Damien: Everybody hates me!
Mr.Mackey: Why do you suppose that is?
Damien: Because I'm the son of the devil!
Mr.Mackey: Uh huh that's a good start, why else?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaaah
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny! Dude, Kenny is dead.
Chef: Hello there children. Let me sing you a little song:
I'm gonna make love to you woman
Officer Barbrady: Well you ain't Fiona Apple,
and if you ain't Fiona Apple I don't give a rat's ass.
Reporter: What would drive a man to such a disgusting act?
Some Woman: My god that's disgusting!
Stan: Whoa dude, how do you have sex with a chicken?
Stan: At least im not a little pig fucker.
Cartman: God damn it!
Stan: Dude!
Kyle: Huh Sick
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah
Cartman: You get you bitch ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie!
Mr.Garrison: You got to hell!
Stan: You butt plug.
Kyle: Damn!
Cartman: Well screw you too.
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Sure Hun.
Cartman: Kick Ass!
Cartman: Hey, ill blow your freakin head off you peice of crap!
Mr.Mackey: I mean your one screwed up little kid, do you understand?
Cartman: He is a very disturbed little boy.
Ms.Cartman: You want some Cheesy Poofs?
Cartman: Yeah I want Cheesy Poofs!
Ms.Cartman: You can have a eensy weensy bit can't you?
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Cartman: Okay!
Ms. Cartman: I bought you some Cheesy Poofs and Happy tarts!
Cartman: God Damnit!
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Mr.Garrison: Dumb ass, what a retard!
Stan: You fat fuck!
Kyle: Screw You.
Stan: Dude.
Mr.Garrison: Don't be such a little wuss!
Officer Barbrady: Fruitcake!
Cartman: Bitch.
Wendy: No, I'm not acting like a freak!
Cartman: Well I was standing out in a field and I had this huge satellite dish
sticking out of my butt, and then there were hundereds of cows and aliens, and
then I went up on the ship, and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye!
Stan: What the hell are you talking about!
Mr. Garrison: There are no stupid questions, just stupid people!
Wendy: Barf is gross!
Cartman: Nobody gives a rat's ass!
Pippins: Lunchy munchy hmm!
Stan: Oh yeah? Well at least my moms not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!
Cartman: Damnit, would you shut the hell up?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Starvin' Marvin: Yeah I want da cheezy poof!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Hankey: Howdy Ho!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Cartman: Son of a bitch.
Jesus: Yay, believe in me, and ye shall find peace, the way is paved with gold for ye who seek truth!
Ring Announcer: Wearing very very black trunks...the king of all that is evil...
Towns People: Barbara Striesand, Barbera Striesand!
Barbera Striesand: I'm Barbera Striesand!
Chef: Barbera Striesand?
Leonard Maltin: Barbera Striesand.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby!
Leonard Maltin: Leonard Maltin.
Leonard Maltin: Sydney Potier.
Chef: Sydney Potier?!
Stan: Oh yeah.
B.S.: Your some little hick!
Stan: You ugly skank!
Cartman: Damn your black heart, Barbera Stiesand! Hey! Why dont you stop dressin' me up like a mailman, and making me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!

Friday Night….

On a warm Friday evening back in 2019, around 6p, I get a desperate call from my best friend… “Can you stay at the house this weekend, entertain her, please” he desperately begins the call with? “Her” is his wife… I chime in “yeah man, she’s definitely feeling lonely lately” I say as I push for specifics…

(her and I chat, he and I chat, offering my opinion is very common as this has been the topic of conversation for quite some time)

Ignoring me completely, he continues,

“She keeps busting my balls, calling every 10 mins. She feels isolated, alone, you know how she is!” Again, I chime in, “brother she’s 40, the kids are almost out of the house, she wants you to spend time with her, take her to dinner, do shit”. He wants to respond but has nothing, he knows I’m right. “Brother, you both can afford to go do things, she wants to go places, experience life”.

For the record, and totally off topic. this man’s wife has the greatest pair of big fat tits. For those who think “bigger is better”, this is the one! Furthermore,
she’s thick but tone with dirty blonde hair, about 5’7”. Thinking about it, she has Kitty Lee’s body with a much prettier face.. A very attractive woman with a body built for fucking.

(according to hubby, she has a high sex drive and is very open minded… Cocksucker hit the lotto for sure)

With a long sigh he annoyingly utters what I could see coming from a mile away, “I don’t have time for this, Bobby is about to go on, can you stay at my place and keep her off my back so I can enjoy myself?”

And there it is…..

Honestly, he’s frustrated, I get it. He plans ahead for this weekend long festival well in advance, keeps her in the loop through the entire process, it’s kind of fucked thats she’s laying this guilt trip on him while he’s hours away. I’m torn, he’s been dropping the ball with regard to their marriage for a while now.. Then again, this is his once a year “get fucked up and jam out with thousands of dirty hippies weekend, “I suppose she should honor that.

Regardless…

Reluctantly, I respond with Sure man, I’ll head up there now and hang with her….” (honestly, I just want to hang at home, rub one out and crash, it’s been a long week but fuck it, she’s good people and fun to drink with)

Relieved, he replies “text me when you get up there, I’ll call and let her know, thanks brother” and quickly hangs up.. I set the phone down, take a deep breath, collect my shit and prepare for my hour long trip….

A bit of background on the friendship. Buddy and his wife married young, 18-19, had kids, they’re in their teens. We’ve known each other for about 20 years and they are 4-5 years my senior.

For the last few years we do dinner on Friday evenings at their place, a modest spot in the middle of cow country. We smoke, drink and eat well. I normally stay the night, sometimes sticking around on Saturdays to help with ongoing renovation projects.

We’re all an open book by the way, we know everything about each other. It’s actually very nice, I enjoy their company, as they definitely enjoy mine..

I’m divorced, have a great job and a high school age kid. I also have a very comfortable couch and plenty of food in a decent suburban apartment.
An apartment I will enjoy some other time, my drive is complete..

Teresa (wife) is on the porch, shorts, tank top, drinking a rum and coke. She has her hair in a ponytail, which is new for her. She normally dresses like a Sunday school teacher. Her hair always down, outfits very conservative, “boring” is the best way to put it. She certainly doesn’t show off her figure, her gigantic tits always put away, which is a shame quite frankly..

With a hug and peck on the cheek, I make a sarcastic comment, as I normally do, “sweet handle bar, you’re missing one side”. Teresa gives me a “you’re not funny” smirk” and proceeds to tell me that she’s been “experimenting with new styles”.

I waste no time, “you got it, flaunt it, I know Sam (hubby) would like to see more of you experimenting”. She immediately lets out a laugh, like, a quick chuckle filled with doubt, if that makes sense?

Again, in a serious tone I proclaim, “seriously, switch it up, show him you still got it, let him see other men gawk at you, get that little head going…..” She looks at me defeated and says “he knows what I have, what he has access to. He chooses to ignore me” using her hands to outline her breasts and body, exactly how the Price is Right women would display a new prize.. “I’m lonely, tired of being treated like I don’t exist. Months ago I asked him to sit the festival out” she exclaimed. “I asked if we could go away, focus on us for a minute, that I needed him…” Starting to well up, she rhetorically asks “Where is he” as she walks into the house….

So here I am, barely been there 10 minutes, she’s already crying and I’m on the porch by myself thinking “you couldn’t of talked about something else, you had to immediately bring up her failing marriage, good job jackass”….

She’s a strong woman, emotional and poetic, but tough. It wasn’t long before I hear her calling my name from inside the house. I take a deep breath and head inside. Teresa is in the kitchen, she cleaned herself up and is mixing both of a strong cocktail. Without missing a beat, she hands me my drink, we cheers and take a sip as she immediately picks up from where we left off.

As she starts to speak I take a step forward and gently lean in to give her a warm, comforting hug. I definitely surprised the shit out of her. At first she was stiff as board, cold, surprised at my very forward act. It took a minute before you could feel her body relax…. Not saying a word, we stood there hugging, my arms around her upper shoulders, hers around d my waste. Both of us, a firm yet gentle embrace, you could tell it meant something. It was quite nice if I’m being honest.

(being a dude, I have to point out how great her tits felt pressed against my chest, I finally have visual confirmation, as well as touch, of just how fucking big they are. Her puffy hard nipples, pressed against my chest, perfecto!)

After what felt like 20 minutes, I now have a rock hard dick so I pull away. “You’re a smart, beautiful, sexy woman who deserves happiness” I say, as I try to conceal my very obvious excitement. She looks at me and smiles as I conclude my thought “ponytail and tank top, my new favorite look” as I look down, laser focused on her giant titties that were currently on display, hours and hours of fun, beautiful cleavage, no bra)

Remember when I said “we know everything about each other?” It’s no secret hubby and I both have a thing for huge giant titties, conversations she’s been privy too, normally just giggling and walking away.. Staring down at them was certainly knew, however, she was well aware of my infatuation, in general, for big natural breasts. Yeah, I’ve looked at her, but nothing more than looking, in my head she’s a no-go, off limits..

