I want to be the bull in this type of situation, although whether you want it or not, I would try to make sure my first time with her (and many times after) is without you so we can get to know each other properly. Also I would insist on never using condoms or pulling out.
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I also would insist on NO condoms..and I want to watch a guys cum flowing out of her well fucked pussy. My wife has been pursued by guys since she was very young and I'm sure she enjoyed the chase and the pleasure of good sex. I understand your feelings of not wanting me to be present...but my being there to watch and enjoy is the whole purpose of me trying to change my fantasy to real pleasure. I appreciate your response....but it's got to be my way or no way. I also understand that good fucking and getting to know each other properly can grow into a love affair....too much drama. Thanks