Hello
I am a married white female in my early 30's. I have blond hair and am what most men would consider to be good looking. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. I recently discovered he has been looking at Interracial Pornography on the internet. Almost exclusively black men having sex with white women. There seems to be an underlying theme of White Wives cheating on their husbands with well endowed black men, sometimes with the white husbands being forced to watch.
This was a very disturbing discovery for me. I was appalled and surprised that my husband has so much of this stuff on his computer and in his internet history. What's even worse is he looks at "cuckold" porn and many of the women in these videos have the same look that I do. Thin, white women with with blond hair and blue eyes. If you do not know what interracial cuckold is, it's pornography where a white man watches his wife wife have sex with a black man. The black man always has a much larger penis and the white man is verbally and physically humiliated by his wife and the black man. Why does my husband look at this stuff? Is it possible that he is thinking of me while he watches it? Why would he fantasize and masturbate to thoughts of me with black men?
As I found this pornography on my husbands computer, I began looking at it more and more. My husband doesn't know that I know about his fetish. It began is detective work to find out what turns him on and what he spends his time looking at.
I was raised in a racist family in the south and was taught to stay away from black men. I have never been with a black man. And now here is the even bigger problem.
It's beginning to turn ME on as well. When I was looking at my husbands computer there was one picture of a blond girl that looks a lot like I do, with a very large black man. I was shocked and excited at the size of his penis. I hate to admit it because it makes me feel so ashamed, but I masturbated that night while viewing the picture. I didn't want to, but I was so turned on that I felt like I couldn't stop myself. I felt dirty afterward but it was just the beginning of my addiction.
Now I've began viewing these interracial picture of black men with with women on my own computer. These fantasies are dominating my sex life, and I've lost interest in having sex with my husband. Just the sight of a black mans penis seems to get me going and I can't stop thinking about it. One re-occurring fantasy I have been having is being "taken" by a group of 5 large black men. When I go out in public and see a black man walking by, I think about him sexually even if my husband is by my side.
This is an intrusive fantasy that has been affecting my marriage and sex life. I would like to know what I can do to stop it, and get my husband to stop looking at it as well.
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Freckleluvr