It’s at that moment, still in our embrace, she says “I have to come clean”. Oh boy” spews out of my mouth as I question her, not with words, but wi5 the look in my eyes….

“I’ve had a crush on you for the last 20 years.” And don’t worry, Sam knows, he thinks it’s funny. “But, I want you to know, I’ve always had a thing for you.” Shocked, I ask “When me and the ex visited you, is this why you treated her poorly? Shaking her head in agreement, Teresa responds “that bitch took you for granted, treated you like shit for years”, you deserved better, fuck her”.

I laugh out loud as I share “she’s my one and only bad lay, dead inside and in the sack, terribly boring with no enthusiasm, a waste……” Teresa chuckles and shares “well, at least Sam has a big dick but I fantasize about other people when he fucks me. The one or two times a month he does fuck me, I keep my eyes closed, I go through the motions to keep my life semi-normal, but I’m not in love with him anymore, too many years have gone by, I’m over it”.

“Teresa, I had no idea it was this bad, I know he can be a dick, but never thought it was on this level, what are you going to do?” Teresa takes a step back, grabs our drinks and confidently shares “Hanna has three years of school left” as she hands me my drink, “once she graduates and goes to college, I’m leaving”. Her eyes start to fill with tears as we both take a big gulp of intoxicatingly strong rum and cokes… She leans over, grabs a tissue and wipes her eyes as we both take a well deserved gulp of mind numbing spirits…

Our drinks polished off, Teresa quickly time for another” as she grabs my glass and heads for the counter…… Unsure of what to say, completely blown away with the last hour of my life, Teresa swings her head around, ponytail in the air, and says “I’m sorry if my confession has made you uncomfortable, that was not my intention, I just needed you to know” as she turned her head forward to focus on drinks.

I don’t know what came over me, but I felt this urge to hold her.. The last hour had quickly turned in an emotional adventure for the two of us. However, she had a minimum of three years of hell to go through, which saddened me. I had lived that life and it miserable, my heart ached for her.

Throwing caution to the wind, I walked over and wrapped my arms around her stomach, careful to stay below her breasts, resting my head on her shoulder. She took a deep breath and reached for my arms. I whispered in her ear, “I’m here for you” as she let out a whimper and sigh of relief.

It wasn’t long before my dick was coming to life.. She was absolutely pressing her ass just enough for my guy to feel it. Moving from side to side, T was knowingly trying to get me hard and I could care less. I whisper in her ear “I know what you’re doing”, as I begin to mirror her movements, moving my dick from side to side, pushing in….

With both a whimper and deep breath Teresa takes her hand and begins to run it along my covered dick.. “Oh yeah” she says as I let out a gentle moan, immediately, and slowly, moving my fingers to the base of her giant breasts. I think to myself, “Finally” as I open my hands and grab the biggest pair of tits I’ve ever felt. Teresa let’s out a soft moan, catching her breath enough to say “please fuck me!”

Im so fucking hard I can’t stand it, as I respond “soon baby, soon” as I move my right hand inside her waistband, her pussy and clit my targets. She moans out again as I take my left hand, already squeezing and pinching her left nipple, I quickly grab her throat, pulling her head to my my face, forcefully, T whimpering away “How bad do do you want my dick in you” I whisper as she runs her tongue along her upper lip..

3 seconds later, and not missing a beat, Teresa, her hand in my pants now, my dick in hand……. Actually, it’s more like, “Teresa the magician, her hands suddenly down my pants, with a king fu grip on my dick, a grip so tight she could tell you how many beats per minute my heart was pumping” she’s rapid fire jerking me, it’s to tip, long strong stokes……

In return, my left hand still gripping her neck and my right hand buried in her pussy, I have two fingers fucking her pussy while rubbing and pressing her clit with her thumb.. T, well, she starts to moan and loudly and shake as she nutted all all over my fingers….

Teresa hadn’t been touched like this for some time, that was evident!

I nibble on her ear lobe, as she catches her breath, still feeling the effects of my fingers…. I whisper, “now you can have my dick”, slide me into your pussy” as I turn her to the right, and bend her over her kitchen table.. With my dick rock hard and still in her hand, I grab her ponytail and make my way for her opening.. With my left hand, now gripping the sexiest tits I’ve ever played with, I turn her head toward mine and say “that’s my pussy” as she loudly grunts out “take your pussy” as she rests my dickhead at the opening of her love canal..

Deep breath, deep breath as I tease Teresa with my dick, ready to push in fully, sliding in, the phone rang.. I pause, caught of guard by the phone, I say “fucking figures” as T slams her ass backwards and takes my dick…. “Yeah it does” she says as I quickly remember what my objective is….Pony-tail pulled back, left hand firmly holding a giant tit, sexy mom/wife panting as her wet pussy is ready to make a mess, I lay into to her, hard, deep, and aggressive, phone ringing off the hook…..

Let’s be honest… This didn’t last long… 5-6 minutes later, as our hearts race, Teresa screams out “you’re going to make me cum” in what I can only describe as a surprised tone.. “You’re pussy s soaked i murmur, ponytail still in hand, her back still arched, her moans and pants, now similar to a countdown. She’s ready to blow boys!! I give her everything I have, table creaking, both of us moaning loudly, Teresa’s pussy tightens…..

That’s all it took! In unison, I thrusted as deep as I could into her tightened pussy, and fucking unloaded as T let me know just how appreciative she was, nearly falling over as she came all over my dick. With her ponytail still in hand, left titty still firmly in my clutch, I bit on her ear and neck as we both appreciated just felt the effects of a fantastic nut……

A few minutes later, both of us, chuckling and giddy, completely spun from what just happened, get a drink of water. As I’m guzzling like a thirsty African baby, T pipes up and says “I haven’t came like that in years” as she stood back and took a sip of water, almost shocked at what happened. I ask if everything is ok and she quickly says “oh yes” as she intentionally spills water out of her mouth and down her huge jugs. “Thirsty” she asks as I quickly do what a man with a huge natural tit fetish does, as I grab both tits, in a loving embrace, pull them to my face, kiss her deeply and begin sucking her nipples………

Oh yeah, the ringing phone? That was Sam, I forgot to let him know I had arrived… No worries, 60 seconds after pumping his wife full of my nut, as I’m sucking her tits, Sam called back.. T answered, out of breath, Sam completely unfazed, he babbled away, praising me up and down to T, as she stroked my dick.

Sam, “so happy” that I “gave up my weekend to help him out”, requested me on the phone.. “Yo brother” I shout as he immediately thanks me then starts a long winded diatribe, excited to share the highlights of the bands, the setting and the great food. T, left to her own devices, grabs my dick, fat tits swinging, full naked body, she leads me by my dick to the couch as she holds up two fingers…. Sam, he’s still raving about his stress free hippy induced weekend, clueless to the fact that as I say ”sounds like so much fun brother” his wife is on her back, legs spread, pussy soaked, guiding my dick back in the very same spot Sam used to call home.. Round 2 has indeed started,,

Sam called back the next day, he and I on the phone for quite awhile. I remember him saying “its much more relaxed now” as he immediately started the process of repeating the same shit he said the night before, which led to him thanking me again for getting his wife off his back… “Yeah man, she seems happy to have company” I blurt out as he asks for me to put her on the phone…

“Oh man, she’s at the market” I say, as Sam chuckles quite loudly, blurting out “yeah she loves spending my money,” as he chuckled on, eventually saying “I’ll call later” as he hung up…. I’d imagine he saw a half naked dirty chick, or dudes eating shrooms, which is why he just hung up.. He was “on to the next one” ass they say…

Speaking of which…

I’m triple checking to make sure the phone is off screaming out “I can’t hold it anymore!” T, mouth soaked with saliva and spit, and clearly not at the market, grabs my nuts and slams her face to the base of my dick, not missing a beat, or drop, as she emptied my sack deep in her throat… Like a bitch, I screamed out as I felt every last drop empty my nuts. By the way, a second orgasm not long after a man’s first orgasm is quite intense, it’s quite nice!

Teresa enjoyed sucking my dick with her husband on the phone. Admittedly, I enjoyed it as well. The threat of getting caught is quite addictive. So much so, we test the limits of our sexual prowess weekly. I fuck my friends wife regularly, right under his nose..

