store, she smiled at the clerk, a
middle-aged man in his forties, who was working alone. She
browsed the snack aisle slowly, taking her time, as she picked up
a bag of chips. Then she sauntered over to the refrigerated
case.
As Brooke passed the beer rack, she looked toward the clerk
to see if he was noticing. He seemed to be reading something in
another direction, so she quietly slipped the refrigerated case
door open and deftly snuck a six-pack of beer into the partially
unzipped duffle bag. Then she scooted over to the sodas and
picked up a six-pack of those to pay for.
Brooke hadn't realized it, but the store clerk had been
watching her in one of the large parabolic mirrors, checking her
out in her little uniform, while she had slipped the beers into
her bag.
When she arrived at the register to pay for the sodas and
chips.
"Do you need anything else tonight?" the clerk asked.
"No," Brooke replied. "That should do it."
"Then what about the beers in your bag?" he inquired.
Brooke's face fell off.
"Shit," she muttered. She had never been caught before, and
never really thought about the consequences, since it had been so
easy.
Brooke slowly reached into the bag and pulled the beers out.
"Well young lady," he said. "I guess you're in some trouble
now."
He picked up the phone and dialed the police, who told him
they would be there in a couple of minutes.
"Okay, miss, just wait over there near the office door. The
police will be here in a couple of minutes."
Brooke wanted to cry. She had never really contemplated the
potential outcome, and now it was too late. And this store clerk
was going to take no mercy on her.
It didn't take long for the law to arrive. Two police
officers, one probably in his early forties and one who seemed to
be just out of training, walked into the store.
"You've got another lifter?" the older cop asked.
"Yep," he answered. "A kid, right over there next to the
office door."
The clerk pointed squarely at young Brooke, who wished she
could be anywhere but there at that moment.
The older cop got an eyeful of Brooke, and he could tell she
was scared.
"Well, we're gonna take her into the office for a while and
talk to her before we take her in," he told the clerk.
"That's fine," the clerk responded. "I'll be here in case
you need anything."
The older cop looked over at the younger one and smirked as
the two slowly approached young Brooke.
"Well, young lady, I guess you've found yourself some
trouble, huh?" the older office asked.
"Yes, sir," Brooke answered solemnly.
"Well, then, I think we'd better step into this office and
discuss the situation before we take you in," he said.
The officer opened the office door and ushered the three of
them in, carefully locking the door behind them.
"So," asked the younger cop. "What were you trying to
steal?"
"Beers," she simply said.
"This isn't the first time we've seen minors trying to steal
beer, either," he told her.
"So what happens now?" Brooke asked.
Knowing that the store policy was simply to take minors in to
scare them, but not to prosecute, the older cop figured to play
the situation for all he could get.
"Well, we're supposed to take you in to the station and book
you for shoplifting, then call your parents. They can bail you
out or let you spend the night in jail before you see the judge
tomorrow morning."
Brooke's eyes started to water.
"Isn't there any way you could just let me go with a
warning?" she begged. "My parents will kill me, and I'll get
kicked off the cheer squad, for sure."
"Well, that's not the policy," the younger officer told her.
"Sorry."
"Please?" she pleaded with teary eyes to both men. "I'll do
anything not to get in trouble for this. I've learned my
lesson."
The older cop looked young Brooke's sexy little body over.
She looked so hot in her little cheerleading uniform.
"Anything, huh?" he mused.
"Yes, sir," she said.
His eyes devoured the teenaged cheerleader. She had long,
wavy blonde hair, large and bright blue eyes and delicious-
looking lips.
Brooke wore a tight, body-hugging sweater. It was a V-neck
style, white on the top with a bulldog emblem for the local high
school across the chest. The emblem stood out impressively,
propelled by her two "C"-cup-sized breasts. The sweater was
black on the bottom half, with a four-inch-wide band of
bold/white/black/white/gold across the body of the sweater in a
similar "V" shape, just below the emblem, with the black initials
"MHS" in the white area between the "V". The same color pattern
extended across the back of the form-fitting sweater, as well as
the long sleeves.
Her skirt was black with sixteen inverted gold and white
alternating pleats. It hemmed out very high on her shapely
tanned thighs and nicely caressed her fine teenaged ass. A pair
of white kneesocks, with a black band around the top, and white
athletic shoes capped off her delightful uniform.
The older cop wanted her pussy, and this cheerleader seemed
very willing to do almost whatever she could to avoid trouble.
He glanced over at the younger officer and smiled.
"You're not thinking what I'm thinking, are you?" blurted the
other cop.
"Yep, I'm afraid I am," came his answer.
"What's going on?" asked poor Brooke.
"I think my partner has an option for you," the young cop
told her.
"Like what?" Brooke inquired, anxious for anything at this
point.
The older cop was straight to the point.
"Like we let you go, provided you let us both fuck you and
cum in that cute little mouth of yours," he simply offered.
Brooke simply looked at them both, absolutely stunned at the
idea of getting out of trouble.
"And then you'd just let me go?" she asked.
"Yep," the cop said.
"That would be okay, I guess," she relented. "Because I
don't want any trouble. It's just that I've never been fucked
before."
"Are you serious?" asked the younger cop. "A beautiful girl
like you?"
"No," Brooke answered. "I never had the guts to ask a guy
yet, and I guess they haven't, either."
"Well then," said the older man, "we'll just have to show you
how it's done."
"And you want to shoot your stuff in my mouth?" she asked,
wincing a bit at the idea.
"Definitely. And you would need to swallow it, too."
"I've heard it doesn't usually taste very good," she
commented.
"Well, that's part of the deal. We don't want to leave a
mess in this office."
"Okay."
"But we'll have to be pretty quick about it," the young cop
added. "Because that store manager will wonder what's going on.
And we'll have to be quiet, too."
Brooke nodded in agreement.
"Okay, then, sweetheart," the older guy said as he unbuckled
his trousers. "You can start by sucking on my cock."
Brooke just nodded and stepped toward the man to do as she
was told.
"And I'll fuck you from behind while you suck him," added the
young cop. "Just bend over for me."
Brooke looked a bit alarmed.
"You're not gonna put that thing in my butt, are you?" she
asked with concern.
"No, I'm gonna stick it in your pussy from behind," he
explained. "It's called 'doggy-style'."
Brooke snickered as the older guy fished his half-erect penis
from his boxers and offered it to the high school cheerleader.
Brooke took it in her hand and obediently placed it in her warm
mouth. Bent forward, she started sucking on it while the guy
fucked her mouth slowly.
She felt the other guy's hands as they reached under the
pleats of her little skirt. He pushed the pleats upward to
expose the tight gold cheerleading bloomers with her white cotton
panties underneath.
Brooke felt him grab the waistband of both pairs and tug her
bloomer/panty combination down her thighs, leaving them stretched
across her legs, just above her knees. He spread her kneesocked
legs for leverage and fisted his hard cock against her virgin
pussy lips from behind.
Her pussy was dry, so the young cop began rubbing her pussy
lips with his dick. It didn't take long to get the hot little
cheerleader nice and wet. Within a couple of minutes, young
Brooke's pussy was sopping with her own cunt juices.
By this time, Brooke had sucked the other cop big and hard.
His cock now filled her young mouth, and he began to pump in and
out of her lips. Brooke put her hands on her knees for rest and
support as the guy skull-fucked her with one hand grasping each
side of her head.
The young cop nestled the head of his prick to Brooke's love
tunnel and slowly pushed it in until it hit her maidenhead, the
thin membrane that marked her virginal state.
"Okay, baby, I'm gonna bust your cherry now," he told her.
"It'll hurt a little bit at first, but it'll go away."
He put his hands on the sides of her cheerleading sweater and
punched it through her hymen quickly. Brooke grunted as he
popped her innocence, but the pain quickly subsided.
"Okay, baby, that was it," he reassured her. "You'll be
fine, now."
The cop slowly pulled out, then slid it back in repeatedly,
each time giving the teen cheerleader about a quarter-inch more
schlong. Before long, he was able to fuck a good five inches
into her first-time twat, enjoying the ultra-tight fit of her
virgin pussy.
Poor Brooke was getting pumped from both ends simultaneously
as she was bent over in her sexy cheer uniform with her hands on
her knees.
"Stroke it with your tongue while I fuck that mouth of
yours," said the older cop.
Brooke tried as best she could to satisfy the man. After a
few minutes of double-fucking, the two men decided to switch
positions simply by having little Brooke turn around.
"I need to rest my mouth for a couple of minutes," Brooke
said. "My jaws are sore."
"Then I'll fuck you on this desk while you rest for my
partner," said the older cop.
As Brooke wiggled her cheer briefs and panties down to her
ankles and kicked them aside, he picked the cheerleader up and
placed her on the edge of the desk. Brooke lifted her legs,
placing the soles of her shoes on the edge of the desk, also,
wide to the sides.
The sixteen alternating gold and white pleats of her little
black cheer skirt spread nicely across the top of her thighs as
she presented her moist love treasure to the older cop. She
looked marvelous with her kneesocks cocked to the sides, inviting
the man to impale her with his saliva-coated cock.
He lifted the sides of her sweater and tugged the fabric high
on her chest, above her ample breasts, as he also lifted her bra
cups to let her mammaries free.
"Yeah, let's see those nice tits while I fuck you," he
blurbed, as he squatted a bit to put his cock in position.
Brooke smiled as she looked down and watched him push the
head of his prick between her pussy lips and gently slide it in.
She could feel his member fill her tight, warm snatch as he took
several fuck-strokes to drive the full length into the young
girl, mashing his pubic hair against her pink clit.
"Oh, yeah," he murmured. "Fits like a fucking glove..."
The younger cop watched, gently stroking himself, as his
partner hammered little Brooke's deflowered pussy gently but
firmly. Brooke's tits wiggled with each thrust as they dangled
beneath her cheerleading sweater and bra.
Brooke was really enjoying this now. She looked over at a
nearby mirror and was able to see the reflection of herself
getting fucked from a third-person perspective. It made her even
hornier.
The cop was only able to fuck young Brooke for a few minutes.
He had to stop for fear of blowing his load into her pussy, and
he didn't want his DNA filling the high school cheerleader.
"Fuck," he gasped, as he pulled out of her. "I've gotta
stop, before I blow my load in your cunt."
"It's my turn, then," said the younger cop, quickly, anxious
to dip his fleshy spear into her teen treasure again.
As his partner stepped aside, the young cop assumed the
position and was quickly fucking the teen cheerleader with a
frenzied pace.
The older cop could only watch as Brooke's long blonde hair
bounced around with her tits as his partner drilled her with
quick thrusts. He didn't even touch his cock, because he knew he
would blow his wad early. The excitement level was just too
much.
The young cop didn't last long, either, before he also had to
pull out.
"Okay, let's switch positions again, just like how we
started."
The two officers pulled Brooke down from the desk and
positioned her between them again, this time bent forward to
receive the younger guy's cock in her mouth.
Placing her hands on her knees again, Brooke opened her mouth
wide for her oral fucking, while feeling the back of her little
skirt being pulled up and the other cock entering her pussy from
behind.
The younger guy slid himself into her waiting mouth, and she
sealed her lips around him. The threesome continued the hot 'n
heavy action for another four or five minutes.
"I'm ready to shoot off," grunted the older cop. "How about
you?"
"Yeah, I think it's time," grunted his younger partner.
The two cops pulled out of the teen cheerleader.
"Okay," said the older one. Kneel right here between us,
hold your head back and keep your mouth open."
Brooke nodded and did as she was instructed. She was almost
completely out of trouble with the law now, and she knew she had
to keep her end of the deal.
"I'll go first," said the older guy.
He positioned himself between the girl's knees and put the
head of his cock on her tongue as he stroked himself.
"Remember, you need to swallow it all so we don't leave a
mess. Understand?" he asked.
Brooke nodded, as she waited for his creamy cargo.
"Aw, shit, here it comes," the cop grunted.
His cock splurted a load of thick, frothy goo into the
cheerleader's open mouth, sliding down her tongue to the back of
her throat. Again and again, he fired his spunk repeatedly into
her young mouth, and the obedient girl swallowed every bit of his
load without hesitation. After four or five salvos of steamy
cum, he squeezed the last of it onto the girl's tongue.
"Oh yeah, baby," he exulted. "You're such a good girl."
He stepped aside to zip up as his partner took his turn,
standing between the girl's knees.
"Hey, baby, stick your tongue out so I can watch it shoot
into your mouth without spilling a drop," he told her.
Brooke pressed her tongue against the underside of his cock,
keeping her head back and mouth wide open. It didn't take this
guy long, either, to give her a good, frothy drink.
"Aw, shit!" he exclaimed, as he shot his first wad of cum off
the roof of her mouth.
Another squirt of warm, creamy jizz followed, then another,
and another. Brooke's mouth was filling with the cop's spunk
faster than she could swallow.
"God, that's a load!" exclaimed his partner. "You're gonna
drown the poor kid."
The young cop kept on feeding the cheerleader his creamy
nectar, which pooled in her mouth. Brooke tried desperately to
gulp down the relentless flow of semen. Finally, the cascade of
cum slowed to a point where Brooke managed to swallow fast enough
to keep up. Mercifully, it trickled to a stop.
"Okay, baby, suck the last of it out, he told her.
Brooke sealed her lips around his cock and sucked as he
stroked himself down the shaft one last time, slowly squeezing
the last of his seed into the teenager's mouth. She felt the
last of his creamy goop as it hit her taste buds, and she
swallowed the last drops of it like a proper young cheerleader
should.
"Well, sweetheart, you've earned your freedom," said the
older cop, with a smile. "Just let us put you in the squad car
and take you a block away, so this store manager thinks we're
doing our job."
Brooke nodded as she pulled her bra and sweater back into
position, and then reached for her panties and cheer briefs,
quickly putting them back on. She smiled to herself, happy to be
out of trouble with the law, but also happy she had pleased these
men.

