irish guy 31 would love to have chats with ladies from anywhere...some hot stuff to brighten up my working day!

(Parody of The Night Before Christmas written by Clement C. Moore)

T'was the fright before Christmas. No one upset me
With a big bowl of popcorn, watching TV

I stretched, gave a yawn, settled back in my chair,
In hopes that St. Nicholson soon would be there.

The children were lying awake without sleep
They'd seen all his movies. He gives 'em the creeps.

I'd cued up Cukoo's Nest with my trusty remote,
To the part where he had all the nuts in the boat.

When out in the yard there arose such a noise,
I turned off the TV to see what it was.

And what to my wondering eyes should approach?
But the Los Angeles Lakers and Pat Riley, their coach.

The limo was racing; the team at it's heels.
That's when I saw him the man at the wheel.

He ranted and cursed. Waved round his swizzle stick.
And I knew in a second it must be Jack Nick.

More rapid than the Celtics, these Lakers they came.
He screamed like a madman and called them by name:

'Now Magic, now Worthy, now Scott and Kareem
On Cooper, on Rambus, and the rest of the team.'

Down the chimney St. Nicholson came with a groan.
Then he brushed off the soot and said, 'Honey I'm home!'

He was wearing a trench coat. With beer it was stained.
And shirt clawed to shreds by Shirley McLaine

He had a fat face, and flabby beer belly
From too many trips to the bar and the deli.

'It's tough when an actor becomes fat and lazy.
I only get calls to play weirdoes and crazies'

And middle-aged has beens with washed up careers.
But I'll fix 'em all and play Santa this year.'

And with that he buried his head in the sack
And said, 'Let's see what you get from your old buddy Jack.

'A hatchet for Daddy,' he reared back his head,
'To scare all those little buggers upstairs in bed.

'And a stiff drink for Mommy, in a nice tall glass.
She could really use something to kill that bug up her chimney!'

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his face,
He threw all the stockings into the fireplace.

What could I do? What could I say?
What would I wear on my feet Christmas Day?

I asked for a reason, and turning his head,
He looked straight at me, and here's what he said:

'Why? Do you wanna' know why? Do you really wanna' know why, Pal?

'I'll tell you why. When you're out Christmas shopping. You know, doing your little Christmas things with all your little Christmas friends, spreading all that Christmas cheer with those stupid Christmas songs. Did you ever stop and think of picking up a little something for old Jack, huh? Did you ever stop to think of what Jack might like for Christmas?

'You know, Jack, from the movies, up on the big screen? Pouring his heart out, giving it everything he's got, day in and day out, just trying as hard as he can to bring a tiny little bit of sunshine into your miserable, little hum-drum lives. Did you ever think of good old Jack, huh, for a second? No, not once! Maybe old Jack just wasn't that good, huh? Maybe I wasn't good enough in The Postman Always Rings Twice. Acted my guts out for you in that one! Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, Witches of freaking Eastwick, Prizzi's freaking Honor! All for you pal, just to brighten things up for ya!

'Not good enough though is it? No, you want me to brighten up the Christmas season too, huh? Isn't that what you want, Pal?

'Okay, let's make things real bright around here! What do you say we decorate the tree? String up these pretty lights here! Oh, she's looking brighter already! Why don't we take this cute little angel and ram her on the top branch huh? Ha ha ha! How about some gasoline for the whole freaking thing? I mean let's make her just as bright as she can be! What do you say we light her up, and chuck her through the old picture window here, huh, pal? No sense in having a tree as bright as all that and not giving the neighbors a chance to see, don't ya think, huh?

'There, aren't you glad old Jack stopped by? Huh, huh, huh? Ha!'

The flames towered brightly in the cold wintery sky,
As he made for his limo and bade his goodbye.

And an age may unfold ere I fail to regret
That visit from St. Nicholson. Which I'd sooner forget.

But I swear by the goose bumps upon my skin
That I'll always remember that devilish grin.

And his voice crying out ere he faded from sight,
'Merry Christmas to all, and I hope I never see you again as long as I live, for crying out loud!'

Anyone have a way of brightening this? Tried filters and brightness on the computer and phone, but it just doesn't do enough. Ex of mine, 23 at the time.

Madison's ass to brighten up your day

I don't know why, but I love girls that people would consider "average looking",  something about a girl that isn't super hot but kind of cute in her own way makes my dick rock hard. Any "average" looking girls here wanna brighten my day with themselves? 

OK..it's the weekend,..so let's brighten it up a little.......

My friends daughter loves showing off her little nipples.