Case in point-

Friday before Christmas, while Sam sits in his recliner, stoned out of his mind, eating cookies zoned out, Teresa and I will go for a night walk. Sam completely unfazed and happy to have the tv to himself, clueless that his wife and over night guest are 20 ft away, watching him watch tv, fucking like school kids. Me squeezing her nipples, smacking that ass, pulling her hair, drilling her pussy! Teresa, holding onto a tree, taking my dick from behind like the good girl she is, her fat little pussy tightening as she cums, while empty my seed deep into her, fully embraced, while hubby watches cartoons or some shit…

Or right now.. He just got in the shower. T, in a flannel, no bra, immediately goes in and grabs a tissue, making sure the coast is clear. Sam, fully engulfed in washing his ass has no idea his wife literally walked out of the bathroom, about 10ft, slide her pants down and sat on his buddies dick. Of course, I’m unbuttoning and pulling the monsters out, as the smell of Irish Spring permeates the air..

Till next time..

I'm a 6'6 white guy. All my girlfriends were spinners, tallest many 5'6, a few Latinas but mainly White. My wife's a 5'3 redhead, very pale. Anyhow last week I had to do an airport pickup down in the city. It's the yearly mother-in-law visit out to see the grandkids. Afternoon flight, I leave early to dodge traffic. 3hr drive, app on the phone texts the delay when I'm halfway there. Screw it I know a local go-go bar. It's topless, cheap, big hits and cold beers. Thing is it's a Black neighborhood, this is post BLM, I wasn't sure how my showing up would go. I show up, I walk in, cash is king and they're empty anyways. There's a couple busty Latinas and a slim top heavy Black girl. Im the only guy. I'm polite, we all laugh and flirt. I'm nursing the beer since I have to drive. It comes out that I dated Latinas, never dated Black. Well she hears that and now I've got a beautiful Ebony ass rubbing my crotch. It's teasing, Latinas are egging her on, she's definitely got me hot. She gets between me and the bar, then turns, bends over, and full on presses into me. That's when I felt her hands. She's tracing my cock through my shorts with her fingertips. A gentle tug and she slips my shorts down. As she's guiding and teasing with one hand the other goes in her purse. Wasn't planned, in fact I was talking to the Latinas while it happened, but she slipped one on and slipped me in. So that's that I've got a Black girl bent over the bar and a Latina kissing me. I keep a steady rhythm. Just enough to be exciting but want to make it last. Latina kissing my puts her hand down there for some extra tease. Didn't take long I feel the Black girl tighten. She probably thought I'd pop, I didn't. I fucked her right through it and kept going. You could hear her breath change and the other Latina started cracking jokes about her going early. The kissing Latina and I rolled her a second time. This time I reached under and pinched the Black Girl's pencil nips while the Latina smothered me in her tits. Felt her tighten a second time, still didn't pop. Latina says flat out that the Black girl better turn around and start sucking. Fuck she was good. DT, playing with my balls, sloppy and amazing and Latina kept kissing while the other joked. I felt the rubber slide off as the joker whispered in my ear. Two Latinas jerking me on an eager tongue, they pulled up at the last minute and the Black Girl got sprayed. 5 ropes, just one after the other. One Latina kissing, the other laughing, put my dick in her mouth right after. Truth is I wanted more. She got up and I turned her around. Bent her over a second time, new rubber, fucked her as hard as I could. So hot fucking a hoe whose already got your cum on her face. I just  hammered her until we both popped. I didn't realize until after that 6 huge Black guys had walked in and watched the show. They didn't even let her clean up. Once I popped the Latina moved me over and they ran a train on her Black ass. The Latina cracking jokes climbed on the bar, spread, and made the Black chick eat her. I cleaned up, finished my beer, and picked up the mother-in-law 20 minutes later. Completely clueless, kept saying how relaxed I looked.

Asian women share tips on how to catch a man and keep him happy.

For generations Asian women learned how to treat a man by following rules laid down by Thai philosopher Sunthron Phu in his book Maxims for Teaching Women. Now they�ve taken his words of wisdom that have been passsed down fro more than 2,000 years and updated them to deal with men in 2012.

Here are the winning recommendations for Western women who want to trade be successful in love and marriage:

1) YOUR MAN IS KING - Remember that your man/husband comes first � before you, your parents, your outside interests or even your children
2) RISE EARLY. Get up in the morning before your man does. Make sure you prepare a healthy breakfast so he gets a good start on the day. Even if you have to leave before him, make sure he has a nice breakfast waiting for him when he comes into the kitchen in the morning.
3) NEVER NAG. Never, ever. If he wants to stop off after work and have a few drinks with his buddies, that�s his business. If he forgot to take out the garbage � do it yourself.
4) BE AT HOME. Make sure you�re always at home when he gets in from a hard day at the office. Even if you are working, make sure you get home to your man/husband as soon as possible.
5) SMILE. Always greet your man with a smile on your face and, if you can, a cold drink in your hand.
6) DINNER READY. If you are home, or get home first, always have a delicious dinner ready to be served. And if he comes home feeling tense, give him a massage to ease his aches and pains.
7) LET HIM HANG WITH FRIENDS. If your man wants to have his buddies over for a night of poker, or football, or video games, don�t get mad. Encourage it and make sure you�ve got lots of sandwiches and cold beer on hand to serve them.
8) ASK FIRST. Always ask him first before you go spending his hard-earned money, or even your hard-earned money, to buy something for yourself.
9) REMOTE CONTROL. Let him choose the programs you watch onteleveision. The television is man�s domain� he should be in charge. And only Netflix/rent HIS favorite movies or TV shows.
10) OBEY. Don�t do things your husband doesn�t approve of. And don�t complain about it. If he doesn�t want you wasting your time watching soap operas or having coffee with a neighbor, obey him. You�ll both be happier for it.
11) WILD IN BED. Be a temptress in bed. If he likes you in sexy lingerie, wear it. Be shy and demure when you�re out in public, but once the lights are out, let him know he�s the only man in the world who can please you.
2) KNOW SPORTS. Bone up on sports so you�ll have something to talk about. But always let him start the conversation.

13) KEEP FIT. Keep yourself in shape and always dress nicely so you�ll be a wife any husband would be proud to have.
14) CLEANING. Keep your home spic and span at all times. It should look like you�re expecting company. And the laundry should always be done. Your man should never have to look for clean socks or underwear and his shirts should all be ironed � by you.

Follow ALL these steps and you will be happy for the rest of your life!

My Chinese experience.

I moved to China from the USA 7 months ago for a job. This place is great if you are a want to get laid. I was never really into asian chicks until I moved here. Sure I whacked it to a few asian prons in my lifetime but it was never my thing.

It is so fucking easy to get laid in China. If you cannot get laid in the USA but have the money to take a trip I recommend coming to China. These Chinese girls are so down to fuck Americans its crazy.

First of all they are all relatively hot. The majority of chicks that are here are skinny. Very rarely do you see overweight women. I'm sure these numbers are growing because you do see McDonalds, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Etc. but at the moment most chicks are reasonably skinny. Even the fat chicks are pretty skinny compared to US chicks.

They all dress slutty. I live in southern China but have traveled around a bit since moving here. All the girls wear tiny ass shorts or skirts, high heels, and possibly tights or stockings. Pretty fucking hot. If you are a leg man then China is heaven for you. Even the older women here look damn hot.

These chicks have no hair on their bodies. Legs and arms are fucking smoooooth. You may find a little bit of hair under their arms and their snatches can be a bit of a jungle but the rest of their bodies are smooth sailing. No stubble, they just do not grow hair on most of their body. The hair on their head is pretty sexy though. They normally have long flowing black hair. A lot of them dye their hair red or blonde so these chicks stand out a bit but their hair is pretty damn hot.

You have a slight western influence on their fashion. I have not seen so much spandex or hipster glasses in my life. These chicks make it look hot though. If you are into gaps then China is the place to go. Gaps occur on skinny chicks where there is space between their thighs. Never really noticed this before but here in China there are so many chicks with gaps that you have to notice. Pretty hot. All you can think about is the easy access you have to their snizatch.

These chicks like western dudes. I've seen some ugly expats here with pretty hot chicks. It helps, of course, if you have a bit of money.

prostitution is pretty much legal

here is how it works

its illegal but nobody gives a shit

there are a few levels of prostitution here

there are the street girls

cost about 150rmb which is about 20 bucks are so. you just pull up to a whore store and the mommy (female pimp) brings out a line up of girls. you pick your girl and take her back to your place or you can rent a decent hotel room for around 8 bucks for a few hours. chicks are pretty hot. they will go with you and shower with you. then either fuck or suck until you are done. then take their payment and then leave. sometimes if you give them 150 rmb the girl will give you a few dollars change. The great thing about these street girls is that they will normally give you their phone number so you can call them directly without having to go through the mommy. you wont pay any less but they will show up to your door and you don't have to go through the hassle of going the the whore store (sometimes its closed)

you can also go to KTV. KTV is a karaoke spot. some of them are bit different but a lot of them are the same. You pay for the private room and some booze. pay for the Dj and then they bring in a line up of 10-20 or more chicks depending on where you go. these chicks are pretty damn hot. you give them maybe 200-300 RMB for them to be your companion during the evening. once you pick a chick they will either keep their formal clothes on or change into street clothes. they will sit with you all night, talk to you, pour your drinks, sing with you, light your smokes, and let you semi grope them. if they are into you you can get a bit more action for free. Ive seed guys get blowjobs or handjobs or kisses from KTV chicks that are attacted to them. Ive also seen chicks that are just jobbers that do not do anything to exciting most of the night. You can take some of these broads home. Normally will cost you a few hundred more RMB. Not all of them are whores so you may be SOL if you pick the wrong one. The ones that do go home are pretty fun.