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@confessions
17 Aug 2012 7:00PM
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I confess that tonight I had the worst sexual experience of my life. This is the type of shit that happens in American Pie films and I really didnt think could ever happen to me. After spilling all of this out on paper I realized it is fairly long winded and I cant be bothered checking for mistakes, so Im sorry if there is any, plus I have put a quick summary at the bottom for all those who cant be bothered reading.

I recently started dating this really cute girl. She is rather stuck up and spoilt, but is fairly hot, so I thought I would give it a shot with her. Problem is, she is a virgin, so progress has been fairly steady as she wants to make sure she loses her virginity to the right guy.

She invited me around to her house today to meet her folks for the first time and text me earlier today to bring protection as she had a treat for me. I thought, sweet, I get to fuck her. I go to the shop and make a purchase of those numbing rubbers (I have only had sex twice, and for some reason thought it was a good idea to last for ages on her first time.) Anyway, so I rock up, meet the parents, sit down for a civilised lunch and then go upstairs for the magic to happen. Only when we get there, she tells me to not shut the door as her parents dont like her to have guys in her room while to door is shut. To make matters worse her Dad comes upstairs while Im perched on the end of her bed and goes into his room right next door to us, turns on the TV and starts laughing like I have never heard anyone laugh before to a show on the box. To make matters worse, her room is right opposite the bathroom and none of the doors are closed, so I thought, if he gets up and goes to the bathroom, he is going to walk across his daughter getting broken in for the first time.

Then I thought, maybe I got it wrong and maybe she didnt mean we would have sex, or maybe she didnt expect her Dad to be in the next room. But sure enough, she flicks on the tv, sits next to me and whispers in my ear you bring the condom? I tell her yes and she tells me to put it on. Right now Im freaking out, but dont want to pass up on this opportunity to fuck this girl, so whip out my dick and start stroking it. She watches me for a bit and then tells me to put the rubber on, but I tell her I have to be hard first. She tells me I can feel her tits to get hard, but only over her shirt. By now I just go with it, but think it is a bit weird she wont let me feel under her shirt if Im about to stick my dick in her pussy. I awkwardly feel her tits until Im hard and slip the condom on.


Once Im bagged up she gets on the floor and, as Im sat on her bed, begins to suck on my condom covered dick. It is hard to call what she gave me, as it didnt seem like any blowjob I have ever heard of. She didnt even fit the whole of my head in her mouth, just kind of sat there, completely still with the tip of it in there while she gave me the weakest handjob I could have imagined. With the condom on I couldnt even feel anything. Probably about 3 minutes go by with me pretending to be thrilled until she says am I going to make you cum? I just told her yes and to keep going, realizing that if she expects me to cum, she probably doesnt expect sex from me. Due to the sound of her Dad, her awful skills and the numbing condom, I decide Im never going to get off and just fake an orgasm. I whip the condom off and tuck my hard-on back into my pants and ask her what she wants doing with it, she tells me to flush it down the toilet.


I go into her bathroom and lock the door. What happened next... I am not proud of... and it makes me cringe to think about this, but I decided to skirt some suntan lotion I saw on the side into the condom. I dont know why, as no one would have seen it once it was down the crapper, but I did it in a moment that I will from now on refer to as the stupidest moment of my life. I throw the rubber into the toilet and flush, but sure enough it just bobs back up, I have to wait a minute until I can flush again, but it doesnt go down, third time isnt lucky and her dad knocks on the door and asks if I am alright. I panic, fish to condom out and drop it into the waste bin next to the toilet and leave. I tell the girl that it wouldnt go, and she freaks and tells me to get rid of it as her Mom disposes the trash. I go back into the bathroom and grab it out of the bin, then fling it out of the window. I look down into their backyard and realize it hasnt gone much of a distance and has landed right on top of a hedge in the garden which makes it easily visible to anyone looking out of the bathroom window. I think about going to get it, but I decide Im just going to make a dash. Thank her parents for their hospitality, say goodbye to the girl and then leave in a hurry.

Still trying to wrap my head around it. I can deduce two things... what should I do?

1. She was fine with the possibility of her Dad catching her, she is a bit kinky. She sucked my dick, obviously likes me and will probably let me fuck her soon. Im not going to get anyone hotter than her any time soon. Shes a keeper.

2. She is a freak who leaves her door open. It will be hard to fuck her with her parents around, so I got to get her to mine. She is pretty rubbish and inexperienced sexually. Her Dad will probably beat my ass to a pulp when he sees the condom on his hedge. Ditch the bitch.


Summary: Met hot girl > Went to hers and she gave me an awful blowie > Decided to fill a condom with lotion and flung it onto her garden hedge > Carry on going for that pot of gold or ditch and run?

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@requests
10 Jan 2013 8:37AM
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looking for an old funny porn fail video of two girls jerking off some guy.the funny part is him cumming and his eyes popping out of his head, red in the face making the most hilarious face/reaction ever. haven't been able to find it for years. it's gold though. thanks!

