I am 24 and male. I confess, that I got my asshole violated and loved it. I always liked girls, but now I know that I have an asspussy, so maybe I need to reconsider some things.

I don´t want to bore everybody with all the details about the background story and how it happened. I found my self in a room with a bunch of guys and they decided to rape me. They wanted me to suck their dicks and threatened me whit a knife when I refused to do it. I didn't want to get hurt, so I basically gave in from then on. I got on my knees and started to suck cock. After a few minutes, when everyone was rock hard, one of them said something like: While we are at it, why not fuck his ass?

While undressing me, they noticed that I got an erection from giving head. I don´t know why I got hard from sucking their cocks, I really didn't like it at that point, I just concentrated on doing it. Well long story short, they started calling me a faggot and gave me a girls name. At that point there was no holding back for them, my lack of resistance and the obvious signs my body gave, made them believe I wanted all that to happen. Well maybe subconscious I did.
In addition to the girls name, they decided it would be kinda gay if they fucked a dude. So one of them went to the bedroom to borrow some panties and makeup from his girlfriend. They sliced the panties open, so my asshole would be accessible when I ware them. Then I got some lipstick on my lips, but not like you normally would apply lipstick, they just smeared it across my lips and cheeks. To finish it of I got a cowgirl hat, to cover up my male looking hairstyle.

They all laughed at me and told me what a pretty girl I am. I felt completely helpless and humiliated, weak and robbed of all my masculinity. Not that I think being weak and helpless is a feminine trait, but at this point, being in this situation I had no choice, other than feeling feminine. Being male just wasn't an option. I looked down on myself, saw my, now limp, cock in those panties and couldn't resist to think how cute those panties look on me.
One of them noticed that I went limp and said to me he knows exactly what I need now, to get in the mood again. I was told to get on all fours, so I did. He told me to crawl over to him and suck his dick, and I eagerly did. While I was sucking his dick, one of them started to lube my asshole and fingered it for a bit. I tried to relax my hole as good as possible, because I didn't want it to hurt. It sounds illogical, but when you push like you are taking a dump, its easier to take things up the butt. After figuring that out, he had no problems fitting two fingers in my ass. He then spat on his cock and pushed it against my hole. I guess my ass was a bit gaped after he pulled out his fingers because I tried to keep it as lose as possible and he said to some of the other guys: "Look at that greedy fuckhole!" one of the others said: "She is a real talent!", while saying that, he got in front of me and pushed his cock in my face. I switched to sucking his meat and continued to rub the other guys cook. The lipstick was all over my face. At the same time the guy behind me pushed his dick in my asshole. He was very gentle and slowly pushed his cock deeper and deeper with every thrust. Once he was balls deep, he took up a decent speed, but not to fast or hard. I kept sucking and started to produce muffled moans. They where right, it seemed to be what I need, my cock was hard again.
"I am going to make you feel like a real girl! Do you like to get fucked in your cunt?!" I had my mouth full of cock, so I didn't answer right away. The guy fucking me slapped my ass really hard and said: "I am asking you a question you stupid bitch, answer me!" The guy I was sucking pulled back, grabbed me by the chin, made me look directly at him and said: "Answer him! Do you like being fucked in your cunt?!" before I could answer the guy behind me started to orgasm, he suddenly started to pound me real hard and fast, my whole body rocking back and forth from his thrusts and him pulling me back on his cock. The guy holding my chin now screams at me: "Answer!" and whit every thrust from behind I get out one word at the time: "Yes-I-love-to-get-my-ass-hole-fucked!" He finishes whit one last hard push and pulls out. I feel cum dripping out of my ass. Then he says, heavily breathing: "Thats not your asshole you fucking slut. Thats your pussy from now on, a girl has to have a pussy. Do you understand that?" I answer "Yes...i do". One of them slaps my ass and says: "Good girl. Now beg us to keep fucking you."
So I am kneeling there on all fours, cum dripping from my hole, running down my leg, I am still stoking one guy with my left hand, feeling waves of bliss floating from my asspussy through my whole body, feeling the relive of being nothing else as a peace of fuckmeat. I stop to stroke the cock, I lay down on my back, spread my legs as good as I can and start to finger my dripping hole. "'Please fuck my asspussy, make me feel like a girl, pleeeeease. I want you to fill me up whit cum! I need your cocks, please make me cum!" I started to stroke my hard cock throgh the panties while fingering my cunt. One of them closed in on me: "You gonna get what you need until you cant take it anymore!" he pushed his cock in my greedy hole and started to fuck me, he fucked me way harder than the guy before, it felt amazing. He then slapped my hand away from my dick and said: "Stop stroking that ting! You can´t jerk off with a clit like that. Girls don't always get to cum. If you can´t cum from getting your cunt fucked, you don´t get to cum at all."
From then on I got fucked in every position I could imagine and some I couldn't. After hours of fucking and cumming I was covered in their lovejuice, my panties drenched in sweat and cum and my pussy was gaped. It was heaven...

WHO is this slice of heaven and where can I find more of her?

I confess I don't want to exist. I say exist bc even if there is a so called afterlife, hell is to unjust and heaven seems overrated and boring. I could go into length over the details but it wouldn't matter, and idc about the people who post and think that I should commit suicide bc I don't take them seriously. I guess my real issue is that I have no passion to slice my wrist or pull the trigger or whatever of the many ways to do it nor do I have any desire to live.

I have seen what this life has to offer, religion that's blinded by the light/faith, sex for, not with, children in hopes they might carry on this DNA for "human progression" even though nothings changed in the past 10,000 years; pedophiles, drugs, work, torture, temporary moments of happiness followed by either heartbreak or lost of family/friends. yet even tho I want nothing absolutely nothing, it is still a want. No1 can escape it. so here I am, not lost to the world, but stuck wandering my combined molecules in this maze of human structures on this moving rock of earth. I could kill myself in hopes of nothingness as an athiest would like, but by the same token despite what any1 believes or not cannot deny the self awareness and where or who that self came from or if it continues after. Truthfully I have come to realize the only real reason for anyone on earth is from the combination of our parents DNA and anything more of a reason was created by some1 else b4 I or maybe you came around.

Personally Idk if there is "god" however because of the fact that we can imagine such an entity, we are capable to match and even surpass him/they/it ect. By the same logic "if you imagine and know it you can eventually reach it, if you can reach it, you can grasp it, and if you can grasp it, you can kill it, be equal to, or surpass it. Basically the "If it bleads you can kill it." idea but taken further.

Which brings me to my next thought if we're all god's children, then we are gods by defacto, I think it's time to grow up and oedipus this fuckin thought. Eventually our subconscious will inspire ideas to merge all technologies and create a combined global consiousness, similiar to what we have now but internally through the brain. It might otherwise be reffered to as legion. When that happens our every problem will be solved within microseconds. And without conflict or change there is no reason or meaning or challenge for living.

By no means do I claim to have any answers, much like socrates at the end of his life, just observations and projections based on those observations. Adding 1+1+1 until infinity. However I will give credit where credit is due such as prophecies of the bible like legion, god ect but bc of the times they were in did not have enough past info to see the future develope. It doesn't matter whether it's 2000, 5000, or 10,000 years ago it's still just projections of this being here, then there, then over there and so on..

It is our nature, our instinct, our subconscious, DNA programing, journey or whatever to become 1 with the universe, the maker/creator and/or ourselves. And then once we do merge every thought, idea, particle, wave, and molecule to the point of something, it will have no where to go, then what? I guess all I have to do is wait a little longer until I die to see or not. but for now If I had the opportunity, I would leave it all and not be..