You can also go to the chinese massage. you can get a foot massage here for 50rmb or less than 10 bucks. chicks massage your whole body then spend a long time on your feet. Nothing crazy sexual but they normally wear pretty short skirts and flirt with you a bit.

These same massage parlors offer full body massages. costs about 100rmb or around 16 bucks. they will take your shirt off and make you lay down. massage your whole body including your ass and legs. then when they are done they will flip you over and jerk you off. chicks are hot. wear short skirts and sort of hump you all night while they massage you. hand jobs are pretty good. they will slip a finger in your ass if you are into that and sometimes you can get a couple chicks if you want to pay. the massage includes a hot shower so it is a pretty good way to relax.

you have saunas that you can go to. pretty much the best shit ive had since ive been here. combines all the previous shit into one slam bamma. you walk into a lobby and they bring in a line up of chicks. you pick the one you want. they are all dressed hot. and she takes you to a private room. then she changes in front of you to something sexy and she has you take a shower. she will shower with you if you want and she will scrub you down. she is normally naked and she will play with your dick a little bit. then she puts you on a massage table and gives you a naked massage. she will mount you and give you a shitty massage. bitch is a whore not a fucking licensed masseuse but it feels good enough. when you are done with the massage she will take you into the bedroom and then the fun starts. they normally put on some japanese porn on the tv that is pretty hot and then you get down to business. pretty much anything goes. most chicks wont let you fuck them in the ass but they will blow you from any position and let you fuck them for as long as it takes.sometimes they have toys. pretty much always you have to wear a condom. they will play with you until you are done then you can take another shower or bath. whole thing is like 600rmb which is around 100 bucks. pretty dope time.

girls are hot. all look pretty young. i have had a few older women which was kinda weird getting a hj from a chick that could be my aunt but w/e

there are higher level hos that are available as well, just havent experienced them for myself. there are also places that deliver chicks to your hotel room. they send a line up and you pick the one you want. sometimes 1000-1500 rmb.

my favorite is the sauna. pretty reasonable for the time you get. the street hos are pretty fun but it is hit or miss. sometimes you get girl that blows but does not fuck and then sometimes vice versa. you do luck out sometimes and get a hottie that blows and fucks but you gotta grab these bitches numbers because they normally get scooped up pretty quick.

sometimes after chinese new year your favorite girl will go back to their hometown and never come back. i dont think that whoreing is looked down on as much in China. it seems as if a lot of regular girls may try it out to make a bit of money for a little while. a lot of them get burned out and then go get regular jobs or regular girlfriends but they can give you a pretty damn good ride while they are testing the waters.

TL/DR come to china if you want to empty your balls

I've just turned 50 and with that age bracket - there comes problems, the main ones being an enlarged prostate and erectile disfunction. I've got some Cialis and sometimes I wonder if a lot of the ED isn't psychological. My wife and I have been in an open marriage for a few years, she's bisexual and I love the fringe benefits of it. One night she went to a bar and brought back a very attractive female, who was about 45 years old (same age as my wife).
They were both tipsy, and my wife introduced me to Jessie, raven haired, medium sized tits and a nice tight body. They sat down on the couch and invited me over. Small chit chat ensued. My wife poured her some wine, and she drank some too - I refused because I knew that just in case I was going to get lucky, drinking wine would screw with my ED. I stepped away for a minute and went into the bedroom and took a Cialis, got a drink of water and chugged it. I went back into the living room where they were sitting and they were making out. Jessie noticed me, and stopped kissing my wife.
"Oh, I'm sorry I thought you were going into the other room to give us privacy..."
My heart sunk, looks like I wasn't going to be sticking my dick into Jessie tonight.
"My bad," I said, looking down - defeated.
My wife saw that I was a bit hurt and explained, "Jessie is a lesbian, she isn't into men... she doesn't mean any disrespect..."
I should really give them their privacy, I thought...
"Ok, cool - I'm going out."
So I got in my car and drove around, no destination - but then I thought about it, I just took a Cialis. Pretty soon my cock would be begging for some wet hole to fuck. I guess I could get sloppy seconds once my wife is done with Jessie... but that could be a while, so I decided to go to an adult bookstore a few miles from my house. Weird shit popped into my mind, "Maybe there's a hot chick I could fuck in a glory hole, I've never done that... or maybe I can get an escort or hooker..."
All kinds of shit was going through my mind. This bookstore is a 24 hour store, so I went in and it was busy as fuck. All I wanted to do was ask the guy behind the counter where to find a lady of the evening, but too many people were around him. I noticed two women looking at toys and giggling, the looked like they were in their mid 20s, so I tried to blend in and started looking at masturbators. The small version of the Fleshlight was 79$?! I was taken aback and shaking my head. I was trying to maintain the "no eye contact" creed while I browsed all kinds of toys. I stopped in front of the 'prostate massager' section, all shapes and sizes - I never had a massager or anything anal but I heard of the wonders of prostate massages. Too bad my wife and her new friend were fucking around or I'd definitely try to experience something like that. I heard a little whisper behind me, something like "you ask him..."
I turned around and it was the giggling ladies. One was a brunette with very dark brown eyes, the other woman had purple and white streaks in her hair, but had cool blue eyes. Both were very attractive.
"Hmm? What's up ladies? I asked.
They blushed, "ummm, are you gay? No offense if you are... we're just wondering about the prostate massagers..."
I blushed, "OH, NO NO! I'm not gay, I'm straight..." so I did something that I never did with a stranger, I opened up, "I have ED, and I've done some reading and some people say these things help. I just turned 50 a few days ago, and my wife is at home banging her girlfriend and I'm just here... browsing because - well I just took a damn Cialis and ... well that's that. Sorry if it's too much information... I'm not a creep or anything."
The brunette smirked, "You don't look 50 at all, I thought you were about 35 or 40 at most."
Purple haired girl nudged her friend, "he's cute for a 50 year old..."
They both giggled and blushed. I didn't know what to say, this was odd because I've never talked to anyone in any adult bookstore given the exception of the checkout clerk. They saw I was struggling too, and the purple haired one spoke up.
"So you let your wife bang other women? That's kinda hot... I just broke up with my boyfriend, and Amanda just doesn't like dating at all so we're both kinda of single but we keep each other company if you know what I mean?"
My dick twitched.
"I'm Mike," I said, extending a hand out to the purple haired girl. She took it, and replied, "I'm Mary and this is Amanda, nice to meet you Mike."
Amanda's face was turning a bit red, "Mike, since you don't have anything else to do, you want to join us for some coffee? There is a cafe just down the street!"
I agreed, and started walking towards the door when Mary said, "Mike, aren't you forgetting something?" while pointing to the prostate massager.
I picked up the smaller one, $45... and headed for the check out. I paid for it and the clerk put it in a black bag. I turned around and Amanda and Mary were gone. Well there goes that. I left the store and walked to my car.
"Mike!" I heard a call from a distance, it was Amanda waving from across the parking lot.
"Oh I thought you both bugged out," I laughed.
She took me by the arm, "oh hell no, and miss the chance to hang out with a sexy 50 year old with ED??"
We both laughed. Mary, Amanda and me walked down the street arm in arm to a cafe. We sat down and talked for what seemed to be hours. These two women were not only attractive, but smart as hell too. I asked how old they were.
Amanda spoke first, "I'm 23, just turned 23 in January."
"I'm 26," Mary said sipping her coffee.
I laughed, "you're both half my age!"
"Older men are sexy, our generation likes older men. You guys know what you want and you're not complete idiots, or assholes," Amanda said.
Again, my dick twitched.
Mary looked me in the eyes, "we're freaks in the sheets, Mike."
I couldn't help myself, "is that an invitation?"
Amanda put her hand on my knee, "why would two girls in their 20's be hanging out at a bookstore at night unless they had an agenda? You were the first decent guy that came in there and we were in there for a while..."
My heart started racing.
"We're gonna put your little toy to the test, if you let us..."
I was in for an adventure of a lifetime.
We went back and got in my car, I drove them to Mary's apartment, and we all went inside. There really wasn't any wasting time. They stripped me down as soon as the door was shut. My cock was in Amanda's mouth as Mary's tongue probed my throat. My hands wandered from Mary's sexy tits, down to her dripping wet pussy. My cock was rock hard as Amanda shoved it all the way in her mouth to the hilt. I'll admit, I don't have a huge cock, I'm just normal - but the way she was sucking my dick put me on top of the world. They led me to the bedroom and Amanda pushed me down on the bed. Mary unwrapped the prostate massager and started playing with it using her pussy. She let it slip inside her.
I got kind of worried, I never had anything going up my ass before... so my erection started going down.
"Oh, baby - nothing to worry about - just relax..." Mary said.
Amanda climbed on top of my face and I started licking her pussy, she smelled really good, and her pussy tasted sweet. Amanda started moaning and I grabbed on to her nice soft ass to steady her.
I felt Mary playing with my cock, pumping it with her hand, then I felt her mouth around it and I was hard again. As Amanda rod my face, Mary mounted my hard dick and I felt how tight she was. I moaned as her pussy stroked me up and down.
Amanda came hard on my face, squirting a little - but I didn't mind at all. I held her against my mouth until she almost passed out.
Amanda crawled off to the side, and shivered. I could see Mary in all of her glory, bouncing on my cock, smiling. Her nails sunk into my chest as she rode me, moaning. Amanda got up and started fingering Mary's clit and licking her tits as she rode me. Soon Mary came hard, and I could feel her warm pussy juices dripping onto my balls.
"Your turn," Amanda said to me as she grabbed the prostate massager and rubbed it on her pussy.
"We gotta get it nice and wet Mr. Mike..."
Mary spit on her fingers and started rubbing my asshole and Amanda slowly pushed the pussy juice soaked massager in. I moaned in pain, that shit hurt...
"It's ok Mike, we're going to go slow..." and they did.
Mary started sucking on my cock as Amanda slowly used the toy on me. I tried my best to relax. I was trying to focus past the pain... it took a while but Amanda started hitting something that felt so good.
"That's it Mike, relax... we're going to drain those balls..." Amanda said, pushing the toy in, and pulling it slightly out. She started going faster, and then faster as Mary moved her mouth up and down on my pulsating cock.
"Give us all that cum babe, come on..."
I had these two young women fucking the shit out of me... and I felt this weird feeling starting to erupt around my entire body, like all of my nerves were electrified (but in a good way). Suddenly my cock erupted as Mary stopped sucking both of them literally started making out as cum exploded on their tongues and faces. They moaned, they licked my cock and more cum sprayed out. Mary deep throated me, then Amanda did. Then they kissed deeply. I was on the verge of passing out.
"Did you like that, Mike?"
"HOLY FUCK LADIES" I gasped.
They both laughed. They took the massager out of me and put it in a bag.
"I'm going to give you my number, I really hope you call me... I wouldn't mind having more adventures with you..."
"Did you think this was a one time deal old man??" Mary joked.
"You can spend the night with us if you want... no strings, just chill and cuddle and sleep..."
Amanda lit a joint and took a small hit, passing it to me. I took a hit, held it in and let it go as I passed the joint to Mary.
"I'd love to spend the night," I said as we all laid in the bed together.
When I woke up in the morning, both of these babes were cuddled into me. I woke them up and told them I had to go home. They both kissed me goodbye, we exchanged information and they promised me that there were a lot more adventures to come.
When I got home, my wife was passed out in bed with Jessie. Both were naked. Jessie had a tit hanging out of the covers, it was a little saggy compared to the ladies I just spent the evening with.
I started cooking some eggs, but couldn't help of thinking of Amanda and Mary.
I have to confess, I think I am falling in love with two women I just met at an adult bookstore... I've never been treated like that in my life, I felt like a king. Not only was everyone sexually satisfied, we all got along great. Maybe I'm just too deep into a fantasy with two young ladies... but honestly I want more of them. Not even concerned with fucking my wife at this point.