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@confessions
06 Nov 2011 12:53AM
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my daughter isn't a whore and we dont do incest. but if it was up to me i'd fuck the shit out of her.

she is pertty.19years old long black hair black eyes, light skin 5'9" tall 140 pounds. 34c-27-34 witch is skinny for a girl that tall. on a scale of 1 to 10 i'd give her a 8.8.

i have a friend hes good as gold. will bend over backwards to help anyone. not bad looking hes 44 years old and only had sex 1 time. we found that out a few weeks before. he admited it to us for some reason.

and my daughter found out the same day i did and she gives him hell over it rubs up aganst him just giving him a hard time. all in good fun. well after that night she didn't stop she does it every time he comes over now. i told her one day girl hes going to think you really want to do him. and try. then what are you going to do.

she laughed and said daddy if he wasn't your best friend i'd fuck him just out of pitty. but hes good looking to be older than dirt. i laughed and said hey kid hes younger than me. and she said i know.

a couple days later i ask her was you serious about fucking john. and she said sure. i told her lets call him to come over for a BBQ and a swim. and right after we eat i will go in the house and in a couple minutes i will come back out and say robert broke down and i need to go pull him home. and leave you 2 alone.

she looked at me and ask you wont get pissed and hold it aganst him. i said girl if sister mary was here i'd try to get her to fuck the poor man. we both laughed.

she pic'd up the phone and called him. and invited him to a BBQ and he said ok. i went with her to pic out her swim suit and i almost pic'd out a g string. but she has one pink one that always shows a great camel toe.

after we ate made small talk my phone rang it wasn't anything inportant. but when i hung up i told john i had to go pull robert in because he broke down. he wanted to go to but i told him no stay here with her and i wont be gone long.

i jumped in my truck and headed to robert's just to visit and i was there in 5 minutes and we was talking when my phone rang. i ansered it and it was lisa. she said john wont fuck her because of you and was about to leave. i told her to put him on the phone.
when he said hello i said john my daughter is hot dont you think. he said well well well yea. i told him to get naked get his dick and stick it in her mouth. and when it gets hard stick it in her pussy and fuck her and hung up the phone.

about 30 minutes later she called and said hes happy now you can come home. i told her when i get done with the races i will be there.
about 10 minutes later she called again and said dont come home hes ready again. this happend for about 5 hours call you can come home and call and say dont come home .

i finnaly went home and he was asleep on the lounge chair. i looked out the window and seen him sleeping i didn't know where she was at the time. but she was taking a shower. i walked out to the patio and kicked his chair and he jumped up and i yell what the fuck did you do to my daughter. he jumped back about 5 foot saying you told me to you told me to. i'm sorry man. he was almost crying. i tried not to but i started laughing so hard i thought i was going to pass out.
lisa came out and told him its ok hes the one that set it up in the first place. and NO it wasn't a pitty fuck. i liked you along time. BUT dont get me wrong it was just fun. and a one time deal. john said ok and ask me your was ok with this really.

it took us about a hour to prove it was ok and i wasn't going ot kill him.
after he left she told me that little 5'4" 125 pound man was hung like a horse. she said she found a tape and it was 8 1/2 and almost 2 inches wide the bigest she has ever seen. then she told me once he gave in and she started sucking his dick he came in about 2 minutes. and when it got hard again and they fucked he came in about 2 or 3 minutes but after it got hard again she had to stop him because he was about to rip her apart a few times.

then she ask me if she brought a friend over could they fuck him again or was it just a one time only deal.

so after we talked we made a deal she can fuck him and she can bring friends over too, but i dont want to be left out. and she said ok. sherry, denise,and cassy will fuck you in a heart beat. because they told her they would if you wasn't my daddy. infact i think most of my friends will they all love you. they say your the coolist dad ever.
so we will see.
WELL MAYBE SHE IS A WHORE

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15 Sep 2015 12:20AM
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Hi, my name is Jonas and I´m 25 years old. This is the Story of how I became a sissy. So actually my name is Jenny now. But lets not get ahead of ourselves. The story has a slow build up, I hope it´s interesting for someone. Thats part one, I will continue the story from time to time. Everything sexual in this story happens to people over the age of 18.

I guess it all started whit my mom being a gold digger. One of those women who have a pretty face and a nice body and try to make a living out of it. After a few years of being an escort, getting to know people, sucking the right dicks, getting bend over the right tables she eventually met some rich dude who decided to marry her. Not only was he rich, he was also quite old. He was perfect for her, rich, old and never married before, so no kids to inherit his wealth. Everything went according to plan, except for one tiny thing: me. The old man got her pregnant before he passed away four years later. I´m not really sure why she even told him, she could have terminated the pregnancy, but she didn´t. I guess she wanted to make sure he wouldn´t do something unexpected with his heritage, like giving it to charity or something. The only certain thing is, that she didn´t want to have me or better to actually take care of me. After my dad died she made sure I go to a boarding school as soon as possible. I guess I don´t get to bitch about her to much, she did make sure I would always get everything I need and never need to worry about money. Wont complain about that. Only thing I didn´t get were parents. But to be honest I didn´t miss it, can´t miss what you never had. My dad died so early that I can´t really remember him and my mom avoided almost any contact with me, especially after she got all my dads money. For her it was like her actual life started.

Well like I said, my mom sent me to a boarding school as soon as possible. Since I was six years old I spend most of the year at school. Only for a few weeks in summer I left school. But even then she often send me to some summer-camp or stuff like that. Well you get the picture. Arriving at school I had to figure out pretty soon, that I seem to have some sort of victim-aura. Bottom of the food chain, starting at day one. I guess everybody knows those clichés about boarding schools, and most of them are true. Bullys on every corner, teachers not noticing it or not caring about it. While in class everything is very disciplined, but as soon as school is out, that changes drastically. It´s not like I got beat up a lot or something like that, kids can be mean, but they don´t run around like some violent gang or something. They are just mean to you, play pranks on you, call you names, stuff like that. I guess they did it out of boredom, there wasn't much to do accept for chores and homework. I read books most of the time, most of the other kids got more creative than me. For me it was always: out of the classroom and to my dorm as unseen as possible.

That went on for a long time, but eventually I got my mom to have a heart and send me to another school. I was hoping to have a few last school years in peace before I graduate. I arrived at my new school a week before classes would start. Most of the other students would arrive in the next couple days. I got led to my dorm room, my roommate had not arrived yet. Its a small room, witch two beds, two tables and two dressers. There is a small bathroom, with a toilet and a sink. I started to unpack my stuff, when I finished I went to take a shower. Maybe I should describe myself a little at this point. I never was very tall, but going through puberty I got a small boost and got to 1,76 cm pretty fast. I have blond hair and at that time I didn´t really care about how it looked. It was kinda longish and tousled. There was never a lot of hair growing on my body, except for small bushes under my armpits and in my genital area, there wasn't much going on. No need to tell you that I didn´t need to shave my face. I shaved the rest of my body, I had no special reason to do it, I just figured it wasn´t much work and if I can´t grow a decent amount of hair, why have any? I weight something between 60 and 70 kg. So I wasn´t very skinny, but not fat or muscular ether. My dick is very small when it´s flaccid, I´d say around 5 cm. Erected it reaches unspectacular 13 cm. I had seen allot of other penises, because I always had to shower with other boys in my school, so I knew my penis wasn´t a highlight. But I didn´t really care, there were no girls around anyway and I convinced myself that size didn´t matter. I didn´t mention yet, but just like my old school, my new school is an all boys school. So I am in the shower washing myself, thinking about whats ahead of me. "I don´t wont to be the loser again!", this time would be different. I needed a plan. What did I do wrong last time, why did they all push me around? What was it that made me a victim?

Thinking about my new start at this school I didn´t notice that someone else had entered the shower room. The room was quite big and had several entrances, they all led to different dorm room departments. The shower room didn´t provide much privacy, there were no separating walls or something. Just some shoulder high walls to support the shower heads. Those walls also separated the room into six rows. There where no showers at the outside walls, they had hooks for towels, benches and stuff like that. So I didn´t notice the other guy until I was finished washing myself. I went to my towel and started drying myself. He didn´t seem to have noticed me either or he just didn´t care about me being there. At least he didn´t acknowledge my presents. I looked at him, he was taller than me at least 1,85 cm. Dark hair and unlike me not only on his head. He turned his back to me and I noticed how hairy his ass was. I knew you could have hair there, but had never seen such an hairy ass. I reached around to check my own hair growth on my ass, never thought of shaving there. No hair on my checks, but I fund some lonely hairs right around my asshole, they would be gone next time. Still drying myself up I took another look at the showering guy, he was now turned sideways to me, still not paying attention to my presence. He was soaping up his body, with my eyes I followed his hands sliding around his body. Eventually his hands reached his cock. I noticed his cock was semi erected. He started to slide his slippery hand gently up and down his penis. I noticed that his cock was quite large, now that it was fully erected it was at least 18 cm long. He started to stroke his forehead only, his foreskin was pulled back completely. I knew about masturbation and technically knew how it´s done, but I had never done it to myself or seen someone else doing it. Internet porn wasn´t that far spread at that time, especially at schools and I where never cool enough to get a good look at those magazines, that got passed around at my old school from time to time. So I never got really experimentive with my occasional hard on. So seeing him pleasuring himself got me hooked. I kept watching him. He poured some more soap on his cock with his free hand, while continuing jerking his forehead with his other hand. Even though I couldn´t here him over the sound of the shower, he sure looked like he made some grunting noises. He started to stroke faster and faster. Suddenly I noticed how my own cock got stiff. Quickly I put my towel on it to hide it. Doing that, I couldn´t resist to rub the towel agains my stiff penis a bit, pretending to dry my privet area. It felt nice, kinda ticklish. I looked back at him. He was still stroking his cock very fast, it seemed quite exhausting at this point. Additionally to jerking his cock he was now kinda twitching, meeting his strokes by making quick and small thrusts with his hips. Than he suddenly stopped, I froze too. Witch one hand grabbing the wall he threw his head back and kinda thrusted into his other hand, now holding still.