Who can help me brighten up this image and maybe make her shirt a little more transparent??

Ugly nerd Sarah texted me about how she let a BBC use her ass and then sucked him off. (I brightened the cum she forgot to clean) I told her to leave it for her husband haha.

Been wanting this girl for so long now will post more if someone can brighten the image and Can anyone photoshop this image to get rid of the shadows.

Id like to tell you a story about our new house that myself and my wife have moved into. It's a beautiful 2 bedroom, one bedroom is tiny,house with everything furnished and the rent isn't bad either. The landlord built for his mother-in-law, it at the end of his yard. It has a small garden, fenced in. His mother-in-law passed away about 2 months before we moved in. We really got lucky.

Things were going great until my wife had things stolen from her, not from inside the house but from the clothes she had drying outside. It was her underwear, bras and panties. She didn't get too upset until some of her more expensive lingerie disappeared. It wasn't every time she was drying her clothes but about every second weekend. I found out that, every second weekend, the landlords son came to visit. I didn't know that the landlord and his wife had separated and he had visitation every time her underwear went missing. Just to be sure I installed an infrared trail camera, out of sight but I was able to see enough. Sure enough the next time the son came for the weekend, my app for the camera, messaged me that something set it off. My wife knew I was setting up the camera but I didn't let her know that the camera was recording. I went from the sitting room, where we were watching TV, to the kitchen so I could see what set the camera off. I could see someone snooping around the yard and making his way to the clothes that were drying, but I couldn't see who. At that exact time my wife's TV program ended and she came into me to say goodnight and up to the bedroom she went. I kept an eye on my phone to see if it would show the culprits face. I could see the bedroom brightening up after my wife turning on the light and then getting darker from her shutting the curtains. With that the figure went from the drying clothes to the bedroom window where my wife was getting ready for bed. Even though I saw all of this happening, I didn't do a thing. I didn't turn on the yard light, I didn't go outside to chase the person away and I never told my wife someone was at the window. All I did was watch, on my phone, this person spying on my wife. I kind of enjoyed it. The next day my wife came into me wanting to find out about what the camera spotted because her underwear had gone missing again. I told her that the batteries must have been dead because nothing was recorded. We'll try again tonight.

It has to be the son.

The following night nothing happened. The camera was never tripped. Visitation was over and the landlords son went back to his mother. 2 weeks later and I'll be ready.

The more I thought about it I was loving the thought of my wife being spied on. 

Visitation weekend was here. I set the trap. I snucked my wife's gstrings, 4, and her fanciest most colorful bras out and I closed the bedroom curtains, leaving a big gap, revealing, most of the room, just hoping my wife didn't notice. 

I opened a bottle of wine and we sat watching a movie just chilling. The movie ended and we were chatting, when my phone notification dings letting me know that something set off the hidden camera. The bate was taken.

I told the wife that I was going to bed after I tidied the kitchen and started to take the wine glasses and bottle to the kitchen. With that my wife said that she'll head off to bed. I examined my phone, and sure enough, I could see someone at her lingerie that I hung up. This time I could make out that he was rubbing himself with one of her undies, he was wanking on her underwear. The yard, in one patch, lit up. I can see our bedroom light was after being turned on, my wife was, now , getting ready for bed. With that the voyeur scooted over to the window and to my delight, and the window spy, she never noticed the curtains not being pulled completely. He was right up to the window, going slightly to the left and back to the right, following my wife as she walked around. Then I see he has his phone turned on, he starts to record her. With the light from his phone shinig slightly on his face, I get the biggest surprise, its not our landlords son, it's the LANDLORD.