It was a Friday evening in late March 2019. My wife was halfway through her two-week overseas trip to visit her brother, and I had the house to myself (except for my cat). Earlier that week I’d texted Jamie to see if she was up for a visit to one of our local XXX theaters, a possibility we’d tossed back and forth since earlier in the year. She and I met the previous October, when a buddy of mine had arranged a gang bang as part of our group’s ongoing activities. Using Craigslist personals, our cadre of six to eight guys, aged 50-plus, had fucked close to a dozen women over the previous year. With that platform’s demise, activity was down considerably, but we’d had one great last party, with Jamie as the target. She’s in her mid-30s, a petite 5’1” and just slightly more than 120 pounds, a natural brunette with dyed-blonde streaks, a shaved pussy, and 34B tits. On that October 2018 Sunday afternoon, five of us guys (ranging in age from 53 to 67) worked her over for the better part of three hours. Every hole was violated multiple times, she had semen leaking out of both lower orifices (not to mention the multiple shots she’d taken down her throat), and her orgasms had easily surpassed the two-dozen mark. Driving her home later that day from the hotel room where we’d done our dirty work, Jamie insisted she’d had the time of her life.

Five months later, I contacted her to ask if she wanted to accept the offer I’d made on that drive home. Jamie returned my text midday Thursday, and I agreed to pick her up the following evening for a night of as much semi-public debauchery as she could handle. It turned out she’d just been released from jail that day, having served five days in the county lockup for failing to appear at a DUI hearing. Subsequently bailed out by a friend, she announced how horny she felt, clearly ready for some action.

She popped into my car wearing a black mesh see-through top (no bra), covered by a light zip-up jacket, plus a black micro-mini skirt (barely covering her ass) and ankle boots with four-inch heels. I asked what she was wearing underneath the skirt, and in reply she grabbed my hand and shoved it between her thighs. “Black crotchless panties. You like them?” she asked. Her pussy was silky smooth and already wet.

We drove over to Circus Cinemas, the XXX movie house in North Denver. The downstairs area is an adult store, featuring tons of videos for sale plus every possible type of sex toy you can imagine. Upstairs there are three theaters, each showing hardcore fuck films. One is devoted exclusively to gay porn, while the other two show a constantly rotating mix of professionally shot hetero porn drawn from studios like Brazzers, Vixen Video, etc. A few years ago, the owners had installed new fold-down stadium-type seats with armrests in between each. The theaters have seven or eight rows of five seats each, but the place rarely has more than 12-18 patrons at any one time.

I paid our $12 entry fee and we headed up the stairs. This place has CCTV with monitors in each theater, so it’s possible for customers to see who’s coming in and whether they’re heading for one of the movie theaters. Women don’t come here often, so the appearance of a female always draws considerable attention. Couples seem to fit into one of three stereotypical roles. Most are there for stimulation, so they come in, watch the screen for 20 or 30 minutes (some sit stoically while others might engage in some light petting), and then split, presumably to return home to fuck while the juices are still flowing. A smaller number are there to show off, gladly allowing those around them to watch-and-jerk while they engage in oral sex. We usually see the girl go down on the guy, suck him dry after a short spell, and then they leave.
The third group, by far the rarest, is where the woman is there to engage with random customers. This almost always involves her performing blow jobs on assorted guys, while her companion either (a) simply watches, (b) finger-fucks her at the same time, (c) either goes first or patiently awaits his turn, or (d) joins in. In all the times I’ve gone to CC, I’ve never seen any full-on intercourse – well, except for that one time a truck-driver type fucked a cross-dresser in his ass.

Jamie was clearly ready for us to be part of that third group. We slipped into Theater One, where she promptly led me down to the front row. Most of the action takes place in the darkened recesses of the back row, but it’s a cramped space. Jamie clearly preferred the front, where there were no obstacles for anyone to approach her. It was 7:30 on a Friday, but the place was pretty empty. I counted five guys in both theaters, and none of them seemed ready to hit on Jamie. She slipped her hand into my sweats –I’d worn sweatpants commando-style, anticipating the action to follow – while I reached over and started to play with her pussy. After about 15 minutes of this, and with no one coming forward she said, “Let’s get out of here and head over to Pleasures.” On our way out, she talked me into buying her a pint-sized vibrator from the bargain bin, which would come into play much later that evening.

West Colfax in Denver is an old Jewish neighborhood that is now mostly Hispanic. A fixture at King & Colfax is the old Act I & Act II porn house, which was bought out a few years ago by the folks who operate multiple Pleasures adult stores around town. They remodeled the place, which mostly involved splitting the two big theaters into five mini-ones, and thankfully solved the problem of the place always smelling like piss. It’s a pricier entry fee ($24 for a couple), and they’re adamant about two things, both of which were told to us several times while I waited for the cashier to hand over my change. No unaccompanied women – ever – and couples are required to stay together the whole time.