Now worrying about him, noticing me, I quickly grabbed my stuff and went to my room with my towel around my hips. I put on my pajamas and laid in my bed. My little dick was still kinda hard and I kept thinking about what I just saw. What fascinated me the most was what I had seen at the very end. I guess I envied him for his animalistic drive to pleasure himself. He must have known that he wasn´t alone in the room, but he didn´t care. He wanted to pleasure himself and he did, he took what he wanted, I never could do that, I did´t have the courage. The amount of pleasure his body expressed kept going through my head. I closed my eyes and saw him again in my mind. I saw him in those last few moments before his orgasm. He is sliding his hand up and down on his cock, all the soap making it slippery. I hear myself breathing heavy. Without thinking about what I am doing, I start to touch my body, reaching under my pajama top with one hand, caressing my tummy, gently fondling my boyish breast and nipples. My other hand finds its way into my pajamas pants. I start to slowly stroke my dicky, using my foreskin to glide over my forehead. The water is raining onto his body, his hairy chest is soaked in water, I remember him having a muscular body. I feel inferior, my breathing gets even heavier and faster, I intuitive start to move my hips. But not in thrusts like he did, I make slow, circuiting movements, stroking my cock faster now. His lags muscles are clenched from the effort he puts into thrusting into his own hand. He grabs the wall and throws his head back. I stroke my dicky as fast as I can. Now he is making his finale thrusts, satisfying his basic needs, he gets his relief and empties his balls onto the floor of the shower room. I let out a tiny moan and arch my whole body, experiencing my first orgasm, I shoot my load on my stomach and immediately smear it all over my smooth and hairless tummy, still orgasming. For a second I get the urge to lick some cum of my hand, but I hesitate and the urge passes. I curl up into a ball, holding my now flaccid cock and my balls in my hand, twitching a little. After my breathing calms down to normal, I get up, go to the bathroom, and clean myself up with a towel and some water. Then I go to bed and quickly fall asleep.

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02 Feb 2025 3:56PM
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Something I will never understand...
All the years I have seen so many types out there and was shocked there are some who on their profiles on the internet truly ask to be done like this and .... worse....

I have seen people want to be own,used,hurt,give all their rights over to another,be a servant,give all that make and own, they will care for and pleasure non stop who treats this this way.....

Why is it so hard to find others who would give and do all and take very good care of someone and all the above EXCEPT they just with to be truly loved,cared about,thought of,share interests,explore what's out there to share pleasure with who they place above them who sees all they do without expecting anything in return as truly amazing and brings emotions to their loyal love that makes a safe place to talk and share all ideas and dreams with no fear to see what can be shared and loved together.

I can not see treating someone making my life stress free and so amazing bad at all.
By all they do and with trust just hand over to me I must be loyal to them and do what's right with all of their being they give me....

By things I have seen and read how someone will just give them self at any time for the pleasure one the one who they are forever with, Why Is that not so amazing it drives the one getting all this to give love back in thoughtful ways?

I am not happy on the words next, it more of the actions....
Someone who would worship me,my body,anything I dream them to and they truly love to do so with all their being would bring a giving side of me out I can feel safe to show and do.

Take say a total submissive man for a dominate woman.
I have seen the men say they will work and care for everything and she controls it all.
I read where some say they need someone to guide and help them make choices but turn it all over to her.
The guys I read of are sweet,shy,loving,giving and even if they are huge it does not change their soft,warm,sweet,giving nature.

What ever the race or gender who is like that....
Why only for dominate people who returns all they do with degradation and pain that shows like the pic?

I read dominate posts of their life and all that's done for them including any nasty and kinky thing one can think of to please them as ordered.....

Why could some one just be asked if they would do something and be that amazing at it that someone like me wants to show I care too and show it in return.

Could someone trade the hurt and shame in for me wanting to hold them close with my arms around them and truly have emotions for them they can feel and see?

Could they be shocked and happy I out of the blue sit next to them and just softly touch them and want to try and be so soft it feels nice where I glide my touch and hands?

If I patted my lap and they sit on it, I slowly put one hand open to cover as much of their pubic skin as I can and touch their cock or clit (yes a true one and not a dick) having light pressure like a hug while my other traces light light air many places on their body?

What if all they pleasure they do like give oral just because I am there and they want to please me brings the safe feel I am giving to someone freely and not to a dominate who takes and never gives?
What if someone as amazing as they are brings a urge to do the same for them?

What if the normal they want is for me to close my eyes as they slowly give oral and keep me on edge till I cum and keep going swallowing it all and licking my shaft and all clean and slowly touch and off and on give oral and make me cum many times even dry cum...

What if that giving and not taking makes me ask if they can move to where I can also give oral or touch them in their pleasure areas also?

If they normally smile and ask I let them please me then I would want so bad to please them too...

They could see it in my emotions...

I would try and see if they wanted oral just out of the blue any time too...

But I need them to at times let me please them as they please me.

Doing for me from love and their needs and wants builds mine to feel the same to them.

Some times they could see in my pleasure I was also sad. They should always ask if they see something in me like that...
In this case I would tell them I truly want to share love with them as they are so giving and amazing..
I feel bad I can not give to them at the same time....
I hope they see I have real care and feelings for them....
I hope they let me...
I would love 69 with someone so great.
I would love to pleasure them too.
I would love for them to be in my lap my arms around them and touching them all over wanting them to relax and love all I am doing for real and never faking it.

Say it is a male or trans who never wants to change having a penis.
Say by being so giving as I find submissive's can be to others that I feel safe to let them do something that alone I have found arousing and know I can trust them to lovingly care for my body.

I ask they slowly clean all of me while touching in a way to give pleasure and they clean me out in a way giving me pleasure... Then slowly shave my pubic area while gliding a soft hand checking for stubble and working to make me smooth with love... The touch I feel when I do that makes me hard and my skin starts to tingle where touched and feels so good.

They then do the same to the balls...
My hair is thin there and can bee so soft and smooth when shaved and have places that tingle if lightly touched even of my balls are being held in my hand snug and gliding fingers in the middle and all over.

Then the taint area..
Touch there has areas that feel great too...

Then the area I protect the most and only deep trust can bring me to let them shave there (this is after cleaning out at the start) also and feeling the touch as they play and see how my body reacts...

They care for the skin in all the areas and use what ever keeps the skin soft and nice....

If time was taken and done with so much love and care I will be so badly ready :)
Might even see pre-cum (I hope they like to touch and suck their finger my pre cum as that's a turn on.)

I hope doing all that aroused them and they are so hard seeing I could cum with a gust of wind... :)

If they ask if they can give anal... A firm YES would always be what I would say :)

If they go slow and we can feel our bare skin touching as they are in my warm and moist (and might be getting tighter) anus and I cum and they feel my orgasm and it turns them on more, I want them to let me know when I get control over my anus how I can grip to feel even better to them.
They were so great for caring for may areas and pleasing me that I need to give pleasure and need them to orgasm in me as I do all I can to being the best feelings I can to their making love to me...

I would always like when they orgasm that they go as long as they can and when they know they can not much more then slide in more and try to stay in me as my warmth around them they feel as they contract to try and stay hard..

I hope I can feel them :)

If they get hard again I want them to go again...and as many times as they can...
I hope to orgasm many times but I am giving my anus for pleasure for all they do for me.

I will never be giving to an alpha or Dom that does as so much porn shows like that's the only way...

I am not submissive and will not be taken from.
I am different.
My best friend says with a smile I am like her but sweet.. I am her equal and inside me is some rare form of a dominate female bisexual like her (shes bi but knows I am pan and can love anyone who loves me greatly).

I have no clue so I will go with what she says... :)

I have limits....
But some I may bend if done with care.
Scat is a hard line with that bend......

Say if during cleaning and they WILL NOT smear it anyplace and keep it away from my sight and local to the anus area... Well.... If it would please them then they can give anal when I have not been cleaned out fully....

I want them to be happy and makes out bond even stronger and unbreakable...

Just care and keep as clean as possible and clean me well outside and in after please :)

I hope they love letting me feel the warmth of giving them anal...
Sadly I need it clean as I have fears I somehow over come and truly want to give anal as it is...
I hope being giving that out of the blue they run to me with nothing on and smiling, take me by the hands and lead me to our soft bed and play area :)

They undress me and do all they can to get me hard fast....
They then get on the bed and tell me they got cleaned up and need me to take them...
They bend over and pull their anus open and know see it like that and so clean turns me on greatly...

I never want to hurt so I slowly slide my way in bit by bit till fully....

I want them to guide me so I do not hurt them...
Faster? harder? how can I make love and not hurt....

As they let me know I make love to them and after orgasm try contracting to stay hard.
My wish is to get hard again and make love in a way they orgasm....

There are times I want them to not just want me to take them in a loving way...
I want to be on my back and they slowly take me in to them....
They pull their anal lips open and sit on my pubic area getting all of me that can penetrating then :)
Once all their weight is sitting on me I ask they move forward to find how far they can and keep me firmly in and will not pop out by moving foreword too far... I can help guide them.... Once they find how far forward and back thay can go then I want them to adjust for THEIR pleasure.
I want them to ride me this way for their pleasure...

If someone says you can not feel pleasure if you want them to do it all in a way it feels best for them then your silly... A dick can get pleasure from anything and that's just how it works :)

To see them feeling pleasure, to have them put my hands where they need them and do what feels great to them... To feel them get tight as time passes, to see their body and all react to what we are sharing would make my heart pound :)
I want them to feel pleasure from anal...
I want to give this just as they give to me...
I want them to edge if they wish on the edge of cumming...
I will see the pre cum and as they have not given anal to me yet, I will take the pre cum with my finger and suck it off and return for more.....

I want to feel and see their body...
I want to last..
I need to...
Sometimes I will ask if they want me to hold the tip tight to keep their cum inside and I hope they do at times.....

I need to and would love to feel them tight and need to not move as much to keep me in...
I need to feel their orgasm around me....
I want to see the pleasure in their body and eyes....

When they have fully finished our share orgasm and they wanted me to hold the tip closed...
(note... I never said I had to cum when I want them to be pleased by anal..)
They slowly lift off and take my fingers place holding their cum tightly in their cock....

I can now take that clean cock and place my fingers around and push the cum back so they can let go....

I take the head into my mouth and let go and swallow and also between their legs milk all the cum to the tip as I suck hard and I lick the head and under the head taking all they have till dry....

They also do that for me when the other way...

Add all this and the other deep desires and ideas into a normal life of shared likes and anything we do together and have a bond no one can touch.....
I want a full relationship and shared interests and all they give me to have I need them to be equal in what goes on and the best ideas are followed....

I want it to be US,shared,together, for each other,always.......

So.....
Why being so many types out there of all races and genders who call them self many things and place them self always below and gives all they have..........
Why not someone out there all that but needs someone like me to be submissive to?

Am I not worth all they would give others?