I rushed to the bedroom, not to close the curtains but to give a better view for the landlord. I entered the room and my wife was just walking around with only her panties on. Her ass was swallowing her panties, her 2 cheeks just munching them.  I grabbed her from behind and started to nibble on her neck and at the same time walked her closer to the window giving the, window peep, a clear view of my half naked wife. I ran my hands up her ribs, catching her shoulders and arching her back , which thrusted her C cup breast toward the window. I then slid my hands slowly back down her ribs to her thighs as far as I could and back up between her now parted legs but I perpously didn't go ne'er her pussy. Back up her rids not going at get tits and back between her legs not fingering her pussy. She was giving my bulge an unbelievable grinding with her ass. I finally rubbed her pussy which had her panties soaking wet. She went from grinding on my bulge to trying to get my fingers to enter her pussy with my fingers. I turned her around which had her ass facing the window and she was really gyrating her hips on my now throbbing dick. This was my first time being filmed and I was really trying to put on a show for our landlord. Without any coaxing, my wife put her two hands down my shorts and pulls out my dick and starts to give me a BJ. turning her slightly so I can give our peeping Tom a better viewing. Eventually I guided to the bed, I faced her pussy towards the window. She started back giving me my dick licking and I started at her now dripping wet pussy. I started to take her panties off when she reached down herself and pulled them down a small bit and then kicked her legs until they were off. There we were, my wife, giving me a side headed blow job with her legs spread, with me squeezing  her breasts with one hand and fingering her with the other one, exposing herself to be filmed. I caught one of her hands and tried to have her finger herself with no luck. I was determined to have her play with her pussy and after a bit I placed my hand on top for hers, placed it on her wet pussy and I stated to play with her in-between her fingers. I could feel her starting to really enjoy this. I eventually placed my fingers on top of hers and started to rub her clitress with her fingers, which were being controlled by mine. Before long I could feel that she wasn't being controlled by my fingers anymore. She was taking over herself. Not to startle her, i slowly took my hand away, BINGO, she was masturbating herself. Her legs spread wide, her fingers were all over her clit and disappearing into her pussy. Her blowjob on me was being forgotten about, as she starts giving off this, high pitched, hum. I've heard that noise often before. It means she's bringing herself to a climax. Her knees start to close together, with her body starting to shake. I whispered to her to try to keep her legs open and she only had to be asked once. She had them spread the widest I've seen. (The yoga classes she takes are really coming in handy for the landlord). I could see her toes curling, her shoulders shaking, her face straining and her mouth wide open and high-pitched groans and moans getting louder. I squeeze her tits hard, really hard. This seems to excite her even more and then she starts to get waves of convulsions shooting through her. This kept going on for 2 minutes untill she grabs her own tits, squeezes her thighs together and just squirming. After her explosive climax, I fucked her brains out. At the end of our sex session, she couldn't get out of bed to go to the bathroom, I had to help her. What a night.

I fixed the curtains in Beth bedrooms so they can't close properly. My sister-in-law comes over to stay with us and I said I'd give the landlord someone else to record. I keep recharging tha infrared camera, which tips me off that we have a guest. Most of the time my wife is only changing but every so often, I put on a show for our peeping Tom.

8 months into our lease, I asked our landlord for a reference because we didn't know if the rent was going up , so we decided to look around. Well he told me that we were the Ideal tenants, payed on time, never any trouble. We said that he was trying to pay less to the tax man and was wondering if we would sign another lease but it would be for 200 cheaper. Tax man yeah. The window spy wanted to keep his model to film. If course I agreed. Nothing like using my wife as a unsuspecting whore, who show's off her body getting used. A film whore.

My wife still doesn't know she's being used. The sister-in-law is an additional slut to the stable. I wouldn't mind seeing her naked. My wife still has her bras and panties take every now and then. ( It is the landlords son who steals them) The landlord does wank himself using the wife's underwear. She was complaining that the washing machine isn't cleaning as well as it was because it's leaving stains on some of her clothes, it's always her knickers and bras. She used to rewash them but lately she sees the stains smells them and puts them on. Fuckin hell, she's wearing knickers and bras with his cum stains in them. I love it 

I know some of you will be saying, "show us some nudes of her". I'm onto a good thing. I'm not going to ruin everything to show you guys. If one of the recordings turn up on line, I'm clean, it wasn't me. I might repost it, but I won't be the one to post a nude of her.

I hope you've enjoyed this.

My system Aofie sent me this pic to Brighten my day , I told her it made my dick hard