We walked through the entry door into a dark corridor lined with viewing booths. Another aspect of this place is the melding of an old-time porn theater with modern booths, each with its own video screen and hundreds of XXX movie options. Your ticket price includes unlimited viewing over a six-hour period, although I’ve never seen anyone’s ticket checked to see if they’re overstayed their welcome. There must be 40-50 booths in all; some have doors that lock on the inside, but most are fairly open. The hallways wind around in a way that you almost wish you’d brought some breadcrumbs to scatter so you can find your way out again. This place was far better attended, and Jamie certainly attracted a lot of attention as we worked our way toward the east side of the building and its multiple mini-theaters.

Each theater shows a different porn genre, and it’s marked on the doors so you know what to expect. Only one runs pure hetero porn, though, and that’s where we were headed. It’s the theater farthest from the entrance, with two rows of five padded theater seats WELL PAST their sell-by dates, plus fairly spacious aisles all around the block of seats. Jamie again led me to the front row, but this time we had plenty of company. The first guy, around Jamie’s age, wasted no time in unzipping his jeans and pulling out his semi-hard dick. She tugged on his trouser leg to urge him closer and immediately sucked him all the way into her mouth. Then she wrapped the fingers of her right hand around the base of his shaft while working her lips around the cock-head, meanwhile reaching over to me with her left hand and grabbing my wrist. She pushed my hand in between her spread-apart thighs, and I responded by shoving two fingers into her pussy and pressing my thumb against her clit.

This first guy lasted maybe three minutes and pulled out just as he was coming. Some of his semen landed on her outstretched tongue, but most got deposited on her chin. Before she had a chance to wipe it away, however, a much older guy (mid-50s?) jumped in front of her with his pants already down around his ankles. She went to work on him immediately. Meanwhile, I climbed down off my seat and knelt as close to her front as possible. Once she realized what I had in mind, she twisted toward me while pushing her companion over to the other side. This gave me much clearer access to her pussy, and I took full advantage. I did everything to her that she liked, with two fingers deep and up against her g-spot, my tongue flicking her clit and occasionally sucking on it hard between my lips, and pulling out my fingers to replace it with a rigid tongue. She loves to have her asshole worked as well, but with the narrow confines of the seating and the fact she was sucking off a guy who partially blocked my full access to her crotch, that was one maneuver that would need to wait until later.

Old Guy neatly shot his wad down her throat and got replaced right away by some hefty Hispanic dude. I kept eating and fingering her pussy, and she rode up against my face through three or four orgasms plus a total of four blow jobs to completion. My knees were getting sore, so I stood up just as Guy No. 4 (a chubby white guy in his 20s) blasted her face. At that Jamie was ready for a break, so I helped her up and scraped most of the jizz off her chin before feeding it to her. The crowd of guys, which had grown to about 15 from the time we’d started, let out a collective “Ooh.” She called out to the group, “Don’t go too far, boys. I’ll be back shortly.”

We found our way through the maze to one of the bathrooms, and I locked the door behind us as she sat down to take a pee. “Did you bring any condoms?” she asked. I admitted to be holding half a dozen, so she smiled and said, “Oh, good. Let’s go back and see who wants to fuck.” As we walked into the mini-theater to return to our seats, Jamie stopped short and confronted the same old guy who’d been her second oral customer. “You’re still here,” she stated rather than asked. “You got enough left to give me a good fuck?” He appeared speechless and could only nod, so she grabbed hold of his shirtfront and half-dragged him behind her as she made her way to the front row again. “Give him a rubber,” she instructed me, so I did and then went to lean against the side wall to watch what came next.

Jamie reversed herself and knelt on the sagging theater seat, halfway leaning over the back while spreading her legs. Old Guy dropped his drawers to display a reasonably erect dick, tore open the condom wrapper and expertly slipped it on. He leaned up against Jamie, trying to find the proper height to allow him entry. Meanwhile she reached down between her legs and helped guide him into her pussy. There was a bit of confusion and halfhearted thrusts as they tried to work out between them who was going to do what. But they eventually fell into a satisfactory rhythm, and Old Guy gave her everything he had. The room was quiet except for the XXX video playing up on the big screen, so it was possible to hear clearly the guys grunts as he thrust forward, the slap of his thighs on her ass, and the moans coming from her mouth as she rubbed her clit while getting fucked.

At this point the room was pretty full of guys. Most of them had their dicks out and were stroking them. Off in one corner I noticed, for the first time, two fairly hefty cross-dressers who were clearly T-gurls, complete with breasts on display by their low-cut outfits. The smaller one was on his knees, sucking some skinny guy’s cock. Meanwhile the larger one – at least 6-4, 275 – pushed away a couple of guys who were standing in the row behind Jamie. I later learned s/he went by the name of Brittany, since as we were leaving an hour or so later, Jamie made a point of collecting a phone number. Anyway, Brittany stood right in front of Jamie as she was getting fucked, waited a beat or two to size up the situation, and then moved those feminine garments aside to reveal a massively thick cock. Without saying a word or waiting for Jamie’s reaction, s/he pulled Jamie’s head forward with one hand while guiding that dick between her lips with the other. The sight of her choking on that monster may have been too much for Old Guy, because he quickly finished up inside her and withdrew.

Jamie forced her way off that cock and asked Brittany to fuck her. S/he grunted by way of reply and went to the front of the room. I offered up a condom as s/he passed by, only to be told in a high, lispy voice, “No thanks, I’ve got my own.” Brittany ripped open a Magnum, worked the latex over the massive cock-head and down the impressively thick shaft, and took Jamie fairly brutally. S/he grabbed Jamie’s buttocks and lifted her up off into the air, which was the only way Brittany could achieve full penetration without kneeling on the floor; that’s how much of a height difference there was between them. This repositioning forced Jamie’s head down to the bottom of the seat, her face plastered against the faux-velvet-covered seat back. Brittany pounded her mercilessly for at least 40 or 50 strokes before letting out a most unladylike bellow and freezing in place while “her” cock pulsed inside Jamie’s pussy. After withdrawing, Brittany spun Jamie around and stuck that jizz-covered dick into her mouth. Jamie calmly licked it clean and then tilted her head back so she could drain the cum from the used condom she’d grabbed out of Brittany’s hand and suspended up above her face. Those still assembled (literally) gave her a standing ovation.

As all good actors know when it’s time to leave the stage, Jamie decided the conclusion of her encounter with Brittany was the perfect exit line. She stood up, somewhat shakily it seemed, pointed to the jacket she’d shed so that I knew to grab it, and then took my hand as we made our way out of the theater. Knowing I hadn’t gotten much of Jamie’s attention so far, although I’d enjoyed the show immensely and was proud to have used my oral skills to make her cum multiple times, as we headed toward my car she said, “Let’s go back to your place and try out some of those toys you told me about. I can’t wait to run my new vibrator over my clit, and my ass needs some serious Zac-attention.” But the rest of the evening’s activities will have to wait for another time to be told.

Basketball Jones
I got a basketball Jones
Got a basketball Jones, oh baby, ooooooh.
Yes, I am the victim of a basketball Jones
Ever since I was a little baby, I always be dribblin'
In fac', I was de baddest dribbler in the whole neighborhood
Then one day, my mama bought me a basketball
And I loved that basketball
I took that basketball with me everywhere I went
That basketball was like a basketball to me

I even put that basketball underneath my pillow
Maybe that's why I can't sleep at night
I need help, ladies and gentlemens
I need someone to stand beside me
I need, I need someone to set a pick for me at the free-throw line of life
Someone I can pass to
Someone to hit the open man on the give-and-go
And not end up in the popcorn machine
So cheerleaders, help me out
Oh, that sounds so sweet
Sing it out
C'mon Coach Booty, Red Blazer, sing along with me
That be bad, honky
Yeah
I want everybody in the whole stadium to stand up and sing with us
Oh yeah, sing it out like you're proud
All right, everybody watchin' coast-to-coast, sing along with us
Bill Russell, sing along with us
Chick Hearn, sing along with us
Chris Schenkel, don't sing nothin'

Oh, it feels so good
Gimme the ball
I'll go one-on-one against the world, left-handed
I could stuff it from center court with my toes
I could jump on top of the backboard, take off a quarter, leave fifteen cents change I
could, I could dribble behind my back I got more moves than Ex-Lax I'm bad I could
dribble with my tongue Here I go down court, try to stop me You can't stop me 'cause I
got a Basketball Jones Here I come That's my hook shot with my eyebrow Yeah, I could
dunk it with my nose I'm, I'm bad as King Kong, gimme the ball I'm hot, I'm hot as...,
I'm hot as..., I'm hot as... uh Uh, uh, uh, uh