I am over 50 and have been the rock for family and all in need so I find I have nothing to give but what I am...

I know I can never be used or dominated or done as I see others done...
If my best friend treated me as she does her gays and girls then we would NOT be best's in the first place.

She needed someone and I was there to give my heart and shoulder to.
Never had she needed anyone or cried in pain.
No one had ever cared and so in her life she said she just is what she is but I broke past that.

I am her equal and she is mine...

If in this world so many things can be as they are then why not someone to be my mate I dream of and would fit in where I fail and I fit in where they fail.. You know.. We complete each other fully...

I can only feel a safe place for my nature with someone who never take advantage of it or let harm happen to it...
I hide many emotions and feelings so no one can use them...
I truly need someone like me...
Great love,compassion,respect for ones rights and self,feelings for others,smart,imagination,strong will to now sway and loyal to who they made the choice to be with and keeps that choice through anything and adapts to what ever...

AND never picks a side who would not support them if they are good souls ONLY because of extreme dogmatic ideas and so on.

I am sad my belief has been used to make excuses for hate...
I went on my own and looked deep at every page and in order of history not how it is printed...
Please do not dump all I say before thinking first....
If seen in true light, It shows I am not them...

I am Christian...
That means the last word on all is Jesus and not the Bibles history...
He care for people and broke old laws.....
I looked at all on my own ant let his acts make my morals...

I am my own faith and will rub so called ones backing hate the wrong way...
He protected a prostitute from Bible law...
That should have been the first sign some things were off that man thought he heard and should be clear is not should have done..
Some feels added..
In one place someone said making good on doing something to another with gold is fine... No way..
Can not buy your way to being moral and free of doing wrong...
That has to be bull...

All can be found if one looks....

I will not risk others...
I will do whats right..
But do not see me as others...
All who do no harm and do not step on others rights are fine with me what ever race or gender...
Your actions are what will change my mind...

Any being who will love me forever how I wish and how I love them has a chance :)

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19 Oct 2016 9:31AM
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I met donald trump once, he was fighting fit in a gym with a couple of trainers, he was boxing them, and giving them a run for their money. he was lightnign fast and jabs that snapped their heads back a couple of feet each time. in the end, they had to call time out because they were wrecked, and the donald laughed like a man, patted them on the back and said they did a good job and gave them all cheques for $1000 for the workout.

there's a man's man, i said to him, from whom nothing is withheld.

the donald grinned at me and said that he liked the cut of my jib, and would i like to grab some pussy with him. i said no, i don't entertain that kind of locker room chat, even if it is just banter and we all respect women as women. the doanldo high-fived me and said yes, women are people and deserve respect and good behaviour, i was just joking about grabbing them by the pussy, even if they are beautiful and i am attracted to beautiful and sometimes just start by kissing them.

i laughed and said, you know what donald, you are alright, you are not afraid to laugh at yourself and have a joke, you are a billionaire with a heart of gold, i think you should run for p******** and show these politicans what a real man would do for this country.

the donaldo looked at me and said, yes, you are right my friend, i WILL run for p********, and when i am done the country will look like one of my hotels.

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14 Apr 2011 1:06PM
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Women often say that they are oppressed. oppressed? HOW?!
You have more fucking rights today then you ever have. If you have children you don't want your not expected to raise them. And if you do want them there's support from the government/birth father.
If you want something you either just have to complain, cry, or wiggle your ass till you get it. Which I'm sure many of you are bitching now, "Oh see? If men weren't such pigs we wouldn't have to act like that!"
You never fucking had to in the first place! Last I checked there was a time when men went out of their way to make a woman feel comfortable and safe in public.
Now a days women are so frigged and bitchy that men don't even want to try, they just go for whatever bitch is the easiest or the most docile.
Now your probably saying, "Well what about porn? Men objectify women in porn!"
Yeah, we do. But who keeps getting into the fucking porn business because of daddy issues and because they fucked around in high school? Women!
No one put a fucking gun to your head and said, "Do porn or I kill you!"
If you want men to take you seriously, then stop putting yourselves in these fucking stereotypical situations of the victim, the slut, and the hooker with the heart of gold. Your better then that. At least I hope you are.

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24 Apr 2011 7:27PM
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A dog Named 'Sex'

When people buy a dog, they usually name him something like Rover or Bowser. Well I chose to name my dog "Sex". But lately Sex has been a little embarrassing to me.

I remember one day I took Sex to City Hall to get a license for him. I went up to the clerk and said "I would like to have a license for Sex". He said he would like to have one too. I said "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old". He said I must have been quite a kid.

Last year they were auditioning dogs for a commercial on dog food. I took Sex to the studio to see if he would get the part. But suddenly Sex started to run off around the studio. I went after him, but the crew manager grabbed my arm and asked what I was doing here. I told him I was hoping to have Sex on TV. He called me a showoff.

One day Sex ran out on me in the middle of the night. I went around the neighborhood looking for him. A cop came and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up this Friday...

================

Baked Beans


Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved then. but he always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to them. Then, one day, he met a girl and fell in love with her. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she is a sweet and gentle girl and will never go for this kind of carrying on. So, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up the beans. The were married thereafter. Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and since they lived in the country, he called her and told her that he would be late getting home because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the odour of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured that he would work off any effects before reaching home, so he stopped at the cafe. Before leaving, he had eaten three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, he put-putted and after arriving, felt reasonably sure that he had putted his last. His wife seemed somewhat agitated and excited to see him and exclaimed: Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner

tonight. She then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. He seated himself and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him vow that he would not touch the blindfold until she returned. Then she went to answer the phone. Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg. He took the napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air around him.

Things had just about returned to normal, when he felt the urge come on again, so he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a true prize winner. While keeping his ear on the phone, he went on like this for 10 minutes, until he knew the phone farewell indicated the end of his freedom. He placed the napkin in his lap and folded his hands on top of it and smiling contently to himself was the perfect picture on innocence. When his wife returned she asked if he had peeked and he said no. At that point, she removed the blindfold

and revealed his surprise.


Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a birthday party for him.


====================================


Gold dig

In a mining district, Mrs. Brown presented her husband with a 12 pound baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted that he went to the newspaper office and told them that he had found a 12 pound gold nugget, as pure as any in America. Naturally, the newspaper sent a reporter to the house to get the story, as anyone would do, and everyone was prospecting for gold in the little town. This is what happened.

Reporter: "Does Mr. Brown live here?
She: "He does."
He: "Is he in?"
She: "No."
He: "I understand that he found a nugget of gold weighing 12 pounds."
She: (Seeing the joke) "Yes, he found one."
He: "Can you show me the spot where he found it?"
She: "I'm afraid Mr. Brown would object as it is private."
He: "Is the hole very far from here?"
She: "No, it is quite near."
He: "Has Mr. Brown been working the claim long?"
She: "No, only about ten months."
He: "Has he reached the bottom yet?"
She: "No, but he is very near."
He: "Was Mr. Brown the first to work it?"
She: "Well, he thinks he was."
He: "Has he been working the claim regularly since he found it?"
She: "No, but I told him last night it was time to start again."
He: "I suppose he works it secretly?"
She: "Yes, mostly every night."
He: "Do you help him?"
She: "I do my best."
He: "Do you think he will sell the claim?"
She: "I doubt it, he gets so much pleasure out of working it."
He: "Did he blast it out with nitroglycerine?"
She: "No, he used Vaseline and kept digging."
He: "Has he widened the hole any?"
She: "Yes, a little."
He: "How big is the hole?"
She: "Well, about normal size, I suppose."
He: "Is he going to improve the mine any?"
She: "Yes, he said he was going to white wash the shaft tonight."
He: "Does he work alone at night?"
She: "No, I hold it for him and we split 50/50."
He: "Is he an expert at it?"
She: "Well, he does good work."
He: "Would you mind showing me the gold nugget?"
She: "Certainly." (Then she brought out the 12 pound baby boy and they carried the reporter to the hospital.)

====================================

How to Kill a South Dakota Eel

Little Johnny was 11 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.

One day he took his questions to his mother who became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtain one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did the following morning. Here is what Johnny described to his mother:

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured sis must be getting sick, because her face started to look funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like a doctor would except he is not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. Sis must have put some bigger fruit under her blouse this time because her boyfriend kept on saying how they were the largest melons he had ever felt. He must of gotten real hungry from all that kissing and stuff because she let him take off her blouse and suck on both of them for a long time."

"Then he started getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them were panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting cold, because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. Then this was when the fever really started. I knew it was a fever because sis told him she felt really hot. Finally I found out what was making them so sick. A big eel had gotten in his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 12 inches long! Honest! Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it, she really got scared. Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she had ever seen. I should have told her about the one at the lake. Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill it by biting its head off. All of a sudden she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he got a muzzle out of his pocket. He slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting her again. Sis laid back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it, and he helped by laying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight! Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. They must have been getting shocked by the eel because they were shaking a lot. After awhile, they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they had killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp, and some of the insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were tired from the fight, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again, and by golly, the eel was not dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats; they have nine lives or something. This time, sis jumped on it and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After a long fight, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead because I saw sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet."


====================================


Barbara Walters at the Indian Reservation


Barbara Walters is doing an editorial on Indian life on the

reservation. She looks around and sees that some of the men have one

feather, some have two and the chief has feathers all the way down to

the ground.


So she asks a young brave, "What do the feathers mean, some of you have

one, some have two and the chief must have hundreds!" The young brave

replies, "Each feather is for each squaw we have sex with!"


To which Barbara Walters replies, "Come on, I don't believe that!" She then goes to the chief and repeats the question, "What do the feathers mean, some of you have one, some have two and the you must have hundreds!"


The chief replies, "It's true, each feather is for each squaw we have sex with!" Astonished, Barbara exclaims again, "But you have hundreds!" The chief replies, "Me chief, me fuck em all, big, fat, skinny, tall, me chief me fuck em all!"


