Over the past few years I have found that I like dick, alot. The bigger they are the more I want it. I'm a 50 year old married man and I have to keep this secret because I'm pretty sure she would be against it. She knows something about it though because one time a while back she thought I was messing around with a female friend of ours and she put up a few hidden cameras and waited. We'll I never messed with the girl but one day a male freind of ours came by while she was gone. I took a chance and asked him if he would pull his dick out and face fuck me with it.....I got just what I asked for and damn his cock was big and beautiful. Just as I was getting him all the way down my throat my phone rings and after probably 20 rings I picked it up and it was my wife.she wanted to know what I was doing so I told her nothing just hanging out. She started screaming in the phone that she knew cause she was watching it through her camera. So instead of listening to her rant and rave, I hung up and went back to sucking that dick until he came all over my face.
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I am born male.
I truly feel alone and afraid.
Mid 50's and still anytime there is interest in me I am placed in the same two boxes be it any gender or how one wishes to be seen.
Females so far lean to me being alpha/Dom or beta/sub and in all cases told I am to provide for them in all ways.
Males are kinda the same.
Trans are same except for one person who I wish did get the job and move here (it was talking about the area I live in that in time included watching tv on the phone together and as close as one can that way).
We had so much in common and she got and was fine with how being white and not around many people told her I feared messing up not knowing if I had learned any bad ways of being or thinking by years of growing up with all that goes on in the south. She laughed and said already I so kind that she assumed If I did anything it would be small and a simple goof and she would guide me as I was a keeper. If we had got together, she said she was who she wanted to be and would not change. We were open and just blunt. She was a woman with a dick that worked. I was so sweet it did not matter how when we did share our self with each other the way we did. She wanted me to be at ease and we would figure it out. She did ask me to consider all the ways we could. We talked about it. It would have worked as we both (for the pleasure of the other) wanted slow foreplay,kissing,touching,masturbation,oral,anal finger and toying and anal both ways.
She would help me get clean and said she knew how to treat her man and keep him very happy. She wanted me to let her care for me and please me in any way I ever had dreamed and new ways we found. She could hear on the phone my breath and voice sound like my heart was pounding.
We knew what we looked like and at the paper she worked at I could verify the pic she sent was her :)
With her there was no alpha/beta/Dom/sub... That was what we both found so great about what was going on with us. We would guide each other and she was upfront that she was a giving person wanting to give me pleasure and make me happy. She told me to be open as she never would be like others had I told her of....
I told her I wanted to please her too. I was a giving lover and if it was ok then at any time I may feel the urge to cuddle, hold, want to touch her and fondle her and just melt away doing that. I also did not fear just out of the blue giving oral and swallowing or sharing a kiss if that was ok. She was the same and told me we would be little bunny rabbits cuddling alot then.
She told me their would be times she would want to watch me as I gave anal and she wanted me to only do it in ways it felt the best for me and cum freely, she take care of everything. With her and how she was I told her I wanted her to do the same. Being equal and not into all the who takes from who and all that, we were free to do anything we felt be it for us or the other or together....
That is so hard to find and why I wish someone had not just change their mind and give the job to someone else... (being local I could keep up with what was going on at the paper and it seemed odd how it all went to someone who in the end got fired...
She would have been great there and in my life...
I guess the point is inside I have emotions and love not shown like males in porn and what many seem to want.
I find I am like many vids and pics of females who love each other and show it with care and much warmth but no domination or degrading for ones pleasure.
After so many years of being told my place would be this and that, She was of same soul as I am.
She had to go far west of even where she was to get the same better job. I was happy for her but still dream of what so far no one else is.....
I keep it to myself as It has been made clear from others idea of who I should be that I would be used or hurt. I wait for someone who is like her and also like her, finds interest in the same things I think of that I favor here. People have truly had hate just because I am pansexual or in short, If shown love and cared for as I dream then I can love anyone as long as they have real love for me.
I have wrote before how I respect all who respects others and truly care and their actions back that up.
I wrote how with all the harm in the world being done to others that I do not understand why so much open hate is shown to others here when that type of "play" should be between them and who wants it and not someone they do not even know....
I wrote that as it seems nothing I say is defended or supported who ever it is about and how truly nice I mean it about the pic or vid or post...
When a stranger just blocks you and you never have said a thing or they write you with hate and degrading words or attack your posts the same way it just makes someone like me so afraid and I just leave everyone alone keeping out of their way...
Please do not take this next part in a bad way. It is based on a real post and what I would think if it could be trusted.
A gay father has a son who is afraid of people like I am and seem to have been beat and so on at a young age as I did by others my age in school.
Seems they all have much in common with me so that would have been a good start.
I am over 50, the son is over 40, the father and his husband are early 60s.
The son is a full vers. ad the father is a vers top and his husband is a vers top.