how do you brighten up a pic where it has dark area's to increase the detail

The way she looks at me when I enter her tight pussy, sliding inside her sweet wetness, she sees deep into my soul. I've never experienced a woman with such suction, such grip on my cock as both of our eyes lock in lust, as our hearts beat with love. She'll moan and bite my shoulder as I slide deeper inside her. I can feel her large soft swollen breasts jiggling under me as my thrusts become quicker. She loves when I bite down on her nipples and suck, and sometimes I'll get lucky and some sweet nectar will drip on to my tongue.
She likes to ride my cock, and her favorite part is feeling me cum inside her. She says she can feel me pulsating. I don't last long when she's on top of me - watching those magnificent melons bouncing on my chest, sometimes I'll grab them and squeeze, and sometimes I'll grab her soft round ass and hold her tightly to me as I fill her.
"I'm your little cum slut," she will whisper in my ear as my cock throbs with pleasurable attempts to breed this beautiful woman. The emotions I feel for her are beyond measure - it's lust, it's love, it's obsession.
"I love you," I say, looking into her magnificent eyes.
"I love you too," she always says back.
I only get to see her once a week. She's a busy woman and she has a boyfriend who mistreats her. I'm single but work in the IT field. I met her at my therapist's office. Usually my therapist books people so we don't run into each other - but I've seen her a few times as she was leaving. One time she was talking to him and as she left she glanced at me and said, "hello," with a cute smile.
My heart melted. I decided that I'd show up to my therapist a bit earlier next week just to see what would happen.
I talked to my therapist about her - and it turns out she was seeing him for a broken heart, just like I was. My therapist diagnosed me with PTSD because of emotional distress due to a toxic relationship with my ex. Luckily I was healing because of all of the therapy. She was the first woman I've really ever looked at after the destruction of my old relationship.
I asked my therapist about her, and he seemed a little surprised that I would even ask him about her.
"She's definitely going through a lot, but I can't discuss those things with you. She is attractive, but she is also in a relationship of which she's trying to cope with..."
So the next week I showed up early and she walked past me, smiled and said "hello!"
Our eyes connected and she blushed.
"Hey, um... I just... I just want to say thank you for smiling at me and saying hello - it really brightened my day." I stammered a bit, but her beauty was so pure.
She blushed a bit more, "well thank you, I hope you have a nice session."
"I don't know how to go about this, but... can I take you out for coffee?"
"I'd like that."
So that's how it all began. We've both discussed things about why we're in therapy, and she acknowledges that she needs to leave her boyfriend.
I told her I didn't want to be the rebound because that never works out.
"Like it or not, you already are the rebound - the thing is I just wanted to get laid, just to take my mind off of that asshole but .... I ended up falling in love with a wonderful man... and I really want you to know that when I fall in love, it's not out of nothing - it takes me a while to do... but you're special."
She plans to pack up her stuff and leave him next week. I've invited her to move in with me if she wanted to and she agreed to. She's also going to get a restraining order on her soon to be ex boyfriend.
I've never been so in love with a woman - and I'm just worried if she somehow comes to the conclusion that I'm just another asshole... it will break me... but I also know that is a major part of the PTSD I'm suffering.
In a lot of ways I want to get her pregnant - she knows I'm a pervert, and she's one too.
I can't wait to see her again.

Good Morning Ladies,

Who's a Good Girl and wants to post a sexy good morning pic of them smoking in the Nude to brighten up my day?

21 yo male lookin for some friends. Just friends. Maybe more depending on where things go. Maybe i can brighten up your christmas? :3

My confession is that I have posted dozens of confessions on here and they are all fake. I am single, 40 and lonely and I aides myself up by pretending to be a girl, a woman, into young, into animals etc. Thanks for all the replies. You have brightened my life. But now I am finding it hard to stay cheerful. So I am going to stop posting. See ya'll.

So, I got this off my buddy's old phone he sold me, it's of his ex. I'm looking for someone to brighten it up so I can see her body more clearly. Even though I never really liked her as a person, she has (had? not sure) a sexy body and I'd like to see it. She's well into her 20's here.

Here's some goth girl titties to brighten your day. Who's your favorite goth slut?

Written for a friend. Abduction/abuse/rape based story. Not generally what I write about, but along her interests.

*click* *click* *click*

She rose from her position and reviewed the photos she took and continued on her way. A beautiful sunny day, it was perfect for photography. She had driven to a quiet place outside the city and parked along the side of a dirt road. She wandered into the woods, and snapped photos of the things that caught her eye along the way. It was early summer, the forest was alive with life and the melodies of playful songbirds. She stopped for a moment and closed her eyes, her camera hung by a strap around her neck, she stretched her arms up into the air and took a deep breath.

A hand clamped down over her mouth and tightened down like a vice upon her face. She felt the strap of her camera go tight around her neck as her assailant used it to force her to the ground. With a violent wrench and pull, the breath of air she took but a moment ago escaped her lungs as she slammed into the dirt. The sole of a boot dug between her shoulder blades, and pressed her firmly into the dirt and rocks below her. She struggled to breath and clawed at the strap around her neck, darkness slowly overtook her, and she fell into unconsciousness.

As she drifted on the edge of reality, her senses began to return. The heat of the sun beat down upon the bare skin of her back, her hair stuck in strands to the sweat that coated her skin. A rough material pressed against her thighs, chest and arms. her shoulders ached from supporting her weight and her wrists burned as something dug into her skin. Her mouth was filled with a soft material, soaked in her spit. She snapped to reality suddenly as the sounds of footsteps walked around her, followed by the familiar click from her camera. She opened her eyes to darkness, her vision taken by something wrapped around her head, and tried to scream. Nothing came but a muffle, her mouth held shut by tape.