Ok my confession happened over Christmas and new year. I am Carly i'm 19 and last year my parents were going away over Christmas and new year but they didn't want to leave me alone for 2 weeks as I had never been alone for that long before so they asked my best friends (Toni) parents if I could stay with them over that time. Her parents were cool with it as I had stayed with them lots of times though never for that long. I always loved staying there. Toni's room has a big king size bed and when I stay over we always just cuddle up together
We had a great Christmas day lots of food and booze probably too much booze because we all got a little drunk. Toni and me had fooled around together a few times before but that night we were both very horny and when we went to bed we couldn't keep our hands off each other, we fell asleep naked and around 4am I woke up needing to pee so bad, I ran to the toilet still naked and burst open the door not even thinking if anyone was in there. Toni's dad was already in and he was peeing too, I said sorry but he said he would not be long and I stood there nude and watched him finish. I went to wash his hands and i couldn't wait any longer I sat down and pissed. Her dad looked down at me and I said I was sorry about being naked he laughed and said not to worry with a smile on his face.
The next morning I went down to the kitchen dressed in my bath robe her dad was in there already her mum was still sleeping as was Toni. I said good morning and he said it back and joked saying that i managed to put something on this time. I laughed and said only just. He said I looked better they way I was In the toilet. I have no idea if I was still a little drunk or what but I let my robe fall open and faced him and said was this better? He looked at me smiled and said it was. Nothing more happened then and all that day I felt very naughty, I dragged Toni to her room around 3pm and got her to fuck me silly all the time thinking about her dad. That night the booze was flowing again and the more drunk I got the more horny I was. Toni went to bed pretty early very drunk and her mum followed soon after. That left me alone with her dad. He went up to check on them and came back saying they were both passed out drunk. I joked saying maybe I should be naked again, he just smiled and said he wouldn't stop me. The booze took over and I pulled off my top and let my skirt fall to the floor, I stood there in my underwear and thought fuck it and took my bra off I looked at him and he said dont stop there so off came my panties and I was naked with him, I said it was his turn now, I was shocked at how quick he got naked and then I saw his cock, hard as a rock, I never said anything i just dropped to my knees and took him in my mouth. I sucked him off for about 5 minuets before he started to shake he shot his cum in my mouth and my god what a lot of cum too. I got up and he took my hand and led me to the couch, he pushed me onto it and was soon licking my pussy returning the favour. Now I usually take ages to cum but he had me cumming in no time at all. He turned me over and fucked me from behind, I was about to say use a condom but was too late her just pushed it in me, it was a quick hard fuck and in a short time he shot his cum inside me. I fell forward on the couch and thought what have I done but he had not finished with me, I felt his finger go into my ass then another he finger fucked my ass for a while and I thought that must be it but no his cock had got hard again and he pulled his fingers out and pushed his cock in, I tried hard not to scream as I had never had a cock in my ass before it hurt so bad but also felt nice he fucked me slow forcing it in deeper every stroke. He didn't cum again but when he pulled out we cuddled for a little and he asked if I was ok? I told him I was more than ok and we went to our beds.
Now we did find the time to fuck another 5 times in my stay and since then we have met up a few times too.

Back in late August my mom left my dad because of his mental state. He def had something wrong so in September I moved back 3 hours to stay with him to see what I could do as he couldn’t hold a job anymore. He has a habit of like being one of your soap box guys, not the world ending type but he was more like “ the government is out to get me and me and my sons are from a long line of kings who really do own this land and we are your rulers and also aliens are trying to steal our magnetosphere” ya those were his exact points. So I didn’t know what to do to stop it, me being a guy I begged and pleaded, got mad, threatened to leave, etc. I got permission to work from home at my home so I could help but it was trying my patience. There gave me leave up until this new year, aka basically now and I’m writing this as I’m back to my apartment.

Anyways I did walk in on him waving porn one day and straight up jacking off as I guess between my mom leaving and me coming back he had gotten used to no one being around. Well it might be extreme but I figured he was sexually lacking. I’m a guy by the way, and I honestly don’t know what I proposed this but later that day I told him if he just hung around the house and stopped going out and being a madman that I would , potentially let him use my ass. I have never done it before and was straight but I was at my wits end and I’d rather it up my ass the suck on it. He was appalled and left until like 3 hours later he comes asking me if I was serious. I said I was if he stopped doing those things and he said okay. 

Now, I didn’t get a good look at his dick when he was jacking off because he was almost back on, but when I was getting ready to let him I seen he had an over average one. He pulled out the lube he told me he used on my mom’s ass and did his thing with me. He legit took his time, but he was all fingers and lube for the first  few minutes until he was ready to fuck. Let’s just say it was intense and I was not a fan, it didn’t hurt but felt weird. I held out until he nutted and I legit ran to the bathroom.

So I figured it would go this route and hoped it didn’t but it was not a one time thing and he wanted more. Through all of it and by the time I left to come back, I still didn’t love it. I got more used to it and it’s a weird flex but if he was going at a decent pace and wasn’t trying to pound me hard (which he did sometimes) I got so good at taking it up my ass that I could like read a book and focus on that while he was doing it. If he was trying to fuck me hard though that did get intense and I would just put my face into the pillow. Also didn’t need to run to the bathroom right away once I got used to it. He could bust nuts in it and I wouldn’t even feel it other than the lubey wet asshole I had. The cum might of leaked out but I tell you, it felt like he was putting it pretty deep up there.

I’ve been sitting on this story for almost a month, but it’s one far too good to keep to myself – so, here goes.

I’ve written here a couple of times about Tildie, a 50ish divorcee who LOVES to suck cock and insists we role-play as daddy / daughter while she does it. Our last encounter was in July 2024 – an adult theater visit where she’d sucked off three guys and subsequently got fucked by one of them who had a massively thick dick -- and I’d pretty much written her off since I hadn’t heard from her since that night. I knew she’d lost her sales job and was feeling depressed, so I let it go.

Lo and behold, she texted me out of the blue in early March with the message, “I need to suck cock, daddy.” After a few back-and-forth messages, we settled on the evening of March 12 (2025), when my wife would be out of town. After hoping she’d consent to joining me at the local swingers’ motel, we instead settled on the same adult theater that we’d visited the previous summer.

After paying the entry fee, we headed upstairs. It’s an adult “toy” store on the main floor, with private viewing booths in back, but the second floor has a large central foyer with access to five separate mini-theaters, each showing various genres of porn on big screens. The place attracts nearly an entirely male clientele; a visiting mixed couple is a rarity, who often cruise through quickly and then leave. That doesn't prevent straight guys like me, though, from going there in hopes of seeing another couple in action. Midweek (this was a Wednesday) can be a bit sparse, attendance-wise, so I took the liberty of placing an ad on our local DL forum to gin up interest. I held off disclosing the date, time and location until I knew whoever answered my ad wasn’t a total weirdo. Tildie had no idea I’d placed the ad, and I made sure the invitees knew not to spill the beans, but I wanted to make sure she had plenty of cock-sucking targets. I ended up divulging the details to seven guys, six of whom ultimately showed up.

Tildie is a self-described BBW, but she’s pretty firm for a 50-something woman with two kids – big tits (38D) and a big ass, but not “sloppy fat.” She wore black yoga pants (no panties), a black lacy front-hook bra, and a shiny silver sweatshirt. I had on my usual arcade outfit – black sweatpants, sneakers, and a long-sleeve gym shirt (no underwear).

We cruised through the various theaters for a bit, looking for a place to settle. There were two guys hanging out upstairs, and they casually followed us to the theater playing some heterosexual porn. It’s a room about 12 by 15 feet, with chairs placed haphazardly in various parts of the theater. They’re sturdy metal – some seat two people, others just one – with open-weave seats, sort of like what you’d see on a balcony or patio. They’re not particularly comfortable, but they serve their purpose and clean up easily.

We parked ourselves in a two-seater, off to one side and about halfway back from the giant screen in front of the room. Tildie immediately beckoned to one of the guys and asked him outright if he wanted her to suck his cock. He immediately agreed, stepped in front of her, and dropped his trousers to reveal an average-sized cock already fully erect. I suggested he must have been playing “pocket pool” in advance, but Tildie simply said, “Shush, daddy,” and leaned forward to wrap her lips around his cock. She’s clearly an expert at her craft and uses her hand and mouth in a perfect combination of teasing, fondling and sucking. Guy No. 1 didn’t last very long – I’d guess, maybe three minutes – and he started to back away as he began to ejaculate. I said, “No. She wants to swallow the whole load,” so he remained in place as she leaned forward and sucked him dry.

By this time, four more guys had shown up. I’m guessing at least a couple were there thanks to my ad, because they had their cocks out and ready. Tildie took on the next one, a medium-sized Hispanic guy who was probably in his early 30s. He lasted a bit longer, and Tildie really worked up a sweat before completely draining his balls. I handed her the bottle of water I’d brought with me, and she took a few sips to wash down the cum she’d just had in her mouth. “Fuck, it’s getting hot in here,” she exclaimed, tendrils of her hair plastered to the sides of her flushed, overheated face. “You should take off your sweatshirt,” I suggested helpfully, and she stood up to strip it off, revealing her well-packed black lace bra.