They have the means and wish to find someone with much in common with their son who is very giving and they do not want taken advantage of....
The son and they talked... He is ok if the person they find becomes in bond married to him and them.
The son is not huge and that is fine with me. He has the same issue as no one is freely full vers and giving but not a sub.
His size with my help WOULD make me cum anal only. He is 3". And yes I would want to please him too and find what makes him cum from anal only.
That is just anal... All other ways above with the transgender I spoke of I think he would like too.
What the son talked about to them is if they could love that person as he did then chances are his size would not be an issue (as I said it would not for me)...
I would if real love be open to a real loving bond with all of them.
The father was a virgin when married his wife and then divorced and got the son. The only other IS his husband he is with now and they all are clean (and think of it, They would not risk their son or them self so it makes sense they wish someone who would not and has not taken risks or cheat as an option for all of them).
To have three people who care and love you and take care of you as they listed is like a family but also allows deeper connections and bonds.
In that setting, I could be as dirty as my inner desires dream.
They do not seem to do anything with the son so I assume I could be with the son or when them. The son can watch of that is what they want or what ever.
If I am in the middle and that's ok then I have no issues with what is ok with them all.
They say they and their son in private are more feminine than males and hope the other is also.
In that setting for sure of giving to each other, A few dreams I have some nights I would like to try.
One is they fondle and kiss me all over, play and suck my nipples. They slowly anal play till I am slick and ready on my own. They slowly penetrate me little bits at a time. When all is smooth they make love till they get to their edge and then swap.
I would like them to do this as long as they can and see how many times they can make me orgasm from anal only.
When we all are about given out, I want them to orgasm in me and we cuddle.
Another is I am in the middle giving anal and getting it.
Many ways that can go.
If the one giving cums then they swap.
I edge for my pleasure as they swap till I cum.
Another is before anal, we enjoy oral many times till we all have given to each other.
Then if they are still turned on by my desires, They swap one giving oral as one gives anal.
When I cum the one swallows and sucks hard as I tell the one giving anal to take me.
After they cum, swap places.
There are times it would be nice for any of them to fine me, show me their clean hole, suck me hard and tell me to take them.
If they are ok with their son and my lover being there, Then I have a special idea :)
My lover and I 69...
As we nurse on the others cock, the others give me anal swapping and we do that as long as we can as many times we can cum as we can.
It is funny I am not ever going out and doing all I dream... But I hope someone who is like minded and loves in ways as I do sees this and will do anything to care for and love me for all I am to and for them for all they do and give to me.
Well... That's all for now... If you are someone who hides and wishes for me as I am like you, Well, Keep looking here as you can find me if you will give and do anything for me. Hire a PI or what ever :)
Just be ready to prove your not like what I have run into on my own so far.... I look and try but domination is all they want to do to me or make me a slave....
It is not that I can not be sexual and be that like crazy... I just will not be ab_used ( I can not believe the bot banned the way I used that word. Soon all will be banned sadly), harmed, degraded ,placed at risk or used.
To real loving souls who would move the world for me, protect me, care for all of me, wish to make me happy and content forever..... My mind opens to much more than many. No harm or such.... But I will only say this... A woman is not the only being who can be attracted to a being whose loyal and will protect with all they are and show real love. As long as it is with love and care, So much is open to dream.....
If this draws hate, that backs what I have said. I have done nothing to anyone.
I went to a adult video store a few weeks ago that I hadn’t been to in years. It of course has video booths in the back of the building. I went in the back and walked from booth to booth looking for a nice looking guy to suck but there were nothing but old guys or 30 something’s who were out of shape. There were two bigger rooms that had two sofa’s in them and each had a couple of guys with their dicks out jerking off to some nasty porn with nasty looking dude’s or chicks. I was disappointed but horny because I had taken a viagra. I got more and more horny as time went on and I kept walking around looking to see if a younger guy had come in but never found one. Finally I decided I needed to cum and leave so I went back into one of the larger rooms that had three guy’s in it and just stripped naked. I love public nudity! The video playing sucked so I pulled out my phone and put this hot Trap video on and started jerking to it. I showed the other guy’s and they moved closer to watch it. One guy asked if he could suck me and I let him. One older guy, maybe late 50’s had a nice, shaved cock so I asked him to stand in front of me so I could jerk it. It got bigger as I gently caressed and stroked it. I set my phone down on the sofa on one side with the video playing on repeat, the guy sucking me was on the other side and I pulled the guy in front of me closer so I could suck his. It had been 5 or 6 years since I sucked a dick and I had forgotten how much I enjoyed it. His cock got thicker as it got harder and the head was soft and felt really good in my mouth. I made the dude sucking me stop so I could jerk and cum with a cock in my mouth while watching this video. I’ll be going back soon!