Barbara exclaims, "You should be hung!" The chief replies, "Me hung, big like buffalo, long like snake!" "Oh dear!", exclaims Barbara. To which the chief replies, "No fuck deer, asshole too high, run to fast!"


Hope you enjoy this one, it's much better told verbally.


================


Law as it should be

One evening after attending the theatre, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they

observed a rather well dressed and attractive lady walking just ahead of them. One of the men

turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $50.00 to spend the night with this woman." To their

surprise the young lady overheard the remark and turning around she said, "I'll take you up on

that." She had a pleasant voice and a neat appearance, so, after bidding his companion good

night, the man accompanied the lady to her apartment, where they immediately went to her

apartment where they immediately went to bed.

The following morning the man presented her with $25.00. As he prepared to leave she demanded the

rest of the money stating "If you don't give me the money I'll sue you for it." He laughed saying

"I'd like to see you get it on these grounds."

The next day he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as

defendant in a law suit. He hurried to his lawyer and explained the details of the case. His

lawyer said: "She can't possibly get a judgement against you on such grounds, but it will be

interesting to see how her case will be presented."

In court after the usual preliminaries, the lady's lawyer addressed the court as follows: "Your

Honour, my client, this lady here, is the owner of a piece of property, a garden spot surrounded

by a profuse growth of shrubbery, property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specific

length of time for the sum of $50.00. The defendant took possession of the property, used it

extensively for the purpose for which it was rented, but upon evacuating the premises he paid

only $25.00 which is only half the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive, since it is

restricted property, and we ask judgement to be granted against the defendant to assure payment

of the balance."

The defendant's lawyer was impressed and amused at the way the opponent had presented the case.

His defense, therefore, was somewhat altered from the way he originally planned to present it.

"Your Honour, my client agrees that the young lady has a fine piece of property, that he did rent

such property for a time and a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my

client found a well on the property, around which he placed his stones, sunk a shaft and erected

a pump, all labour being performed personally by him. We claim these improvements to the property

adequately compensated for rental of said property. We therefore, ask judgement be not granted."

The young lady's lawyer come back was this: "Your Honour: My client agrees that the defendant did

find a well on her property and that he did make improvements such as my opponent has described.

However, had the defendant not known the well existed, he would never have rented the property,

also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft and

took the pump with him. In doing so, he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery, but

left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making it easily accessible to

little children. We therefore, ask that judgement be granted."

The judge's decision was that the defendant should either pay the plaintiff the $25.00 balance,

or, failing that, that the defendant should detach the aforementioned equipment and present it to

plaintiff for damages.

The man hurriedly wrote out a check for $25.00 to the young lady.

Case dismissed.

=============

The Old Boat

Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated
boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his
boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He
spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from
the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of
the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died
suddenly in his absence.

When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few
things at the grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him for
John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel
terrible."

Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no!
Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old
thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she
smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had
a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too.
Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like
crazy."

"I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to
those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she
wasn't very good and that she smelled bad. But they wanted her
anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and
she split right up the middle."

The old woman fainted.

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@confessions
05 Aug 2011 3:57AM
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My wife's brother is getting married next week. My wife's from a conservative family so the whole thing is going to be a big ass production. What the family never knew is that she is a total freak, and i have a feeling the new bride is too. The new bride, Jill, is a total knockout. She's easily EE, with a small heart shaped ass, nice legs and a beautiful face. Of my brother in law isn't tapping that he's gay.

I have a frequent buyer card at a local sex shop. We buy all sorts of fun things. So it didn't bother that I'd be walking around with a purple collar, until I turned around and almost knocked over Jill. She was just as stunned as I was and turned red in an instant. She tried to play it off for the bachelorette but she was holding a purple ball gag. She points to the collar and makes this awkward joke about my wife being wild and needing a leash. Not wanting to miss out I ask if she's ever been gagged before. She smiles and says she has a few things she wants to try on. I know I should have left but she is fucking amazing. She gets this nurse outfit easily a couple sizes too small and runs to the changing room. A couple minutes later she walks out holding her chest asking me to zip up the back. Once I got it on she asks if I think Dylan would like it. If my brother in law doesn't he's gay. Then she asks if my wife has ever been a dirty nurse. I start to say no and she brushes my crotch saying I seem to like the look. She asks for help unzipping before walking back into the changing room.

Up next is the bad cop. The tight fuck me shorts really hugging her ass and that blue shirt about ready to pop some buttons. This time she prances around a bit and purposely bends over before looking over her shoulder. Hell yeah he better like it. Gee Mike your shorts seem to be getting tight... fucking tease.

Her last outfit is a purple corset with the collar I was holding and a leash she'd picked up. I don't know how she was breathing but her tits were fucking stacked. She had her sweatshirt wrapped around her waist and asked if I wanted a real show. I look over at the clerk, I know the guy, he nods and heads to lock the door. She drops her sweatshirt and my pants shrink. I guess she'd worn a black thong expecting to try on this outfit. She didn't even need to ask if I liked the look. So she drops on her knees and crawls to where I'm sitting in stunned disbelief, leash dragging behind her. Once she's in front of me she uses my legs to pull herself up, pausing at that perfect position before winking and getting up. Fucking bitch, I should go now. As I get up she lays on the bench and puts the ball in her mouth... fuck... Dylan better appreciate this freak. I go to leave and she grabs my hand and leads me back to the changing room.

I thought I might see some cleavage. I didn't expect her to grind on me. Thankfully she unzipped me before I blew a load down my pants. She brushed her thong on me a couple times and then slowly backed into me.I'd never fucked in a sex shop. I dropped the top of her corset as she slid down on me. When I looked over her shoulder I saw the mirror, and the ball gag in her mouth, and almost blew my load. The smile on her face, fucking slut... she was enjoying this. I bent her on the bench and dicked her hard. I even pulled her hands behind her back, making her hold her own ass cheeks open as I drilled her. When I heard her moaning I decided to go for the gold. I slowly pulled out and then started working her ass. She winced a couple times, real tight, but eventually I was in. I went slow at first, finally getting rougher when I saw her hold her own cheeks wider. We both heard people in the store and that just made it hotter. Finally I pulled her down, balls deep. She reached back and clawed my thighs as I blew my entire fucking load in her ass.

She didn't even bother to clean up. I zipped up and she just put her clothes back on. It wasn't awkward until it was over I guess. I walked her to her car, and tried not to smile when she made a face while trying to sit. A couple days later we were all at dinner at the parents. I had to fight back a laugh when she sat down and made another face... guess I really fucked her ass up.

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@soapbox
07 Aug 2011 9:22PM
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Heres a fact. US credibility hasn't been downgraded since 1917. And the S&P chief executive didn't rule out more downgrades in the NEAR future. The European Central Bank has agreed to buy Italian and Spanish, another bailout. Last week, Carlos Slim, the richest man in the world, lost $6.3 billion. Bill Gates lost a couple of billion as well. In the 3 years since the first recession and credit contraction, political leaders haven't addressed and solved the underlying causes - and now we're heading for a double dip recession. This is bad. At a time when political leaders think that they've utilized every solution and resource available (bailouts, stimulus packages, endless tax cuts, quantitative easing, low interest rates) to help combat and stave off the worst of the worst - none of it has worked! We have to bear in mind that the solutions aforementioned were all policies which adhered strictly with free market neoliberal economic philosophy. Therefore we MUST come to the ultimate understanding that the CAPITALIST economic system is not only failing, its DEAD!!!! The only thing keeping it alive is a massive global transfer of wealth from the global poor and dispossessed to the ruling elite, the few owners of the means of production and of finance thereof - the same way a nearly dead human being is kept alive by a respiratory machine and chemical inoculation. This economic system is in permanent decay.

In the words of Leon Trotsky "The system is rotten ripe for revolution"

Those of you who think that investing in gold and ammunition will stave off the worst - well I'm sorry - but you are sadly mistaken. YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD if you actually believe that.

Those of you who unfortunately fall victim to racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic beliefs are further assisting the rich capitalist ruling class in the plunder of the worlds resources including ourselves as the human race because we are a resource.

Protests are occurring all over the Middle east and Eastern Europe with more to come. Riots are engulfing the UK slums as the masses of poor and disenfranchised youth within a generation are responding back against a system that has long forgotten their aspirations and immediate needs in the pursuit of profit accumulation and "financial stability".

Without a doubt the next economic crisis which is seemingly around the corner unfortunately threatens to be a massive and quite possibly one of the worst- if not the worst - the world has ever had the unfortunate circumstance of having to endure.

Bailouts will continue uninhibited - and in return - drastic and deep austerity measures will be adopted and executed by all national governments respectively - all large in number. The social ramifications stemming from such large transfers of wealth from the poor to the ruling elite will be too much to bear.

Indeed, we are approaching a quite peculiar yet extremely severe stage in class society. A stage in which economic stagnation intertwines with continuous war and authoritarian rule. Whilst we remain engulfed in anti life mentalities such as individualism "every man for himself", we risk the stage yet again of - THE DARK AGES!

Yes! I kid you not! THE DARK AGES ARE HERE AGAIN! The same that afflicted past empires such as Ancient Egypt and Rome, where civilizations fell over the course of centuries. We are now approaching this periodic epoch within class society of social barbarism.

So what are we going to do? Will we continue to decline as a global civilization, or will we finally come together as a race, a human race, and overthrow these social parasites known as the capitalist ruling class, and establish a society in which planetary resources are distributed equally throughout the globe enough to provide the means of sustenance necessary for every individual with the physical and mental capabilities to reach their highest aspiration?

It's up to us

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@funny
12 Oct 2011 12:54AM
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1. Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it's never used.

2. Why are men so happy?
Because ignorance is bliss.

3. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a
women?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already
there.

4. If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same
time,who would reach the ground first?
The woman, the man would get lost.

5. How are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both
last about 60 seconds.

6. How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a woman in a
bikini.

7. What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

8. What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.

9. What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

10. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.

11. What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.

12. If men got pregnant ....
Psychiatric Services and serious pain killers would be available
in convenience stores and drive-through windows.

13. Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the
Olympics?
He had it bronzed.

14. What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.

15. How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake
the stove.

16. How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable."

17. Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

18. What does a man consider to be quality time with his wife?
Pulling the sheets over her head and saying, "Great chili, Babe!"

19. A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of
35 think of?
Dating children.

20. What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

21. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

22. Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

23. How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

24. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the
circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.

25. What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
of driving.

26. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
Exchange him.

27. Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract.

28. Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half
the time.

29. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

30. What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.

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@random
14 Mar 2016 4:23PM
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One of my oldest friends is the girl who lives next door to me. Well, woman. Let’s call her crystal. She just turned thirty along with myself and the rest of our circle.

For the entire time I’ve known her she’s been a total square, just like the other girls in our group. I’m the only guy. One of very few black guys in this town on top of that. I’m kind of like their mascot. It’s been that way forever.

They’re a bunch of half assed Japanese speaking white anime fan girls who think they have a mean streak and aren’t growing out of anything. I get a pass on being edgy and shit just because this town has only ever seen like three of us since prohibition ended. So as far as they see it I'm thug as fuck.

They tease the ever loving shit out of me and I get to play the fool ass mother fucker who loves blue balls. Yeah I Cop a feel here and there, and the resident attention whore is always down to get “wasted” and show off (I love you Lizzy).

I get mine, just not from these girls.

I do my thing, lift weights,take care to stay lined up, keep it looking good so I just Show up to the party sacked or strapped and it’s like I’m their delinquent hood fantasy or something. It’s always been that way. I love this small town white trash sex haven.

So crystal is the hardcore Virgin, straight edge, no swearing, probably wears granny panties and she dresses like she’s afraid someone will notice she has a body. Oh shit does she have a body.

She’s thick I guess with Curly blonde hair, green eyes, librarian glasses, and no makeup ever. She’s baby fat soft, but plump and obsessed with aerobics. She hates her body and being “fat”. She thinks of fat people as being weak in general. No self control. Her sister is a cute plush cupcake with nothing to be ashamed of, but crystal will scold her to tears over her eating habits.

Anyway.

So we’ve known each other forever. We Grew up living next door to each other in a tiny town so we were best friends. Her mom’s been getting on her about meeting a guy and doing the good mom thing so she can have grand kids. This freaks her the fuck out, because well, that’s how she is.

So that brings us to about a month ago. I own the house I grew up in now. I bought it off my folks a few years ago. (Go Legal weed and housing crash) She still lives with her mom next door. It’s raining cats and dogs, (Finally, the drought is over) I’m doing dabs in my living room watching Hentai when the doorbell rings. I shut off the Tv and go answer.

It’s crystal. Soaking wet and looking more pissed than upset; dressed in her usual baggy hood and cargo pants. (Dumpy as fuck I’ve never even seen this girl in a t-shirt at this point)

She just blurts at me like I’m wasting her time. “I need to get high!”
That caught me way off guard, because that’s not something this girl does. I thought maybe she snapped and was having some kind of quiet one style psychotic episode.

“Well?” she follows up with. That snaps me back and I invite her in like a good stoner.

I ask her if she’s for real and what’s happening.

She tells me her mom started an online dating profile for her and was posing as her to set up a date.

“She said I needed a little push!” She was like cry yelling it.
She’s gone from furious to that creepy desperation hysterical crying where they’re like bawling, but laughing and talking shit to themselves about it.
Yeah, this girl needs to get high. I’m not trying to do her wrong, she’s my friend after all, so I pack her up a bowl of some monster cookies with some space queen cold water sprinkles on the roor and I start playing the flight attendant. You know, buddy system.

“Check it out this mix is super mellow, super euphoric, super creamy warm root beer.” I’m trying to make her laugh so she can relax a bit before her first session.

“It’s super strong so go easy and just do you.” Again trying to do her right.

“I just inhale?” She doesn’t look nervous, but she clearly has never been around the block.

“Yeah”

“OK, light me”

So I spark it and she starts the draw. It takes what feels like forever but she cashes the bowl in one big ass hit. Biggest I’ve ever seen in my life. I pull the carb and then we just wait…and wait…and wait…

“Breathe girl!” I kinda yell at her. Then she just sighs a cloud that fills my living room and says pack another.

I thought to myself no way you’ll want another in a minute so I’m packing it for me, but then I’m loaded up and she grabs the bong from me. I’d be mad, but it’s her so I’m just curious as fuck.
She burns that one down too. Same shit. Then she just kinda leans back and blows it all in my face.
I take the bong, reload, and do me. She’s couch locked hard while I smoke up with some oil in the salad.

Then I ask if she wants to watch something .

She nods hella faded and I ask her what.

“Porn!” she yells. Fuck it. The Girl’s having a midlife crisis. I stop acting shocked, this is how I live so whatever.

I pop the TV back on and my Hentai flick is still going.

We stayed like that for a minute. She was just leaned back on my couch guppy mouthed and Chinese eyed, I was just watching the porn wishing I could jerk off or hit that.
The she sits bold upright like she just remembered some shit. I pause the movie to see what she does next and she asks me “You know what sounds awesome right now?”
I’m expecting her to say something like deep fried ice creams sandwiches or something.

Nope. I ask her “What you fiending for?”

“I need to suck your dick.”

Holy fucking shit. I ask her. “Are you serious? You’re high as fuck right now.”
She just yells “DICK!” It startled the shit outta me I whipped it out.

Time and money are something I'm lucky enough to a lot of. I've got over ten racks in gold and diamonds in my dick. Six bars for a ladder, and two bars crossing the head. I don't fuck with squeamish fake teaser bitches.

She says out loud “Fuck yes!” then just drops her face down in my lap while she lays on the couch and starts fucking snacking on my dick. It was honestly kinda humbling.

She has no clue what she’s doing, She has clearly never done this before. Honestly though this shit wasn’t even about me, she was just working out a craving and I was the lucky fucker kicking back while she…buffet styled my dick. Like, she wasn’t sucking me off, she was licking all over it and trying to stuff it all down her throat. She kept gagging and coughing and snot was bubbling out of her nose. Nasty as fuck, but I’m in it for the long one now.

After a bit of her licking all over and testing the fit she just fucking throats me down. Oh my fucking god. She starts lurching and wretching I was positive she was about to fucking puke all over my lap then one fucking dry heave and she blows a huge wad of slime out her nose and she pulls off to get a heaving breath like she’s been drowning and like a whole other pint of goop just pours out her mouth and all over the front of her shirt. Now she looks like she’s gonna cry. My Dick is just standing there messy as fuck and in need of handling. She looks like she’s trying to process the mess she is and then blurts out “High is Awesome! Being high!” and has a laughing fit that goes on for way too long while I try to figure out if she’s done or not.

I bust out the rig for a dab while she makes up her mind and that snaps her out of her fit. I do mine still with my dick out, hard and nasty. She asks for one.

I tell her this shit is space case pro grade.

She says “Get me higher.”

Fuck it. She takes the dab just as easy as the bong load, lets it off. Then she says. “Lean back, more dick.”
With that she busts off the soaked fucking hoodie she was wearing and she didn’t have anything on underneath.
Then I seem them. They’re just there.
I wasn’t ready. She went from total unknown girl next door bate crush to one of a kind world record porn star tits staring me in the face, right there in front of me. The biggest tits I have ever seen on any women in my life. I thought she was just a plumper like her sister. But it was all tits. She was fit under all that.

It clicks for her what just happened too and she says. “H cup. I buy bras through the mail.”
Then down she goes. She works out her issues on my dick for like a half hour before she pops off my cock all a sudden then says ”Pussy Now.”
I’m like fuck, I guess I’m done. But then she takes off her pants and panties then crawls back up on the couch and leans over the arm rest with her ass pointing at me.
“Pussy now!” She barks it out like it’s all she’s ever said to me and I figure she wants it all now.

I’m not worried, I cut my shit years ago. Guess it’s time for pussy now.

I’m all throat slimed up so I know I’m good. But I don’t want to wreck this vibe so I get in to eat that pussy from the back and she freaks the fuck out when I get my tongue in there. (Power muff FYI)

“What is that doing?” “No Gross! No don’t! “ she fights it for maybe five seconds.
Then all she can say after that is “I love my pussy.”

It was a little weird, but I got used to it.

She was just chanting it the whole time.

“I love my pussy.”

Once she’s all sauced up and sloppy She just says, “Break it in”

Fuck yes. I lay it in her and I’m not gentle about it.

She’s still chanting, but now it’s all “Pussy! Oh Pussy! My Pussy!”

It’s hot, but also, I don’t know If I’m good with pussy for a bedroom pet name, you know?

She’s calling for her lost pussy to come home while I’m rock hard stone bonin’ her from the back.

I know I’ve hit something special because she starts throwing it back at me and her pussy chant is now “Big dick” She barks it every time she bottoms out and I can feel her cervix knocking my cock.

Not long now. She Keeps slamming back into me harder and harder then it happens.
She starts yelling pussy again, she stops throwing it and just rests with me balls deep in her and I can feel her pussy having a fucking seizure on my dick. She erupts all over the fucking couch. Just fucking gushes buckets.

She starts rambling, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry ,I’ll clean it up!”

I tell her not to trip and I need to get mine.


She says ok.

I waste no time and I give it to her like she owes me on a pound.
She’s not asleep, but she’s clearly out of whatever energy was pushing that episode. i get to drunk fuck her for a few minutes then I blow my load in her pussy just for the cheap thrill of being first.

I passed out on the couch with her and when I woke up later that evening she was in my shower.
She came out naked, “My clothes have, stuff on them. Can I wash them?”

I tell her yeah, then I ask “So what was that and what’s up now?”

She kisses me on the nose and says, “You’re mine now.”

My first instinct was "Say what now bitch?"

But, I have no desire to resist this woman.

It’s been about a month now and we’re still dating.