She motioned for Guy No. 3, an older while gentleman, to take the seat she’d just vacated, and I moved out of the way to give him room to plop down after dropping his trousers to his ankles. Tildie got on her knees in front of him and started to suck, having first pulled down her bra to expose her well-rounded breasts. She reached out to him and placed his hands on her tits, and he was soon tugging away at her distended nipples as she masterfully blew him. Halfway to completion, she said to me, “Rub my pussy, daddy.” So, I got down on the floor with her and worked her yoga pants down past her hips, so they hung at the mid-thigh level. I reached in from behind and felt her extremely wet crotch, pussy lips coated with her juices and her hole ready for penetration. I proceeded to finger-fuck her enthusiastically with one hand while reaching around with the other to play with her clit.

Shortly thereafter, she swallowed the old guy’s load and leaned back so he could vacate the chair.
Guy No. 4 was a very heavyset Hispanic guy who wasted no time stripping off his sweats and taking the place of the man who’d just finished. He appeared to have a pretty small cock – I’m guessing a bit under four inches fully erect – but Tildie is an equal-opportunity cocksucker. She went to work on him as enthusiastically as she’d done with all the others, but he proved to be quite a challenge. Whereas the ones before generally ejaculated anywhere from a couple of minutes to perhaps 10, this guy seemed to go on forever. I’d continued to play with Tildie’s pussy throughout, but I was getting sore from crouching on the hard floor, so I eventually back off and let her continue without my interference.

I didn’t formally time this guy, but he had to have taken more than 20 minutes to cum. Tildie tried all sorts of tricks – massaging his ball sac, jerking his cock at different speeds, licking the head both clockwise and counter-clockwise – until finally I suggested she should just admit defeat. “Nope,” she replied, “One more idea.” She encouraged him to slide forward in his seat until half his butt was hanging over the front edge of the chair. Then she shoved a finger up his ass and proceeded to massage his prostate. That did the trick, and he pumped a fair bit of Mexi-jizz down her throat.

At this point, it was time for a break, plus she’d temporarily run out of patrons. There were two “unblown” guys hanging about, but they seemed far more interested in watching than participating. So instead, Tildie stood up (with me helping her), pulled up her pants, and slipped back into her sweatshirt. “Let’s see what’s going on downstairs,” she suggested, so we took the stairs and strolled through the store area on our way to the arcade. There was a young couple checking out vibrators, and the guy did a double-take when he saw the two of us heading into the arcade area. I thought they might actually follow us in, but sadly that didn’t happen. We cruised around the various booths and peeked into a few so I could show Tildie how some of them were spacious enough for three or four people, while others had barely enough room for two. “No glory holes?” she asked. I explained they’d covered them up some time ago, which appeared to disappoint her.

Our examination complete, we crossed the store again on our way to the stairs. “Oh, I forgot you two were still here,” said the woman behind the counter who’d taken our entry fee. “A couple of guys just came in, wondering if there was anyone else in the theater area.” I asked if they left, but the cashier explained they bought their tickets and went upstairs. That’s all Tildie needed to hear. She tugged on my arm and whispered in my ear, “I want to suck some more cock, daddy.” My reply: “No time like the present, baby girl,” and up we went.

We took our place in the same mini-theater, except this time Tildie took off her sweatshirt right away. I pulled her bra back down in front and sucked on her nipples while she reached into my sweatpants and stroked my cock. “Wow, you’ve been leaking precum like crazy, huh?” she exclaimed. I didn’t have a chance to reply because, just then, one of the new arrivals had tapped Tildie on her shoulder and asked her if she’d suck his cock. She motioned for him to sit down, and she bent over at the waist to shove her face between his legs. Guy No. 5 was a tall Black man with a larger-than-average cock. “Ooh,” Tildie exclaimed. “I’m torn between blowing you and asking you to fuck me.” She clearly favors thick dicks over average ones, having a fairly large pussy hole to fill. The guy tugged at the back of her head to introduce her mouth to his cock, saying as he did so, “First one, then the other, OK?” She could only grunt in reply, her mouth already full of BBC.

He shot his wad fairly quickly – I’d guess after about five minutes – and stood up to fulfill his other half of the bargain. I’d previously pulled down her pants to calf level and was finger-fucking her pussy as she sucked the Black guy’s cock, so she was ripe and ready for him as he nudged me out of the way and moved in behind her. One of the other recent arrivals quickly took a seat so she could work on his erection as the big guy gripped her hips and plunged into her moist hole. She gasped from the penetration but stayed firmly on the seated guy’s cock, managing to jerk him off into her mouth despite a heavy pounding from behind. “Don’t come in my pussy,” she managed to blurt out, but just at that moment the Black guy grunted twice, said, “Uh, too late,” and pulled out. Even in the dim light, you could see the glob of gooey white stuff slide out of her pussy and drip onto the crotch of her yoga pants. “Clean me up, daddy,” Tildie ordered, so I used my hand to scoop up as much cum as still clung to her pussy lips and inner thighs, and then reached around so she could lick my hand clean.

Over the course of the next 30 minutes, Tildie sucked off a few more guys – even one of the original watchers who finally succumbed to her talents – until there was no one left except the two of us. At that point, she’d blown nine guys and swallowed 10 loads – one guy had come back for seconds – plus the one she’d taken vaginally. I’d held off, figuring we’d go back to my place where I’d get a more leisurely opportunity at her well-used mouth. We even got as far as the front door when, all of a sudden, another guy entered the place. “Do you want me to suck your cock?” she asked him, as he barely had gotten through the entryway. He admitted that would be excellent, so we turned around and went back upstairs while he purchased his ticket and appeared in the little theater a few minutes later.

Tildie worked him over as expertly as she’d done with all the others that evening. I marveled at her stamina and skill level, as enthusiastic in sucking her tenth different cock as she’d been for her first. Whereas most of the other guys had been content to sit back and let her do all the work, Guy No. 10 was more proactive. He literally throat-fucked her, quite forcefully, and Tildie submitted to his efforts without complaint. Later, she told me he’d ejaculated more than anyone else that evening, so much so that she’d barely managed to keep it from spilling out. He was also one of the few to express his thanks for her doing such a good job, and he even shook my hand before leaving, thanking me as well for sharing my friend with everyone.

I wasn’t willing to wait any longer, so I told Tildie to sit down as I moved in front of her and dropped my sweatpants to ankle level. She started out by licking up all the precum that coated my half-erect penis – I’d generated a lot from all the watching I’d done – and then took my entire 5.5 inches in one gulp. She moved her mouth back and forth along my shaft in sort of an energy-saving mode knowing I usually took a while to ejaculate. After about five minutes, I sensed another person in the room and looked up to see a fairly young guy standing off to the side. He had on gym shorts that were pulled to the side to expose his long thin cock, and he was stroking it to match the rhythm of Tildie’s mouth on my dick. With no one else about, I figured he’d be her final patron of the evening, and I didn’t want to have him blast off without giving her a change to taste his cum. Therefore, I pushed her face slightly away from the base of my cock and started to jerk myself off against her lips. “Feed me your cum, daddy,” she said softly, and I sped up my tugging until I came explosively. Having anticipated this night for some time, I’d held off masturbating for three days, so I had a fairly sizeable load to pump into her mouth. I came noisily and thoroughly, shooting three thick ropes of cum down her gullet. As I backed away, I motioned to the other guy to take my place, which he did speedily. I was correct in my assessment; it didn’t take him long at all to pump her mouth full of warm, gooey sperm – maybe two minutes, tops – and then she declared herself finished for the night.

“Did you keep count, daddy? she asked, as we walked back to my car. “Twelve, cocks, sweetie, including mine, and thirteen loads altogether.” Wow – that’s a lot of cum, daddy” she said with pride in her voice. “Did you like watching me suck all those cocks, daddy?” “You were wonderful, baby girl,” I replied. “I enjoyed it more than you can imagine.”

I dropped her off at her place after giving her a goodnight kiss. Figuring that would be the last I’d hear from Tildie for a while again, I was surprised to get a text message from her just last week, less than a month after her marathon sucking session. “I’m ready to suck more cock soon, daddy,” read her message. We traded comments back and forth, and she agreed she’d like to try the swingers’ place next time. “I don’t want to go in the hot tub,” she stated firmly, “Because I’m not sure they do a good job cleaning it. But you said they have a couple of king-size beds in the pool area, so I’d be comfortable sucking cock there.” I reminded her we were far more likely to see other couples in attendance there, versus the all-male clientele typical at the adult theater. “You know what that means, right sweetie?” I asked. “Yes, daddy. I’ll have a chance to show you how well I eat pussy. And you can eat mine, too.” I told her it would be my pleasure – and indeed it will!

I’m hoping Tildie will accept my invitation in the very near future, which means I’ll have another fun tale to tell here. Stay tuned!