She shifted uncomfortably and tried to escape her bonds, her legs were wrapped around the tree trunk and tied tightly on the other side at head level, and she hung suspended by her wrists, tied to the base of a branch above her, bare bottom spread and exposed. Her flesh scraped against the bark of the tree and she realized only now that she was naked. She nervously chewed the material stuffed into her mouth, the feel of the elastic band making her realize it was her underwear. She heard laughter, followed by more camera clicks.

The footsteps got closer, still not a word spoken by the man as he leaned in close. She felt his hand run along the back of her leg, trailing up her ass, back and neck delicately, before finally he gripped tightly on her hair, with a force that made her feel it would be pulled clean off her scalp. Suddenly his other hand was pressed between her legs. The palm of his hand grinding against the lips of her pussy, the tips of his fingers came together, and at once he shoved all 4 deep inside her, his large hand spreading her with a painful shove that nearly took the weight off her wrists. As quickly as his fingers had entered her, he removed them. She whimpered muffled sounds and listened to the twigs crunch below his feet, followed by more clicks of the camera.

The footsteps drifted away, for a moment she was left hung on the tree, surrounded only by the noise of the song birds. She struggled to free herself again as the tree bark against her skin scraped and scratched her inner thighs and chest. Helpless against the bonds her body went limp again, tears soaked the cloth that covered her eyes. What felt like an eternity later, the sound of footsteps returned, the sound of each foot step brought her heart to race as they got closer. They stopped just beside her. There was another moment of quiet, then her back exploded in pain, the slapping sound of a thin switch echoed against the trees, her yelp muffled by her gag. A line of fire burned across her back, a bright red line left on her skin. Again the cracking sound broke the air as the switch struck her ass cheeks, brightening in another red line. He struck her again and again, red lines crossed over her back and ass, blood trickled down her back from small cuts the switch had left across the beaten skin. With one final strike she heard the sound of the stick shatter, the switch had snapped into pieces as it struck her upper shoulder.

He was on her then, hand wrapped around her throat from behind, his other hand played with both her holes, as if he couldn’t decide which to violate. Then he made his choice, his hand left her bottom then she heard the sound of spitting. She suddenly felt his finger press against her pussy again, forcing their way inside her roughly. He worked his hand back and forth, he fucked her with his fingers roughly as she bounced up and down against the tree with every violent shove of his hand. For a moment he stopped, she hung there limp, her pussy gaping wide, throbbing in pain. Then he began again, first his fingers, then finally working his whole fist inside of her. Her muffled screams began again as his hand stretched out her pussy. she felt as if he would try to insert his whole arm inside her.

His hand slipped out of her, the hand on her neck tightened. He slapped hard against her pussy with the palm of his hand repeatedly and stopped only when he could hear the high pitch squeals from beneath the tape on her mouth. As she quivered,her legs came free and they dangled weakly to the ground. Next her wrists were cut free and she collapsed against the tree, barely able to hold herself up. She was grabbed by the hair again, and thrown down face first onto the forest floor. His hand pressed her face into the ground, rocks and twigs dug into her skin and she felt him climb on top of her. He entered her with no warning, his dick sliding into her beaten, swollen pussy. He grunted in her ear as he fucked her hard and deep, her body scraped back and forth against the ground as his pace increased and his grunts grew louder. With an animalistic groan he pressed himself deep inside her, his cum exploding deep inside her.

Beaten, weak and helpless, she passed out again listening to the sound of her camera’s shutter click. The sun was setting when she woke up. Naked and alone. She sat up and removed the blindfold and gag and looked around. There in front of her was her camera. For a moment she sat in shock as the experience came back to her. She grabbed her camera, and started looking at photos.

Anyone able to brighten this up at all? I'd love to do it myself but I'm completely useless with photoshop. Cheers in advance.

All I know is recently this last Saturday I drank way to much blacked out and passed out naked on my friends bathroom floor puking and dry heaving, all night long, for hours, non stop almost, naked, worst part is my ducks like 3 inches. So, I guess it's good I don't remember. My life's been pretty shut lately all mainly my doing but some uncontrolled issues, just thought my story would brighten up someone's day, even though it darkneed mine lol.

Took a quick pic of my fuck buddy's tits but it was dark and she wouldn't let me take more, anyone able to work some magic to brighten this up so we can all enjoy?