She’s changed though. Still dresses dumpy as fuck, but she is a stone cold party girl. Loves to get fucked up and dicked down.

She says I'm the only one that can get it.

Turns out her mom isn't happy i'm the one getting it though. She says she's voting trump or some shit.
Bitch.

Crystal says not to trip on it though. She says I don't belong to her.

I think I'm in love. I hope it lasts.

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@confessions
18 Feb 2014 5:43PM
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I guess it all started when my daughter was about ten years old. My wife
and I were divorced for about a year by then. We had a rather amicable
divorce considering some of the horror stories some of the guys I worked
with told. In any case she ended up with custody of Jenny, our
daughter. On this day, her mother dropped Jenny off at my apartment for
my weekend visitation. My ex-wife, Amanda and I chatted for a bit than
she kissed Jenny on the cheek and told her to be good. Jenny just
rolled her eyes and whined about always being good which gave both her
mother and I a little chuckle.

Jenny at ten was a very intelligent, bright, and of course, mischievous
little girl. She was very assertive and even at that age, knew how to
manipulate people, especially her "Daddy". The only time she used
"Daddy" was when she wanted something from me or was in big trouble with
her mom and she needed me to be on her side. The rest of the time, she
just called me Dad. I guess it’s fare to say that she had me wrapped
around her little finger. I knew it, but I felt guilty that I wasn't
there for her all the time since the divorce so I guess I over
compensated for my absence.

One thing that she always liked to do was to sit on my lap while we
watched TV together. We always watched football together but we also
liked watching the movies on cable as well. Of course, she always
wanted to use her "Daddy" as a recliner. Sometimes it got uncomfortable
for me, especially as she got older, but she would look at me with those
puppy dog eyes and the pout and say,

"Oh please Daddy?"

Of course I always gave in. This time was no different.

We finished eating dinner and began settling in for the evening. She
had just finished her shower and came bounding into the living room in
her favorite sleeping outfit; a San Francisco 49’s football jersey that
came just below her cute upturned butt, little white cotton panties, and
socks, folded down to her ankles. The football jersey was one of those
cut-off ones so the length fit her fine (just below the tops of her
thighs), but the sleeves came all the way down to her wrists. She
looked absolutely gorgeous with her light brown hair with striking, sun
bleached, blonde streaks, now plastered down wetly over her shoulder and
framing the pixie little features of her face. Thick, dark, expressive,
eye brows curved over her big, sparkling, hazel eyes that had the look
of innocence and mischievous intent all at the same time. Her smooth
long legs, that seemed to get longer every time I saw her, reached out
from under the hem of her outfit. She’d always had an air of
nonchalance to her. An unawareness of her beauty that made her even
more beautiful. Right then, I could easily imagine Amanda at her age
looking just like her.

There was some movie on cable that she had wanted to watch so we made
some popcorn together and sunk into the couch for the movie. Before
long she climbed into my lap with the popcorn on hers and wiggled down
on to me. She turned her head, looking up at me with an impish smile.

"You comfy?" I said.

Her grin widened, giggled, then turned back to the movie, hand to mouth
with more popcorn.

During the movie (I still can’t remember a thing about it) she kept
wiggling around in my lap eating her popcorn. She’d occasionally turn
with a hand full of popcorn in her hand, and feed it to me. Sometimes
she’d drop some of it, which would fall between us. She’d giggle
teasingly and say,

"Daddy, your such a messy eater", then fish her little hand between us
groping to retrieve the fallen popped kernels.

I could feel her searching fingers wiggling around between my legs and
behind her butt, the back of her hand pressing against my balls. My
cock immediately sprang to life, growing hard and long, like a viper
awaken from its lair. I was shocked at the suddenness of my erection,
not to mention that it was my ten year old baby girl that was the cause.
I froze, not knowing what to do. I shifted to one side, turning my hips
slightly, hoping to encourage Jenny to change her position to one lap or
the other so that she couldn’t feel my now rock hard shaft thumping
between her panty clad ass cheeks. Jenny on the other hand had made her
mind up that she liked it just where she was and turned to frown at me
and gave a disapproving whine, wiggling her ass harder down on my crotch
for emphasis. My heart was beating like a racehorse.

"My god, she must of felt my hard throbbing cock just then, what the
hell am I going to say to her." I thought.

My mind was in a panic, trying furiously to think up something, anything
to say. All the while admonishing myself for being sexually aroused by
my own daughter, trying fruitlessly to will my cock to go soft. Nothing
coming to mind, and fighting a loosing battle with my renegade member, I
waited for the inevitable.

I didn’t know what Jenny was thinking or how she might react. Did she
know anything about sex? Has her mother spoken to her about the "birds
and the bees"? Would she scream, glare at me accusingly and hate me
forever? All of it was racing through my mind in an instant and for
what seemed an eternity.

Just then, Jenny turned her head, squirming as she did, and smiled that
familiar mischievous smile. I glanced down at her beautiful laughing
eyes and nervously smiled back at her. Did she notice anything? Had
she turned and smiled at me knowingly or was it just a smile of victory
in the battle for seating position? I didn’t know and my cock didn’t
care. All "it" felt was the warmth of Jenny’s soft, supple ass cheeks
encased around it. A shift of her body causing renewed enthusiasm as
her ass wiggled and glided over its length. I could feel the pre-cum
gurgling up through my shaft and oozing out from the tip.

I then noticed something that had escaped my panic stricken mind. I had left my copy of the Book of Mormon on the outside patio. The Book of Mormon is the word of God, like the Bible. It is Holy Scripture, with form and content similar to that of the Bible. Both books contain God's guidance as revealed to prophets as well as religious histories of different civilizations. While the Bible is written by and about the people in the land of Israel and surrounding areas, and takes place from the creation of the world until shortly after the death of Jesus Christ, the Book of Mormon contains the history and God’s dealings with the people who lived in the Americas between approximately 600 BC and 400 AD. The prophets in the Book of Mormon recorded God's dealings with His people, which were compiled by a prophet named Mormon onto gold plates.

Before these faithful Christians perished, their record was safely hidden away. Joseph Smith obtained these ancient records in 1827, and with the gift and power of God Joseph was able to translate the ancient writings into what we have today. The Book of Mormon, along with the Bible, testifies that Jesus Christ is our divine Redeemer and that by living according to His gospel we can find peace in this life and eternal happiness in the life to come.

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truepervert420
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@confessions
12 Aug 2021 7:55PM
• 467 views • 0 attachments
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I am sooooooo PROUD of my self!!!!! Today I licked clean 28 toilets and 9 urinals in 18 public bathrooms in 2 states💋

I'm a 100%bottom sissy faggot that needed to remind my self how worthless I realy am and it was amazing!!!!!

IM A TOILET LICKING FAGGOT!!!! 

most had fresh drops on the seat and those were delightful. However the true gold is when you lift the seat. On the under side of the seat its always moist with stale piss and if your lucky pubes. Then there ther rim and behind the seat. Thats where you get the true dried spots you realy need to work your toung and lips on to get clean. Plue if your realy lucky small flecks of dried shit you have to spend true time on.  Only 3 were un flushed (piss only) and I made sure to get my head all the way in and lick/slurp some up. Floor drips were also nice to lick up too.

Urinals were harder. Most were in open bathrooms so I had to be quick. The backs suck because they get flushed down but the edge where the drips are are wonderful. 

BEST DAY I A WHILE😘😘😘😘😘😘

Trans sissy
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@random
28 Dec 2016 9:05AM
• 725 views • 3 attachments
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So at the moment I've been stuffing around with this other girl on the side, she worked with me for a bit and we spontaneously started chatting about her past and my past and next minute we are dirty talking with each other, this went on for a bit then photos are being exchanged, I get around 10 - 15 photos a night but the winrar file I had them in got corrupted so I had to start again.

Shes ridiculously sexy and has an amazing ass and small tittys with really nice small nipples.

So the other night we were chatting away like usual and she was sending me the greatest photos where I just wanted to fuck her and she obviously did too but my partner was home and it was 1am but I eventually thought fuck it and drove to her house.

She opened the door and she said hi there, she was just wearing a robe with a bra and a G string underneath, I go inside and we immediately start kissing I grab her ass and go into her bedroom with her.

She wanted to go for gold straight away but i made her wait and pushed her on the bed and had my way with her by biting her nipples rubbing her pussy fingering her, she was absolutely loving it then it was type to get my cock out and she grabbed it straight away and started sucking, (fuck she gave great head)

Then I finally pushed her back down on the bed and slowly started fucking her with my cock slowly pulling it out all the way and then pushing it back in she kept wanting to be in control but I wouldn't let her I kept pushing her back down making her take it dominating her and not giving her a choice.

I bent her over and took her from behind, she was so loud screaming the house down and I kept telling her to shush because of the neighbours but I couldn't stop her at all which I have to also admit was hot as fuck.

I then lead her into the loungeroom and threw her on the lounge and started pounding away at her pussy where she came for the first time her legs basically strangled me tightening over me.

But I wasn't stopping there I bent her over again and started fucking her more where she proceeded to scream more and love every bit of it.

Once again I got her up and wanted her to lead me to another room so she did and we went to the counter where I fucked her from behind there but I felt like I was going to cum so I slowed down took myself out and stopped beside her whilst i fingered her pussy as shes bent over the breakfast bar/counter.

Then for the final room we went into the guest room where I just straight up rammed my cock in her and had my way with her again but then I noticed she was bleeding which was a bit off putting so she started sucking my cock then as I was about to blow she layed down and I came all over her belly.

We had a shower together and she wanted me to fuck her again but I knew I couldn't I had to get back home so I left.

Then as I was coming home today she was messaging me telling me she wanted me and I started thinking nah I can't, next minute Im at her house and shes once again in a G string (She didn't know I was actually coming over) she wanted to fuck but I didn't have the time so I layed her on the couch and thrashed her pussy with my fingers she came and I made her bend over so I could grope her ass a bit and slap it, then I left and now we are back to chatting and photos :)

Thoughts?

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